A rock and a hard place!

[uly55]

I'm in a tough situation that may end any chances of me dating any women in the future or for a long time anyway.My mother has been diagnosed with emphysema and needed a full time carer.I have taken this position as her full time carer.This means that I look after her nearly 24 hours a day. I can get some time for myself maybe once or twice aweek.But basically I'm stuck at home all the time. My sister can look after her sometimes so that I can go out.So to get to the point......Am I gunna be able to date anymore?

I have cut down my work hours to 3 hours a day and the government gives me a payment, so moneys not a problem. Are women going to be interested in a guy who looks after his sick mother?

It's a shame this happened now, as 6 months ago I was a guy with no confidence, and no girls even remotely interested in me.Now after studying the DJ site, I have more confidence and more women than ever taking notice of me.Now this has happened.

I have two women that would date me forsure and more that are interested! The One at Jeans shop, gave me all the green lights, but I didn't close the deal because of this situation.

Stopping being the full time carer for my mother in not an option, as I would be dead if it wasn't for my mothers actions to save me when I was a Kid.So I'm returning the favour.

It's looking very grim for my dating stiuation. So any Ideas Guys?

Uly

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Wow, tough situation. but it's surviveable, you just need to learn to adapt.

Ok, couple of thoughts.

You have to be able to carry out some sort of a normal life. If you're caring for her 24/7, then you don't have a life yourself.
Is there some way that you can make more time yourself?

What were your school and career plans prior to this? What do you plan now? Can you do distance learning/home study courses?

You need to work on a timetable so that you know when your free time is. Do you have enough cash to hire a nurse for 3 days every few months so you can take a long wkend? That will help. Knowing your free time will also help you with dating scenarios.

I believe that women will respect what you're doing, particularly if they see that you haven't given up on your own future by continuing to study, etc.

Check the web, I'm sure there's a BBS like this one for people who are full-time carers, spend a couple of hours searching for that.

Maybe some more later, but there's some stuff to think on. Don't stress, you have options.

Osc.

 

[Reto]

I sympathize for you....

My Dad died of emphasema. Mom took care of him.

It's not as bad as you think. Mom did get out of the house. Left dad alone. She would work/volunteer at the local hospital on fridays, go to church, the grocery store, etc...

Once you get into the swing of things, you'll find times when you can leave.

It just sux. It's a horrible disease... Just hang in there and be patient...She's lucky to have you...

 

[isotope]

knock out 2 birds with one stone: incest!


sorry just kidding. how about getting a normal good paying job, and hire a nurse, at least part time? or a nursing home?

i understand your loyalty, but would she really want you to give up your livelihood for her?

if you do carer for her:

-learn to live off less sleep, go out with the extra time. Im in college and i can live off 5 hours.
-have barbecues or do stuff very close to the house, invite girls.
-blockbuster date, movies at home. learn to cook, dinner date at your place.
-You can use the phone to hit on girls whose number you got, switch your MO to phone to compensate for the lack of face to face dates.

bottom line: adapt. dont let this make you celibate. some girls will think youre a dork who is stuck with mommy. but to hell with them. Keep meeting new girls, you will find one understanding.

 

[SamePendo]

Hope your mom does fine uly.

Are women going to be interested in a guy who looks after his sick mother?

Well man. Those who dont want to are USELESS. Why would you want to continue to be with a girl who doesnt want to be with you because you are looking out for your sick mother?
This could be a pretty good test, if they DO want you even when you are caring for your mother, it means she is a pretty nice person. If not, NEXT. Get away from women who dont want to be with you because of your mom thing.
In my post What being a DJ brings I talk about something pretty similar. Be a DJ, be yourself, if someone rejects you for being yourself, for being a DJ, she is NOT worth it. I will repeat:
Be a DJ, be yourself, if someone rejects you for being yourself, for being a DJ, she is NOT worth it.

 

[uly55]

Thanks Guys for your Replies!! Much appreciated!!

Oscar...Yeah I plan to do more study by Correspondance! Already have a masters degree in Japanese natural Healing, Planning on doing Massage degree, Accupuncture, nutrition and personal trainer degree.

Reto...yeah mate.....is a horrible disease!

Isotope.......lol ;-) yeah my mum's had a terrible life and now this it's the least I can do! Less sleep is a good idea, but hard atm (i'm recovering from chronic fatigue), my doc has put me on another diet that is working.So less sleep might work! Yeah never thought of bbq's and such - good idea! I can't eat alot of stuff with my new diet, but that won't stop me from cooking for others!

SamePendo.....I agree totally with your post!! thanks mate yeah might be a good way to test them too!

I won't give up on my Djing

Thanks again guys!!

Uly

 

[drixsa]

uly-some things are more important than pickin up woman but once you get into a routine you should be able to manage your time and do in 3 hrs what many cant do in 6

i cant see why a girl wouldnt think that it would be a really great thing that you are doing for your mom

good luck and best wishes

 

[Walden]

As Che said "When they say it is impossible that means there are 10,000 solutions".

As Patton said " We will find a way or we will make a way".

I suggest you find a way or make a way. Bravo Zulu for looking after her tho'

 

[Legend]

dont worry man....you'll be surprised about how things always seem to work out.