A way to beat social anxiety, and shyness, and the fear to approach, AFCs wanted!

[G0gL2000]

Alot of the AFC's on this board are really just unsuccessful becuase they suffer from some form of social Anxiety. I beleive social anxiety is an obstacle many must overcome in order to be successful with women (not all guys have this problem). Alot of guys on here are afraid to approach and talk to women, and that is a big reason why they are AFCs.

I feel that something needs to be done about this. Some kind of method needs to be created that can help AFCs that come on here overcome this problem once and for all. A method that can beat social anxiety and the anxiety of approaching women.

So I have decided Im going to dedicate my self to a little project that can be a great acheivement to this board and as a section in the DJ bible for begginners. Im going to try to develop a method that can overcome the fear of approaching women and social anxieties (I beleive the two are intimately connected together)One of the first things a recovering DJ must do is overcome social anxieties and the anxiety to approach women. If he cant do that, all the other information of "use kino" "do this, do that" that the DJ Bible teaches is useless, becuase he wont have the balls to apply it. SO I feel this project is really important, and is priority number one for any newbie on here.

THe first thing I want to do is get together a bunch of guys from this board that suffer from some degree of social anxiety/fear to approach women/shyness. If your shy, you have social anxiety, are afraid to approach women, then I need you for this project of mine. I want to study these guys, and try to figure out what makes their fear tick. And then come up with multiple methods that can beat it, then test it on the volunteers I get from this board with fear problems, and see which one works the best, and then finalize it as a sure fire way to beat the fear to approach and talk with women, etc.

SO ANYONE WHO IS SHY, IS AFRAID OF WOMEN, OR HAS ANY KIND OF SOCIAL ANXIETY PROBLEMS, PRIVATE MESSAGE ME ASAP SO I CAN GET TO WORK ON THIS.

This will be for the good of what this board was designed to do..help guys beat their problems of getting women.

 

[Ever onward]

You're new here right? Have you checked out the DJ Bootcamp? I think it sounds identical to what you are proposing.

 

[G0gL2000]

No, Im not new, Ive been on here for quite a while, Im quite ancient.

This is just a different screen name. Anyways, Iveread the DJ bible, and that is exactly why I am doing this, the DJ bible does not have any method that can kill these anxieties. Sure, it has boot camp, but that only works on normal people. It does not work on people with social anxiety, or extreme shyness, or an anxiety of women.

And Id say most AFCs have anxiety problems where as guys who naturally arent AFCs, just guys who need to work on their skills dont typically suffer from any anxiety problems. Most of the people who need the DJ bible are AFCs, and the DJ bible and Bootcamp are not designed for socially anxious people which most AFCs are. And this is my biggest problem with it.

I feel like Im the garbage man of this board, figuring out this method to beat the social anxiety and fear to approach is a dirty job, but somebidies got to do it (me)

 

[AlwaysExcel]

It's a good plan to tackle social anxiety AND anxiety of approaching women together. If you just focus on social anxiety it's easy to just talk to everyone BUT women you're interested in or talk to hot women with just the goal of defeating social anxiety ie. gaining a new friend---very unsexual.

I'm not sure that you'll be able to come up with one good method that works for all the guys. I suspect that they'll have different personal reasons for being afraid. Maybe the solution will have to be very general, like embrace your fear by purposely creating your nightmare scenario. I did that recently and it has been initially successful but I want to test it out some more before making a report.

 

[Ever onward]

Anyways, Iveread the DJ bible, and that is exactly why I am doing this, the DJ bible does not have any method that can kill these anxieties. Sure, it has boot camp, but that only works on normal people. It does not work on people with social anxiety, or extreme shyness, or an anxiety of women.

The DJ Bootcamp starts out having a person make EC and say hi to strangers and then progress to having conversations with strangers. This seems like a method for overcoming social anxiety using baby steps. What could be a more effective or simpler way to cure social phobias than getting people to make EC?

I feel like Im the garbage man of this board, figuring out this method to beat the social anxiety and fear to approach is a dirty job, but somebidies got to do it (me)

It seems as though you take this issue (social anxiety) personally. Have you suffered from it and if so were you able to overcome it?

BTW, Yesterday Gunwitch posted some kind of downloadable guide dealing with some of these issues. I haven't downloaded it yet, have you had a chance to check it out?

