advice column: Husband says if she cuts her hair short, it will ‘blow up’ their relationship

[MatureDJ]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2021/09/05/carolyn-hax-husband-short-haircut-blow-up-marriage

Hi, Carolyn: My husband and I have been married 15 years, and about five years ago we nearly got divorced. Lots of therapy later, we are in a better place.
During the rough times, I had a pixie haircut I loved. He hated it, and said a) he isn’t sexually attracted to me with that cut, and b) he can’t stay married to someone he isn’t sexually attracted to. I grew back the hair, but always missed it.

Now that we are in a better place relationship-wise, I want to cut it short again. He sees this as a return of the bad times, and doesn't understand why I would do the one thing that “blows up our relationship.” Which means he thinks of this as a selfish act.

I told him a) hair is not responsible for bad times, b) the cut would be different, and c) it is my body. Long hair is hot and requires maintenance so this is not to stick it to my husband, though the therapist did explore this with me. Any suggestions?

my opinion: The Alpha husband is laying down the law for wifey. I see the hair as a sh!t test - soon to be followed by the much more dire fattening.

 

[SW15]

my opinion: The Alpha husband is laying down the law for wifey. I see the hair as a sh!t test - soon to be followed by the much more dire fattening.

Agree.

Shoulder length hair or longer is much more desirable.

It's rare that a woman looks good with hair shorter than shoulder length. Even in the rare cases where she is attractive with short hair, she'd be more attractive if her hair was shoulder length or longer.

 

[HaleyBaron]

There is never a time when a woman looks better with shorter hair than her longer hair version. Also, I avoid all short hair women, and I always discourage any woman who says she wants to cut her hair. Long hair is one of the traits of women that we as men enjoy. Cutting it short is pure feminism.

 

[Alvafe]

he is right nothing else to it

 

[Zimbabwe]

Women look like 12 year old boys when they have short hair.

I think the man really needs to leave this woman, she wants to have her cake and eat it too.

 

[Bokanovsky]

A woman cutting her hair short is akin to a man deliberately growing man boobs. Both "features" make you significantly less attractive to about 99% of heterosexual members of the opposite gender. In either case, only a person with serious psychological issues would do something like that.

 

[2Rocky]

He is not doing a good enough job of complimenting his wife's long sexy hair....If he made her feel sexy and desirable with long hair she wouldn't think of cutting it. But she isn't attracted to him because of something else so why would she WANT to please him?

Remember guys you need to make her WANT your approval through frequent, but not overdone, positive feedback that is meaningful and sincere. This is Relationship Management 101.

 

[Bokanovsky]

He is not doing a good enough job of complimenting his wife's long sexy hair....If he made her feel sexy and desirable with long hair she wouldn't think of cutting it. But she isn't attracted to him because of something else so why would she WANT to please him?

This is hilarious. If your girlfriend doesn't compliment you on your d!ck, are you going to chop it off?

To every more or less normal woman that I know, her hair is just as important as your d!ck is to you. It defines her femininity and there is no way in hell that she's going to cut it off. The only women with short haircuts that I know are either lesbians or batsh!t crazy.

 

[2Rocky]

This is hilarious. If your girlfriend doesn't compliment you on your d!ck, are you going to chop it off?

To every more or less normal woman that I know, her hair is just as important as your d!ck is to you. It defines her femininity and there is no way in hell that she's going to cut it off. The only women with short haircuts that I know are either lesbians or batsh!t crazy.

We ware dealing with the way WOMEN think , not Men. Newsflash...they think differently. Don't be a moron...

 

[Bokanovsky]

We ware dealing with the way WOMEN think , not Men. Newsflash...they think differently. Don't be a moron...

Yeah, they think differently. No, the don't go around cutting off parts of their body that you don't compliment them on...

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Women with short hair are almost always psychologically broken.

 

[MatureDJ]

Agree.

Shoulder length hair or longer is much more desirable.

It's rare that a woman looks good with hair shorter than shoulder length. Even in the rare cases where she is attractive with short hair, she'd be more attractive if her hair was shoulder length or longer.

If long hair is afforded any extra points, then that necessarily means that there exists some woman A who hair-excepted is more attractive than woman B, but because woman A has short hair, woman B is considered to be more attractive. Another way to think of it is picture some hot woman in short hair, and then think about what aspect of her that you would accept being less in exchange for her having long hair: smaller teats? chunkier? more masculine chin? etc.

