A woman's personality.

[confusedstate]

I seem to like one type of personality in particular...a woman that talks about literally "anything" with a guy...where it's like talking with one of the guys...you can literally explain game to the girl (if she doesn't know the specifics of what you're talking about already, which she probably does) and she'll talk about it and not use it against you.

I have an online friend (she has a bf and works at a bookstore in town, says I can come in anytime and see her as long as I keep it casual)...cute...I'd say 7, kind of looks like that girl from the Gilmore Girls only younger...we talk about everything from her previous sexcapades, to her preferences, to my preferences, the dating game...she listens to my problems, not the other way around...she's like a less outgoing Elaine from Seinfeld.

I'm wondering how common these types of women are from the board's experience? (in the 6-7-8 range)...total no b.s., some women stuff, but no game-playing and mostly straight-talk.

The fact is, I'm just not good at playing the game. I don't have the social ability. I can't "fake a connection" with a woman on a first date then get her in bed and pretend like it never happened. I don't have it in me, and I don't have the capability to pull it off even if that were me. I do better when things are genuine and both people are enjoying the convo...even if it isn't a serious relationship...and I also enjoy down to earth women.

 

[Boilermaker]

I find no reason to talk or explain the "game" to a girl.

You use the game to get the girl, and then you talk about stuff that you are actually interested with the girl.

Are you into this chick? If yes, make a reasonable test of her IL, it seems that you are in the LJBF zone and she continually extracts attention from you in return for nothing. and, frankly, attempting to explain the game to her to seem cooler and smarter than his ACTUAL boyfriend who nails her at his pleasure IS pretty AFC and lame.

There's a reason NEXT is the most common word you get to hear in these forums.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yes such girls do exist, but talking openly about the game and your dating/sexual experiences is a one-way ticket to friendzone. Women generally won't date a guy like that for several reasons:

1. You are now viewed as a guy that kisses and tells. She knows she can't have discreet sex with you now.

2. Some women may find the "game" topic fascinating like we do. But they secretly look down on guys that have to "run game.". In a girl's mind, you either are an attractive guy who naturally gets girls with little effort or a loser that needs to use tricks to get the occassional lay. Women will never understand or appreciate how difficult it is for even an above-average looking guy to get girls today.

3. If she reveals her sexcapades to you, that is another sign of friendzone. She won't discuss this with a potential hookup or dating partner out of fear of sounding sl@tty and turning him off.


I know it's fun to talk about this stuff and tempting to do so with women, but nothing good can come of it. I would even be reluctant to discuss it with a female friend, since I have yet to meet one that understands confidentially.

Lastly, listening to her sex stories doesn't serve you. Sure it's fun, but it becomes a crutch, like free porn. The problem is it reinforces that she is having sex, just not with you. Instead of getting your own p@ssy, you end up living vicariously through her. This is bad for your confidence.

Anyway, I hope that didn't come across as harsh. I just wanted to warn you because it's a trap I used to fall into.

 

[confusedstate]

Well in my experience, online anyway, the woman won't tell you where she works if she isn't interested on some level. If the girl is AWing, she'll give you just enough attention to keep you coming back, but never actually want anything to do with you.

This girl also dates AFCs and not-so-go-looking guys. She even admits that she wishes a better looking guy would hit on her, and she thinks I'm reasonably good looking. I just haven't had the time to go into the city yet and meet her.

Another thing, this woman is the quiet, shy type. She didn't even understand how if a guy is with a cute girl, it boosts his status. She's not "aware" of this stuff, so it's not like she'd judge in the first place. She's a "loser" herself, just a good looking one.

I agree btw that there are certain women that if they even knew you were on a dating advice site would think you were a loser...I avoid those types. They're fairly easy to spot just by the way they dress and carry themselves.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Tell her to meet you half way when you meet up. Give a location and meet. Do something low key, so movies/dinner/lunch out of the question.

