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A problem I thought I'd never have...

JCballin88

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Basically I've taken the forum's advice and started actively pursuing girls (or plates, whatever) while already having one in the fold.

My situation is essentially this:

Girl A (HB 6.5-7ish): Met her at a party...she is several years younger than me and very busy with work/school...is actually a pretty good down-to-earth girl who is adamant about saving herself for marriage. As a virgin from a Christian background, I can kinda respect this, although I'm definitely open to sex before marriage (duh...haha).

Girl B (Also a 6.5-7ish): Kind-of a wild card...closer to my age...met her through work (although I hardly ever see her there since we work in totally separate areas). She really isn't the kinda girl I could "bring home to the folks," but is still fun to hang out with. Things have been getting hot and heavy in our texts lately, and today she pretty much propositioned me for sex whenever I actually want to go to her place.

The problem: Girl A is downright infatuated with me...and while I like her, I'm not sure I want to get exclusive right now. She pretty much acts like we ARE exclusive, even though I've never officially asked her. I know she would be devastated if she even knew I was talking to Girl B. While I'd rather not be a 40-year-old virgin, I don't know how I'd feel about banging girl B right now.

What do I do about this? I don't really want to date either one long-term, but I like having both of them in the fold. Am I wrong for going to see Girl B before officially being in a relationship with A?

Give me some wisdom fellas.
 

Chamber36

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If you haven't banged either, then there should be no moral issues.

Only after you bang one could they bring up talk about exclusivity, imho.
 

Sofomore

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seems to me you think the younger one is cuter. go with your gut...do you want to get laid or be in a relationship?
 

JoelyBoy

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you need to learn how to please a girl, the first couple of times aren't the best! I would get girl B to teach you (don't tell her she's teaching you though!) and then, once she loses interest, (which I imagine she will, being a wild card-she just wants to bang-no romance) you will have more confidence in general and with girl A. If girl A changes her mind and doesn't like you anymore, you'll be kicking yourself for not getting it on with girl B. Trust me, it's happened to me LOTS in the past!! SEIZE THE DAY
 

Aaron B

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its not fair for you to treat her like a child

you have to operate based on the notion that she is a competent, mature adult woman

you have no obligation to protect her from herself

you probably couldn't even if you wanted to

if she gets her feelings involved and thinks she is your girlfriend but you don't want to be exclusive, that's on her not you
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Mike32ct

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JCballin88 said:
Basically I've taken the forum's advice and started actively pursuing girls (or plates, whatever) while already having one in the fold.

My situation is essentially this:

Girl A (HB 6.5-7ish): Met her at a party...she is several years younger than me and very busy with work/school...is actually a pretty good down-to-earth girl who is adamant about saving herself for marriage. As a virgin from a Christian background, I can kinda respect this, although I'm definitely open to sex before marriage (duh...haha).

Then just be friends with her. She can still be good social proof and probably has more adventurous friends. If she wants to save herself, respect that and don't get in the way.

Girl B (Also a 6.5-7ish): Kind-of a wild card...closer to my age...met her through work (although I hardly ever see her there since we work in totally separate areas). She really isn't the kinda girl I could "bring home to the folks," but is still fun to hang out with. Things have been getting hot and heavy in our texts lately, and today she pretty much propositioned me for sex whenever I actually want to go to her place.

You gotta strike when the iron is hot. Remember, when a chick wants to b*ng you, it is usually a limited time offer. While some more advanced SS guys might be able to close a chick months or a year later, that is NOT the norm for most guys.

If you don't, some other sausage vulture will move in.


The problem: Girl A is downright infatuated with me...and while I like her, I'm not sure I want to get exclusive right now. She pretty much acts like we ARE exclusive, even though I've never officially asked her.

You haven't actually dated her right? She just has a crush on you. She'll get over it. Keep things friendly and polite, but don't flirt with her anymore. No need to lead her on more.

I know she would be devastated if she even knew I was talking to Girl B. While I'd rather not be a 40-year-old virgin, I don't know how I'd feel about banging girl B right now.

If you're just not attracted to B, that's fine. But otherwise, feel free to go for it.

What do I do about this? I don't really want to date either one long-term, but I like having both of them in the fold.

With all due respect, you're being a male version of an AW lol. You are enjoying the attention of both girls but not looking for anything with either.

Am I wrong for going to see Girl B before officially being in a relationship with A?

No. You would be wrong to hook up with B if you actually WERE in a relationship with A. But you aren't.

Give me some wisdom fellas.
Girl A is not compatible with you because she wants to save herself for marriage. Girl B is ready and willing. You are either attracted enough to B to seal the deal or you aren't. It's no big deal either way bro. You don't have to hook up with her. It's your call. I just want you to see this more objectively.
 
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