Don Giovanni
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2002
- Messages
- 24
- Reaction score
- 4
Attraction was an idea I struggled with throughout my time here. We’ve all asked at one point or another whether someone was attracted to us or not. Figuring it out was a problem and many of us turned to the art of reading body language as a means of tackling the problem. I studied body language for a while with what I thought was great success. I could see different women exhibiting signs I had read up on, but then I became frustrated when signs would appear one day and disappear the other. It made no sense- there wasn’t always consistency. I started to develop a different perspective on attraction from then on.
Some women would eventually exhibit some of the signs of attractions over times if I worked on them with “DJ tactics,” but some wouldn’t. The interesting thing was that a good number of women did “convert” in some way if I played things right. It made sense to me- use what I’ve learned and results should come. I wondered, however, whether it was the new person that I was becoming that changed women’s opinion of me or the tactics I learned.
I eventually reached a point where I was no longer happy with my life despite a seeming increase in women who were interested in me. I stopped enjoying putting on my “game face” to talk to them. It had been very novel when I first began, but the thrill of it had long since disappeared. So, I slowly began to stop putting on my game face and sat there rather quiet at times around large groups of people. Interestingly enough, however, I continued to be loud and extroverted with a few that I had become familiar with- these were my true friends. Something lifted from my chest and anxiety that I never realized I had been holding, left me. I can’t say that I was always happy and I sometimes missed the attention of people I used to entertain, because their attention shifted quickly want I stopped trying to make them laugh; only my friends stuck around when the act stopped. I expected a steep drop in the number of women attracted to me, but interestingly such a steep drop did not occur. There were some who initially flaked off, but oddly enough more women became attracted to me.
Do you remember all the body language I learned? I finally realized that it didn’t work quite the way I imagined it would at first. I had originally thought that I could somehow “mirror” a women’s body language and get her attracted to me and that I could analysis her body language to know exactly when I was doing something that increased attraction. I was into so much of this mumble jumble that I was constantly wondering what I did or didn’t do and why it had not produced the signs that I was looking for. Today, I gauge attraction with my gut instinct. I find it to be much more accurate than analyzing signs. If you do study body language, you will learn that reading body language is a natural ability that we all born with.
Most of the tactics that I learned, which require any real sort of thought usually never come up in the real world now. For the most part, the tactics that I read about usually just provided something solid for me to aim for. It gave me a sense of direction out there in the real world when I first started. It felt exhilarating to think that I had discovered secrets that gave me amazing powers over women. I do not doubt that the tactics that I employed when I first began gave the appearance of me being someone that I was not. It gave the illusion that I was confident, when in reality I was furiously trying to think two steps ahead to cut them off with another ****y and funny comment. Only now, after finally gaining some real confidence can I see that I have so much further to go. It amazes me to see all the little insecurities that I’ve hidden from myself for so long come to light.
My time here hasn’t all been about changes in attitude, however. I did realize a few things from my time here that will be very useful “tips” for some people. My first “tip” is to like more people. Have you ever noticed how your disposition towards a girl changes after she shows interest in you? Well, if you like more people, then the pool of girls that you have access to will naturally be enlarged. The more people you are attracted to, the more people will be attracted to you. My second “tip” is to show interest to your target and wait. If you are at a point where you no longer rely on tactics, then you’ve probably got in touch with the “gut instinct” that I mentioned. You know which girls are attracted to you, but there are some that do not even register in your gut. For those that you are not sure of, just make your presence known and wait. Some will eventually come around, but some won’t. Assuming that you’ve become a fairly confident person who goes to the gym to improve how you look, a good number will come around to you. As for those who do not come around, I can only say that they won’t really matter all that much to you this particular point I am describing. You will come to accept that there are some girls that you will not get and you will automatically move on when they don’t accept your advances. My third “tip” is to choose carefully whose advice you take. There are plenty of members on this board who offer advice ranging from tactics and techniques to real life experience advice. Look at the tone in which the advice is given. How is the attitude of the advice? Was the advice given by someone who is there to merely kill time or stroke his own ego? I’ve seen members on this board bash the words of other members for pages. Who continues to maintain a tone which intends to help others and who continues to strike away in fury because their ego has been hurt? You all know Pook, but you may not know God of War. I have always found both of their postings very inspirational, because they always approached this site with the intent of helping others and stuck to their intentions of trying to help despite attacks by others.
