When George becomes a DJ for a week in the opposite:
Jerry : Speaking of having it all ... Where were you?
George : I went to the beach. ( J and E exchange looks )
Jerry : Oh, the beach.
George : It's not working, Jerry. It's just not working.
Jerry : What is it that isn't working?
George : Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was
personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was
perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It all
became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've
ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the complete
opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect
of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.
( A waitress comes up to G )
Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.
George : Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever
worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna
on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted ... and a cup of tea.
Elaine : Well, there's no telling what can happen from this.
Jerry : You know chicken salad is not the opposite of tuna, salmon is the opposite
of tuna, 'cos salmon swim against the current, and the tuna swim with it.
George : Good for the tuna.
( A blonde looks at George )
Elaine : Ah, George, you know, that woman just looked at you.
George : So what? What am I supposed to do?
Elaine : Go talk to her.
George : Elaine, bald men, with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents,
don't approach strange women.
Jerry : Well here's your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being
intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them.
George : Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should.
Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be
right.
George : Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it
for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do
something!
( He goes over to the woman )
George : Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction.
Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me.
( G takes a deep breath )
George : My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
Victoria : I'm Victoria. Hi.
*Cut to G's car; G and Victoria driving
Victoria : Are you growing a beard?
George : Why shave every day? It just grows right back.
Victoria : I guess ...
George : I'm afraid I'm just not interested in how I present myself. If those kind of
superficialities are important to you, this probably isn't gonna work.
( A car cuts in in front of them, G has to make a sudden manouver )
Victoria : Hey watch, he just cut you off! Did you see that?!
George : Take it easy. Take it easy. It's not the end of the world.
* Cut to the movie theater; two young men are sitting behind G and Victoria
Man no.1 : Hey baby, how about a little tongue action, huh?
Man no.2 : Yeah, stick your tongue down his throat!
( They kick G and Victoria's seats )
Victoria : What are we gonna do? Shall we just move?
George : That won't be necessary.
( G gets up and turns towards the two men )
George : Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie!
And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna
show you what it's like! You understand me? Now, shut your mouths or I'll
shut'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because I
would love it!
( People applaud as G sits down again )
* Cut to G's car
Victoria : Are you sure you don't wanna come up, I mean, it's only nine thirty.
George : I don't think we should. We really don't know each other very well.
Victoria : Who are you, George Costanza?
George : I'm the opposite of every guy you've ever met.
Jerry : So you just did the opposite of everything?
George : Yes. And listen to this, listen to this; her uncle works for the Yankees and
he's gonna get me a job interview. A front office kind of thing. Assistant to
the travelling secretary. A job with the New York Yankees! This has been
the dream of my life ever since I was a child, and it's all happening because
I'm completely ignoring every urge towards common sense and good
judgment I've ever had. This is no longer just some crazy notion. Elaine,
Jerry, this is my religion.
Also in this episode he gets the job with the NYY and he also moves out of his parents house.
George usual self is an AFC. He decribes himself to be one after Elaine throw away his toupee:
George: "I tell you, when she threw that toupee out the window, it was the best thing that ever happened tome. I feel like my old self again. Totally inadequate, completely insecure, paranoid, neurotic, it's a pleasure."
