a guy's looks ain't the ticket

[ulsterman]

I think all aspiring DJs must learn that looks are not a woman's priority. A really desirable girl I know has just gotten engaged to a guy maybe 3 times her weight. Her parents announced it to me this morning as we left church, and, almost incredulously, I turned and looked at the prospective wedded couple; SHE is beautiful, with nearly flawless hair and skin, white teeth and, boy oh boy, what a posterior (which he can't keep his chubby hands off) whereas HE, by contrast, has pale, almost sickly skin, is devoid of body tone, nad has a few stragly chest hairs protruding from his unbuttoned shirt collar, and, worst of all, he looks like he had a pillow stuffed up his shirt, so huge and saggy is his belly. But hey, he's one heck of a guy. That's right. He's confident and witty. So instead of spending years working out, like I have, he just perfected his humour and affability. And now she has agreed to marry this oaf!

The lesson is this: amigos, do not underestimate the reality that women fall in love and lust with a man's persona rather than his body. Men fall in lust with women's bodies, and probably fall in love with their personalities BECAUSE they desire their bodies. And if good-looking guys have more success with babes than plain or ugly guys, it's probably their somewhat baseless confidence in their own appearance that gives them their self-assurance in the presence of the finest female specimens, and so the babes fall for their confidence rather than their appearance, by and large, even though these guys think it is their looks that do the trick for them.

Needless to say I was less than convincing in my congratulations. I felt more like commiserating the girl, but on reflection I wouldn't begrudge her to the guy. After all, he wants a babe just as much as anyone else does, so fair play to him, I say.

 

[Jay26]

Maybe he's rich?;p

Nah, looks play some part but for the most part it's confidence, looks can give confidence but of the two confidence is more important.

 

[ulsterman]

The weird thing is, she comes from a wealthier family than he does, so no, in this case I don't think it's money. Her daddy is just too rich for her to care, I would suppose. But you're right, it's the confidence thing. This guy believes in himself and he managed to make her believe in him too. At the end of the day, you must make a woman believe in you.

 

[MysteryWoman]

It matters to me, noway I'd be seen dead with an overweight guy. She either does not enjoy sex or is secretely a lesbian

 

[MR_PERFECT]

Looks matter!

This girl was probably walked all over by other guys, so she settled down with the fat ugly slob who treated her like she was "special". When some hot guy comes along and shows some attention to her, she will cheat.

You can get a girl if you have money, but depending on how you look, you will have to work harder than a good-looking guy who is broke. Perfect example is Jennifer Lopez: Puffy had to work his a@@ off to eventually get her, but the guy on the video shoot got her pretty easily. So did the waiter and Ben Affleck.

Look at most famous women and who they date: J.LO, Halle Berry, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Anniston, Demi Moore, Brittany Spears all date guys that are either better looking than they are or borderline better and the women make more money. Jennifer Garner was about a 5 before she started lifting weights and toning up. Now, Garner is about a 8 or 9 and the first thing she does is dump her husband who will eventually be replaced by a better looking guy.

 

[ulsterman]

Mr Perfect, I'm not sure celebrities are a good guide in all of this, as their lives tend to be abnormal anyway - just consider Julia Roberts. She falls in love with every man she meets, almost, ranging from the ugly to the not-so-ugly. But you could be right - the girl I mentioned mightn't be in love with him at all. She might be in love with being in love, a wedding day, marriage, etc. Then again, she may underestimate her own beauty or the guy may remind her of her father (he is a quite like him in many ways) or perhaps she sees potential for improvement in him. Or maybe she's just plain crazy about him for the reason I originally proffered. Could it be the case that the personality maxim is more applicable to mature girls as opposed to teenagers?

 

[MR_PERFECT]

Ulsterman, I used celebrities because we all know them. I personally don't know people that don't date within a point or two of their position on the looks scale. The one or two women I can think of, it's like you stated, they really need to be in a relationship no matter who it's with.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Don't look for the lazy way out make the best of what you have got. As the better you look, the more attention you will get and thus be more confident. Which makes life a lot easier.

 

[Bubzeebub]

I don't know about this one. I think most people (men and women included) have a picture of what they want. Like when 2 people walk into a crowded room and their eyes meet. Love at first sight? WRONG! Those 2 people already have an idea of what (physically anyways) is appealing to them.
I recall reading on this site the case of the Asian guy who got dissed by some white chick at a club. The dude probably didn't stand a chance on his best day. Not because the guy necessarily resembled the bottom of your shoes but because he didn't match the profile of the kind of guy the girl was interested in.
Having said all that, the chubby guy who bagged the probably fit part of her unspoken required qualities like height, ethnicity and all that. Then he sealed the deal with the personality and the way he treated her.