I felt it was time to write up this post for a while. I’ve come to realize much during the time that I’ve been here. I had tried to help people around me in my life with all that I’ve learned, but have since discovered that they usually do not want help- not yet at least. It is quite amazing to see how some people here have realized their need to change and have come together to do so. I had misdirected much of my efforts to help others in the time that I’ve been here. But now, I’m here to give back to the community that I had been nurtured by for so long. I say this in order to encourage those who do not post to devote some time to post a little before they leave. A lot the help you want to give in real life will be overlooked, because the people you give your advice to are not ready to hear you. The people on this site are ready.
I would have been content to just continue reading some of the wonderful material that has been written over the year except that I am no longer really content. I understand that most people on this site eventually do reach such a point in their lives. And I have reached mine. There is a time when this site becomes more of a crutch than anything else. I hope those of you who have reached this point would post whatever useful advice you have and leave. I shake my head when I read articles written by Doc Love sometimes. I don’t shake my head because the advice Doc Love gives is wrong, but that he repeatedly stresses to his reader to follow The System in almost every article. Whenever a problem comes up, he always argues that not having The System or not following The System was the main reason for someone’s failure in love. This is a very big problem in following The System- you become tied to it. Do you really want to live life having to refer to a book to tell you how to act around a woman or even your own wife? How much better off are you with a website? At some point, you HAVE to leave this place if you want to be your own man. In the real world, you WILL make mistakes and get hurt. This is where you learn true wisdom. Do you really think you can read something or watch someone make a mistake and know the mistake intimately enough to grow and mature as a result of it? I highly doubt it. There’s really no way around it. Learn what you can here and when the time comes, leave.
Now how does that feel? Well, I’m feeling great over here. I had just emptied myself of what good advice I can give. You can too. Learn from this place and go out and experience the thrill of all you’ve learned. But don’t leave too quickly when your time to go finally arrives. Stick around a bit longer and dish out your wisdom to those AFCs who come to this site needing it. Do you remember how it felt to finally find the help you’ve been searching for and to develop true strength and confidence in yourself? Remember how it felt to reclaim your manhood? For those who are not here yet, continue learning and experimenting, but for those who have been lingering here and will leave soon, give it all back and know it will make a difference, Don Juan.
Some women would eventually exhibit some of the signs of attractions over times if I worked on them with “DJ tactics,” but some wouldn’t. The interesting thing was that a good number of women did “convert” in some way if I played things right. It made sense to me- use what I’ve learned and results should come. I wondered, however, whether it was the new person that I was becoming that changed women’s opinion of me or the tactics I learned.
I eventually reached a point where I was no longer happy with my life despite a seeming increase in women who were interested in me. I stopped enjoying putting on my “game face” to talk to them. It had been very novel when I first began, but the thrill of it had long since disappeared. So, I slowly began to stop putting on my game face and sat there rather quiet at times around large groups of people. Interestingly enough, however, I continued to be loud and extroverted with a few that I had become familiar with- these were my true friends. Something lifted from my chest and anxiety that I never realized I had been holding, left me. I can’t say that I was always happy and I sometimes missed the attention of people I used to entertain, because their attention shifted quickly want I stopped trying to make them laugh; only my friends stuck around when the act stopped. I expected a steep drop in the number of women attracted to me, but interestingly such a steep drop did not occur. There were some who initially flaked off, but oddly enough more women became attracted to me.
Do you remember all the body language I learned? I finally realized that it didn’t work quite the way I imagined it would at first. I had originally thought that I could somehow “mirror” a women’s body language and get her attracted to me and that I could analysis her body language to know exactly when I was doing something that increased attraction. I was into so much of this mumble jumble that I was constantly wondering what I did or didn’t do and why it had not produced the signs that I was looking for. Today, I gauge attraction with my gut instinct. I find it to be much more accurate than analyzing signs. If you do study body language, you will learn that reading body language is a natural ability that we all born with.
