A Reoccurring Issue .. Beating around the bush?

[JohnChops]

Alright so this has happened with two girls I was texting yesterday.

Girl 1: I ask her if she wants to go to the club, I give her a date, time and place and then she ignores that and and says "end of the world clubbing I dont have work saturday" Then I said "me either so lets go" and she just said "ah sooo goood". What the hell is that?! I assumed her IL was low so I just stopped texting her.

Girl 2 : I tell, not even ask lol, movies on friday at xtime. She doesnt text me back and then texts me the next morning saying how shes switching departments at her job.. once again completely ignoring the get together attempt by me. Once again I stopped texting her.

What the hell is going on? Am I just hitting a wall with some low IL chicks or is it me? the way im asking, the way im texting, I really do not even like texting (i only use it to set up dates) but it seems like there is to much miscommunication via texting that anything can easily be ignored without her even caring if she ignores it!

How can I stop this/make sure it happens less? Any feedback would be great. Thanks fellas.

 

[VladPatton]

It seems lately that whenever they wanna back out of something, they stop texting as if their phone just got dropped in a toilet. I've been noticing this even with my sister's friends, so it's not done just towards us guys. It's bratty behavior at best. It's amazing how a girl can put her phone away and everything is solved, gone! Poof! Whew!

I just stop texting at that point and call it a good attempt, fųck it.

 

[JohnChops]

It seems lately that whenever they wanna back out of something, they stop texting as if their phone just got dropped in a toilet. I've been noticing this even with my sister's friends, so it's not done just towards us guys. It's bratty behavior at best. It's amazing how a girl can put her phone away and everything is solved, gone! Poof! Whew!

I just stop texting at that point and call it a good attempt, fųck it.

Thats pretty much what I did. Damn man its just really annoying. How hard is it to answer a text? I understand if youre busy, at the gym, studying, in class, etc but if youre free come on... its like 5 clicks away on a device your already on 24/7 anyway. Do you try to make new plans with the same girl or just screw em?

 

[VladPatton]

Yeah you can try a little later, but 2 or 3 times and it gets old. This one chick in my social circle is a fųcking kill-text pro. So now when I'm out I'll text her, and show everyone her bųllṣhit excuse she sends me to stay home. It became a gag. I text, bųllṣhit excuse follows and we all laugh lol. Hey if she wants to stay home and sulk and not come out and hang, possibly have a relationship, then I may as well get some entertainment out of it. The guys ask me now "so what is your little girlfriend's excuse tonight?" lol What a female AFC, I tell ya.

But yeah, I mean try every now and then, but most likely you WILL get pissed at her ignorance towards you. Women, eh?

 

[JohnChops]

Yeah you can try a little later, but 2 or 3 times and it gets old. This one chick in my social circle is a fųcking kill-text pro. So now when I'm out I'll text her, and show everyone her bųllṣhit excuse she sends me to stay home. It became a gag. I text, bųllṣhit excuse follows and we all laugh lol. Hey if she wants to stay home and sulk and not come out and hang, possibly have a relationship, then I may as well get some entertainment out of it. The guys ask me now "so what is your little girlfriend's excuse tonight?" lol What a female AFC, I tell ya.

But yeah, I mean try every now and then, but most likely you WILL get pissed at her ignorance towards you. Women, eh?

Pissed, meh maybe for a second or two then ill just brush it off and not care. I mean theres 3.5 billion women out there and they all wana get laid Thats crazy man why are women even like that? Theyd rather sit home than go out lol lazy and boring if you ask me.

 

[VladPatton]

Yeah man...they want that one guy and that's that, no substitutions or exceptions! The dart's gotta hit the bullseye 10/10 times or they ain't playin. They wanna have it their way, like Burger King.

 

[JohnChops]

Yeah man...they want that one guy and that's that, no substitutions or exceptions! The dart's gotta hit the bullseye 10/10 times or they ain't playin. They wanna have it their way, like Burger King.

Gah I know, they want their cake and to eat multiple pieces too. Fat b1tches lol. Guess its just the game and we just gotta shake it off and move on. I mean what else could you do?

 

[foreverAFC]

Pissed, meh maybe for a second or two then ill just brush it off and not care. I mean theres 3.5 billion women out there and they all wana get laid Thats crazy man why are women even like that? Theyd rather sit home than go out lol lazy and boring if you ask me.

they arent sitting at home, they are getting torn up by another guy

 

[JohnChops]

they arent sitting at home, they are getting torn up by another guy

yeah but having that mentality is why your foreverAFC only because ya thinking about them :moon:

 

[VladPatton]

they arent sitting at home, they are getting torn up by another guy

LOL You can think that if you like.

 

[ARrocket]

Ha yeah, gotta love when you send the first 2 messages or so and get back replies instantly, then you set the date and then *crickets*

Silence for like 45 minutes and then a weak excuse. Ummm yeah....real subtle

 

[peteywintz]

OP, I'm just curious, what age are you and what age range of women do you normally go after?

I recently graduated from college (I'm 22) and moved across the country to start a job. I never had issues with flakiness until I moved out here. Women have never cancelled dates, but they just plain old don't text back. There's no rhyme or reason to it at all.

