Whether you are new to the idea of DJing, or you consider yourself a veteran at some point there are going to hit some rough spots. I've seen quiet a few posts where some of you question the advice here and wonder if it really works. This advice does work, just not all the time. That's they way things go in life, nothing is 100% garunteed. Of course you know that, but it may not feel like that. So here are some tips to help you get through your down period and recover.
The DJ Process
Being a DJ isn't a simple transformation, you'll not wake up one day and simply point at a woman and she'll do whatever you want.(Unless it's a hooker, but I think you have enough self-esteem not to go that route) Nor is becoming a DJ a short transformation either. Most guys are not geared to this sort of mentality due to conditioning from society and some feminist philosphy. Think of DJing as an evolutionary process, your tactics, style, will be tested many times. These tests, obiviously are the women which you seek. Women are ever changing in what they want, so you must be ever changing in what you have to offer. I'm not saying sell yourself out, I'm saying that some techinques of picking up on women get old. If you are sucessful then you reinforce those skills, if not then you adjust your skills. Always remember you never stop learning, and you should never stop using what you have learned.
Know Your Environment
Some environments are more conducive to picking up women than others.(Example: A Club vs. A Church) Women are just more likey to be receptive to you in places where its "socially acceptable" to meet and hit on women. Not saying "Cold Pick Ups" are not possible, but if your in a slump "Cold Pick Ups" can make you feel like an AFC and the last thing you need is another major blow to your confidence.
Know Your Women
No matter what age you are, you have at some point that people can be classified into types. This is true for women, certain actions and words will give away what type of person they are. To make things simple I'll give you three designations, but realize there are probably many more variations on these types.
1. The C0ckteaser- These girls know guys want them. At least they think they do, and they will play with men accordingly. No matter what you do they are always going to seem two steps away. Some are act innocent and pretend to care, others know they are teasing and don't mind showing it. Whether they do it on purpose, out conditioning, or unknowingly, its just better not to waste your time and money on them. (Variants: Manipulators, Dirty Virgins, Daddy's Little Girl, "Princesses.")
2. Hard Sell- These are the women you have been hit on so much, or used so much they switch to a defensive personality. They develop high standards and require reassurance that they are making the right choice in men. They are more like to ask around about you to figure out what kind of guy you are. Unlike the C0ckteaser they are willing to go further with a DJ if he meets those standards. These women usually require more game and take a few more steps than usual to win over. (Variants: Hotties, Women With "Taste," Miss High Society , Virgins)
3. Soft Sell- These women are looking for a good time or have yet to develop a totally defensive mind frame towards men. These women have standards, but are much more flexible in bending those standards. Hence why it easier for a DJ to "sell himself" to them. The "Soft Sell" requires less game because they are more receptive towards men. (Variants: Some Hotties, Decent Chicks, The Girl Next Door, Ugly Women, Sluts.)
Please note that this is not comprehensive and the idea behind "hard and soft sell" means how much effort it takes to pick them up. By knowing what women to go for and what women to aviod, c0ckteasers, you can help protect your confidence as you climb out of your slump. This does not mean sell yourself out or to not go for the most beautiful women in the world. What it means is for you just adjust your game/tactics to the type of woman your dealing with.
Conserving Your Game Is To Conserve Your Inner Strength
Think of DJing as being a boxer. It requires training and strategy, and you have to be able to take a couple of blows(to your confidence) and go the distance. But a danger for boxers is to over train, they can get hurt or their body is too fatigued to recover and they won't be 100% for their fight. Same thing can happen to a DJ, if you constantly go around trying to pick up women your going to get sloopy, tired and your heart won't be in it. You'll also develop a reputation as a guy just looking to get some and that will kill your image. Boxers will spar on occasion in training but they will not push it, and the certainly don't spar all the time. When a fight comes that matters to a Boxer, thats when they put everything they have into it. So save up your game for when it counts. There are tons of women out there, but when one happens to catch your eye just right you really want to be fresh and at full emotional, physical, mental strength to maximize your chances for sucess. Being in a slump and over extending yourself can take a toll on you emotionally and mentally, and that kind of negativity will eventually hurt you phyisically.(i.e. eating while depressed) If you conserve your game for when it matters results usualy turn out much better than someone who is wore out and drained when they hit on a woman.
Testing Your "DJ Tools" Versus Being A Tease
I'm an advocate of testing and refining ones techinques, I don't think that you should try testing when it matters on some woman you want. Instead you should try on women your not going to care if you don't go any further with. This doesn't mean go out and see how many phone numbers you can get. Nobody likes teases, it will come back to haunt your reputation. So how do you test your skills without being a tease. Simple you set different goals for each "target" if you will. One goal could be start a conversation with a woman and see if you get any signs. Another would be getting a woman to dance with you, and so on. These are meant to become progressively harder to build up both your skill and confidence, eventually you'll progress to getting her into bed in one night stuff. But like training in a gym, there is a proper place to train in DJing, go to places that you don't normally frequent such as a new bar or club. That way if you do get a reputation its with people who you don't care about or will ever see again.(Hopefully) Well I think that just about covers it.