Most of the tactics that I learned, which require any real sort of thought usually never come up in the real world now. For the most part, the tactics that I read about usually just provided something solid for me to aim for. It gave me a sense of direction out there in the real world when I first started. It felt exhilarating to think that I had discovered secrets that gave me amazing powers over women. I do not doubt that the tactics that I employed when I first began gave the appearance of me being someone that I was not. It gave the illusion that I was confident, when in reality I was furiously trying to think two steps ahead to cut them off with another ****y and funny comment. Only now, after finally gaining some real confidence can I see that I have so much further to go. It amazes me to see all the little insecurities that I’ve hidden from myself for so long come to light.
My time here hasn’t all been about changes in attitude, however. I did realize a few things from my time here that will be very useful “tips” for some people. My first “tip” is to like more people. Have you ever noticed how your disposition towards a girl changes after she shows interest in you? Well, if you like more people, then the pool of girls that you have access to will naturally be enlarged. The more people you are attracted to, the more people will be attracted to you. My second “tip” is to show interest to your target and wait. If you are at a point where you no longer rely on tactics, then you’ve probably got in touch with the “gut instinct” that I mentioned. You know which girls are attracted to you, but there are some that do not even register in your gut. For those that you are not sure of, just make your presence known and wait. Some will eventually come around, but some won’t. Assuming that you’ve become a fairly confident person who goes to the gym to improve how you look, a good number will come around to you. As for those who do not come around, I can only say that they won’t really matter all that much to you this particular point I am describing. You will come to accept that there are some girls that you will not get and you will automatically move on when they don’t accept your advances. My third “tip” is to choose carefully whose advice you take. There are plenty of members on this board who offer advice ranging from tactics and techniques to real life experience advice. Look at the tone in which the advice is given. How is the attitude of the advice? Was the advice given by someone who is there to merely kill time or stroke his own ego? I’ve seen members on this board bash the words of other members for pages. Who continues to maintain a tone which intends to help others and who continues to strike away in fury because their ego has been hurt? You all know Pook, but you may not know God of War. I have always found both of their postings very inspirational, because they always approached this site with the intent of helping others and stuck to their intentions of trying to help despite attacks by others.
I felt it was time to write up this post for a while. I’ve come to realize much during the time that I’ve been here. I had tried to help people around me in my life with all that I’ve learned, but have since discovered that they usually do not want help- not yet at least. It is quite amazing to see how some people here have realized their need to change and have come together to do so. I had misdirected much of my efforts to help others in the time that I’ve been here. But now, I’m here to give back to the community that I had been nurtured by for so long. I say this in order to encourage those who do not post to devote some time to post a little before they leave. A lot the help you want to give in real life will be overlooked, because the people you give your advice to are not ready to hear you. The people on this site are ready.
I would have been content to just continue reading some of the wonderful material that has been written over the year except that I am no longer really content. I understand that most people on this site eventually do reach such a point in their lives. And I have reached mine. There is a time when this site becomes more of a crutch than anything else. I hope those of you who have reached this point would post whatever useful advice you have and leave. I shake my head when I read articles written by Doc Love sometimes. I don’t shake my head because the advice Doc Love gives is wrong, but that he repeatedly stresses to his reader to follow The System in almost every article. Whenever a problem comes up, he always argues that not having The System or not following The System was the main reason for someone’s failure in love. This is a very big problem in following The System- you become tied to it. Do you really want to live life having to refer to a book to tell you how to act around a woman or even your own wife? How much better off are you with a website? At some point, you HAVE to leave this place if you want to be your own man. In the real world, you WILL make mistakes and get hurt. This is where you learn true wisdom. Do you really think you can read something or watch someone make a mistake and know the mistake intimately enough to grow and mature as a result of it? I highly doubt it. There’s really no way around it. Learn what you can here and when the time comes, leave.
Now how does that feel? Well, I’m feeling great over here. I had just emptied myself of what good advice I can give. You can too. Learn from this place and go out and experience the thrill of all you’ve learned. But don’t leave too quickly when your time to go finally arrives. Stick around a bit longer and dish out your wisdom to those AFCs who come to this site needing it. Do you remember how it felt to finally find the help you’ve been searching for and to develop true strength and confidence in yourself? Remember how it felt to reclaim your manhood? For those who are not here yet, continue learning and experimenting, but for those who have been lingering here and will leave soon, give it all back and know it will make a difference, Don Juan.
