A sad DJ : Please Read

[nan3109]

My g/f moved 104 miles away this morning to Eau Claire, WI to start college. I live in the Twin Cities, MN.

We went out for about 9 months and are still together because we both are basically madly in love with each other. We talked time and time again about the situation and we agreed that I would visit her on one of my 4 days off a week from college.

The only problem I see is that her and I were soo incredibly and deep for each other that when she moves we may feel so apart or distant from each other that the pain would cause us to break up.

In response to that kind of talk she wrote me a letter which I wasn't supposed to read until she left. This letter said "I miss you already, I love you very much and remember that although I may not be as close to you now as I once was, just remember that it doesnt change how much I love you."

She also gave me this long poem about love and holding onto your love no matter what.

Also, she comes back for a full month during her winter break from college, a full week or more during spring break, a couple days for thanksgiving and valentines day, and also she'll be back here in MN during the entire summer break.

It seems weird after she left today. I still fool myself by thinking that if I pick up the phone I can see her within 20 minutes if she just drives over and we can be together.
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Originally posted with AngelDove SN, please reply to this post anyone with comments or suggestions.

 

[nan3109]

I'm mostly wondering how I should handle the situation. Just act as if she's still living close and just call her up and ask her to hang out and drive 1 hour and 30 mins or so there and hang out with her at her dorm or take her out on the city?

The only bad thing is that she doesn't have her car. I'm not sure why but I know someone who lives with her there could possibly drive her back and her parents would too when she's "homesick" as she puts it.

 

[sux2bu]

A sad DJ? Sounds more like you are reverting to an AFC. In fact, I'd say that you're circling the AFC blackhole of no return.


You need to pursue some hobbies other than her. Know what? You're setting yourself up for disappointment down the road with that mindset you currently have, and you can take that to the bank. You are at HER mercy.. Not a good place to be. College changes girls' in a way that you're about to find out. She's not going to be the same girl you "fell in love with" when she graduates. I was in the same situation that you're in with a girl that I thought was "the one." Don't take it personally, just take a hint.

 

[Knicknack]

cry them tears now... these things usually end badly. seriously you should start pursuing other girls and testing them waters. you know she will...

 

[nan3109]

I told her "your gonna be meeting alot of new guys in college whether you like it or not, are you sure you want to persue this LDR?"

and she told me that "I have someone I already love. Why would I look for someone new?"

 

[davelmn2003]

Give this guy a break. The girl is even more "AFC"--writing him a love letter and a long poem.

If I were you I would keep this fire burning. Is there no way for her to study closer to you or vice versa? Did you guys talk about her/your college choices??

 

[spanky]

Originally posted by nan3109
I told her "your gonna be meeting alot of new guys in college whether you like it or not, are you sure you want to persue this LDR?"

and she told me that "I have someone I already love. Why would I look for someone new?"

Nan, fire up them hobbies my now, buddy.

Aren't you going to college?

Eau Claire isn't that far from the twin cities.

Man, college is the time to explore so she just won't be meeting a lot of guys..........

Really, man, if you guys stick together through four years of college, get married and have kids and live happily ever after, that would be cool.

But LDR+long distance+collge+young = very tough relationship to maintain.

Like I say, it will be cool if you guys can keep it up but the odds are a monster.
At least entertain the thoughts of you two dating others. Just entertain them for now.

 

[nan3109]

Meh, I have hobbies.

I'm start to get over the grieving/denial process.

Now I'm just moving on with my life but still thinkin of her.

I don't doubt that this will work. She told me she's gonna be making more girlfriends than guyfriends also.

I mean, look, that other post is right. With the sappy poems and the "i love you no matter what" letter with her picture there's no doubt that something good should come out of this.

I'm gonna be done with college in 2-3 years actually because I go to community college for Dental Hygeine degree (who make 20-30 dollars an hour roughly).

I actually took this ring from her that she always wear (she let me have it as a momento when shes not with me). So I was thinking of getting her one too. I want to ask her to be my fiance so that when I'm done with college in a few years that we can be married and I can move to WI and work there and get a place so that we can live together around her campus area.

 

[nan3109]

Well, the only way moving would work is

a) she move here and have her credits transfer which is apparently very difficult to do considering they're from a differ state

b) me move there and go to a community college for dental hygeine


Which is more likely to occur? B! Meh, I know, but community college I could find one much easier than her finding a college that'll accept ALL her credits in MN.

I'm going to visit her Monday, and then prolly Thursday next week. I'm trying to go 2 times a week, then maybe 1 time a week when school gets hard (in community college, that is only when finals come every 4 months)

 

[Walden]

Man it isn't AFC to actually care about someone.

Spanky's right, if I'm feeling heartbroken I take my rifle out and go kill something, that always cheers me up.

 

[Walden]

Let me clarify.

I mean Deer.

 

[Jimbo2k]

Well, from seeing a sibling go through this, I can tell you there is definite hope. My sis has been dating this guy for 2.5 years now, and most of that has been him living 2 hour drive away. They see eachother as much as you claim you will see your Gf...of course my sis is 22, and her bf is 25 - so a little more mature I guess you could say, but still wanted to tell ya its doable. Goodluck

 

[dionysius_d]

long distance can be stressful.. and stuff your grades.

to be honest, she sounds like she's saying 'goodbye'.. that's just the feeling i get.

sometimes a relationship can be deep and good for a period of time.. just look back on it and enjoy it for what it was.

ultimately its up to you , but remember there are more fish in the sea.. and also when the cat is away, the mice play.

 

[nan3109]

The last thing she told me before i left out of her car was "Promise me.... promise me that you'll come and visit"

 

[Knicknack]

lol you don't ask someone to "be your fiance." it's called asking them to marry you. to that absurd idea, i direct you to www.nomarriage.com

 

[seulaxplaya]

i read the first two lines and decided not to waste my time reading it. Same thing happened to me but i was with the girl for a year and half. let me save u tons of gried and prevent u from wasting ur time in arguements. just tell her that it would be easier to just seperate until a further time. So end it on good terms. Thats one thing i didnt do.

 

[nan3109]

So. would it be wise to end it and only "go out" when she comes back during her winter/summer break?

 

[davelmn2003]

don't end it Nan. If you end it out of fear that it is not going to work then it is like committing suicide because you're afraid that you're going to die. Let it take its course. If it doesn't work out, it won't, but what if it does?