ABUSED MY GF. BREAKUP. Get her back? Help!

[VikingKing]

Dude I dated an eastern girl for two years, from China though. She came from a rich family, but was low maintenance. She loved thrift stores. Its almost like she purposely wanted to make a point money was no important.

She was always respectful to me, except for the last 2 months.

She forgave me for being a d!ck, an alcholic, and drug addict constantly.

She spent more money on me, than I did her. She would give me her last dollar.

She treated me so well, it was almost stupid.

She had a facebook, but rarely posted on it. Often times, she would post pictures of me on her facebook, because for some reason when we went on a trip, or vacation, she was obessed with taking pictures of me.

I treated her like sh!t, and she treated me like an idol.

Once she even said to me in her little accent "you know in traditional china, if a womens husband dies, she kill herself" I said "Don't ever do that, you sound crazy, if I die you just live your life and be happy"

She was always very open with me, and I think she kept herself in check. Somtimes guys would ask for her number, or guys at work ask her out on a date, and she would report it to me, and make it a point that she said no. At her university, she would go to this place to get coffee, the guy kept hitting on her and asking her out, or for her number. She said to me "I'm not going there again."

A woman who cares about you, and is in love with you would never do anything to risk losing you. My ex could have not even told me about this stuff. But its almost like she felt guilty for being hit on. Or at least it appeared that way.

This girl does not care about you.

A woman who loves you will move mountains, or even sacrifice her life for you.

Your are getting played. Just accept that, feel the hurt, get over it and grow.

Fvck this ho.

 

[No.Danny]

Dude I dated an eastern girl for two years, from China though. She came from a rich family, but was low maintenance. She loved thrift stores. Its almost like she purposely wanted to make a point money was no important.

She was always respectful to me, except for the last 2 months.

She forgave me for being a d!ck, an alcholic, and drug addict constantly.

She spent more money on me, than I did her. She would give me her last dollar.

She treated me so well, it was almost stupid.

She had a facebook, but rarely posted on it. Often times, she would post pictures of me on her facebook, because for some reason when we went on a trip, or vacation, she was obessed with taking pictures of me.

I treated her like sh!t, and she treated me like an idol.

Once she even said to me in her little accent "you know in traditional china, if a womens husband dies, she kill herself" I said "Don't ever do that, you sound crazy, if I die you just live your life and be happy"

She was always very open with me, and I think she kept herself in check. Somtimes guys would ask for her number, or guys at work ask her out on a date, and she would report it to me, and make it a point that she said no. At her university, she would go to this place to get coffee, the guy kept hitting on her and asking her out, or for her number. She said to me "I'm not going there again."

A woman who cares about you, and is in love with you would never do anything to risk losing you. My ex could have not even told me about this stuff. But its almost like she felt guilty for being hit on. Or at least it appeared that way.

This girl does not care about you.

A woman who loves you will move mountains, or even sacrifice her life for you.

Your are getting played. Just accept that, feel the hurt, get over it and grow.

Fvck this ho.

Don't judge girls by words. A lot of you AFC have problems because you love these hoes.

 

[DonGorgon]

I know but I am crying right now I know it sucks but I love her a lot and its difficult for me to focus on anything right now I just ****ed up my diet for today and I am so ****ing sad right now. I gave her everything but can't she just come back to me for once and forgive me for doing that **** to her.

Sounds like you have a hard tome replacing her thats the problem.. age is a cheating lying ho and you want a good loyal female... move on and find that or accept how she is

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Yeah, she loves you so much.



Most of the time she is rude, goes through daily mood swings, has lots of guy friends, dropped some of them initially but then gave her number to one of them and lied about it, turns off her phone when she is "mad" at you....

I don't doubt that you are insecure, but this girl is not high quality at all. You are just going through the doubt that every man goes through when he dumps a woman. The fact that this woman will not fight for the relationship now shows that her IL in you was very low anyway, as does the above quoted post.


This girl is an attention wh0re and bipolar. You don't trust her. Neither would I. Haves some self respect. You are suffering from low self esteem, that is the problem here.




Yes, OP MADE his gf lie. He'd not allowed to have a relationship on his terms, he has to roll over like you do for scraps on the floor. No one forced this girl into a relationship with OP and plenty of women dont have such friends. OPs boundary worked to perfection, he just doesnt know it yet, because dumping a girl based on screening boundaries is HARD. I just did it myself. Beta's need not apply.

Blind leading the blind. At least OP, seems to have somewhat of a clue.

How to make a high quality gf (who was a virgen before she met YOU), leave you. How to turn a virgen into a wh0re. How to turn a once loyal woman into a cheater.

Lead the way Pairs.

Youre splitting hairs to be contrarian. Even if he KNOWS she is a virgin via biological proof, all my virgin friends had "cuddle buddies" and plenty of them were BJ/anal queens. You are a contrarian but you dont even have the experience to do it right, and it shows

Experience? Tell us about your experience. How are your relationships? How do they usually end? Why do they end? Is it because they're all wh0res?

Well, why did you go exclusive with all of these so called wh0res that you call your ex's?