 

[J.C.]

A) read what's out there on social anxiety (SA).
B) then you will see that there is no "do this" cure. SA is due to a combination of: genetic chemical imbalances in the brain, the way the current society wants every boy to mirror a macho role model, the ****ed up upbringing SA people received from their parents (who also had bad genes and upbringing).

c) The flawed chemistry can be alleviated with drugs, like Nardil, Paxil, and other beta blokers, SSRI's, MAOI's etc.

 

[slipstreamer83]

Drugs? Come on. Upbringing is critical here, but not drugs. If they were, anyone who suffers depression should take drugs too, and people recover without drugs.

 

[G0gL2000]

Bump

ALSO, IF ANYONE IS REALLY SHY WHEN IT COMES TO APPROACHING GIRLS, ALSO LET ME KNOW, IM NOT JUST LOOKING FOR (SA) PEOPLE. Private message me ASAP.

 

[lizardfloyd]

i suffered with social anxiety for years. still got a little SA, but a lot of it is gone. I think mainly my SA was due to being overweight and not having any luck with women at all. i went on an anti-depressant for a while and i think it kinda helped.

I couldnt even go to the mall without havin that feeling that every girl that walked by me was thinkin "geez, he's ugly" or "god, he could really lose some weight". But the weight is gone, and thanks to this site and a couple others it helped boost my confidence. I still don't have any luck with women though. but im tryin my damndest.

I guess you could say that im still pretty shy, especially around women. But ive always been the quiet guy, who never says that much. i dont have problems makin friends with people, i have a ton of friends. But not that much luck with women. But im gonna study the DJ Bible like crazy before i transfer to the univesity im goin to in a month. Cuz, i'll be madder than hell if i cant get with a girl up there. 60% women to 40% men, come on!!! And my good friend is in the coolest fraternity on campus. The fraternity that has the best lookin girls come over to their parties. Hopefully he'll hook me up with a girl, but im still gonna need to know the "instructions/skills" to make it happen. Or it'll be like a kid gettin a brand new car and not knowin how to drive it.

I think i could have easily gotten with two girls this past semester and a girl i worked with, but i can't read the signals and signs women give off that they might be interested in me for squat. And im still workin on approaching women. I work at a popular restaurant that has a ton of girls come in all the time. But the shyness part and approaching part still gets the best of me. I guess it gets the best of me because of the times that i've been told "let's just be friends". Everytime i heard that it ripped a huge chunk of confidence out of me.

Anyways, i think its cool what you're doin.

 

[G0gL2000]

Im not just looking for SA people, Im also looking for normal people who are just shy around women only. Any people who are planning on starting boot camp/would need boot camp are a good candidate, PM me ASAP. I got a good plan that could create a whole new system that could replace the current bootcamp method that will also work on the extreme SA cases. Right now, boot camp only works on normal/non SA people. I like the idea of the current bootcamp, I jst think it has flaws in it, and needs to be tweaked.

It also needs to cover basic social skills. Again, alot of AFC's that come on here also have bad social skills. THey dont know how to carry on a conversation with a stranger; guy or girl. I think boot camp needs to focus on that, becuase these asexual basic skills also apply to when it comes to getting women. I want to focus on that too, not just social anxiety and fear and approaching.

I aim to:

-develop a new boot camp method that can help even SA people overcome their fear of approaching hot women.

-incorporate some kind of system that builds basic asexual social skills, like carrying on conversations, etc. The material on conversations in the bible is very poor. I think before anyone can even start using the DJ stuff, they need to build up themselves basically first. Just basic social skills, and basic abilities like being able to approach and interact with strangers comes first.

Also, some guy emailed me alot of info about SA and the brain, he seems to know alot, im impressed by it. He wants to help me out in this. So we will be working together on this. This is a big deal, and something good to go to this board, a major improvement.

 

[G0gL2000]

bump

 

[So Many Ways]

This is interesting.

I still have problems approaching women, even though carrying conversations with people and being social is not really a problem. Even last night, there were two women walking to the left of me that my buddy pointed out and I wanted to say something, but I couldn't think of anything.

