Hi guys been looking at the site for a while found some awesome tips but i have one big dilemma... I've been talking to this HB8.5 for a while now and I really like her. I even took her to my semi formal dance last week as my date. Problem is before I came to like her she began to love another guy... Anyways I expressed my feelings toward her and she told me now wasnt the right time and that she was in love with another guy who isn't interested in her. After that we stayed really good friends txted everyday with her mentioning this guy every once in a while asking for tips on how to get him. I helped her for a while but then told her I couldn't do it anymore because I still had feelings for her. She apologized and now I am where I am txting her daily and just in the friendzone. I am afraid to make a move or anything because I know she loves this other guy... All of our convos are dull but I feel she's interested because she's starting them... Should I keep pursuing her? If so how?
A Situation...
- Thread starter YourMan
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NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
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You're in the classic, dreaded friendzone. Personally I dont know much about getting out of them. I dont have any experience in doing it might be what Im trying to say.
What I do know is that if you continue doing the same thing, you will get the same result. Stop doing what you're doing. Stop answering her texts, just answer a few that you feel will up the attraction. You must change, cause she is not attracted to the current you.
Go for other chicks too. Not only does this increase her attraction, but it also gives you more options, which makes you less outcome dependent.
A freeze out might be a good idea. Atleast give her less attention for a while, but dont make it seem like you're drifting apart.
Use sexual innuendoes, increase kino and eye contact. Get her to think about the idea of you two together (Dont say it direct, or verbally).
Thats all I can think of.
What I do know is that if you continue doing the same thing, you will get the same result. Stop doing what you're doing. Stop answering her texts, just answer a few that you feel will up the attraction. You must change, cause she is not attracted to the current you.
Go for other chicks too. Not only does this increase her attraction, but it also gives you more options, which makes you less outcome dependent.
A freeze out might be a good idea. Atleast give her less attention for a while, but dont make it seem like you're drifting apart.
Use sexual innuendoes, increase kino and eye contact. Get her to think about the idea of you two together (Dont say it direct, or verbally).
Thats all I can think of.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
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Thats a negative.
Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
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Focus on other stuff, this isnt a game where you pretend to ignore her; its reality, where you're too busy doing stuff you find more important.
I'm gonna be blunt here. Not trying to sound attacking (I've seen a couple posts on the HS Forum get out of hand).
She's not interested in you. Don't look too much into her texting you first. You are so deep in the friend zone now, that whatever her texting you means, it isn't what you are hoping for.
You tell her your feelings, and her response is that she has feeling for another guy that doesn't like her. If she liked you, she would be jumping at the opportunity to move on to someone else. Instead, shes either choosing to be exclusive to, well.. nothing..... or she used it as an excuse to let you down easy. Hint: it's the later.
What really screwed you over was helping her when she asked for advice getting another guy. DON'T EVER DO THAT! Not only did that put you so deep into the friend zone, but you probably gave away some of your ideas you could have used on her yourself. You became the person she can come to when she wants help with OTHER guys. Meaning, she won't be coming to you for you.
There is a reason why being in the friend zone is so hard to get out of. Especially when your game isn't completely on point. Any "moves" you make at this point aren't gonna be "cute" or "funny" or "sexy". They are gonna be "weird" and "awkward" because of where she has placed you in her mind. Her guard is down, but not because shes open for you to move in. More because she isn't entertaining the idea of it at all.
It is also a tough situation now, because the best way to make your move will either work, or probably end your friendship. And that would be a lot of what NorwegianDJ mentioned; freeze out for a while, sexual innuendos, kino, and SPENDING YOUR TIME WITH OTHER GIRLS.
I can't stress that last one enough. You need to show her that you aren't some stuffed toy she can carry around that will respond to every text and answer every call just because she wants the attention. The best way to do this is to spend your time with other girls that are interested in you as more than just friends. It will show your worth as more than her emotional tampon, give you a chance to work on your game, and maybe most importantly: get your mind on some other people. That is your best bet for her attraction to grow, and if it doesn't, you then have other options and you simply won't care nearly as much.
She's not interested in you. Don't look too much into her texting you first. You are so deep in the friend zone now, that whatever her texting you means, it isn't what you are hoping for.
You tell her your feelings, and her response is that she has feeling for another guy that doesn't like her. If she liked you, she would be jumping at the opportunity to move on to someone else. Instead, shes either choosing to be exclusive to, well.. nothing..... or she used it as an excuse to let you down easy. Hint: it's the later.
What really screwed you over was helping her when she asked for advice getting another guy. DON'T EVER DO THAT! Not only did that put you so deep into the friend zone, but you probably gave away some of your ideas you could have used on her yourself. You became the person she can come to when she wants help with OTHER guys. Meaning, she won't be coming to you for you.
There is a reason why being in the friend zone is so hard to get out of. Especially when your game isn't completely on point. Any "moves" you make at this point aren't gonna be "cute" or "funny" or "sexy". They are gonna be "weird" and "awkward" because of where she has placed you in her mind. Her guard is down, but not because shes open for you to move in. More because she isn't entertaining the idea of it at all.
It is also a tough situation now, because the best way to make your move will either work, or probably end your friendship. And that would be a lot of what NorwegianDJ mentioned; freeze out for a while, sexual innuendos, kino, and SPENDING YOUR TIME WITH OTHER GIRLS.
I can't stress that last one enough. You need to show her that you aren't some stuffed toy she can carry around that will respond to every text and answer every call just because she wants the attention. The best way to do this is to spend your time with other girls that are interested in you as more than just friends. It will show your worth as more than her emotional tampon, give you a chance to work on your game, and maybe most importantly: get your mind on some other people. That is your best bet for her attraction to grow, and if it doesn't, you then have other options and you simply won't care nearly as much.