Advice needed - Does cold approach have a use by date?

[ubercat]

Spring's around the corner here. So starting to come out of hibernation. Fitness and $ are OK now - the house is mainly rennovated and my mbike riding is starting to go well. So the 6 months off chicks wasn't wasted but of course I'm going to be way rusty.

Having read a couple of Desdinova's threads on mall game I was thinking of doing some approaches just to build that rejection proof skin and get back up to speed and if I get some profit I'll certainly take it. I normally sidle up to them in shops and go indirect.

BUT I'm nearly 50 and honestly I seldom see any women who are obviously in their 30s (my target market) wandering around (at least without a wedding ring on). Should I drop this part of my game plan and go gonzo on building social circle instead?

I took a friend on the weekend and checked out a couple of wine bars but same thing - mainly a sausage fest - so bar game doesn't seem a good alternative. I'm in melbourne 4.2 million people so no country town.

 

[ubercat]

Guys I discovered game 10 years ago and approached like a mofo but then 3 LTRs happen ed and I pretty much forgot it all so effectively a noob.

So I want to know if mature DJs still use this part of their game. Looks wise most people think I m late 30s so basically I seem to get at minimum a 5 year discount.

 

[mangotot]

In a city that size there is bound to be women who fit your age range. Obviously its less then 21 year olds and that range. You might have to do with divorcees and such like. Is it because you maybe have a looks threshold?

 

[ubercat]

Thanks MT
Looks and kids. Our divorce laws aren't as bad in Australia. They get half of what you ve made combined since the marriage/common law NOT half of everything you had coming in as well.

I really want to know 2 things:
- do older DJs bother with cold approach and why/why not
- where do they find women in that age range

 

[ubercat]

BTW apologies the mall tips were from Espi

 

[Tictac]

I am not nearly as sour on online dating as a lot of guys here. When you're busy and most of your friends are married, other than by chance meeting someone, OLD can be a decent alternative. I'm lucky, I live in NYC so it's a target rich environment, very competitive, but there are a lot of desirable women here. And there are more things to do than you can do. So I'm wanting to go do things and not go by myself.

And I am a desirable guy once you get past the work and travel schedule and being a single parent. So I go out when I'm ready. I don't find OLD all that much trouble. The women I've met look like their photos and talk like their narratives. I'm not looking to get married so it's pretty much all good.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear UberCat,
Tic-Tac is right go older...I find them better in the sack...Cold Approach shouldn't have an on-off button...turn it on and Araldite it there...Opportunity is like lightning...it comes out of the blue...just be prepared to grasp it quickly,for it doesn't hang around...But not in Bars...much better in the Grocery store,Asian Shops,library,photo copier...to be prepared start storing cute remarks and always have a note book handy!

 

[glass half full]

Forget about bars and such, I have decent luck in drug stores, grocery stores, book stores (this can be really good, especially in evening hours). Library sometimes. Any shopping can be decent, except Walmart. Nothing fun there...

Anywhere you have an interest is a good place to find someone with similar ones like yours. Car shows (tough part is most there are married), walking a dog goes well too. Gals like animals, good way to start convo too. Church- not so good it seems. Folks there care too much about what everyone else thinks. You want to avoid circumstances like that for obvious reasons. Gals tend to bend to whatever their present company decides for them.

Somehow catching them alone but not in a way they might see as "creepy" is the best bet. Do you have kids, nieces or nephews or neighbor kid friends? A man who does things and has fun with kids often attracts them too, as long as they realize they aren't yours...when they call you by name instead of dad. Gals aren't always looking for a package deal, like we don't always either lol.

Another surprise was night classes, the ratio of men/women usually in our favor, and the age is right and they are more likely to be looking as well. I went to one once at night to "sit in" because I was struggling with the online version, I felt like "fresh meat in a meat market" there...I'll say I was really surprised there!

+1 to Scaramouche, he's right on. Not sure i'd totally cancel out on the 30-ish ones completely though...esp. Mid to Late 30's.

Good luck...

 

[ubercat]

Thanks gents - its begun - flirted with an early 20s 7 while waiting for my movie group. She was remarkably boring but good practice. Now to take Scar's advice and make it like breathing.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

BUT I'm nearly 50 and honestly I seldom see any women who are obviously in their 30s (my target market) wandering around (at least without a wedding ring on). Should I drop this part of my game plan and go gonzo on building social circle instead?

Doing cold approaches is good for your confidence, good for your game, good for your soul.

Even if you NEVER get any numbers, you'll be MUCH better off for it. Keep a notebook and see it as an exercise to always IMPROVE your game. Not to get laid. Every single conversation is PRACTICE ONLY.

The VERY MEANING of "outcome independent."

Being and older guy and being able to walk up to younger girls and talk them into a smile and a good mood WITHIN MINUTES is an uber skill (for an ubercat) that will raise all other social skills.

 

[ubercat]

Thanks TY
Needed a bit of validation on the strategy. The workplace is so political these days I think social skills r survival skills. I ve been trying to rebuild my social circle after a few friends dropping off for various reasons. And I ve met the same kinds of people playing the same kinds of games. So learning to enjoy the game is the only option.

 

[sodbuster]

The only "use by date" a cold approach has is waiting too long after she gives you "the look". IF you wait too long, it looks like you are unsure of yourself. The only problem I have with it is the odds are so low. Not that I get turned down, but that if I talk to her too long, she's going to say some stupid sh1t I can't deal with.

I do a few cold approaches, but since I'm surrounded by brainwashed western women.... not as many as I did 6 years ago

 

[ubercat]

I hear u SB

The princesses I have to deal with at work r unbelievable. Mind u men r stupid too - we like to hire women and so do women. Then everything becomes all about the politics seen it happen many times.

Euro chicks r fz or pump & dump for me. So perfect practice. Prefer Asian girls there s plenty in Oz. Sure there's latinas too but haven't found them yet.