Personally, I think one of the main problems that those of us that get nervous and crash and burn every time we try to talk to a female is overanalyzing everything, you know, trying to think of something to say, trying to look cool, whatever. Another problem is not knowing what to say. I've decided that the next time I'm in a situation such as what I mentioned above, I'll just say something like "Hey what's up, where are you headed", just something simple. I'm not going to overcomplicate things by using some sort of canned opener or sophisticated routine.

I also read the gunwitch article about approaching and I thought it was helpful.

 

[Ever onward]

I also read the gunwitch article about approaching and I thought it was helpful

I read that article too. Gunwitch said something to the effect that guys who get nervous approaching make it too complicated because they can't keep everything straight and don't know what to say. He says that beginners should first focus on the approach itself and later on, once the anxiety is under control, start focusing on techniique and results.

G0gL - I wish you would be more specific about this plan you have developed. When are you going to "reveal" it to the board?

 

[So Many Ways]

Originally posted by Ever onward
I read that article too. Gunwitch said something to the effect that guys who get nervous make approaching too complicated because they can't keep everything straight and don't know what to say. He says that beginners should first focus on the approach itself and later on, once the anxiety is under control, start focusing on techniique and results.

G0gt - I wish you would be more specific about this plan you have developed. When are you going to "reveal" it to the board?

Yeah, Gunwitch's article really simplified the whole process for me and it actually made sense. I'm going to try it out and see how it works. I'll keep yall posted.

 

[G0gL2000]

G0gt - I wish you would be more specific about this plan you have developed. When are you going to "reveal" it to the board?

Okay, so here is my plan.....

I feel that we need to get the basics down. Something alot of people dont have a good handle on. Thus is the stuff that you have to have before you can even begin to apply the DJ stuff. If you cant approach a woman, then all that DJ stuff goes right out the window. If you have bad social skills, and cant even keep small talk going or even keep an interaction going, all that DJ stuff goes right out the window. THe basic stuff is sooo important, and I think it is what is screwing over so many AFC's and casuing alot of frustration for people. Alot of us werent blessed with these essential social skills, let alone lady skills.

So this is what the goal of this plan is, to develop a method or system that can build up these basic social skills in people. The ability to approach a woman, the ability to start small talk with her, and keep it going, and have her open to you, even though your still a stranger to her. etc...

Social anxiety is a big obstacle that is undermining the ability to approach a woman. Bad social skills is why alot of guys dont know what to say, or how to get small talk going, and how to get her to be open to you. THese are all just basic social skills, totally asexual. You have to start off with the basics before you can move onto the DJ stuff.

So my plan is to get together a bunch of people from this board who are really shy and have SA, and I want to study them, and come up with methods to rid SA. THen I will actually test out the methods on the people I get from this board. I will divide them into groups, and have one gruop try one method, and another try another method. And then compare average success scores to see which method actually works the best. Then release the method publicly. SA is a major focus, becuase its a major disposition that alot of us have that prevent us from having the essential basic ability to approach and talk to a stranger.

Another focus is social skills, Ill also come up with a way, somehow, hopefully, that can help us be better at knowing what to say, and get small talk going.

Im also working with a partner on this, hes really smart, and knows alot about SA and the brain, together, we will get this done. I just need some SA people from this board to volunteer.

If anyone else has any ideas on how to contribute to this, feel free to PM about it. Any SA people, please PM me.

 

[dice]

this is my main priority that im working on in my life right now because i know before i can get a girl im gonna have to become more social and unboring. I am usually pretty quiet no matter who im hanging out with, due to i am constantly trying to think of what to say next and my voice is dull and monotone. I end up putting myself to sleep with horrible conversations I have with people. It's to the point now where I don't even want to talk to people cuz i know im going to bore them as well as myself. Anyway, I have some insecurity issues that im workin on so im in for ur experiment.

 

[bootlegger]

I always felt like I had SAD(social anxiety disorder). But really all that I had was a lack in self confidence.

In the past 2 years, I've hit the gym 6 days a week, have a good diet, learned how to dress, learned how to groom myself better, and I have to say, I no longer think I'm even remotely shy now. And it's all b/c of my confidence level.

 

[G0gL2000]

bump

 

[G0gL2000]

Bump

 

[AFCinBC]

Hey

I do suffer from some social phobia's and sutch would appreciate the help but I dont check on old posts mutch if your willing my AIM is EndersBunBun and White_Rabbit@blazemail.com @@