Achieving the lifestyle you want

[Roly]

Hey guys, I currently work as a cook in this restaurant. I like it but man, I'm working some killer hours. There are many days that I have to stay there until midnight and beyond. I don't have that much time for my hobbies, passions and social life anymore. The only thing that is keeping me calm and cool these days, is my Yoga and Meditation that I do early in the morning and when I get off my shift. I like my job but I don't consider myself one dimensional, I have other things I want to work on such as Martial Arts, writing, playing my guitar,playing basketball, learning new languages and cultures, making amateur movies and working on my comic strips. I just can't do those things because I'm freakin working these killer hours just to make rent. It's really frustrating. I'd really like a lifestyle where I can combine all those into one. Any advice on how to do that?

 

[backbreaker]

do you have a roommate?

 

[Roly]

No, I live by myself.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

No, I live by myself.

Excellent, not too many guys are able to support themselves at an early age. What you're experiencing now typically doesn't happen until a guy gets closer to 30 but it's definitely something worth considering. You'll have to prioritize what more important to you, your livelihood or your lifestyle. Then you'll need to determine how to better manage the less important of the two.

 

[Vulpine]

The password is... "foresight".

You want that lifestyle? You need to knuckle down and sacrafice NOW in order to reap the benefits LATER.

I know we all live in a "want it all now" society, but, we also live in a society plagued with credit card debt.

Save. Save, save, save, and shun frivolity until you have stacks of cash in the bank working for you. Don't buy sh!t you don't need, don't buy sh!t you can't use, and don't blow your cash on things that you won't be able to enjoy tomorrow.

It sounds obvious when read, but it's completely foreign to many people in real life. Unplug yourself from the consumer lifestyle. Turn off the TV, turn off the radio, and stop exposing yourself to marketing. Walk away from groups of people talking about their new watches. Cut the tags off of your clothes. Take the emblems off your car.

Remove yourself from that "spend to impress" lifestyle, and settle into a "spend to exist" lifestyle.

Cash will stack up quickly when you do.

And, if you were a "MAN", you wouldn't care what other's thought about you ANYWAY, so really, it's an easy transition.

 

[backbreaker]

he's right.

get a roomate, cut down on your outgoing expenses so you can spend more investing and not living paycheck to paycheck. build a fondation, then move out.. unless you are forced out

I won't comment on the investing part.. I'm not big into bank investing... with my money I'd rather do venture capital investing if I had to choose something along thoose lines, but to each his own. either way you really can't go too wrong. Real estate, stocks and bonds, etc.

moreso than anything the best investment you can make IMHO is in yourself. a good book that you learn for pays for itself 10 times over

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Do you guy's realize how much having a roomate impacts your personal lifestyle?

 

[Vulpine]

Do you guy's realize how much having a roomate impacts your personal lifestyle?

You're absolutely right, FdA, but there is a "do what you gotta do" factor at play.

Hard work pays off.

And, cutting certain expenses, like half or all of rent, is a springboard to financial goals.

If I could, I'd be sleeping in my car and showering at the gym with a P.O. box for a mailing address: fux rent.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You're absolutely right, FdA, but there is a "do what you gotta do" factor at play.

Hard work pays off.

And, cutting certain expenses, like half or all of rent, is a springboard to financial goals.

If I could, I'd be sleeping in my car and showering at the gym with a P.O. box for a mailing address: fux rent.

I'd rather look for a higher paying job than having to share my living space. We talk a lot about not jumping into just any marriage for reasons of sacrificing yourself, how is this any different? You work hard to get a place for yourself and then you have to step back and share it with someone else, someone who's not doing anything but supplementing your living expenses?

[rant]
I want to drink out of my own milk carton, watch what I want to on television, see only my hair on in the bathroom sink, trip over my own sh1t on the floor and be able to know that my sh1t will be where ever I put it and not mysteriously move to other locations or disappear altogether. At least if you're married to the person you could be getting some trim from all of that but from a room mate??? I'd rather cut back on my own expenses to save money for the time being.

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO COME HOME WITH A WOMAN WITHOUT NEEDING TO INTRODUCE HER TO MY ROOM MATE WHO IS WATCHING A REAL WORLD MARATHON IN THE LIVINGROOM WHILE I LEAD HER INTO MY BEDROOM. I WANT THE FLEXIBILITY TO (PARAPHRASED FROM A FAMOUS EX-MINNESOTAN)

Do it in the kitchen on the floor
Or in the bathroom standing on the tub and holding on the rod
Or do her in the closet underneath the clothes
Or in the bedroom on the dresser with her feet in the drawers
Or In the pantry on the shelf guaranteeing that she won't get bored
Or on the pool table (move the sticks)
And put the 8-ball where it's sure to stick...
​

TRY TO DO THAT LIVING WITH A ROOM MATE WHO ENJOYS SITTING AROUND SMELLING HIS OWN FARTS!!! :cuss:

[/rant]

 

[Vulpine]

Good rant.

But, if your life is geared toward the future quality lifestyle, you can live without for a few years. This is all I'm saying.

Don't have crap to trip on is also what I'm advocating here.

Knick-knacks, dust collectors, fancy crap that will get wrecked/stolen/lost, and neat toys are for the future lifestyle.

A stereo, a bed, fork, knife, spoon, plate, pot, pan, and a closet. In fact, for $25 a month I'd be content to put the bed and stereo IN the closet and have 2 roommates.

However, I've lived in barracks, so I'm callous to the lack of privacy thing. So I see your point: my advice is a bit "extreme".

But FdA, this dude is young, and you are nearing the four-oh. So, your advice is a little "based on personal experience", wouldn't you say?

For a young dude, a minimalist lifestyle to start would be best, yes?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good rant.

