Nicholas Hill
Master Don Juan
My second advanced tip ... not for newbies (Newbies will try this rather than the 3 second rule and will get really frustrated).
Nope, you did not read incorrectly nor did I make a spelling error. Its the thirty second rule!
The reason for the three second rule is so that you are forced to actually make a move rather than sit there and get a pancake butt. Being such the DJ as you are, you obviously don't have a problem with approaching any more, so you can throw away that rule, but maybe you have a problem when you actually enter the situation, simply because you haven't thought things through. Seems somewhat paradoxial doesn't it?
The 30-second rules applies to completely unpredictable situations, and it is all about simply investing some time before you do an approach in thinking about the general process.
It is not about thinking of a zillion possible outcomes, it is about visualising your success.
This is what athletes and boxers do. They know exactly how they're going to win.
Let's follow an example.
You see a chick alone sitting in a chair in front of you, and you have yet to sit down. You're obviously going to want to sit next to her if she's at all cute. You're fifteen minutes early for an event, so its unlikely that pondering will have any effect on the circumstances before you take action.
You can do one of two things:
1) Follow the three second rule and then go up and start saying things of the top of your head. You could mess up, but at least you had the guts.
2) Stop there and think in your head how its going to work. Keep thinking the same thing over: "I'm going to go to her, I'm going to make sure she sees me, then I'm going to say Hello and then ask her if the seat is taken".
You're establishing the course of events, and your instincts AT ALL TIMES for the interaction must concentrate on these steps:
Notice I haven't included any "lines" for you to say. You don't think of such specifics.
This is great, because you're "revising" what you are going to do over and over again until its solid in your head, and so that if you get lost (and how could you?), you'd easily be able to pick up the process. since you cannot get to the next stage without completing the previous.
But the real reason for this long time in thinking about how you are going to do things is the power behind handling things when stuff goes wrong. AFCs will try to plan by "scenario", but you've planned something with just a single trail of thought - in knowing how things should turn out.
For example, you go up to a girl and she hasn't seen you yet, and you've stood there for about half a second. An AFC is trying to remember this pre-planned scenario, but he has too many scenarios to remember so he gets all uncomfortable and does not end up with this girl's number (or address
).
But, being the DJ, you know that your plan is to "Get her to look at me" - Step two above. It's easy, say hi. Do anything to make sure that you accomplish that goal. Make her see you.
The reason the 30s rule works is also pretty sinister - You're rock solid on what you're going to do. You're a man and you'll be like a hunter working through this plan with zero tolerance for crap and hinderance.
Nick
Nope, you did not read incorrectly nor did I make a spelling error. Its the thirty second rule!
The reason for the three second rule is so that you are forced to actually make a move rather than sit there and get a pancake butt. Being such the DJ as you are, you obviously don't have a problem with approaching any more, so you can throw away that rule, but maybe you have a problem when you actually enter the situation, simply because you haven't thought things through. Seems somewhat paradoxial doesn't it?
The 30-second rules applies to completely unpredictable situations, and it is all about simply investing some time before you do an approach in thinking about the general process.
It is not about thinking of a zillion possible outcomes, it is about visualising your success.
This is what athletes and boxers do. They know exactly how they're going to win.
Let's follow an example.
You see a chick alone sitting in a chair in front of you, and you have yet to sit down. You're obviously going to want to sit next to her if she's at all cute. You're fifteen minutes early for an event, so its unlikely that pondering will have any effect on the circumstances before you take action.
You can do one of two things:
1) Follow the three second rule and then go up and start saying things of the top of your head. You could mess up, but at least you had the guts.
2) Stop there and think in your head how its going to work. Keep thinking the same thing over: "I'm going to go to her, I'm going to make sure she sees me, then I'm going to say Hello and then ask her if the seat is taken".
You're establishing the course of events, and your instincts AT ALL TIMES for the interaction must concentrate on these steps:
- Go up to her
- Get her to see you
- Say an opening line
- Make her agree to let you sit next to her
Notice I haven't included any "lines" for you to say. You don't think of such specifics.
This is great, because you're "revising" what you are going to do over and over again until its solid in your head, and so that if you get lost (and how could you?), you'd easily be able to pick up the process. since you cannot get to the next stage without completing the previous.
But the real reason for this long time in thinking about how you are going to do things is the power behind handling things when stuff goes wrong. AFCs will try to plan by "scenario", but you've planned something with just a single trail of thought - in knowing how things should turn out.
For example, you go up to a girl and she hasn't seen you yet, and you've stood there for about half a second. An AFC is trying to remember this pre-planned scenario, but he has too many scenarios to remember so he gets all uncomfortable and does not end up with this girl's number (or address
).But, being the DJ, you know that your plan is to "Get her to look at me" - Step two above. It's easy, say hi. Do anything to make sure that you accomplish that goal. Make her see you.
The reason the 30s rule works is also pretty sinister - You're rock solid on what you're going to do. You're a man and you'll be like a hunter working through this plan with zero tolerance for crap and hinderance.
Nick