norwood
New Member
Hi guys,
I just joined this forum after reading the site for a few months now. The thing is, I'm 20 years of age and I've never been kissed. There's a few reasons for this, I went to an all boys school, never had any female friends, but the main reason is that i'm naturally shy.
When I got to college, I thought things would change. However, I found it really hard to speak to people. Because I was so shy, I always got tongue tied when I spoke to new people. This made conversation with people awkward for both of us, and understandably made them want to bail. I didn't really have any friends in college for the first couple of years. I experienced depression for the first time in my life.
Until I decided enough was enough and I basically just accepted that to break out of this situation I had to accept that I was going to make a fool of myself around people, and accept all of the failures. I realised that I cared way too much about what people thought of me. I thought that if I even made the slightest mistake, they would think I was stupid or something.
Thank god I learned my lesson. Friends are no longer a problem, I have lots of them, and I'm a major social 'player' (for a lack of a better term) in the class now.
OK, enough of my background, here's my specific problem. On the first day of college, back when I was shy, I noticed that one of the girls in the class was looking at me from across the room. I decided not to stare, so I looked away, but when I glanced back, she was still staring at me. Again, I looked away and back again and she was still looking at me. Immediately, I thought the obvious. Strangely, she didn't make any attempt to approach me at this stage. I kind of forgot about the incident after a while.
As the various groups of friends formed in the class, people started to realise that I was an outsider. I carried this label for almost two years. I started to think that when that girl realised this, that she would lose all interest in me. For another year, I noticed no interest in her.
After two years, I started to integrate with the class more and they finally got to know me. Over the next year or so, I gradually got more and more comfortable with the people in the class and began to lose the 'outsider' label somewhat. I found that these people were very understanding. I have finally escaped my past and proved to people that their first impressions were wrong.
As I started to integrate more, I started to notice more little signs coming from this girl, after basically two years of ignoring me. She smiled when she talked to me, she invited me to lunch, I noticed her staring at me a lot.
I had an oppurtunity last week to speak to her alone for almost an hour, and after that we went to luch (with others, we weren't alone at lumch). Now, we're basically at the stage where we're flirting whenever we speak with each other. There was a class night out a couple of weeks ago and half way through the night, she came over to me and started speaking to me. She started leaning on me and tugging at me subtley to bring me closer to her. I couldn't really bring it any further because we were in a group of people. I think I can safely say that she definitely wants me.
I like her to. Now, I'm wondering how to take this further. She rarely comes on nights out and she's almost always surrounded by friends.
How can I make it happen with her?
Thanks a lot for any replies
I just joined this forum after reading the site for a few months now. The thing is, I'm 20 years of age and I've never been kissed. There's a few reasons for this, I went to an all boys school, never had any female friends, but the main reason is that i'm naturally shy.
When I got to college, I thought things would change. However, I found it really hard to speak to people. Because I was so shy, I always got tongue tied when I spoke to new people. This made conversation with people awkward for both of us, and understandably made them want to bail. I didn't really have any friends in college for the first couple of years. I experienced depression for the first time in my life.
Until I decided enough was enough and I basically just accepted that to break out of this situation I had to accept that I was going to make a fool of myself around people, and accept all of the failures. I realised that I cared way too much about what people thought of me. I thought that if I even made the slightest mistake, they would think I was stupid or something.
Thank god I learned my lesson. Friends are no longer a problem, I have lots of them, and I'm a major social 'player' (for a lack of a better term) in the class now.
OK, enough of my background, here's my specific problem. On the first day of college, back when I was shy, I noticed that one of the girls in the class was looking at me from across the room. I decided not to stare, so I looked away, but when I glanced back, she was still staring at me. Again, I looked away and back again and she was still looking at me. Immediately, I thought the obvious. Strangely, she didn't make any attempt to approach me at this stage. I kind of forgot about the incident after a while.
As the various groups of friends formed in the class, people started to realise that I was an outsider. I carried this label for almost two years. I started to think that when that girl realised this, that she would lose all interest in me. For another year, I noticed no interest in her.
After two years, I started to integrate with the class more and they finally got to know me. Over the next year or so, I gradually got more and more comfortable with the people in the class and began to lose the 'outsider' label somewhat. I found that these people were very understanding. I have finally escaped my past and proved to people that their first impressions were wrong.
As I started to integrate more, I started to notice more little signs coming from this girl, after basically two years of ignoring me. She smiled when she talked to me, she invited me to lunch, I noticed her staring at me a lot.
I had an oppurtunity last week to speak to her alone for almost an hour, and after that we went to luch (with others, we weren't alone at lumch). Now, we're basically at the stage where we're flirting whenever we speak with each other. There was a class night out a couple of weeks ago and half way through the night, she came over to me and started speaking to me. She started leaning on me and tugging at me subtley to bring me closer to her. I couldn't really bring it any further because we were in a group of people. I think I can safely say that she definitely wants me.
I like her to. Now, I'm wondering how to take this further. She rarely comes on nights out and she's almost always surrounded by friends.
How can I make it happen with her?
Thanks a lot for any replies