This is something I have to chime in on. I've suffered attention deficit disorder all my life and have always had a tendancy to fidget and get distracted easily. Rather than hold eye contact and move with purpose, I'd look around the room at everything that moved or made a sound, play with my shirt cuffs, tap on the table and things like that.
I wasn't really aware of it until recently. Like most women I date, there was one who started off with major interest, then rejected me out of nowhere. She explained that I appear nervous and on edge and she felt I was not the guy for her. I was actually very calm the whole time so was really confused why she got this impression, so I asked her. It turned out it was my bodylanguage and fidgetting. Despite my calm mindset, I was giving the impression of nervousness and low confidence, which of course is very offputting for a woman. I'd heard this before and I believe many of my rejections have been down to this and when asking family and friends, they all agreed that it's a habit they've known me do for many years and they too can see how it may be offputting.
It was quite a revelation for me. I looked back at videos of myself and for the first time, I saw exactly what they were talking about. And I have to say, my bodylanguage was very similar to the guy in this video.
I've been making some big changes since and people have been giving me positive feedback. Meanwhile, my dates have been going exceptionally well and I'm actually managing to retain high interest for a change.
It's all well and good saying we should relax and just be ourselves, but sometimes you really do need to pay attention to your actions and behaviour and make a conscious effort to change.