 

[MatureDJ]

**** test? Maybe but keep in mind some older women can't grow their hair long.

This old chick can:

 

[Who Dares Win]

Long hair are a sign of femininity which is why its men and old women to have short hair.

For a woman to cut her hair short is like for a guy to lose muscle mass.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Like you wouldnt have fcked Demi Moore "Ghost era" give me a break lol

I would have fvcked demi moore ghost version but as Donjanjr said I would have fvcked demi moore indecent proposal better.

Could say the same thing of myself, all my gfs that fvcked me at my 75kgs size would have fvcked me more willingly at my 80kgs size.

Short hair dont make a woman unfvckable as much as being skinny doesnt make a guy unfvckable, its just a matter of optimization.

Btw would have you match on tinder demi moore soldier GI Jane version?

 

[B80]

I would have fvcked demi moore ghost version but as Donjanjr said I would have fvcked demi moore indecent proposal better.

Could say the same thing of myself, all my gfs that fvcked me at my 75kgs size would have fvcked me more willingly at my 80kgs size.

Short hair dont make a woman unfvckable as much as being skinny doesnt make a guy unfvckable, its just a matter of optimization.

Btw would have you match on tinder demi moore soldier GI Jane version?

Agree with what you're saying. I would swipe left if I had no idea who she was as would think maybe she's been ill/unhealthy or has mental issues as what kind of woman would shave her head?

She'd either be physically or mentally ill, neither of which I'd want to get involved with for the issues/problems it would bring, harsh as that may sound.

In fact that reminds me of a friend who met a woman on a night out and when they went back to hers, she said theres something she needs to disclose and took her hair/wig off, lol. Totally freaked him out.

 

[Who Dares Win]

So whats the fcking point of the hair thing? What comes along with it when she is having sex with a guy. Is she agreeable? Which is a way better trait to screen for.
I dont like butch cuts either. Shoulder length is fine but this hair thing always got a chuckle out of me.

The fvcking point is that you cant take a celebrity that stays doable even when she self mutilate her beauty....the average girl once she cuts her hair lose so many looks point that goes below the minimun threeshold.

If chris hemsworth drop 10kg of muscle he is still a stud, if an average joe does, he no longer looks masculine enough for most women, its not that complicate.

Personally her behaviour comes after her looks, she cant be the most feminine woman in the world but if she doesnt match my minimum criteria (decently long hair are one of those along with tight hard asses) Im simply not turned on from her...guess they call it boner test?

All of this keeping in mind we all have different tastes and preferences, what seems no big deal for you may be for someone else like the husband in the article.

Agree with what you're saying. I would swipe left if I had no idea who she was as would think maybe she's been ill/unhealthy or has mental issues as what kind of woman would shave her head?

She'd either be physically or mentally ill, neither of which I'd want to get involved with for the issues/problems it would bring, harsh as that may sound.

In fact that reminds me of a friend who met a woman on a night out and when they went back to hers, she said theres something she needs to disclose and took her hair/wig off, lol. Totally freaked him out.

A woman that either cares so few about her femininity or is too lazy to take care of a long hair style surely doesnt push the right buttons in our instinct.

Its no coincidence that everywhere anytime women had longer hair than men beside woodstock parties or the current messed up culture.

 

[metalwater]

Women have two modes only.

one, trying to get you to like her.

two, not trying to get you to like her.

probably cutting the hair short is in section two. she KNOWS you don't like it but doesn't care.

a more insidious reason for the switch to short hair.
- symbolic cleaning, she did something bad

it's generally a bad sign unless it's really for health reasons.

 

[Who Dares Win]

That is a subjective opinion bro.
Opinions are not facts.
Some guys hump feet. I do not.
Learn the difference its a good idea

It all started cause you disagreed about my taste bro, now you tell me to learn the difference between opinions and facts...ok

If you wanna bang post wall short haired women be my guest, but dont be mad at guys who have standards.

Maybe when I'll be your age my standars will ease too, cant tell still but now it aint happening.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Wife: It's my body, my hair I can do whatever I want with it.

Husband: I agree. My body, my ding dong, I can stick in inside anybody I want.