They seemed like high quality when you initially started seeing them right? What happened? Where did it all go wrong? Nothing at all that you did. That's for sure. Once you meet a girl and you make her your gf she should be your mate for life? Is that it? Unconditional love and attraction? Even when you act like an insecure beta? Her attraction should go through the roof then right?

All you ever do is make NAWALT excuses. The reason she cheated on you was because she was a wh0re and of low quality. A good woman wouldn't have done that to you. NAWALT. What's the common denominator in all of YOU're failed relationships? They're all wh0res? Or could it be something YOU're are doing to drive these women away? Or if they are all wh0res, then why are you making them your gf in the first place? Or is that their fault too, that you made them your gf, nothing to do with YOUR screening process?

Make sure to blame everyone but yourself, you'll fit right in around here. This place is full of victims.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

you're no Socrates

This is true. I'm not speaking of theories, or throwing noodles against a window to see if they'll stick. I'm speaking from experience. What's worked for me and what hasn't. I'm not one to keep repeating actions if those actions that I've previously done have caused me to fail. There have been a few cases where the women I've chosen to be with our straight out of the loony bin. I got what I deserved in those case, or at least what I should have expected. However, to my knowledge, they still didn't cheat though, and no I'm not one to stick my head in the sand in that regard.

5 relationships, run the gamut of reasons why we broke up. Plenty were my fault, plenty were due to hors. Not sure what your point is, you seem to have a different assumption with every question.

My point is that I'm under the belief that the man is in control of the relationship. Or at least, he SHOULD be in control of the relationship. Therefore, if the woman cheats, or leaves him, then I feel that the MAN should have seen this coming, and/or that HE lost control and/or lost the frame somewhere into the relationship. (i.e. turned beta)

Now, CONTROL, in relationship terms, has different meanings for everyone. For ME it simply means being the MAN, the head of the household, having the stronger frame, even if the woman is making some of the decisions, or she thinks she's the one who's leading the way at times, in all truth it's the man who's letting her think or act that way, while he's still steering the ship from the back engine room. Control, to me, does not mean watching her every move, or telling her what she can or can't do, or snooping her facebook or private emails or phone. Once you go that route, I feel you have lost control. You have entered that slippery slope of insecurity and fear. Control, to me, is keeping your frame, keeping the attraction on high, to where she does everything she can to please YOU, because SHE doesn't want to lose YOU.... not the other way around. Being Alpha is going into a relationship with NO fear.

^this should actually come naturally to you and most men. And I feel it does, however what gets in the way, is insecure and jaded thoughts:

"Well my last gf cheated and I let her do whatever she wanted."

That is because you were blind. And you were beta. You let her do what she wanted, but you did not control what she wanted. You did not see that she wanted to bang other men, and not YOU. That was the problem. The problem wasn't that she wanted to bang other men, the problem was that she didn't want to bang you. She kept you as an emotional tampon and to have security and place to eat and get ready so she could go out and bang other men. YOU were her beta orbiter, but she gave, and let you keep, the TITLE of boyfriend so as to let you THINK you were someone special to her. She banged you, but not because she wanted to. It was at a a minimal, and as a means of controlling you. Then when you found out......she did not care, she got her use out of you. She already had many suitors lined up ready and willing to take your place.

So, now, for future relationships, the problem is other men. "If there just wasn't other men around, I wouldn't have to worry about her cheating." Let me tell you something, there's always going to be other men around. Always. In this day and age it's absolutely ridiculous how many options women have. Ridiculous. So, unless you're keeping her "barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen", there will always be a chance of other men coming into the picture. ALWAYS. So, that being said, telling her what she can and can't do will only last for so long. EVENTUALLY, she will get tired of it and/or decide it's not worth it and/or simply lose her attraction for you.

You: Me or your freedom, take it or leave it.
Her: I'll take my freedom.

You need to lead the way, make it so she WANTS to be with you. Make it so she doesn't WANT to be with any other men.

How do yo do that you ask?

I by no means have ALL the answers, but I do have quite a few of them. There are some good posters on here, who have had successful relationships, I'd start by listening to them.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

Just an update of what happened in these 6 years. We broke up next month after the last time we patched up. I did No Contact for 60 days. She tried to contact me through mutual friends. But I wasn't keen on getting back with her.

I became a Lawyer, got a house, nice car and I've been with around 7 girls(serious stuff) in last 6 years. I've had many one night stands and **** buddies during this period. And while reading these old posts I realised one thing that I was quite immature and this community changed me. The last thread I posted was in 2015. I don't invest much emotionally when it comes to dating. Its more like you make me happy i'll make you happy. Everything which I needed to get a girl was already in me and its already in you. Stay Natural. And keep your priorities clear.

 

[soulforge]

But I have said sorry now and even begged. What can be done now?

Unbeg?

 

[EvilSpirit22]

Unbeg?

Brother. This is a 6 years old post. Reflecting on how I used to be.

 

[soulforge]

Brother. This is a 6 years old post. Reflecting on how I used to be.

Weldone.. That's quite a transformation.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

Weldone.. That's quite a transformation.

