A little pook in my essay

[redspicyflag]

if ya guys aren't busy
criticize me

You really should this. Pretty good hook, eh? I had the task of taking a values survey during the first week of school. The little test gave me some insight. The next step was to write an essay on it. Who knows why? Probably to find out more about ourselves, or just to make us work. We had to rank the most important to least. And since I'm generous, I'll let you in on it.

Religion, a belief in something usually requiring faith and some sort of higher being(s). Let's start off at my lowest altitude. Even in the pre-survey, this value was at the bottom of my list. I'm a skeptic. I gotta see it to believe it. Even though I still go to church(sometimes), I doubt it. Actually, I doubt much of things. It seems that religion was important, it helped our race and culture develop when we could not explain everything. How else could the ancients explain a giant fireball in the sky? Now with science, it seems like extra baggage. People have persecuted and killed in the name of their god(s). Think about it, it's ridiculous. Morality is a good thing at least. Yet, logic and reason seem better in my eyes.

Money. They tell me it's what makes the world go around. People have killed and done horrible atrocities for greed of it. To me, money is just green paper. I despise what the greed of it can do to people, yet it can make a living. I can't find my happiness not in material goods. It would be an endless spiral. Like the Greek credo, " Nothing to excess." The pretest marked it as a nine, but I got an eight.

Power. I define it by how much you want to control everything. How much you want to manipulate. Power is good, but I'd rather go with the flow. You can't control external forces, such as the weather, but you have total control over yourself. You can choose to go to sleep early and feel great later. As you think you shall become. Do you really want to believe in life that you have no control over it? I was surprised when I ranked it as a two in my pre-survey, yet got a nine. I thought power was important, but I was wrong.

Family was number seven in my post. Very close to what I originally ranked it to six. I don't hate my family. They've supported me a lot. They've always been there and helped me off my feet. Without them, I'd probably be some orphan kid in a 3rd world country. What they've done for me is priceless. I just want to go out on my own. Be independent, go experience the world. It's a thorn in my side to be so dependent. At this moment family isn't that important to me, but I'm constantly changing.

The beauty in life. Aesthetics. Do you see the sunset as a pretty picture? Or fog as a enveloping blanket? It got number five on my test. Before, it was marked as a four. This value stood out to me. I can see beauty in everything. Realize that no moment is the same as the next, and will never be. Sit down, take a breath and clear your mind. Just take it all in. Even the little things, like a spiderweb or leaf, will seem like art. A bum on the street can tell so many stories. Boredom won't be so prevalent. So go out there and enjoy it.

Would you save a drowning boy? Or let him sink? Humanism is concern of the well-being for your fellow man. My post-test was a four, while my pre-test was ranked as a seven. Making other people happy makes me happy. Even little things, like helping a lady with her groceries or even smiling to brighten up somebody's day. Pure selflessness is impossible, but I try. I feel good when I help other people. Ironically, I'm both a Machiavellian and a humanist.

Sociability takes the bronze medal. When I ranked it before, it was as the fifth. Hanging out with friends is great. I also like meeting new people. You could define it as interaction with other human beings. Before, nervousness use to overcome my body. After a while, little by little I overcame this fear. There's a saying, "When old people die, it's like a library being burnt down." People's perspectives, ideas and dreams are formed from their unique journeys. It's not always about you. So why not learn a bit? Go out and enjoy your friends and family and even some new people.

I laughed when I discovered that fame's my second priority. Originally, it was my eight. Everyone wants to be known, appreciated and adored. They want to take pride and just be friendly with everyone. Life would be pretty dull if you were never noticed. So overcome your fear and go up on stage. I think of it as being a host. Life's a party, so an awesome host is well known. That would be spectacular if I was famous like James Brown or Michael Jordan. You only live once, so what have you got to lose?

First place goes to creativity. Prior to the quiz, this was in the third spot. How does one define creativity? I say the ability to express oneself in any way. You can't internalize all of yourself. Think of it as giving a part of yourself to the world. Personally, I like to dance or sing or play a musical instrument. If I'm really up to it, I can create. Creativity just seems like a part of life. Even the animals can enjoy a beautiful melody. Without it, you're not human.

I gave you a little insight of who I am and what I'm about. I even learned a bit about myself, and enjoyed it. Now you know how I stacked these choices up. These were my values, but I'm constantly changing. It probably won't be the same in a year. I end my essay with a quote by anon, "If you are not changed by life, then you are not living life! Only those who are not altered by life are those totally unaware of it!"

 

[kickureface]

You really should this.

that was a good hook.

 

[jonwon]

if ya guys aren't busy
criticize me

You are wise behond your years

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Well written young man, I'd give you an 'A'.

However, may I suggest you reconsider your views on Power? You say,

I define it by how much you want to control everything.

This is a common misperception. The term "Power" gets a bad wrap since it's almost universally associated with negative connotations. Intersetingly enough, this is in itself a way of using Power - by delegitimizing it's influence and fostering the belief that others should too, the idea is you gain more usable Power.

A better definition for Power that you might consider is this: Power is not the amount of control you can exert over the lives of others, but rather, the amount of control you have in making your own, independent decisions for your own life.

I'd suggest reading The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. Do a report on this book and you'll blow the sox off your teacher.

 

[redspicyflag]

hmm thank you guys for the criticism
I'm planning to get an A on this

A better definition for Power that you might consider is this: Power is not the amount of control you can exert over the lives of others, but rather, the amount of control you have in making your own, independent decisions for your own life.

Rollo, I somewhat agree
but when power came to mind I thought of control freaks

 

[Last Man Standing]

Being a 16 y/o, you were ahead of me in your writing and skepticism, but be weary of the "new age" agenda - where so-called "reason/science" is above truth!!!!!

 

[redspicyflag]

Are you serious?

I got a 96/100 and a "thoughtful"
wow
I am disappointed in the grading

 

[nakedtwister]

Are you serious?

I got a 96/100 and a "thoughtful"
wow
I am disappointed in the grading

Remember that you're in highschool, son. Most of the teachers (at least public schools) don't really give a rat's ass about some kid's philosophy. If I were you, I'd act like a normal highschool student who gets good grades, and wait for college for this kind of stuff. But besides a very few grammar errors, you did a good job.


For a highschool student at least.

 

[MikeYikes122]

That was really well written.

I'm a professional writer and I used to get sh!t like that in high school all the time. When you get into English classes in college, you'll come to find that a lot of H.S. teachers don't really know much of what they're talking about.

 

[redspicyflag]

Why thank you guys
My efforts, I personally thought, were more to be critiqued than "thoughtful"

"The road is always better than the inn."
-Cervantes

This really speaks to me

 

[ChrizZ]

Remember that you're in highschool, son. Most of the teachers (at least public schools) don't really give a rat's ass about some kid's philosophy. If I were you, I'd act like a normal highschool student who gets good grades, and wait for college for this kind of stuff. But besides a very few grammar errors, you did a good job.


For a highschool student at least.

why?

 

[SinJester]

I'm a professional writer and I used to get sh!t like that in high school all the time. When you get into English classes in college, you'll come to find that a lot of H.S. teachers don't really know much of what they're talking about.

Thanks fvck for that!

 

[nakedtwister]

why?

Well what I mean is that you don't have to put in a whole lot of effort. Most of the time putting deep thought into an essay in highschool won't reep many rewards.