A revelation: Apparently I'm still awkward with girls, still want to change.

[Deicide]

Hello, tonight I had a hang-out session with an attractive Asian woman. I took her out to eat, and I was trying to do push pull techniques with her by acting like she couldn't have me, etc... So our night was going good. Then we stopped by my apartment complex for a bit, before we were to go play pool together. My 2 friends were there on the couch and they started talking to my date. Then my date ended up asking them if they wanted to come along(this made me very mad), and THEY DID! They followed me and my date and I tried to separate us from them by being at a different table. Then my friends come up without asking and start playing a game with us. After my date went to the bathroom, I was very upset and ended up accidentally getting in my friends' face for imposing on my date. Then they left after we had verbal warfare, and my date came back. My date wanted to get on the computer, so I sat with her, and my angry scheming friends came back and my date was like "Do both of you have Facebook?" to them. And one of my scheming friends was chatting on facebook with my date who was sitting right beside me talking about me. Then one of the friends asked us to play pool, and my date wanted to. Me and the friends almost came to blows over it, I was pissed. They kept following me and my date around, and I couldn't stop them, because she liked them better than me. And I tried to get her to go back to my room to play guitar, but she wouldn't go. And the friends kept following us around.

After all of this, the friends and me had a personal talk. They told me that I'm awkward around girls and that I never relax, and that they had no intention of being with my date. One just wanted revenge over me getting agressive with him. I told them it is disrespectful to interrupt a man when he is with an attractive woman, and the angry one said I insulted him by getting agressive with him.

My date was low-interest, and a lot of what went down was her fault, because she asked them to come along. and the friends kept manipulating her and the situation.

So, I didn't get anything from the girl, I was hoping to escalate to a kiss close or makeout, but my friends got in the way and she liked them better than me. My friends just said they were having fun by ****blocking me.

What can I do to make sure this never happens in the future? And I've always had trouble attracting women to me also. The good thing is that this gave me a dose of reality as I had no idea I was still being awkward. The bad news is I got AMOG'd.

 

[Chickfight]

I wouldn't blame your friends too much. It's her who disrespected you repeatedly. You were on a date and SHE asks them to come play pool. Then later she asks to get on a computer DURING your date?? I would have asked her to leave right then.

My advice for you is to not introduce girls to your friends before you've established intimacy and that she's with you. If you aren't making out with her whenever you want, don't do it. Sure, someone with better game and a stronger frame could easily get away with it, but as you said you're still awkward and it seems you have problems being in control of situations.

Also, you must have been seriously lacking in escalating any sort of intimacy or kino during the date, if she starts asking other people to join and asking to go on a computer.

Keep improving yourself bro, start loving yourself, other people will come in and out, but you'll be stuck with you for the rest of your life.

 

[xdreamz]

this is my perspective, its good that you had time out with her. the dating game is not something you get on the first try, let alone 3 or 4 even. your pad is your palace, it's your goods...assuming this is one of your earliest meet-ups with her, it's not good to let her into the cave at this time. develop more of an unpredictability. take control. you lost all control which means game over. my advice is to get a feel for the game by developing a simple dating routine. that way when you run your prospect through them you can easily fortell the unexpected routes and turns. hope this helps.

 

[runner83]

My advice for you is to not introduce girls to your friends before you've established intimacy and that she's with you. If you aren't making out with her whenever you want, don't do it. Sure, someone with better game and a stronger frame could easily get away with it, but as you said you're still awkward and it seems you have problems being in control of situations.

This is good advice and should be SOP unless your game is absolutely awesome,..

Sure, maybe she was low interest, but ask yourself this question:

"what the fvck kind of friend would knowingly **** block you like these few did, unless they wanted her for themselves?"

These guys are not your friends. Ignore what they say and look at their actions. They did everything they could to basically take the attention off you and get the girl for themselves.

You are looking to improve yourself and that is good. But don't hesitate to let loose of any ****heads like this who are holding you back and making you insecure about yourself.

Positive people only, who help you to achieve your full potential.

 

[Sh0t]

Your friends threw salt all over your game bro. You have no idea how the date would have went without them tagging along. Maybe she was trying to fit in with your friends as your date. You can blame her for much, but INITIALLY, she may have just been trying to be a cool girl, instead of aloof.

When you get more game, trust me, these same dudes will continue to ruin dates for you. Only this time, you'll be the cool one, and they will purposefully creep out your dates.

 

[Mike32ct]

Cosign. Runner is spot on. I couldn't have said it better myself.

I also agree with Sh0t.

This is good advice and should be SOP unless your game is absolutely awesome,..

Sure, maybe she was low interest, but ask yourself this question:

"what the fvck kind of friend would knowingly **** block you like these few did, unless they wanted her for themselves?"

These guys are not your friends. Ignore what they say and look at their actions. They did everything they could to basically take the attention off you and get the girl for themselves.

You are looking to improve yourself and that is good. But don't hesitate to let loose of any ****heads like this who are holding you back and making you insecure about yourself.

Positive people only, who help you to achieve your full potential.

 

[FairShake]

So because you're awkward they swoop in and steal your sh!t?

What kind of assbackwards logic is that? And why are you heeding it?

Fvck them. Get a dog.

