A quick one - how to behave with LTR ex ?

[fafo]

Hi guys!
I enjoy reading most of the topics here and often log in to see the development.
My question is simple one but I have difficulties answering it myself.

Pre-story:
I broke up with my LTR girlfriend May 2015 and been digesting the red pill ever since. Completed the No-Contact challenge with ease and continued it.
Some dates with various women till now but nothing serious, I just don't feel like trusting another woman soon.

Now:
My circle of friends is starting to hang out again at the same bar where she is still working and sometimes we will come across.
I have seen her there a month ago and she suggested that I go to her table to chat, I told her ok but never went because I forgot.
Yesterday she and her new guy came as we were resting there after volleyball, I don't mind them both and was friendly. The guy left and she wanted to show me some funny pictures but I told her to come to me.
She came, showed me and then returned to her seat but continued to initiate conversations. I answered but didn't show much interest in her(because I really don't give a ****). I was with a girl there so we left soon after but gave friendly goodbye.

Now, I don't want to get back with her or anything. Seeing that my friends hang there more and more I don't want to miss them because of some girl I don't care about but I also don't want to seem mean as this will probably result in negative opinions from the rest of the "bar social circle" there.

So after all the hurr durr the question is : How do you communicate/behave with an ex if you are in similar social circles or regularly visiting her workplace ?

PS: And the girl I was with said my ex's new guy is ugly which was like a sun shining on my ego

 

[TheException]

How do you communicate/behave with an ex if you are in similar social circles or regularly visiting her workplace ?

You treat as if she was not your ex. As if you two never dated.

This is obviously from a mindset standpoint, not a literal one. You aren't literally denying that you ever dated her, but your mindset should be so far removed from any previous relationship with her. I wouldn't ignore her, treat her "mean", or give her short responses on purpose. I think getting a little chummy every once in awhile is best and most healthy. Just treat her like any other attractive female brother. As long as you do not make it a "big deal", then it never will be.

 

[SgtSplacker]

You broke up with her so you're gonna have to draw the line somewhere. Can't just keep on talking to her like that. You know she secretly still has some feels for you. Better cut her off sooner than later before she starts cawk blocking you.

 

[parkthebus]

When you read "pre-story" and realise this is gonna be a long post

 

[fafo]

You treat as if she was not your ex. As if you two never dated.

This is obviously from a mindset standpoint, not a literal one. You aren't literally denying that you ever dated her, but your mindset should be so far removed from any previous relationship with her. I wouldn't ignore her, treat her "mean", or give her short responses on purpose. I think getting a little chummy every once in awhile is best and most healthy. Just treat her like any other attractive female brother. As long as you do not make it a "big deal", then it never will be.

Yes you are right, I don't know why I'm not so rational myself

I just didn't want to look like I have something for her more than friendly conversations or seem desperate/needy but then again after LTR thing differ from other people.
At the end I may be overthinking this too much instead of just being happy she is not some cold ***** making drama

Thanks for the opinions guys!

@SgtSplacker We were living together but the spark died out because I became king of the AFC-s I don't really think she has feelings for me but on the other hand she is the one seeking communication. Overthinking again I guess

@parkthebus I tried keeping it short and to the point guess It could be shorter.

 

[Lozboss]

Why not ignore her like she is a girl you aren't interested in?

I personally think there's still feelings there on both sides. Are there really no other bars where you live?

 

[gravityeyelids]

It sounds like you have the proper attitude towards the situation and are truly over her, which makes things easier. I don't see any problem with exes being cordial to each other. In fact I think it's a good idea because when girls see that you're on friendly terms with an ex yet obviously over her, its more attractive than the guy who talks mad sh!t about her and rubs her name in the dirt. Just be cordial but standoffish

 

[fafo]

@Lozboss There are a lot of bars around but most of my friends started to hang out in this one again and I like to be with them. Shouldn't ignore them because of a girl I have no intentions for.

I'll do my best to treat her like any other girl minus the flirting( dunno flirting seem to me to be inappropriate in this situation despite that I use it often with girls )

Thanks guys, when I read it all again it seems to me that I was vastly overthinking the situation.
I might even use her for her hot friends but that is for later overthinking