A woman who understands...

sky

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I'm going to post this from time to time as inspiration to those who are still having a hard time finding what they're looking for. Not sure if this forum is appropriate, maybe it belongs in "Anything Else." Feel free to move it.


What Every Man Wants
by almost ©
There are articles in abundance on what women want and need. There was even a movie recently, with Mel Gibson, about our secret feminine thoughts and desires, men spend hours trying to figure us out and what we need, but do we try to figure them out? You don’t see many about what men need and want, and they can be as mysterious to us, as we are to them. All women think they need to do is, rope ‘em, hog tie ‘em and throw ‘em in the barn…well men ain’t cattle girls, they know how to open that barn door even if we get them in there.

Usually all you read is bitter accounts by angry cold women, about why men aren’t worth much, and how to avoid the ones who may not be easy to catch, complete with titles and types and assessments of why you don’t want one like THAT… Well, ladies, I catch them…and if you want a good one, well, you better start figuring out what he wants or you aren’t going to get him, let alone keep him. My men are trying to figure out how to keep me, not escape me.

Every woman knows men are into chemistry, although what it is, is a bit unclear. What it is is sex appeal, it is, they want to appeal to us sexually, and for us to appeal to them sexually, is really all that is, it’s not looks or weight, or height or make up, it’s how we look at them and how we make them feel, if we make them feel like males, deep inside, they’re attracted to us. They’ll admit to that readily enough, but to get inside the mind of a man, to learn what it is that makes him choose to stay and commit? That’s the secret ladies, they have to want to commit to us. Most of us can all do enough to get them to stay for breakfast at any time. It’s keeping hold of them that’s tough. And to us, we want that commitment and they know it, but many of us want it because their paycheck comes with it. They want their money’s worth, and that is fair, girls, it is. They aren’t about to tell us this though, because they know we can be determined and devious. The line the bride sings walking down the aisle, of “Phew, I”ll never have to do THAT again!” Is a little too often true. They want truth and beauty, not to be a victim of some woman with a need for income. They believe in love more than we do at times.

Men hit about 35 and begin to wake up to a silent urging to procreate and nest, they reassess their life in the wild, and begin to consider settling down, they get as broody as any woman does. Or if they have procreated and nested, they begin to feel the urge to stretch their wings and fly, to seek out more, and feel the wonder again. Men aren’t one dimensional, is part of that, they need both, passion and comfort, home and freedom and sensuality, they’re really somewhat simple, they’ll give us everything if they can just be a star in their own lives. That’s really all it takes. That and they want an interesting life. Give them that, and they’ll line up to commit to who ever gives it to them.

You’ll hear wives lament and whine that he’s cheating on her, but what you don’t hear is why he is, and it’s not just some younger body, it’s… she’s interesting and the wife isn’t. The wife has become dull and boring, and to her, all life is about is vacuuming the house now, and she yells at him and whines at him, just like she does after he flies the coop! and he’s tired of sleeping with the maid whose got attitude, who’d want to sleep with a bad tempered tyrant!

Half of that is she berates him, it’s never enough, take out the garbage, fix the car, when are you going to mow the yard, she becomes this chore monger, another boss, so he has two jobs, not a home and a career. And she only lives to do chores, herself, he earns, he works, he takes second place in his own life, he is the gadget man, the vacuum cleaner with a mind, the guy who keeps life orderly for us, and not much else. The kids matter more, and Little League does, hey, girls, if they did that to US, we’d leave, in a second! And do. We’d never put up with working all day and handing over our check only to come home and get yelled at? And she wonders why he left?! Someone was nicer to him is why, and she wasn’t…You can’t keep cows in the barn if you leave the door open, ladies! Get a clue wifey, you weren’t what he needed, you were too busy making cupcakes to notice him, you said no fourteen times a week? And you didn’t keep your buns firm or your underwear sexy. You bored him into leaving and you berated him for not liking you that way. And you follow it up with insulting him after the fact that he’s shallow, and he has the problems! So were the cupcakes for the bake sale really THAT important? Cause you sure act like they are!

Men want fantasy, they want entertainment, they want the princess we are, they want the fairy sprite, the little girl in us who dreams, they want eternal youth from our INSIDES, but they also want the slut lurking within us all, they want excitement and to fly, and then land safely, they want to be our wings, our angels of destiny and if we deny them that part of us, if we refuse to go with them or let them take us on their flights of fancy, they lose, but so do we, all we are is housekeepers then, neither queen or *****, and not their partner in life either, we become grounded as the world moves on without us. We just exist to make dinner, when we could be going on exotic trips and living a life of dreams. We choose to be dull and boring, and then whine they don’t.