Grey Fox
The DJ Process
Being a DJ isn't a simple transformation, you'll not wake up one day and simply point at a woman and she'll do whatever you want.(Unless it's a hooker, but I think you have enough self-esteem not to go that route) Nor is becoming a DJ a short transformation either. Most guys are not geared to this sort of mentality due to conditioning from society and some feminist philosphy. Think of DJing as an evolutionary process, your tactics, style, will be tested many times. These tests, obiviously are the women which you seek. Women are ever changing in what they want, so you must be ever changing in what you have to offer. I'm not saying sell yourself out, I'm saying that some techinques of picking up on women get old. If you are sucessful then you reinforce those skills, if not then you adjust your skills. Always remember you never stop learning, and you should never stop using what you have learned.
Know Your Environment
Some environments are more conducive to picking up women than others.(Example: A Club vs. A Church) Women are just more likey to be receptive to you in places where its "socially acceptable" to meet and hit on women. Not saying "Cold Pick Ups" are not possible, but if your in a slump "Cold Pick Ups" can make you feel like an AFC and the last thing you need is another major blow to your confidence.
Know Your Women
No matter what age you are, you have at some point that people can be classified into types. This is true for women, certain actions and words will give away what type of person they are. To make things simple I'll give you three designations, but realize there are probably many more variations on these types.
1. The C0ckteaser- These girls know guys want them. At least they think they do, and they will play with men accordingly. No matter what you do they are always going to seem two steps away. Some are act innocent and pretend to care, others know they are teasing and don't mind showing it. Whether they do it on purpose, out conditioning, or unknowingly, its just better not to waste your time and money on them. (Variants: Manipulators, Dirty Virgins, Daddy's Little Girl, "Princesses.")
2. Hard Sell- These are the women you have been hit on so much, or used so much they switch to a defensive personality. They develop high standards and require reassurance that they are making the right choice in men. They are more like to ask around about you to figure out what kind of guy you are. Unlike the C0ckteaser they are willing to go further with a DJ if he meets those standards. These women usually require more game and take a few more steps than usual to win over. (Variants: Hotties, Women With "Taste," Miss High Society , Virgins)
3. Soft Sell- These women are looking for a good time or have yet to develop a totally defensive mind frame towards men. These women have standards, but are much more flexible in bending those standards. Hence why it easier for a DJ to "sell himself" to them. The "Soft Sell" requires less game because they are more receptive towards men. (Variants: Some Hotties, Decent Chicks, The Girl Next Door, Ugly Women, Sluts.)
Please note that this is not comprehensive and the idea behind "hard and soft sell" means how much effort it takes to pick them up. By knowing what women to go for and what women to aviod, c0ckteasers, you can help protect your confidence as you climb out of your slump. This does not mean sell yourself out or to not go for the most beautiful women in the world. What it means is for you just adjust your game/tactics to the type of woman your dealing with.
Conserving Your Game Is To Conserve Your Inner Strength
Think of DJing as being a boxer. It requires training and strategy, and you have to be able to take a couple of blows(to your confidence) and go the distance. But a danger for boxers is to over train, they can get hurt or their body is too fatigued to recover and they won't be 100% for their fight. Same thing can happen to a DJ, if you constantly go around trying to pick up women your going to get sloopy, tired and your heart won't be in it. You'll also develop a reputation as a guy just looking to get some and that will kill your image. Boxers will spar on occasion in training but they will not push it, and the certainly don't spar all the time. When a fight comes that matters to a Boxer, thats when they put everything they have into it. So save up your game for when it counts. There are tons of women out there, but when one happens to catch your eye just right you really want to be fresh and at full emotional, physical, mental strength to maximize your chances for sucess. Being in a slump and over extending yourself can take a toll on you emotionally and mentally, and that kind of negativity will eventually hurt you phyisically.(i.e. eating while depressed) If you conserve your game for when it matters results usualy turn out much better than someone who is wore out and drained when they hit on a woman.
Testing Your "DJ Tools" Versus Being A Tease
I'm an advocate of testing and refining ones techinques, I don't think that you should try testing when it matters on some woman you want. Instead you should try on women your not going to care if you don't go any further with. This doesn't mean go out and see how many phone numbers you can get. Nobody likes teases, it will come back to haunt your reputation. So how do you test your skills without being a tease. Simple you set different goals for each "target" if you will. One goal could be start a conversation with a woman and see if you get any signs. Another would be getting a woman to dance with you, and so on. These are meant to become progressively harder to build up both your skill and confidence, eventually you'll progress to getting her into bed in one night stuff. But like training in a gym, there is a proper place to train in DJing, go to places that you don't normally frequent such as a new bar or club. That way if you do get a reputation its with people who you don't care about or will ever see again.(Hopefully) Well I think that just about covers it.
Grey Fox