A good site to find a marriage partner

[Marc8]

Hi all,

I am 39 and I am looking for my future wife.
Unfortunately, all dating sites I know ask for pictures first which I think is not suitable.

I myself would not want to see the picture of my potential life partner first, but rather ask questions in writing at the beginning. If we seem matching, we still would exchange our pictures in a second step.

And I am certainly not looking for a hookup opportunity which I can have easily in city where I am living in. So it is really a serious marriage plan I am pursuing.

If anybody has recommendations, please let me know

Thanks
Marc

 

[Jack22]

 

[Jack22]

Marc

Instead of a dating site, it might be a better idea to find a Pen Pal through a writing exchange program if you're really interested it not seeing her first, and it's also a bit more intimate.

 

[SW15]

I think @Marc8 has a misguided mentality. Wifing women in the West is a losing proposition. No matter where in the World he is, he is better off meeting women in person.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Just spin plates until you find a girl thats worth leaving the rest of the plates. It might take a while but its possible.

 

[Marc8]

alright...thanx so far.

So let me disclose a bit on my person and my previous experience:

Finding women for an affair has never been hard for me. In fact, I could do this even without any dating tool.
And (believe it or not) that is why I am in the position that I am honestly looking for a marriage/wife+ mutual children creation.

Also: Yes! Growing up in one of the centers in one of these major world cities, I have been all my life with people from "all over the world" and I know that money is THE MAIN incentive in MANY CASES if you connect with a women online.

However, I know that there are also women around there who are looking for an honest arrangement, although it is not that frequent if they have crossed the 30s.

 

[Marc8]

... Wifing women in the West is a losing proposition. No matter where in the World he is, he is better off meeting women in person.

--> And of course I was planning to meet the women in person as soon as it seems "authentic"

 

[Marc8]

Marc the thing is. No matter what girl bares children for you. It is no garentee. Once a women is bred. They change. Also when children are about 5-7 they often times check out. Right back to the internet life.

alright...so summing up and conluding, the message is: .....?


( you can be upfront. I am prepared for the truth )

 

[Jack22]

The mano-sphere and sites like so suave do not have a positive attitude towards marriage, recently the community has taken on a more pessimistic (some may say realistic) idea of modern marriage being foolhardy. According to the content that is out there that subscribes to the red-pill praxeology, your manner of thinking is flawed. Women fall in love with WHAT you are, not who you are. Not using pictures, or any other form of peacocking would be working against you. Maybe you want to conceal your wealth, charming looks, or whatever it may be, you must realize that that is what women are primarily attracted to in a relationship. There is an overabundance of men such as your self who go into a relationship seeking a "romantic" partner who is your equal, but fail to realize that women don't want a "romantic equal", they want a man superior to themselves.

A lot of our content is built upon the presumption that there is no "one" special girl, women are the marble and you're the sculptor, with the right tools you can bring out the best in her.

If you've been out of dating for some time, the situation has changed quite a bit, and there are many long time users of this forum that are still trying to re-orient themselves.

Regarding your request, we can't help you too much without you also describing your situation, and what sort of woman you're aiming for.

 

[corrector]

alright...thanx so far.

So let me disclose a bit on my person and my previous experience:

Finding women for an affair has never been hard for me. In fact, I could do this even without any dating tool.
And (believe it or not) that is why I am in the position that I am honestly looking for a marriage/wife+ mutual children creation.

Also: Yes! Growing up in one of the centers in one of these major world cities, I have been all my life with people from "all over the world" and I know that money is THE MAIN incentive in MANY CASES if you connect with a women online.

However, I know that there are also women around there who are looking for an honest arrangement, although it is not that frequent if they have crossed the 30s.

So you are used to cheating with other married women, say that is the easiest thing in the world to do, and now want to get married yourself and go through some bizzare thing that may have worked in the 90s when you had dial up internet? You would either have to lie to your future spuce or find someone with no self respect. You need to sort out your own issues first.

 

[kavi]

bruh...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Going into the dating market and "looking for a wife" in our culture is a big fail. You come to the table with a "neediness" and desire for a woman to become a wife. The daters will take advantage of this desire in you.

Your best bet might be becoming a church member in a church which has a priority of good marriage. Observe the members for time, learn them. Perhaps in that environment in time you will see a few women worthy of being a wife. You won't really find it in our dating market, because the dating market is exactly what it is.

 

[sangheilios]

If you are actually looking for a woman who is potentially wife material and would value family, children, etc. I would avoid online dating sites. The only exceptions I could cite would be christian dating sites. I'd honestly say you should consider going to a church setting that you feel comfortable with. Many of the women there are obviously going to most likely share values similar to yours.

Based upon my observations, women in the U.S are often times more focused on themselves, their careers, etc. and honestly don't really place all that much value in marriage, children or trying to find a good man. Many of the major metros you will find this attitude and it's a bit sad because these women are behaving in a manner that contradicts their own innate biological programming and instincts. There is a reason why women in the business world have astronomical rates of mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, whereas men in these fields are found to show the opposite.

Some areas of the country you can find women who still value traditional marriages, family, etc. Again, any place where church is a part of the local culture would be a good fit, there are plenty of options here.