Thanks, the medication is kicking in now....

But, if your life is geared toward the future quality lifestyle, you can live without for a few years. This is all I'm saying.

I can go along with that. However it may be as simple as finding a way to stretch your dollar. I can remember cooking dinner's with Ramen Noodles being the main dish.

...Knick-knacks, dust collectors, fancy crap that will get wrecked/stolen/lost, and neat toys are for the future lifestyle.

Agreed.

A stereo, a bed, fork, knife, spoon, plate, pot, pan, and a closet. In fact, for $25 a month I'd be content to put the bed and stereo IN the closet and have 2 roommates.

:nervous:

However, I've lived in barracks, so I'm callous to the lack of privacy thing. So I see your point: my advice is a bit "extreme".

Ahhh, makes sense.

But FdA, this dude is young, and you are nearing the four-oh...

:woo: DON'T SAY IT!!! :woo:

So, your advice is a little "based on personal experience", wouldn't you say?

Yeah, I got my first place on my own shortly after my sixteenth birthday. It wasn't difficult.

For a young dude, a minimalist lifestyle to start would be best, yes?

True. But an inexpensive studio apartment can be off the chain for a young single guys nowadays, especially when bringing a woman home. Akia can definitely be your friend.

 

[Vulpine]

True. But an inexpensive studio apartment can be off the chain for a young single guys nowadays, especially when bringing a woman home. Akia can definitely be your friend.

But a thrift store and some spray paint trumps Akia in this context.

And trust me, when a woman asks "This is cool, where'd you get it", when you answer "I snapped it up at a thrift store and worked it over a bit", it has a FAR BETTER impression than simply answering "Akia."

Shell out $25 for a milk crate from Akia?

Or, snag one from next to the dumpster and toss it in the dishwasher?

And, "inexpensive studio apartment" is a good idea. But, good luck finding one that is actually "inexpensive".

Don't get me wrong, I was living in a two bedroom by myself, and loving it because I had a den. But, I was also paying for it.

Sure, ladies were impressed when they found out I lived alone. But they weren't nearly as impressed as they would have been if they found out I was living alone IN MY OWN HOME.

This is my point. Some sacrifice will pay off. There are going to be some things you trade off for the sake of getting ahead. Present lifestyle versus future lifestyle you want. Break yourself now, kick back and enjoy later.

And THIS should be the OP's only goal: Get out of renter's prison.

Get a second job, get a roommate, and save like a person possesed by the monopoly guy.

 

[sparky0000]

I love how a bunch of dolts congratulate a guy for living alone when they don't even know where he is living!! Living in a tiny apartment in the suburbs is not exactly "the life". I would rather live with family than do that. Live with the parents and save. Nothing wrong with that. Another reason why America is hell for males. In most cultures there is nothing wrong with staying at home with your family.

 

[backbreaker]

You're absolutely right, FdA, but there is a "do what you gotta do" factor at play.

Hard work pays off.

And, cutting certain expenses, like half or all of rent, is a springboard to financial goals.

If I could, I'd be sleeping in my car and showering at the gym with a P.O. box for a mailing address: fux rent.

exactly

i would rather start living the life I want to live with a roomate and then venture out on my own than to never get the chance becuase I am living check to check.

not like he has much of a personal life now.. why not go back and try to build a foundation so he can have one?

 

[Vulpine]

not like he has much of a personal life now.. why not go back and try to build a foundation so he can have one?

Right.

Instead of fight it, go with it and accomplish something in the meantime.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I love how a bunch of dolts congratulate a guy for living alone when they don't even know where he is living!! Living in a tiny apartment in the suburbs is not exactly "the life". I would rather live with family than do that. Live with the parents and save. Nothing wrong with that. Another reason why America is hell for males. In most cultures there is nothing wrong with staying at home with your family.

So what does mom say when you tell her that you're bringing a woman over for the evening and that you'd like her to find someplace else to sleep for the night?

 

[Monster]

I love how a bunch of dolts congratulate a guy for living alone when they don't even know where he is living!! Living in a tiny apartment in the suburbs is not exactly "the life". I would rather live with family than do that. Live with the parents and save. Nothing wrong with that. Another reason why America is hell for males. In most cultures there is nothing wrong with staying at home with your family.

Of course it's so much better living on your own! How are you gonna bring home a girl at 3 am without waking your family up? How are you gonna throw some awesome parties if your parents are home? How are you gonna develop a sense of independence? At college I have my own apartment, and now that I am home for the summer, let me tell you this, I cannot ****ing wait till I get back to my own place again. It is annoying as hell living at home.

 

[backbreaker]

you guys really aren't listening

if you had the choice of being alone or with a roommate, all things being equal, you stay alone. No questions asked..

one small problem

ALL THINGS AREN'T EQUAL!!!!!

and they won't come close to being, until he makes a change in his lifestyle. he works too much, doing so mething he doesn't like doing.

I can see how some of you guys have made no improvements at all.. you are too shortsighted.. all you see is "he can't bring a girl home..."... and he's not brigning them home now because he works to much. why not not bring girls and save money at the same time, and then when you are making more or have enough saved up, THEN move out.

damn guys

 

[Vulpine]

I can see how some of you guys have made no improvements at all.. you are too shortsighted.. all you see is "he can't bring a girl home..."... and he's not brigning them home now because he works to much. why not not bring girls and save money at the same time, and then when you are making more or have enough saved up, THEN move out.

damn guys

Exactly, damn guys.

In the grand scheme of being a Don Juan, women aren't the focus of your life ANY-FacKing-WAY!

Improving yourself is the focus, not women.

So, "getting a place, with a roommate, so I'm better off later" is correct and self-serving.

And, "getting a place that women will like" is pandering to women, thus AFC.