Classic sex symbols, from Mae West to Madonna, from Liz Taylor to Brittney Spears, are women men dream of, women of passion and fire, women who are playful and adventurous and have a natural sexuality. Men, dream of a nymphomaniac in their lives, or at least one who can be one at times? They want to be cherished, and adored and worshipped, and they should be! They want to be teased and pleased and played with. They want a playmate, a friend and a confidant. They want a woman who makes them proud, who their friends go WOW, where’d you find THAT one, you must be a stud huh? To keep HER! It’s a man thing, it’s pride, its competitiveness, it’s what makes them happy…its what makes them manly, ladies, if you want him to be more of a man, be more of a woman!

They want a princess to provide for, they want a woman who sparkles at them when they do things for her, and sighs and coos. They want her to be pleased, and surprised by their efforts to win her and appease her. They want to chase her and feel her give in to them. Ladies the guys want romance, not pink lace, real romance, the kind with feeling, the kind that has candlelight and soft music, and sighs, they want the longing glances and the deep involvement. And we sort of end up handing them Chef Boyardee and saying What’s your problem? Well, gosh, dinner from a can, might be some of it, the Dog eats dinner from a can, and we pet the darned dog at least? Or I pet mine, but maybe my dog lives better than your man does too? Consider that. That’s sort of sad isn’t it, for him.

They want her to be glamorous at times, slinky and sexy. They want her to be natural at times, and able to get ready in less than an hour, they want her in baseball caps and jeans, as they sit and fantasize about how hot she was last night, and watch her looking like a tomboy now. They want her to like their bodies, and revel in them, as males, to act like a greedy sexual creature who can’t get enough, at times, as well as listen to their thoughts, and try to make their dreams come true.
 

sky

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They want her to be all the women in the world at once, pure and innocent, devilish and dangerous, squirmy and high spirited, needy and soft, nurturing and comforting, and sexually awake and aware of sensual pleasures. They want the mother in us, the sister, and the slut, they want us to be as multi-dimensional as they are. They want the lady in the living room, the ***** in the bedroom, and always have. Be that, and able to carry on a conversation about something other than yourself and your interests, and they will all eat from your hand, with pleasure.

And if we give them that, they really don’t care if we make dinner, or vacuum, they’ll do it, they’ll hire a maid, or they’ll take us out to dinner! Trust me on this, ladies, I don’t do housework! I do keep my passport handy just in case. It takes so long to go back for it, is why, we may miss the flight! I go places, I do things, I get taken out, and away, and I love that I do, they carry my bags, they open doors, and they buy me things to please me! And they call later! I love men, and it shows, and they love me right back!

They don’t want to hear, oooh, yuck, and no way, and you’re kidding, I’m not doing that! They want her to blush and go really? You want me to do that, for real, and try it…they want us to tell them that things feel good, and why, and how to touch us. They want to please us so we do go out of our minds with pleasure. They want to know what we think, but not about the sale at the grocery store, to them it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t! Who cares if lettuce is twenty cents less, like change matters? Now if you could do something sexual with that lettuce they’d want to know about that. They want to be pleased, surprised, seduced, coveted, treated with awe, and worshipped, that’s all! They want to be on a pedestal, just like they put us on one! And for that, they will give us everything they have, can find, can earn and look for more if it pleases us. We become their goddess, but only if we make them our gods…

I’m sexual, very…I like sex, I like a lot of it’s aspects, I enjoy exploring it, and adventuring in it. And there are men, who don’t like it as much as I do, that prefer quieter realms and softer ones, there are compatitble types, there are. But they still crave the sex, the affection and the bonding, and they have to have it ladies, it isn’t about they physically need, it’s how they express themselves to us, if we would only learn to listen! It’s their language, it’s primal, it’s instinctive and it holds them totally in its’ thrall, when we deny them that, they have to go looking, it’s male. They cannot survive without it, and neither can I.

I like a lot of different flavors in life, from the spicy to the sweet, to the hot and ice cold, salt and vinergar to sublimely mild. I like tastes, I like feelings, I like emotional intercourse, which by definition is communication. When we bond together in physical unity we can’t hide from each other, we allow each other inside us, and to me, life without that is pretty boring.

Changing our approach is so easy, it really is. When we join that exercise class at the gym, instead of whining about the effort and expecting to be praised, all we have to do is strip down and show them our behinds daily and say, “What do you think, is it getting smaller, is it getting tighter?” And they love it, and smile, and go hmmm, some, come over here, let me check closer. Then it becomes, for him, we work out, and then they’re more than happy to share it…they’ll check our progress with glee…and insist we take more classes, if they get to be part of it like THAT?

