Acted like a stupid drunk

[stacy2211]

I had three wonderful dates with a man who showed lots of interest in me. Unfortunately, on the fourth date, I got drunk when we went out and also went back to his place. I did not have sex with him but made it clear in a harsh tone that I would not be having sex when he asked me if I wanted to stay over. (He made no overt sexual moves on me before I said this). I also brought up ex-girlfriends of his and basically made a fool of myself.
When he dropped me off the next day, he was distant and acted disinterested in me. I still acted upbeat though and said I would talk to him later.
It's been a week and he hasn't called so I left a brief message on his machine apologizing for acting like an idiot and recognizing that this probably turned him off. If he could be willing to overlook it and try again, to feel free to give me a call.
Is there anything else now I can do to re-gain his interest?
I will not be contacting him again if I do not hear from him.

 

[blinkwatt]

Leave it,plain and simple. He has gotten your message,its his call. Try not to leave messages,it leaves the ball in the other person's court. Some may like to leave messages,I personally don't.

 

[In_the_Wild]

Yeah. I agree. It would have been better to call him back later than to leave that message Stacy...

But its all quite understandable. And if you talk to him again, dont be too apolagetic or begging.. Especially not in messages like that. It may sound like its overdone or "too much". He might be freaked by it..

Cheer up.. "There is no failure, only feedback", to qoute some guy on the forum..

 

[In_the_Wild]

Check your inbox!

 

[blinkwatt]

Yeah. I agree. It would have been better to call him back later than to leave that message Stacy...

But its all quite understandable. And if you talk to him again, dont be too apolagetic or begging.. Especially not in messages like that. It may sound like its overdone or "too much". He might be freaked by it..

Cheer up.. "There is no failure, only feedback", to qoute some guy on the forum..

You wouldnt happen to be quoting me quoting me would you?
"you never fail in life,there are only lessons to be learned."

 

[flippinfreak]

http://www.google.com/search?complete=1&hl=en&lr=&q="there+is+no+failure+only+feedback"

 

[Charm]

Just tell him that your past experiences put you on the defensive with him and caused you to act the fool. More importantly, say this, "I said some things I really didn't mean." That might open him up to saying, "Oh ya, like what?" to which point it's up to you to fix things. Be honest with him.

 

[stacy2211]

He called...9 days later

OK, I really need further input. The guy called me tonight (Tuesday at 10 PM) and said that he didn't understand why I left a message thinking I did something to turn him off and said that he had just as much to drink as me and that I did not do anything wrong. He also went into a long explanation of how he didn't get back into town until Monday and then had band practice both Mon and Tues night.
We talked for about 20 minutes and then I was like, OK... He then told me his schedule, and sort of non-chalantly (without much enthusiasam) said I go go out with him Thurs night when he meets some friends out. Like a dumb ass, I agreed to it and he said he'd call me Thursday to let me know what time he would be out.
My gut is telling me though that this guy should have called me sooner and that I was not on his mind the whole entire time. I also feel like he has the upper-hand and may be seeing others. My friends told me I need to let him go and not answer the phone when he calls on Thursday. (I have a feeling he's playing me). Just wanted some input from others if this seems like it is the case..

 

[brucevangeorge]

Input?

You screwed uo. You acted like a *****.

Try not to make the same mistake next time. There's nothing you can really do now. It's his choice.

To be honest, if I was him and you pulled that crap? I wouldn't even have called you.

Oh well. Looks like you're going to have to wait and see whether or not its repairable on your part.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Let's you and I have a short math class.

You have three entrances in which to be entered.

He has one thing on his mind.

That leaves two options, 1. You can let him keep twisting up your guts and let him clutter up your butter gutter. 2. If the brother has any sense he'll keep you spinnin' while makin' sweet love to his other plates.

The sum: You're fvcked either way sweetbaby.

 

[flippinfreak]

Anybody that visits a site like sosuave for any amount of time will know proper etiquette demands that a person reviews the basic stickies, they listen to the signs about not walking on anybody elses grass. Next time you come to a site that offers you help, I think it is best to introduce yourself, to make yourself welcome to the community.

I really feel like your pulling people strings by not being forthright with us about who you are, and what your experience is in the field. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders though, at least you know how to fit in with the guys with the way you put your words together.

My advice to you. Stop getting stupid drunk, unless you are willing to take the full force of whatever trouble you stir up. Don't leave babbling messages ever over a phone, nobody wants to get to know somebody who is disrespectful enough to dump them over the phone, so try not to cheapen apologies in the same fashion.

As for your gut feeling?

Listen to it. He'll call you on Thursday, your going to answer, your going to tell him what is on your mind, and your going to tell him to open up to you as well. You take control, because your the one who screwed up, now it is your time to fix the problem.

I have feeling, that all of your feelings, are just going to blow the hell up. You already had a lowered interest in the guy. You've got the time to find another one. You think your foolish for accepting his calls. Your stupid enough to listen to your friends tellling you to flake on the guy. What else do you want people here to say?

You really want us to tell you to go on a date with this guy? He may be a chump for all we know, with nobody on the side, but just generally undeserving of any luck, because he didn't take any chances. He may also be a player, he's got a different girl for every night of the week, plus phone numbers and a car to pick up a girl any time he would like.

Working from second hand information to judge a person is a waste. It is a waste of our time, and of yours. If we are right, we will never know, we won't benefit. If we are wrong, we get nothing, and you get nothing, so it's a lose lose.

What do I suggest?

I suggest you don't take this seriously. You like the guy? You can leave him alone, call him back tonight and tell him you aren't able to make it on Thursday, because you are scared. Tell him you are scared that he is playing you, telling him you want to be exclusive, because that is the only way to know that he is not being a player. Tell him that you think he is now uninterested in you, and that you want him to change that immediately, you want him to do a full 180 and start showering you with attention, good attention, because that is what you deserve.

 

[DanelMadr]

My gut is telling me though that this guy should have called me sooner and that I was not on his mind the whole entire time. I also feel like he has the upper-hand and may be seeing others. My friends told me I need to let him go and not answer the phone when he calls on Thursday. (I have a feeling he's playing me). Just wanted some input from others if this seems like it is the case..

Take a gut check. He is gentlemen enough to "forget" what you did that night and you accusing him of seeing others and playing games? What are you doing right now? Consulting your GAME PLAN with your friends and here Why your friends want you to flake on him? Now you have the upper hand, because he is acting like nothing happend, so you end it to feel "upper"?

COME ON:trouble: