A maturing don

white belt

Don Juan
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Firstly guys I want you to know a few things, I do not intend to outreach myself in this post and give advice in areas that I am not properly qualified so simply put I wont. However what I will share is some of my experiences and the attitudes to becoming a Don Juan, be warned this is long but it is not keyboard jockeying so get a pillow, parch yourself on it and mill over the contents below.

Background
A few years back when I was about 16, girls seemed a daunting place full of apparent mysteries that no boy of my age really had any clue about. So what did I do, yes you got it I decided to invest my time, which is the most precious thing of all, to figuring out why I was clueless when it came to women.

Now when I say that I had no clue with women I do not mean that I was in anyway unpopular with girls, I would actually get asked out but when it came to the girls that I wanted, normally the really good looking ones, I was left somewhat wanting. My object back then was the picking up of girls, to be popular and in essence to get dates. This was my criteria for starting out on this path.

The desire to change
One thing about me from a very young age and something that my teachers commented on was that I was my own man, if I didn’t want to do something I wouldn’t, no amount of peer pressure could sway me into doing anything that I did not want to do a good quality. This came with having a strong set or morals but I felt a guilt or at the very least bad for sometimes going against the crowd. I also had a bit of a temper which sometimes meant that I would get violent, it must have been a funny sight, me a small boy at 5ft and about 8 stone having a 6ft, 14stone monster in the corner by the scruff of the neck, no wander I had the nickname of the ‘silent psycho.’ Anyway I was never were I wanted to be with regards to girls, I resented the fact that girls would idiotically date bullish pricks that played sports and almost seemed to snear at guys who where not loud and didn’t fit the same model. This resentment was in fact the seeds that began a change in me, I was not content to feel like I was second fiddle anyone, I was super competitive with a high dosage of testosterone, smart and I knew that with enough time I would out shine those twits.

The Studying Begins
So where did I start, well Brad Pitt of coarse. I had heard all about Brad, his name was synonymous with sex appeal and I made it my mission to understand why he had such an allure over girls. I rented and watched many of his films and to begin with I thought, ‘well if I looked like Brad Pitt then surely I would have all the girls as well.’ It took me a while however to see that this was not the full story, why because for a start he in many ways looked similar to myself but more importantly a lot of the ‘popular guys’ were butt ugly, they didn’t look like brad yet those boys got the good looking girls for whatever reason?!?

Dabbling
At this stage of my life imitation was the name of the game, in my spare time I would watch and practice exactly how Tyler Durden walked and spoke in fight club. This was over the coarse of the summer and when school began next term I had drilled myself and was ready to implement it with the girls that I came in contact with. Guess what, my overall success had started to improve. Eye contact I held for long periods of time normally till they broke it, my walk was different, my demeanor and my attitude. I even began to get looks from the really good looking girls, I knew they fancied me and they knew I knew, imitation in this instance was working very well. Out of the group of girls that I hung about with 6 out of the 7 actually fancied me. How did I know this you ask, well this was because the 7th was in fact my best friends girlfriend, I got the low down from him on how the girls at lunch time would talk about me constantly. There was no doubt that things where working but something was a miss, I just wasn’t at ease with the world or something.

Self Destruction:cuss:
Now in fight club Tyler Durden always spoke about self destruction as the answer, that in order to build something new you had to tear everything previous down. In truth I had enough with the previous years imitation and all the associated attention, sure I had lots of girls liking me but I felt like a fraud, a hollow shell, all physical changes in how I acted but really nothing of substance to back it up except the skills I had learnt and confidence gained which obviously I wanted to keep.

:down: continued below
 

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Something had to give and it did, my appearance changed which was an ******d reflection of what was going on inside. I grew my hair and in hindsight I basically went out to destroy all the foundations that I had built the year before, all the girls that liked me started critising my appearance, ‘white belt cut your hair you look awful, do you wash your hair, I preferred it when it was like last year etc’ By the way I did wash, I just wasn’t clean cut, I didn’t pay much attention to my hair etc, basically what I did was a U-turn. Were as the year before I had been trying to impress, this year I was doing exactly the opposite I was pulling away as much as possible, I was being critised in many ways by girls for letting myself go. What they wanted was the chiseled and clean cut ‘white belt’ back. I remember that throughout all this I was still remarkably confident as I sifted through bull**** and ignored comments from girls that were blatantly assignations of some sort or another.

