A little advice needed on making contact w/ a girl

[Wubbman]

I would like some ideas on making first (sort of) contact with this girl at my school. She is a freshman and I'm a senior. We are in band together and I met her in August but we haven't spoken since. Of course I see her in band but I also see her on the way to class. I'm planning on going up to her when I see her around campus on Monday and introducing myself and try to basically get my foot in the door. I think I already know what I want to say but any advice could help. Thanks.

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Say Hi and ask how she is.

 

[Wubbman]

Well see, I'm not sure she knows who I am. We've had eye contact and all, and I'm pretty sure she's interested, but I feel ackward just going up and saying hi, how are you. I was planning on say hey, aren't we in band together? or something along those lines. Thanks though.

 

[Logen]

Originally posted by LeviathanIYG
Say Hi and ask how she is.

i agree. actually going up to her and exchanging verbal versus is a great way to establish some sort of primary first person contact with somebody.

it's really quote simple. you just walk up to them and say "hi". now, she may respond. i would consider it contact if she ignored you, but that would be lead to a sour type of contact.

if she response with a "hi" back, and maybe a facial gestured called a "smilie" then i would definitely say you made contact.

try it out. remember, in order to make contact you must make sure the other person can reasonable hear you and know where you are in person.

i tried making contact with a girl by standing 20 feet away from her and starring at a wall. i said :"hi" and she did not response. i DID NOT make contact with her because she did not know i said “HI”, hence she could not response.

this was (you may want to jot this down) because i was trying to initiate contact (of what can be perceived as) with the wall itself. and that’s not possible because the wall is not an entity.

well, good luck. once again, walk up to her front side, that's the side where her face is pointing, and create a vocal gesture know as a word. this word she be "hi" or a more ornate opening statement. it's up to you.

have fun man!

 

[LeviathanIYG]

No because that sounds like a stupid pickup line that any guy would use.

I will walk up to a stranger and say "Hi, how are you?".

If you feel awkward saying "hi" to her how the hell are you ever going to seduce her.

Think logically man

It's like a process

and it all starts with you approaching

and.......

SAYING HI!!!

 

[Maybnoob]

Originally posted by Wubbman
Well see, I'm not sure she knows who I am. We've had eye contact and all, and I'm pretty sure she's interested, but I feel ackward just going up and saying hi, how are you. I was planning on say hey, aren't we in band together? or something along those lines. Thanks though.

have you had any eye contact?

 

[Wubbman]

Originally posted by Maybnoob
have you had any eye contact?

Yes, I've seen her checking me out. Leviathan, Its not that I feel ackward saying hi, its that I feel ackward talking to her w/o introducing myself. Only time will tell though. Thanks for the replies and anymore advice anyone has.

 

[LeviathanIYG]

"Hi how are you? Im Wubbman"

There you go.

 

[The Juan and only]

My advice would be to start working on your inner confidence as soon as possible...maybe try saying hi to some other girls first (one's you aren't interested in as it'll be easier) to give yourself a boost, and hopefully you'll realise that it isn't such a big deal.

I can see why you might be nervous but you need to get that out of your system to make the best impression on this girl. Read some of the articles on here (I recommend a lot of pook's posts) to help you along the way.

Another thing I will quickly comment on....
you seem to be thinking far too much, and let me tell you, visualising how things can go wrong will NOT help your confidence. You simply need to get some balls, start believing that you are the man and just go speak to her.
Remember, she would be LUCKY to go out with a guy like you, a don juan. You don't need to prove anything to her and you don't need to go out of your way to impress her, just be cool.

p.s stop with that "I'm pretty sure she's interested" crap...of course she's interested, you're a great guy for her and you need to believe that. Like I've said before, don't try to anaylse everything, wondering if a girl likes you - just assume she does and act accordingly.

 

[Wubbman]

Thanks for the replies. I'll post an update tomorrow.

 

[Emperiorjack]

Lol this thread has been useful for me.

 

[Wubbman]

Updated!

Update-success! I saw her today and went up and introduced myself. She was all smiles and we talked briefly. She didn't remember me from August so this was a good approach to take. I didn't get any numbers or anything (I wasn't trying to though), and sadly I don't know when I'll see her again.

What avenue should I take now? We're both on facebook and I guess I'll add her as a friend, but is facebook a good place to set up a date? I would really prefer to do it in person, but I guess if all else fails.... Thanks for any replies and info.

 

[Chemistry]

Maaaaaaaaaan, you're asking whether you should be sociable...........


You're quite fortunate that she's not made her mind up on you already because generally based on your initial actions you will be pigeonholed by people... i.e. the alpha male in the band will have been defined by the guy that was in there immediately talkin to all the girls... by being so out of touch you're lookin at being way down their tables...

I mean... you're in the same school and you're in the same band... that's a starting point for you, be inquisitive and ask questions conducting conversation around the things you can quite clearly see are of interest to her... think about what you would like to know about her and / or think about what questions you would like people to ask about you if you were in a band etc etc...


And step away from the PC... don't become another clingy fool on Facebook...you're not going to be f*ckin her via the PC, nor will you be initiating kino, kissing etc etc... in anything try to establish a physical element, I mean this is a girl, do you really just want to see her photo or do you wanna see a little more and have a little feel...

 

[Wubbman]

Thanks for the reply. I'm only just now becoming interested in her, hence the reason for wanting to make contact and all. I understand what you mean about pigeonholing though, but I don't think that will happen as she doesn't know anything about me, but if it does, oh well.

As for facebook, you are right, I certainly don't want to cling to it, but do you think it is ok to set up a date from there? I probably won't see her regularly until late January, and it would be nice to go out with her before then.

I don't mean to imply that I'm asking to be sociable, I just want advice on how to develop this without coming on too hard and scaring her off. That has happened to me with girls in the past. Thanks again for any replies and advice.

 

[Chemistry]

Why I said that was because you are having plenty of opportunities to talk to this girl... you see her in the corridor, in the band etc etc... you want to make contact? Its so ordinary to just say hello in passing someone...

If you insist on using Facebook for the fact that you might not see her until late Jan, I would suggest a quite general message to her to establish some rapport and keep you fresh in her mind... don't start sending loads of messages, declaring love or asking the girl out via that... use it as a means to get her number and elevate to the next level of contact... when you've got that THEN ask her out via the phone...

 

[Wubbman]

Ok, thanks for the info. I definately won't resort to facebook for much. Hopefully something lasting will come out of this. Thanks again. Anymore advice from anyone?