If we make dinner, add candles, dress for him, cook in just an apron for heavens sake? Want him to take out the trash more? Stand there naked. Wear a thong…and say, Like this? Well, as soon as I take out the trash? If I’m still in this mood…the trash is gone, girls, never to be mentioned again…if he forgets? Wear that same outfit…he will learn fast…see thong, take out garbage, get some, it’s like electricity to men. They’ll move so fast and while they’re out there, they’ll put your car away and close the garage door, they do not want more interruptions! As in phew, got her mind on me finally…I got to keep remembering that trash, or yikes she’s gonna find someone who will! Men learn so much quicker than we do. It is just about motivation, use that, there is no You forgot the trash again, oh no, he won’t forget…every day for six years, he’ll remember the naked woman saying I’m gonna take out the trash now…like his own private pin up girl.

And kids? Oh right those anti-romance creatures, uh, feed them early, put them to bed, they’ve had you all day? Daddy’s turn. Get a sitter, trade with a neighbor down the street, you keep mine tonight, I”ll keep yours tomorrow night…just give that man, some of what he needs, he’ll be happy! He had the kids, he loves them, just once in a while, he wants to play with the grownups too. And it doesn’t hurt the kids to be told, Mommy and Daddy are going to play together tonight, it’s our turn. You guys are going to bed early so we can. Give you Dad kiss now, night night.

And if I hear one more woman tell me she’s tired, in this day of electric appliances and television, here’s my answer…you will be more tired if you work all day and come home and then take care of the kids and have no one to help. Take a nap, plan it, don’t wear your self out dusting once in awhile, schedule your man like he matters! Quit whining, once women made the soap, spun the cloth, plowed fields, baked bread, ground flour, knit the socks, and still had the energy to kiss him hello and wrap her arms around him when he walked in, so what is your excuse? The dishwasher door was so heavy to close you’re tired now? He worked all day, he’s tired too! And all he wants is a cuddle and a squeeze and a big smile to see him and to cop a feel, like that’s hard to give him? Uh, give it to him ladies, or know, someone else will.

Men need several things, acceptance of their masculinity, pride in their existence, self esteem, love, affection, sensual pleasures, credit for their contributions, titillation and warm welcome, and to be important in their own lives and for that, they will give you everything they can gather to honor you and please you, they’ll lay anything at your feet, if you just treat them with respect and admiration.

It’s our call girls, it is…and it’s ok with me, if you don’t want to wake up to it! Cause your husband takes me to Mexico while you’re busy at the PTA meeting, and I like going on trips to exotic destinations…and being treated like I’m important and wined and dined and catered to. You can do the PTA if you want? It’s ok with me!

Doubt me? Ask any man.
 

darkofthematinee

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maybe it is, but its also the truest thing I read this week... If only more women got their act together!
 

Survivor

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The post is a bit wordy, but still has a relatively mature and intelligent theme. I'll keep it here and see what responses it gets.
 

ShortTimer

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I emailed this to a friend and his reply pretty much sums up what I think:

She makes good points, but there's a couple of problems -- 1, she still thinks everything (for a man) revolves around sex, and 2) she's suggesting that women do this not because it's the right thing, but because it better serves the female interest. Yep, it's still all about them.
 

sky

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True shorttimer, I think she does play up to women by inferring that to get what they want they should do these things, rather than telling them what to do because it is right.

However...

Many women aren't going to do the "right thing" no matter what. It's almost a part of their nature to lie. If it weren't, there wouldn't be so many posts on things like "********". Or the ever popular, "she said THIS, but she did THAT. What do I do?" type of post. Here's my point...we're logical...they're emotional. Any attempts to give them logical, right vs. wrong solutions to a problem are not going to work EASILY. They're always looking for men's "hidden agenda." So scared of being taken advantage of by a man, they can't make right vs. wrong decisions anymore.

This article virtually tricks them into doing something they think is self serving. Once they are doing it for a while, the selfish part will fall away. They'll be wrapped up in the emotional give and take of their newly happy relationship. They won't be able to fake their way though this. Eventually it will become a part of their personalities. Why?

'cause they're women.
 

sky

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Oh yeah...she touched on the things that men want other than sex.

"They want a princess to provide for, they want a woman who sparkles at them when they do things for her, and sighs and coos. They want her to be pleased, and surprised by their efforts to win her and appease her. They want to chase her and feel her give in to them. Ladies the guys want romance, not pink lace, real romance, the kind with feeling, the kind that has candlelight and soft music, and sighs, they want the longing glances and the deep involvement."
 

WestCoaster

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Not sure if this woman exists

Sounds almost too good to be true, and this woman does get it. I noticed on the message board replies to this site from where it was taken (I read this two weeks ago) that all the women were mad ... typical.

Women get more bonus points than they realize. They think it's all about their freakin' make-up, when it's about more than that.

Last night I went out with a pretty average looking gal (we've gone out a few times) and she starts talking about pro baseball at dinner and suddenly she has me hooked! After I dropped her off I kept thinking about her, and she's not off the charts looks-wise, but nice enough ... the baseball elevates her tremendously.

If she starts talking about college football and soul music I'm getting a ring!
 

DJmonster

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All women should read an article like this.

to sum it up for me. I want a woman who makes me feel masculine.