 

[Htienvu]

These are NOT your real friends! I'd never imagine myself doing that to a friend or my friends would the same to me. Ditch them and the girl, improve yourself to rid of your insecurities. Real friends are there for you, not to get in your way and put you down like they did.

 

[Chickfight]

The fact remains that if he had good game, nothing his friends could have done would have stopped him from getting with her. If the friends legitimately just came along to have fun and play pool, it may have not been very tactful, but if he didn't warn them beforehand they could not have known. He could have just told them right there "nah maybe next time".
Instead they come along and all he's doing is spreading bad vibes, getting pissed and gets in his friends face. Depending on what he said, I don't see it as unreasonable that the friends wanted some payback. I wasn't there so I don't know how the situation felt exactly. They were two of them together and they were obviously just fcking around as in not legitmately trying to steal her from you, but yeah maybe they fcked up to some degree to which you have to set them straight. That's how friendships work, people make mistakes and that doesn't seem like a big enough reason to break one, over some annoying girl. In the end it's your call, but I absolutely agree you shouldn't tolerate disrespect.

 

[Deicide]

The fact remains that if he had good game, nothing his friends could have done would have stopped him from getting with her. If the friends legitimately just came along to have fun and play pool, it may have not been very tactful, but if he didn't warn them beforehand they could not have known. He could have just told them right there "nah maybe next time".
Instead they come along and all he's doing is spreading bad vibes, getting pissed and gets in his friends face. Depending on what he said, I don't see it as unreasonable that the friends wanted some payback. I wasn't there so I don't know how the situation felt exactly. They were two of them together and they were obviously just fcking around as in not legitmately trying to steal her from you, but yeah maybe they fcked up to some degree to which you have to set them straight. That's how friendships work, people make mistakes and that doesn't seem like a big enough reason to break one, over some annoying girl. In the end it's your call, but I absolutely agree you shouldn't tolerate disrespect.

I cursed my friends out and I think I may've threatened one of them without thinking about it. They took offense to me telling them that I was on a date with her, and they told me that I should've told them that upfront in the beginning and it would've been cool. But my date had to ask them to come along and do what they wanted to instead of what I wanted to. I had a plan laid out to escalate and try to get a kiss close or make-out with her that night by us being together for 4 hours. She's going back to her country in 2 weeks,but I'm forgetting her. That is why I was trying to get her back to my room that night. I did do kino on her at the restaraunt, I basically touched her all over(thigh, stomach, back, hands, etc...) by referring to her clothes or some situation, and she didn't seem to mind it. Then the friends came along, and I lost my sense of game. I was emotinal and everything went out the window. I don't think I'll be seeing them again after this week, one is graduating and the other is probably dropping out. I probably shouldn't have gotten so agressive and pissed, but I was feeling very mad at the time. My invading friends told me they thought the girl was a lesbian. She had told me before that she had a boyfriend in the past, so I don't know. I was sexual with her about things, like her referring to wanting to go to a strip club, and having guys buy drinks for her at bars(I asked her if she went home with the guys, lol.)

 

[Packers2010]

lol. man i used to have the WORST friends ever. they would always make fun of me and **** when i was with a girl. ( i hardly talk to them now. i never initiate talking to them)

so i learnt long ago to at least have like 5 dates with a girl before meeting your friends.

 

[Packers2010]

This is good advice and should be SOP unless your game is absolutely awesome,..

Sure, maybe she was low interest, but ask yourself this question:

"what the fvck kind of friend would knowingly **** block you like these few did, unless they wanted her for themselves?"

These guys are not your friends. Ignore what they say and look at their actions. They did everything they could to basically take the attention off you and get the girl for themselves.

You are looking to improve yourself and that is good. But don't hesitate to let loose of any ****heads like this who are holding you back and making you insecure about yourself.

Positive people only, who help you to achieve your full potential.

this is the best advice anyone could give you right now. o used to hang out with friends like you have ALL THE TIME! and it got me NOWHERE. now i keep them at a LARGE distance and i have the freedom to do anything.

thing is they are chodes ( my old friends) so if i ever want to hang out with them for reasons. i can cos they will jump at the chance.

 

[Chickfight]

Again it doesn't matter how good your friends are, you should learn to keep your frame and not get pulled out of your zone by others. The more you focus on it being a problem, the bigger the problem comes. The relax and roll with it. There will always be people trying to ****block you and most won't be your friends.

If I had been in your situation, when she asked them if they wanted to join I would immediately say something like"nah, it's not gonna be a group thing tonight, maybe next time" with a smile. You underestimate the power of assertiveness. Once you've stated your desire like that in a calm and reasonable way, people will rarely keep going against you and if they do, then yes i'll cut them out, you can't expect to be treated with respect if you don't demand it. Even when she went to the bathroom, you could have calmly and in a friendly way asked them to leave, but you totally lost your cool.

The way I see it, she asked them, so she fcked up, you didn't object or establish she was with you (arm around her/kissing) so you can't blame them for coming along and being social. Then you act upset and actually THREATENED them over a GIRL, instead of just assertively telling them what they're doing is wrong. Nobody likes being threatened, so they took it upon themselves to fck with you some more.

but you're the one that knows them, so only you can judge their character, not anyone here. Think about your past with them and if they have done sh!t like this before. Then figure it out for yourself.