 

[pdx1138]

Yeah man...they want that one guy and that's that, no substitutions or exceptions! The dart's gotta hit the bullseye 10/10 times or they ain't playin. They wanna have it their way, like Burger King.

Thats the PAR for the course lately it seems.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I'm not even going to say it. I'm just going to start collecting all the various post I see like this that involve some texting mishap and put them together in one big post so people will see what I'm talking about all the time...

Anyway - for Girl 1, based on her response, you don't really know whether she's actually saying "yes" to your club invite or acting like aloof. Either way, she's not directly replying to you with a "yes," which girls that are interested tend to do. This one could go either way, but a simple phone call would have left you less confused.

For Girl 2, she's not interested. Not only did she ignore your text, she didn't give you a reason for it? Not even a "my phone battery died" or nothing? No bueno. Again, this should have been a phone call - at least with a call, she wouldn't have gotten a warning about you trying to ask her out, and may have been able to do some small talk that would have gotten her interested in going out with you. Instead, your text may have come off sounding a bit too controlling - but again, since you didn't say this via a phone call and couldn't get a vocal response from her on how this "demand" felt to her (nor were you able to use vocal inflections to say this same sentiment without coming off like a jerk), we don't know. All we know is, she didn't respond back, something that would have been instantaneous with a phone call...

Bottom line: yes, dates can be set up with texts, but it works better if you already have time set in with them, like a few months. Until you do, phone calls or in-person invites are the best way to gauge how interested they really are in going out with you. One could argue that an unanswered text message would indicate lack of interest, but you had to wait HOURS before finally getting the hint - at least with a phone call, you could have heard a waning vocal inflection or some "um, uh, wells...." and known what the deal was a lot faster. TKR, man, TKR...

 

[JohnChops]

I'm not even going to say it. I'm just going to start collecting all the various post I see like this that involve some texting mishap and put them together in one big post so people will see what I'm talking about all the time...

Anyway - for Girl 1, based on her response, you don't really know whether she's actually saying "yes" to your club invite or acting like aloof. Either way, she's not directly replying to you with a "yes," which girls that are interested tend to do. This one could go either way, but a simple phone call would have left you less confused.

For Girl 2, she's not interested. Not only did she ignore your text, she didn't give you a reason for it? Not even a "my phone battery died" or nothing? No bueno. Again, this should have been a phone call - at least with a call, she wouldn't have gotten a warning about you trying to ask her out, and may have been able to do some small talk that would have gotten her interested in going out with you. Instead, your text may have come off sounding a bit too controlling - but again, since you didn't say this via a phone call and couldn't get a vocal response from her on how this "demand" felt to her (nor were you able to use vocal inflections to say this same sentiment without coming off like a jerk), we don't know. All we know is, she didn't respond back, something that would have been instantaneous with a phone call...

Bottom line: yes, dates can be set up with texts, but it works better if you already have time set in with them, like a few months. Until you do, phone calls or in-person invites are the best way to gauge how interested they really are in going out with you. One could argue that an unanswered text message would indicate lack of interest, but you had to wait HOURS before finally getting the hint - at least with a phone call, you could have heard a waning vocal inflection or some "um, uh, wells...." and known what the deal was a lot faster. TKR, man, TKR...

I had a feeling you'd come into this thread preaching your usual banter against texting And now that I see it actually happening, how bad texting is, now I believe you. Im 19, the girls im going after are 18-23 age group. The funny part is ive already had sex with girl #2 so im assuming she lost interest somewhere along the line. And girl #1 is just making things confusing and difficult which if she had interest she wouldnt do.

Either way, im not gonna think twice, time to forget and next em. Lesson learned: no matter how much people have swapped to texting, just give em a call. Meh we gotta learn on our feet as men anyway.

Thanks Fellas.

 

[hansol]

I wouldn't be too quick to buy into Harry's cool-aid. Ever call a chick, ring 4 times, get her voicemail, hang up, only to have her text you two seconds later saying "Hey, did you just call me? What's up?" That's what happens more frequently than not.

Chicks love texting, in fact I would lean towards them preferring it. Learn to do it right and there is never an issue.

As for your situation, I think it's just one of those days. You win some, you lose some.

I had a feeling you'd come into this thread preaching your usual banter against texting And now that I see it actually happening, how bad texting is, now I believe you. Im 19, the girls im going after are 18-23 age group. The funny part is ive already had sex with girl #2 so im assuming she lost interest somewhere along the line. And girl #1 is just making things confusing and difficult which if she had interest she wouldnt do.

Either way, im not gonna think twice, time to forget and next em. Lesson learned: no matter how much people have swapped to texting, just give em a call. Meh we gotta learn on our feet as men anyway.

Thanks Fellas.

 

[pdx1138]

^^agreed, learn to do it right and sparingly at that! Too much spoils the mystery. Proven time after time.

 

[yuppaz]

And there is a much stronger connection with someone when you can hear their voice. Girls get turned on if you are a sexy voiced mother f*cker. Use that to your advantage... If 99% of guys are texting and you just call her up, you stand out AND you can use your big boy voice to turn her on and get her out/ in.