Greetings, I am new to this website, a friend of mine has recently suggested me here to gather some masculine perspective. I am not English or American, so there'll be some mistakes at my writing. I am not going to start from "The Big Bang" but I'll try to mention about the details.
When I was 19, I was an extremely feminine person who would weep for rejections and get offended to the smallest banter. I was rejected by almost all the women I liked and although I was fit (187 pounds to 6 feet), educated, well-mannered and you know, I had the symptoms of a complete nice guy. I attended to biology department when I was 20 at one of the most prestigious universities in my country and decided to take the route of computational neuroscience. The feminine part of me almost never left me till I had ONEitis to a one-sided love. Those times, I found out Red Pill community and I've been working at a school magazine as a voluntary writer and they wanted me to be one of their editors because of my hard work and discipline and rapid and analytical acting. After being an editor, I dated a few times with various women and some of them didn't work out. They told me I was too bossy and sometimes way too ****y for them. Then, I became the head of the university magazine and I was way too busy to date and whatnot. Of course, the magazine was shut down.
At 21, I was coding a mobile app for an illness with a team so I've been enhancing my coding skills, I got my first job at programming sector but I got fired because the coding thing wasn't my thing eventually. I tried to learn German and met a few girls there who were older than me like 3-4 years. I dated with all but excluding one of them, none of them became a relationship. I had fun with them, had some intimacy, that's all. Somehow I felt myself way better because I've been finding something which had lacked inside me for a long time.
At 22, I've been a coordinator at a global science community and had networks from various universities and institutes such as NASA, Caltech, MIT, Harvard, UC Berkeley, Max Planck etc. I have tried to sustain my academic successes at upper levels and trying to read articles at zoology, neuroscience, ethology and bioinformatics. I was learning R language for genetic analyses and working in a lab as an assistant. I had my first girlfriend at 22 and lost my virginity at 23. I have no idea if this age is too late or not... At 23, I had su*cidal tendencies because of delusions and committed suicide but decided to seek psychiatric help and psychiatrists said I might have Asperger's (this diagnosis is too skeptical to be corrected because I don't lack social skills or empathy, I have variety of people although I've been a bit shy still and selective about people) and they gave me Lithuril. I had to break up with my girlfriend that time. I still miss her although it has been almost 3 months of heartbreak and casual dating doesn't work.
Currently, I'm working at a scientific institute for computational neuroscience and writing my article about ethology. I'm a senior year student and I'm planning to work part-time again. I have lost weight actually since the attempt of suicide (From 253 lbs to 220 lbs) and sometimes I like smoking cigarettes. I don't consume alcohol or any kind of substances. Because of the desire of being fit again, I'm going to cook and go to the gym again. It's really difficult for me to wake up early like 7 or 8 AM but I'll try my best.
Excluding all that, what would you suggest a 23 year old male for making himself better and thriving to the best? Waiting for your comments.
When I was 19, I was an extremely feminine person who would weep for rejections and get offended to the smallest banter. I was rejected by almost all the women I liked and although I was fit (187 pounds to 6 feet), educated, well-mannered and you know, I had the symptoms of a complete nice guy. I attended to biology department when I was 20 at one of the most prestigious universities in my country and decided to take the route of computational neuroscience. The feminine part of me almost never left me till I had ONEitis to a one-sided love. Those times, I found out Red Pill community and I've been working at a school magazine as a voluntary writer and they wanted me to be one of their editors because of my hard work and discipline and rapid and analytical acting. After being an editor, I dated a few times with various women and some of them didn't work out. They told me I was too bossy and sometimes way too ****y for them. Then, I became the head of the university magazine and I was way too busy to date and whatnot. Of course, the magazine was shut down.
At 21, I was coding a mobile app for an illness with a team so I've been enhancing my coding skills, I got my first job at programming sector but I got fired because the coding thing wasn't my thing eventually. I tried to learn German and met a few girls there who were older than me like 3-4 years. I dated with all but excluding one of them, none of them became a relationship. I had fun with them, had some intimacy, that's all. Somehow I felt myself way better because I've been finding something which had lacked inside me for a long time.
At 22, I've been a coordinator at a global science community and had networks from various universities and institutes such as NASA, Caltech, MIT, Harvard, UC Berkeley, Max Planck etc. I have tried to sustain my academic successes at upper levels and trying to read articles at zoology, neuroscience, ethology and bioinformatics. I was learning R language for genetic analyses and working in a lab as an assistant. I had my first girlfriend at 22 and lost my virginity at 23. I have no idea if this age is too late or not... At 23, I had su*cidal tendencies because of delusions and committed suicide but decided to seek psychiatric help and psychiatrists said I might have Asperger's (this diagnosis is too skeptical to be corrected because I don't lack social skills or empathy, I have variety of people although I've been a bit shy still and selective about people) and they gave me Lithuril. I had to break up with my girlfriend that time. I still miss her although it has been almost 3 months of heartbreak and casual dating doesn't work.
Currently, I'm working at a scientific institute for computational neuroscience and writing my article about ethology. I'm a senior year student and I'm planning to work part-time again. I have lost weight actually since the attempt of suicide (From 253 lbs to 220 lbs) and sometimes I like smoking cigarettes. I don't consume alcohol or any kind of substances. Because of the desire of being fit again, I'm going to cook and go to the gym again. It's really difficult for me to wake up early like 7 or 8 AM but I'll try my best.
Excluding all that, what would you suggest a 23 year old male for making himself better and thriving to the best? Waiting for your comments.