If u like this girl act fast to get a meet-up or you'll be in the LJBF zone fo sho.

 

[confusedstate]

Tell her to meet you half way when you meet up. Give a location and meet. Do something low key, so movies/dinner/lunch out of the question.

If u like this girl act fast to get a meet-up or you'll be in the LJBF zone fo sho.

The one thing I learned with online game is that you have no "hand" in the situation until the woman meets you. If she meets you and likes you, then the power is turned over in your favor.

Her workplace isn't too far from me, and it's quite casual (a bookstore)...it's just in the big city. I have no problem going there, just need to find the time.

She has a bf at the moment (just got together a few days ago), do I act like it doesn't bother me, I mean continue to hit on her?

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Dude you are heading uphill fast and you will come rolling backwards.

"she is a loser herself, just a good looking one" was a quote I saw from your post.

I have been in your situation before (although real-life encounters), where a woman will be very open, sometimes even in her distaste for her present relationship. If you think you have a chance with her, I am sorry to inform you that the odds are against you.

"I never date any of my guy friends" was a quote from one female friend of mine, whom I was madly in love with, and still fall back into some BS traps at times (even recently kicking myself now).

Look--if she's talking to you like her female friends, that's how she views you.

I have not yet discovered how to be "open" with a woman and for her to still desire me sexually.

It seems as I become more "open", she merely highlights more of my weaknesses and faults and further finds differentiation in her mind.

This is hard to do, as we are all humans with our present weaknesses, and working towards our greater strengths.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Dude let me say this is an uphill battle and you need to release your sexual interest in her and free your time.

Here are my reasonings:

(a) you said in this thread yourself, "she's a 'loser' but a good looking one"

(b) she has a boyfriend and talks to you openly because she considers you one of her female-friends.

(c) you are crushing on her and hoping the strength of your "ability to talk about anything" will create a deeper bond than she has with her boyfriend and she'll move towards you.

I have been down this road man. I still struggle with it. I have certain female friends who for some godd4mned reason I still entertain at various points in my life. Trust me on this--they will not fall for you. She enjoys the attention, probably enjoys the conversation, she may think you are a good person, but she's not day-dreaming of humping your bones or being your wife.

At least that's my best hypothesis.

/edit -- and if you are able to control your feelings or your understandings, than by all means be friends with as many females as possible, but once you go down the road of "she has a boyfriend but we really get along", you are risking a long psychological battle in which you will be both the victim and the loser...

 

[confusedstate]

The stereotyping on this site is unbelievable, and I'm not one of those "women are innocent" guys either.

This isn't a woman I think about day and night. She's just some girl I've been talking to on the net for a couple weeks. The reason I have no "hand" is because I haven't met her yet...of course real life guys are going to mean more to her.

She dates AFCs and nice guys...her ex is some crazy "nice guy" with bi-polar that flipped out when she didn't feel any physical attraction for him, tried to convince herself that it could change and bought her presents, threatened to kill himself if she left him, then when she dumped him, he said "Don't f*** with me" and threatened to blackmail her. Her new bf who just sounds like the flavor of the week is one of those emo guys with a colored mohawk.

I do agree with the basic concept that if a woman is telling you about her relationships and b*tching about them and asking for advice, then you're the safe friend. We just talk to each other about our lives in general.

If when I meet her, there isn't any sexual tension or flirting, that's a completely different story...but if anything, I plan to use her weaknesses against her. She said a really cute or hot guy has never approached her in public or at work...she thinks she only deserves AFCs because she views herself as inferior. I can use that to my advantage since I'm a good looking guy with knowledge of the game.

 

[rossejolley]

Well, adding my views i would say that a woman who can hold a conversation, not mature enough to handle criticism, honest enough to tell the truth without hours of fluff to appease their guilt. A woman who supports, and a species that is selfless enough to sacrifice time that could happen if you can work with objectives that complement your relationship with flowers. A woman who is smart enough to understand the difference between love, lust, friendship and good wishes.