a thougtht on the nice guy

[joekerr31]

heres a thought guys...

a nice guy is not an AFC. too many "honest" guys think they are nice guys cuz they f*ck over.

an honest guy will get f*cked over by a dishonest woman. an honest guy will be treated like gold by a good woman.

a dishonest guy will get f*cked over by an honest woman and treated like gold by a dishonest one.

too many guys on here (more the general board than mature board) think that being nice will get them screwed over. It will only get you screwed over if you are choosing dishonest women.

afc, ironically, to me, is actually the guy who is dishonest, but more with himself. he refuses to see when he's getting screwed over and refuses to do anything about.

so instead of afc versus non afc, i think the categories should be:

honest and afc
honet and non afc
dishonest and afc
dishonest and non afc

im beginning to think that both men and women fall into one of these four categories.

to many guys who arent really afcs throw away their honest traits figuring "its all a sick twisted game. everyone plays dirty so i might as well also".

the only folks who ever truly find love, in my opinion, are the honest non afc guys. so don't through away your integrity guys in a misguided step to treat your afc symptoms.


J

 

[Jamo]

sorry dude

I wish you were right.

When people talk about "nice" guys - they are the type who would do anything to keep a woman/get her attention - to the point of having no spine.


Being a nice guy is definately not good (Honest + AFC).


Being honest is different. You do what you say, but you also don't tolerate sh1t - you are honest about that too.

 

[RedPill]

There is so much debate on this site about what afc means and doesn't mean. It's discussed ad nauseum.

My characterization of afc is simply "the habits and mindsets that lead to failure." With this, an afc would be one who routinely experiences failures in life due to poor thoughts and bad habits. This could be in any area of life, although here at sosuave the common thread is men's failure to create sexual relationships with women.

honest and afc
honest and non afc
dishonest and afc
dishonest and non afc

Joekerr you bring up a good point about categories of people. Too many assumptions and labels are made on posters by other posters here, and it creates a lot of unproductive conflict (i.e. flame wars). To expand on your idea, I think that as one becomes a more mature individual, they follow a path of growth that sees them take on personality characteristics as you described them. From personal experience, and from observing others, I've noticed that the evolution from adolescent to mature man seems to follow a pattern similar to the different groups you laid out. Here's how I see the progression:

dishonest/afc ----> honest/afc ----> dishonest/non-afc ----> honest/non-afc

Part of what I do for a living involves developing people personally and professionally, so this thread got my attention, as personal development is the driving force behind these message boards. Without being over-analytical here, the point of this post is to suggest that the forums here would be monumentally more efficient if more posters would recognize that everyone is at a different stage in their own personal development and has different goals. This would go a long way toward reducing the number of pointless threads about marriage vs. lifelong playerdom, self-improvement vs sarging 24/7, pua vs dj, and of course the "modern women are all hors!" threads. I'm sure everyone here knows people who are mature beyond their years, but also that guy who more resembles the 40 year-old virgin. To each, a different objective.

The dishonest/afc is weak and immature, and needs to take a good look in the mirror before anything else.

The honest/afc is the recovering chump who's finally waking up and smelling the coffee. He needs to learn to be more social and lose his fear of strangers and approaching women.

The dishonest/non-afc no longer accepts failure and has morphed into a pick-up artist - able to start relationships but not able to grow them beyond sex because they aren't honest about what they want out of life - with themselves or their women.

The honest/afc is a self-actualized man who seeks out mature women.

I know this post may sound a bit like it's categorizing everyone. Everybody's life situation is different. I just think people would get a whole lot more out of this site if they recognized where other posters are in life. Everyone likes to talk about the "glory days" on this site, when most of the bible posts were produced. If more posters directed their energies toward helping everyone evolve personally, instead of toward arguments about what one's goals should be, many more would benefit from visiting here.

RedPill