Pepe Le Pew
Don Juan
A SEDUCTION QUESTION ANSWERED
Dear Ron and David,
When I'm dating a woman and having plenty of sex, other
women seem more interested in me--I've seen this many times.
So now that I'm alone, how can I get the same thing to
happen?
Brad
Dear Brad,
You have put your finger on a well-known phenomenon--it
seems SO much easier to get women when you are already with
someone. And yes, you can have at least some of that magic,
even when you are single, so listen up.
When you are a dateless wonder, you tend to be looking for
specific things when you approach or interact with women.
Let's look at some of the things you are looking for:
her to tell you you are okay
sex
her to smile and be nice
a good interaction
her phone number
a feeling of being "the man" because it went well
..and much more.
All these wants boil down to one desire: the desire for
approval. Getting sex, or anything else on the list, gives
you an approved-of feeling. You can stand a little taller.
You allow yourself to feel a little better about yourself.
You are freed from having to think about sex for a while.
And you stop looking for women's approval.
This is what happens when you have a steady supply of sex.
You stop seeking women's approval. And the moment you do
that--the moment you stop trying to GET APPROVAL FROM WOMEN,
you are free with them, and they are free to like you and
interact with you. Not seeking their approval takes some of
the "weird energy" out of the interaction. It leaves you
free to be curious, funny, playful, admiring--all the things
women find seductive.
Secondly, when you have a steady supply of sex, you no
longer find yourself trying to PREVENT things from happening
with women.
You stop tying to prevent:
her not liking you
her rejecting you
things going badly in the interaction
pauses or awkwardness in the conversation
getting blown off
..etc.
All these things you try to prevent boil down to one desire:
the desire for control in your interactions with women.
That, in turn, makes women feel like you are controlling
(because you are, duh) and causes them to want to get away
from you. Wanting to control puts a "weird energy" into the
interaction. When you are getting sex on a regular basis,
you aren't worried about the interactions you have with
women getting "out of control," so you are less controlling.
Once again, this makes you PROFOUNDLY more attractive to
women. Because you are not controlling in the interaction,
the woman doesn't have to fight you or try to get control
back, so she's free to simply interact and enjoy being with
you.
Fortunately, you can have at least some of this freedom with
women, even if you don't have a lover right now. Just keep
reminding yourself to let go of wanting women's approval,
and to let go of trying to control women.
Dear Ron and David,
When I'm dating a woman and having plenty of sex, other
women seem more interested in me--I've seen this many times.
So now that I'm alone, how can I get the same thing to
happen?
Brad
Dear Brad,
You have put your finger on a well-known phenomenon--it
seems SO much easier to get women when you are already with
someone. And yes, you can have at least some of that magic,
even when you are single, so listen up.
When you are a dateless wonder, you tend to be looking for
specific things when you approach or interact with women.
Let's look at some of the things you are looking for:
her to tell you you are okay
sex
her to smile and be nice
a good interaction
her phone number
a feeling of being "the man" because it went well
..and much more.
All these wants boil down to one desire: the desire for
approval. Getting sex, or anything else on the list, gives
you an approved-of feeling. You can stand a little taller.
You allow yourself to feel a little better about yourself.
You are freed from having to think about sex for a while.
And you stop looking for women's approval.
This is what happens when you have a steady supply of sex.
You stop seeking women's approval. And the moment you do
that--the moment you stop trying to GET APPROVAL FROM WOMEN,
you are free with them, and they are free to like you and
interact with you. Not seeking their approval takes some of
the "weird energy" out of the interaction. It leaves you
free to be curious, funny, playful, admiring--all the things
women find seductive.
Secondly, when you have a steady supply of sex, you no
longer find yourself trying to PREVENT things from happening
with women.
You stop tying to prevent:
her not liking you
her rejecting you
things going badly in the interaction
pauses or awkwardness in the conversation
getting blown off
..etc.
All these things you try to prevent boil down to one desire:
the desire for control in your interactions with women.
That, in turn, makes women feel like you are controlling
(because you are, duh) and causes them to want to get away
from you. Wanting to control puts a "weird energy" into the
interaction. When you are getting sex on a regular basis,
you aren't worried about the interactions you have with
women getting "out of control," so you are less controlling.
Once again, this makes you PROFOUNDLY more attractive to
women. Because you are not controlling in the interaction,
the woman doesn't have to fight you or try to get control
back, so she's free to simply interact and enjoy being with
you.
Fortunately, you can have at least some of this freedom with
women, even if you don't have a lover right now. Just keep
reminding yourself to let go of wanting women's approval,
and to let go of trying to control women.