 

[corrector]

Going into the dating market and "looking for a wife" in our culture is a big fail. You come to the table with a "neediness" and desire for a woman to become a wife. The daters will take advantage of this desire in you.

Your best bet might be becoming a church member in a church which has a priority of good marriage. Observe the members for time, learn them. Perhaps in that environment in time you will see a few women worthy of being a wife. You won't really find it in our dating market, because the dating market is exactly what it is.

A pastor of such a church would refuse to marry him or endorse anything relating to him and he would have to elope unless he gets right with God. They dont marry unbelievers with believers.

 

[Zimbabwe]

If you want a marriage partner online is not the place to look, develop a social circle and meet women from that.

Online dating is massive timesink and usually a complete waste of time for the average joe. Not only do men outnumber women on these sites/apps greatly, meaning more competition, women often have unrealistic standards and expectations of whom they can attract. That's not even getting to the fact many are just on there for validation are have no real intention of ever meeting up.

 

[sangheilios]

I think it's a fail in general. You're right about the neediness mindset. This site is all about self-improvement and taking the focus off of needing a woman. Yet there is a weird obsession with marriage on Sosuave.

I personally feel that on a deeper level most men want to be able to find a good woman to marry and raise a family with. There is a reason that this was the norm for cultures across the world for literally thousands of years, it's only the past few decades we've really started to see this change.

With that said, it's not a good place mentally for a man to look at every single woman he crosses paths with as potentially being "the one". It comes from a place of neediness and naivety, at the end of the day this girl you've gone on a few dates with is still a stranger in many ways. Men need to learn how to filter out for certain behaviors, some of these are very easy to spot but others may take quite a bit of time and know how in order to identify. Many women today in my opinion are not relationship or marriage material, but yet droves of men will still desperately seek out acceptance and approval from them.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I personally feel that on a deeper level most men want to be able to find a good woman to marry and raise a family with. There is a reason that this was the norm for cultures across the world for literally thousands of years, it's only the past few decades we've really started to see this change.

With that said, it's not a good place mentally for a man to look at every single woman he crosses paths with as potentially being "the one". It comes from a place of neediness and naivety, at the end of the day this girl you've gone on a few dates with is still a stranger in many ways. Men need to learn how to filter out for certain behaviors, some of these are very easy to spot but others may take quite a bit of time and know how in order to identify. Many women today in my opinion are not relationship or marriage material, but yet droves of men will still desperately seek out acceptance and approval from them.

I feel like there's a big portion of shame coming from any "dating advice" community when it comes to "not looking desperate." (Ie needing a relationship makes you unattractive!)

I think there's a very fine balance here that isn't always communicated clearly, either from the person giving advice or the person interpreting it.

 

[Marc8]

Hi all,

Thanks for your advices so far.

Let me start first with one quote:

So you are used to cheating with other married women, say that is the easiest thing in the world to do, and now want to get married yourself and go through some bizzare thing that may have worked in the 90s when you had dial up internet? Y

--> In a way: Yes. That is true. However, I had never insisted on "cheating" with other married women. It was the way that these women were (initally) conveying the picture of a "former" relationship which was not working anymore because the man had been "the bad" guy which eventually had been the utlimate reason why the women did not have any other choice than finding another lover. Sometimes, I started quitting thesese affairs when finding out that there was indeed a husband who was worrying about his wife (and often children too). I had never pretended to be wanting a long-term relationship or marriage for the sake of securing sexual intercourse.

So my first message: What you guys are saying here is TRUE. And even it is NOT (being) represented in our world media, it is still true. Meaning on the other hand: The message conveyed through press and social media is WRONG.

I had never felt any kind of bad conscious and guilt of the women I had been with towards their men. Sometimes I felt even the opposite: They kept complaining that life had been not fair to them because e.g. she assumed her man's private part had a smaller size than average or sometimes the women even seemed to be enjoying making their husband worry.

My educational background is both metric and qualitative, and I am following the fundamental patterns of epistomolgy which means I will always be open and delighted to accept objections, either theoretical or emperical. This means, I agree to your points not because I am a male, but because it is an objective truth.

There is that (probably new) unwritten law that one should NEVER generalize. But there is a more fundamental law which tells that a causel relationship is likely to be true if there is a significant number of cases confirming this causal relationship. And if the theory behind coressponds to this relationship it is even more likely to be valid.

And what it very interesting for me is that today I thought about using the "religious approach" you suggested. This means finding a woman out of a religious community who would share fundamental values (of virtues). I even would go for another religion than Chrstianity if the women was authentic in believing in fundemantal values, but I was brought ob in an ocidentyl Christian cultural background. Therefore it might be easier for me to find a women there.

I guess these Christian dating sites are not recommendable. right?
I feel it is just a different "packaging" but the same content and deceiving like all the other major dating sites. Do you agree?

 

[Marc8]

Women fall in love with WHAT you are, not who you are. Not using pictures, or any other form of peacocking would be working against you.

also commenting on this: Very well said. How often did I hear this statement from a woman: "He is not the same anymore who he had been when I married him"

 

[Marc8]

Women fall in love with WHAT you are

and expanding this thought, nowadays a marriage with planned children is doomed to fail. Because eventually no man would stil be the same what he was prior to giving birth. The source for offspring.

After giving birth, the man would loose this function automatically.