-Bub

 

[becker]

I didn't think Jennifer Garner was a 5 before she worked out. You always knew she was not that bad looking before, and that she was sort of waiting to break out of her shell. She looks nice in movies, but seems to have her moments when she's not as gorgeous as others, sort of like J-Lo, who has her moments, but other times, you can see she's not all that without heavy make-up.

Anyways to get back on the subject here, don't forget that some of these overweight slobs might have once been pretty decent looking guys, but after they got the girl hooked on them, they just sort of let themselves go a little. I've seen this scenario quite a bit too, and it's often overlooked.

I know a girl now with a BF who is a 5 at best in looks, but she's like an 8 or 9 easy. They've been together for a long time, so perhaps physically, he's not what he was 5 years ago, but she's stuck with him.

Remember, if you've been around a person for a long time, you don't always notice the changes they're going through (like going from skinny to fat, etc.). Remember when your relatives had not seen you for a long time and they say "boy, how you've grown!", while everyone who has been around you for a while has not noticed much change. If you've gained weight or even lost weight, most of the people who notice will not be ones who see you all the time, unless the change is totally drastic, like losing 200 pounds.

 

[htemorp]

Looks wear off, personality grows on you. If you have a very good personality, that in term will make you look amazing. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But I must admit, things are so much easier if you're good looking with good personality.

 

[Sojourner]

Question: Why would a HB date and eventually marry a big fat slob of a man? Could it because he's the best lover (big thick co*k perhaps?) she's ever had? Could it also be that she feels protected by a big man? Or could it be that she's an insecure woman who feared marrying an Adonis type dude whom every HB drools over and could steal him from her? Only by interviewing her can you learn of the real reason why she's with this tub of lard.

 

[Deep Dish]

Women are entirely social beings, and derive their social value by how much male attention they get. Atop a social heirarchy in Womaniverse is married, followed by engaged, has boyfriend, single, the old maid. Women will do quite literally anything to avoid being the old maid, and marriage is the ultimate symbol that "Hey ladies, look, I can get MEN! My femininity is so strong I can ensnare a man for LIFE!"

Women dream of their wedding day precisely because it is the one day they are princess and ascend to the highest social status, married. It is their biggest orgasm, perhaps their only true one.

Society is their true motivation in getting married. Society is the book of woman. Women are more interested in society than an interesting man.

When women finish college and, perhaps, after spending a few more years single, their priorities change. It's commonly mistaken that older women "mature" and "realize" what they "really want", and thus go for the nice guys. No. They simply change their priorities.

And if good-looking guys have more success with babes than plain or ugly guys, it's probably their somewhat baseless confidence in their own appearance that gives them their self-assurance in the presence of the finest female specimens, and so the babes fall for their confidence rather than their appearance, by and large, even though these guys think it is their looks that do the trick for them.

I used to be ugly/plain with no confidence [but great personality]. That obviously didn't get me anywhere.

I used to be ugly/plain with confidence [with great personality]. That STILL didn't get me anywhere. A little somewhere, but not anywhere.

I'm now handsome with confidence [with great personality]. That made all the difference.

Looks do matter A LOT. Not everything, but a lot.

 

[mahon83050]

Who the hell knows? We will drive ourselves nuts trying to figure out women. I don't think women are as visually motivated, but when a hot women is with a ugly sort of guy, it could be insecurity. Some girls do not want to be with guys who are better looking than them. I.e, I take classes on Sundays to help prepare for the Gre's. There is one cute chick in there and 4 other guys including myself. Now, I am around a 6 or 7 also, but there is another guy in the class who I will admit is better looking than me. However this girl seems to flirt with me more and talks to me more than the other guy. It could very well be, yea she finds him hotter than me, but feels he is too good looking for her. I, on the other hand are more towards her level. BTW, I see mismatched couples quite often, saw one today actually.

Somethings are just better trying not to figure out. This is off the subject, but in the gym I always see the same fat asses lifting weights and not doing cardio. Don' t these slobs know, If they are an endomorph they should be concentrating on cardio instead of pumping iron. Like I said, somethings are worth rationalizing.

 

[htemorp]

However this girl seems to flirt with me more and talks to me more than the other guy. It could very well be, yea she finds him hotter than me, but feels he is too good looking for her.

That must be why girls always talk to less attractive guys in the group instead of me at parties!

 

[Sojourner]

Insecure women are everywhere. Some of the hottest looking chicks are the most insecure and they are with bu*t ugly men.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Studies say suggest that men are more visually turned on than women. Although I think this has to be misunderstood, I know women who won't date a guy because the mole on his face irritates them or they don't like the shape of this eyebrows e.t.c.
I think what they mean is that men get sexually aroused quicker through visual tendancies, whilst women with it is more combined with visual and touch.

 

[Sojourner]

Men want to have sex right away. An attractive woman makes his member stand at attention. Women love sex just as much as men, but they're willing to wait a bit longer. If a man can arouse her emotions and can cuddle and caress her and engages her in intense foreplay, she's putty in his hands.