One of the most memorable ones was a girl who told me that I was going bald; I took this thick to begin with checking the mirror etc. What I did was to analyze her motives and factor in what type of person she was, i.e. a girl once said that I was going bald, now in the beginning I took this really thick. What I did was to examine her motives and factor in what she was like as a peron basically a ****. After I had done this and looked at my hair objectively I knew it was all bull****. The strange thing is that this girl was the one that liked me the most, whenever her friends got a car she used to make them drive past my house in the hope of seeing me. How or why she thought by acting in the way she did would get me in some way to like her I don’t know. What I did take from it was that she was bad news and I never bothered with her since. I also learned to be choosey about whose advice and opinions that I took, if it was good advice I tried not to be too proud to take it and if it was derogative I had to actively discourage negative thoughts by forming proper cooping mechanisms.

Tough Choices:nono:
The year was over and I had yet to get my appearance sorted, next stage was 1st year at university. By this point I was 6ft 1 and I was now almost a fully fledged man. The year before had taught me a lot, I learnt a lot about ‘the game’ but more importantly I got a fuller understanding of what I wanted in life and who I was as a person. I formed proper and mechanisms for stabilizing and controlling my thoughts and my frame, this was not my intention, in fact I didn’t even know that it was an area that needed sorting out, what it was a by product of giving a one fingered salute to the system and going out on a limb required me to develop my inner resources. Despite the fact that I pulled completely back from my status of ‘sexy,’ the girls still really liked me, I did not bend to their will, I did what I wanted which is prob the reason for their continued interest.

No matter I dropped them, at this point in my life I also had to make the decision to drop a very good friend for 15 years. We were at a cross roads, I was trying to live a life of self improvement (the goal all along even with the self destruction) and build myself up into the kind of person that I wanted to be. He on the other hand was doing drugs, always looking for the easy way out and living in a world of quick fixes which will in time come crashing down. Ideologically we were incompatible, he got the hint. We parted ways with me knowing that unless he changed we would never hang out proper again and that is how it has been ever since. If he were to change I would renew the friendship in a heart beat but he is so far of that as yet and I find it hard to believe that he will change anytime soon.

Adding more bricks
Anyway it was the first year of university, I had decided to cut my hair and get myself sorted again because after all, the long haired disheveled look was not me, the ‘real me’ lay somewhere in between being groomed and looking like a pig. With my personality grounded I really was a different person in many ways, skills that I had learnt such as eye contact, body language and conversational skills where now not only second nature but they became easily transferable into every corner of my life, I wouldn’t reserve my wit solely for girls:up: , I would use it on everyone. I was unrecognizable in many ways my walk was natural not imitated, I was dominant because I was confident enough to let myself emerge from the shy exterior, (I am still a tad shy but have come along way) my state of mind was at the very least better than it ever had been.

One of the most important pieces of the jig saw that came into place at this time was that I did not judge myself anymore on the basis of whether I was popular with girls. Sure being attractive and having lots of girls flocking around you is great and to be honest there is not much to compare with when you know that you have the pick of the girls,(which I do) but that is not what really matters. It was at this point that I began to get other hobbies such a weight lifting, I decided to pay particular attention to my conversational skills not only to improve with girls but to improve socially. My search for knowledge expanded beyond the realms of girls into the power of the mind over the body, the psychology of competition, biology, theology you name it.