The number one way for women to do this, is by giving a man their trust. A woman that trusts her man doesn't nag him, because she trusts that he is doing his best. She doesn't give him advice, because she trusts that he will come up with the right decision on his own, and he will ask for advice if he needs it. She doesn't give him a checklist, because she trusts that he will remember things. Everytime a woman nags or reminds or gives unwanted advice, her man is turned off because he feels like she doesn't trust him to do his best or make make the right decisions.

Women think they are loving a man by being so helpful and caring, but they don't realize that men need a different kind of love than that. They need trusting love. When a man recieves this kind of love, he feels empowered, and will naturally radiate back the kind of caring love that women need.
 

WestCoaster

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Great stuff Monster

That ought to be in the DJ Bible. Very well put. Nagging comes from distrust, you're so right. I've never really thought of it like that.

My best friend is getting nagged and he's a great father, provider, class guy ... quite a catch, his wife did as well as she could in marrying him. Yet the nagging goes on, so much so that he's contemplated divorce. Who wants that stuff?

But his wife is in one of those "women's groups" which sit around once a week and complain about their husbands/boyfriends. Once that happens, you could be Bill Gates and they'd still find flaws. Women can be incredibly picky and negative at times ... even when things are going well. They like to create drama.

* I used to live in Oregon; where do you live?
 

DJmonster

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I'm in Oregon City right now, but I'm just about to move up to Washington for the summer.

One thing your friend could do is read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and have his wife read it too. (it's way cheaper than marriage counseling) I'm no expert on relationships or anything, but I got great insight about what a man needs vs. what a woman needs, and I know the book is renowned for that. I made my girlfriend read it, because she was starting to really turn me off after we'd been together for five months (backseat driving, reminding me, a little nagging). She's very glad she read it, and she is treating me more like a man everyday. In turn, I'm very glad I read it, because I am treating her more like a women everyday. For example, when she complains about something at work, I now give her an empathetic ear instead of a solution spraying mouth. This is tough to do; its in a guy's nature to solve the problem, but women need caring and understanding, not solutions. Your friend could be the best provider/father/class guy, but that isn't enough to fulfill a woman's emotional needs. If he can fulfill her number one basic emotional need of feeling cared for and understood, then it will be easier for her to give him his number one emotional need of feeling trusted.

As for your friend's wife's "women's groups" He should be thankful she's in one, because without being able to vent, a woman will explode! :p
 

WaterTiger

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Re: Not sure if this woman exists

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Last night I went out with a pretty average looking gal (we've gone out a few times) and she starts talking about pro baseball at dinner and suddenly she has me hooked! After I dropped her off I kept thinking about her, and she's not off the charts looks-wise, but nice enough ... the baseball elevates her tremendously.

If she starts talking about college football and soul music I'm getting a ring!
I wonder if she had the same HS history teacher I did? See, he was also a football/baseball coach. To help out "The Lads", his extra credit test questions were always about current sports. I got in the habit of reading the sports pages every day to get the extra credit...I still read the sports page. I get a perverse amusement when I stun random men by saying: "Yes! I did see the game! Wasn't that 4th inning a blast?" So much fun seeing their jaws drop!:p

:D THANK YOU COACH MCPADDEN!:D
 

WestCoaster

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Hey WT ...

... I posted a question for you on this forum if you can find it. It was yesterday and you've been pretty elusive. I thought you would've answered it by now.

I think it's in the marriage thread down low ... don't worry, I'm not proposing. But I am wondering ...
 

WaterTiger

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Elusive? ME? I'm on this board nearly every day! I'll go look for you're question.

;) You aren't proposing? :( But...but what about the great honeymoon I had planned for us! Gone are the satin sheets...the candle light...the apricot jam. :p ~SIGH~ West Coaster, you're such a heartbreaker! :D
 

WestCoaster

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Semi-figuring this computer stuff out

WT, your private message deal isn't activated on this board.

As a DJ and to impress the fellas on this site I'm supposed to say, "Whatever man, I'll wait 25 years until you fix it, not my problem, I'm a play-a!" ... Hey guys, how's that for DJism? Now give me some props!

Instead I'll say, tell me when that's activated and I'll try and see if it works.
 

WestCoaster

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WT, I passed Computer 101

Hey WT, I finally got through Computer 101 and activated my private messaging and actually sent you one.

This marks the end of my public pursuit of WT and now it is taken to private messaging. Sorry guys, but you will no longer be able to live vicariously through me and see my awesome DJ skills in action! :>)
 

WaterTiger

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Originally posted by Hollowpoint
Can someone help me and hand me my eyes? They're rolling away.
Wear shades :cool:
 

gentleman193

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wrong forum

This is "The Mature Man" forum -- not the "How to Hook a Man" forum. That's why I said "wrong forum."
 
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