Yeah. Its all about self love. I can now get girls even with a fat tummy. I focused on building a life and then allowing people to be a part of my life. Just dumped a girl today.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

Let her go. Think of the monkey trap. The monkey gets trapped because he won't let go. If you'll be content to chase her for the rest of your life, then chase her. If you want a woman you don't have to chase, and don't need to kill yourself to please, then stop chasing women. Let her go. You don't need her back. Just be the best guy she ever had, starting now.

Read my last post brother. 6 years old thread.

 

[MountainSlide]

I abused my gf because she talked to a guy who was a great friend of hers and she knew her since last 7 years and that guy had all her old numbers and came to know that he was like a brother to her.

I called her a ***** and abused her to the extent that she started crying and promised to never come back and she said she can never move on.

I apologised and almost begged her to come back but she says she hates me and has started talking to other guys on facebook but I know she's addicted to me.

What can I do to get her back? Because I know it was my mistake that I couldn't control my anger.

Help! I love her a lot. We have completed 7 months. And after every fight she was the one to call or text me first but this time its been 2 days and she hasn't called.

I called her at night I know **** move. And said sorry.

Bro. Your sucked out of your frame and acting like a pu**y. Quit acting so feminine or you’ll never get her back.

mistake 1) acting jealous
mistake 2) begging
mistake 3) getting sucked into a feminine frame [it’s obvious from your post].

I just read the thread I guess you’re back together. Try not to make these mistakes in the future.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

What happened to her?

 

[Spaz]

She turned into NAWALT.

Haha

You do realise that AWALT and its only a reflection of who he was at that point in time.

A woman changes in tandem with the values/quality a man projects.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sure sure, had to crack a joke.

Women are like Harvey Dent's coin, except one guy gets always cute face while the other...well...

The other, medusa

 

[zekko]

I abused my gf because she talked to a guy who was a great friend of hers

For all the alleged misogyny that goes on here, it's pretty rare that someone says that they abused a woman. Not many are willing to admit it, I suspect.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

What happened to her?

The last time I heard about her from a friend was in January 2016 I guess. She got pregnant and had an abortion. And in August 2016 she tried to talk to me on facebook "as a friend". And said that you were the best guy I ever had and even today I love you and if someone talks **** about you then I fight for you. And I said something like- Its ok you don't have to fight for me anymore because I won't do that for you either.

Asked me what I was doing I told her about my work etc she even asked how much do I earn and was shocked when I attached a picture of the cheque I received that day which was quite hefty. She said yeah I knew you would do something big in life and all that crap.

The same girl while breaking up with me in 2014 said that I can get a better guy than you. Better in looks, wealth and intelligence.
And I quoted the exact same dialogue. And she said sorry I was not in a good head space then.

So yeah.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

For all the alleged misogyny that goes on here, it's pretty rare that someone says that they abused a woman. Not many are willing to admit it, I suspect.

Verbal Abuse.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The last time I heard about her from a friend was in January 2016 I guess. She got pregnant and had an abortion. And in August 2016 she tried to talk to me on facebook "as a friend". And said that you were the best guy I ever had and even today I love you and if someone talks **** about you then I fight for you. And I said something like- Its ok you don't have to fight for me anymore because I won't do that for you either.

Asked me what I was doing I told her about my work etc she even asked how much do I earn and was shocked when I attached a picture of the cheque I received that day which was quite hefty. She said yeah I knew you would do something big in life and all that crap.

The same girl while breaking up with me in 2014 said that I can get a better guy than you. Better in looks, wealth and intelligence.
And I quoted the exam same dialogue. And she said sorry I was not in a good head space then.

So yeah.

The last time I heard about her from a friend was in January 2016 I guess. She got pregnant and had an abortion. And in August 2016 she tried to talk to me on facebook "as a friend". And said that you were the best guy I ever had and even today I love you and if someone talks **** about you then I fight for you. And I said something like- Its ok you don't have to fight for me anymore because I won't do that for you either.

Asked me what I was doing I told her about my work etc she even asked how much do I earn and was shocked when I attached a picture of the cheque I received that day which was quite hefty. She said yeah I knew you would do something big in life and all that crap.

The same girl while breaking up with me in 2014 said that I can get a better guy than you. Better in looks, wealth and intelligence.
And I quoted the exam same dialogue. And she said sorry I was not in a good head space then.

So yeah.

And you were in a much better space after she left. Its interesting that the world taught her. It usually does.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The last time I heard about her from a friend was in January 2016 I guess. She got pregnant and had an abortion. And in August 2016 she tried to talk to me on facebook "as a friend". And said that you were the best guy I ever had and even today I love you and if someone talks **** about you then I fight for you. And I said something like- Its ok you don't have to fight for me anymore because I won't do that for you either.

Asked me what I was doing I told her about my work etc she even asked how much do I earn and was shocked when I attached a picture of the cheque I received that day which was quite hefty. She said yeah I knew you would do something big in life and all that crap.

The same girl while breaking up with me in 2014 said that I can get a better guy than you. Better in looks, wealth and intelligence.
And I quoted the exact same dialogue. And she said sorry I was not in a good head space then.

So yeah.

Well good on ya. Looks like she missed ‘the one’ lol