The combined effect
All the skills that I have learned have had a combined effect. They worked in synergy with one another in that the sum of the combined effects of my tools is greater than they ought to be when added up. In real terms by incorporating and developing my personality I have become a better person and above all else much more mature. My original goal to become a ‘babe magnet’ is not so much a focal point in my life, sure it is a substantial part and I will continue with my endeavors to improve with the girls but being a ‘Don Juan’ can sound a bit one dimensional. A proper Don Juan is a mature man, not by virtue of age but by attitude. A willingness to learn, he is not a jerk but has the potential to discover ‘the jerks’ secret with the ladies and incorportate it within his life and strive forward. I said earlier that one day that I would eclipse all those bums in my school, well I probably have but to be honest I don’t care about them anymore, what matters is what I do, what I learn and how I develop. I never want to stop maturing and becoming a better person and one thing for sure is that all good Don Juans will be wanting to do the same.

Maturing
And this my friends is the most important discovery that I have made, not about body language, kino, twisting her words, frame control but rather that being a Don Juan is a process. There is no fixed ending but rather only a continual learning and maturing process, be confident in your success, don’t worry about the past but learn from it, look to the future and think how can you improve and enjoy yourself. Development takes time, there will be plenty of mistakes etc but don’t give up, give yourself the time to change, this is something that learnt from bodybuilding and it also applies not only to the game but to every aspect of your life. Keep maturing and growing, that is the essence of a ‘white belt’ an eagerness to learn but it is also value held by Don Juans of every skill level.

Good luck!:cool:
 

Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
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No offence but reality check buddy.

Unless you actually like had sex with them, they probally didn't like ya.. and uh just because she was your best friend's gf wouldn't change if she liked ya or not.

Your just mental masturbating.. stop with the bullsh!t. You sound like a nerd. lol

I mean it's great to be able to talk to girls and make em laugh and like your company you need to do that obviously.. it's another thing to never touch them and tell yourself you have your pick of girls as your best friend is getting laid.

If you actually wanna know if you improved or not.. how often do you get laid compared to before you started to "improve"? Results will talk for ya.

And uh.. one thing I thought was a good point though.. was when you actually WERE trying to impress them they responded much better. This is a truth.. that's why the bible IMO is full of a lot of sh!t.
 

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Don Juan
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Bvbidd said:
No offence but reality check buddy.

Unless you actually like had sex with them, they probally didn't like ya.. and uh just because she was your best friend's gf wouldn't change if she liked ya or not.

Your just mental masturbating.. stop with the bullsh!t. You sound like a nerd. lol

I mean it's great to be able to talk to girls and make em laugh and like your company you need to do that obviously.. it's another thing to never touch them and tell yourself you have your pick of girls as your best friend is getting laid.

If you actually wanna know if you improved or not.. how often do you get laid compared to before you started to "improve"? Results will talk for ya.

And uh.. one thing I thought was a good point though.. was when you actually WERE trying to impress them they responded much better. This is a truth.. that's why the bible IMO is full of a lot of sh!t.
In truth I dont understand the point of your post. Who said anything about lays, my best friend getting laid, cold approaches etc I think you are taking out of it what you wanted and not what the post was intended to be about, I was talking about wising up...bud. If I wanted to talk about getting physical the post would have been titled, 'getting laid' ok ;)

As for the bible I think that it is spot on, IMO


Bvbidd said:
Alright..

Did you have sex with them or did you not have sex with them? Simple?

That's what this site is about.

And IMO, That's fvcking improvement.

Are you still a virgin?

If you are.. you didn' improve ANYTHING.

But hey, if it gets you to sleep at night to say you did.. then go right fvcken ahead. :rolleyes:
OK, you and your foreplay :rolleyes:
1. No not all of them
2. No this site is not devoted to purely sex, duh
3. Mmmh I dont get it
4. No
5. Surely it would require improvement to get from not holding with one girl to holding hands with the another, from hands to kissing....sex. Improvement is often a slow and gradual process.
6. OK thanks for validation slick :)
 
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Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
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Alright..

Did you have sex with them or did you not have sex with them? Simple?

That's what this site is about.

And IMO, That's fvcking improvement.

Are you still a virgin?

If you are.. you didn' improve ANYTHING.

But hey, if it gets you to sleep at night to say you did.. then go right fvcken ahead. :rolleyes:
 
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