I'm noticing a lot of guys are having problems getting replies from POF and as a result are becoming very bitter and negative.
I fell into that same trap recently and my profile reflected it. I talked about how most women there were attention wh0res and had a bit of a rant. The girls who I had been messaging suddenly stopped and the usual influx of messages I get (even from the fat and ugly girls) also stopped. What was I thinking? Nobody likes negativity. If you read a girl's profile and she sounds like a bitter man-hater or a habitual moaner, it's offputting, and the same is true for guys.
Unfortunately we have to accept that POF is overcrowded and these girls are getting a lot of attention. All the oneliners and tricks you can imagine, these girls have read before. They've answered questions such as "why are you on here?" and "how's your weekend?" over and over again.
Many women on there won't reply if they think you're cutting and pasting either. You have to show them that you've read their profile and are taking a genuine interest in them.
In terms of your profile, you have to make it reflect your personality and break away from the generic "I like this" and "I am seeking this". Of course, those are things you should include, but try to show a bit of humour and lightheartedness. I have a dry sense of humour so my profile reflects that. I wrote how I am looking for a replacement for my deceased wife and that I need to find a girl who is willing to wear her clothes and answer to her name. Surprisingly I'm getting a lot of emails and girls are really playing along with this.
The way I see it is that my profile is consistent with my personality. A girl who doesn't find that funny, won't find my sense of humour funny in person.
Obviously looks matter and is your foot in the door so to speak. Avoid pictures that show you misbehaving, drinking, surrounded by women. Yes I know the theory of social proof, but many of these women have their defences up and any indication you're a player or a jerk, and they won't give you a chance. Your first priority is to establish rapport and comfort levels, make her see you're cool to talk to.
Above all, you must be genuine! Look at the many profiles that state "looking for a genuine/honest/normal guy". They say this because there are so many guys there putting on an act, trying to be witty or cool, and generally desperate to impress. The problem here is that they're trying to be something they're not. Women can see through this and it stinks of insecurity.
Same goes for pictures of your flash car, anything that comes across as bragging or arrogant. These girls want a guy they can connect with on a mutual level.
The online game works quite differently to street game because these women are much quicker to disqualify guys based on first impressions. While many girls you meet via friends or in bars will continue to chase you in spite of your flaws or bad behaviour, most women online will just open another mail and move on.
However, even if you get your profile and messaging down to an art form, you should never expect to meet "the one" or invest all your energy into one girl. You are going to find a lot of them will flake at some point. Women, are by nature, indecisive and so you can't expect them to invest everything in you when they have so many options out there. So, the most important thing is that you approach POF with the intention of having fun. Let them think you're Mr Right and you will love them for life, but just go and enjoy the conversations, the dates and the sex, then let them make the moves from there.
It's quite a deceptive game where you portray yourself as this romantic and nice guy, but act like a player when the times comes.
I've dated girls from there for a couple of months, had a friend with benefits, but most have been one night stands or fvck buddies. However, when I do things right, I do manage to get a lot of replies and girls who message me out of the blue. There are a lot of -5s who message me, but my dates have all ranged from 7s to 9s, including fitness models and dance instructors.
Anyway, hope this helps.
I fell into that same trap recently and my profile reflected it. I talked about how most women there were attention wh0res and had a bit of a rant. The girls who I had been messaging suddenly stopped and the usual influx of messages I get (even from the fat and ugly girls) also stopped. What was I thinking? Nobody likes negativity. If you read a girl's profile and she sounds like a bitter man-hater or a habitual moaner, it's offputting, and the same is true for guys.
Unfortunately we have to accept that POF is overcrowded and these girls are getting a lot of attention. All the oneliners and tricks you can imagine, these girls have read before. They've answered questions such as "why are you on here?" and "how's your weekend?" over and over again.
Many women on there won't reply if they think you're cutting and pasting either. You have to show them that you've read their profile and are taking a genuine interest in them.
In terms of your profile, you have to make it reflect your personality and break away from the generic "I like this" and "I am seeking this". Of course, those are things you should include, but try to show a bit of humour and lightheartedness. I have a dry sense of humour so my profile reflects that. I wrote how I am looking for a replacement for my deceased wife and that I need to find a girl who is willing to wear her clothes and answer to her name. Surprisingly I'm getting a lot of emails and girls are really playing along with this.
The way I see it is that my profile is consistent with my personality. A girl who doesn't find that funny, won't find my sense of humour funny in person.
Obviously looks matter and is your foot in the door so to speak. Avoid pictures that show you misbehaving, drinking, surrounded by women. Yes I know the theory of social proof, but many of these women have their defences up and any indication you're a player or a jerk, and they won't give you a chance. Your first priority is to establish rapport and comfort levels, make her see you're cool to talk to.
Above all, you must be genuine! Look at the many profiles that state "looking for a genuine/honest/normal guy". They say this because there are so many guys there putting on an act, trying to be witty or cool, and generally desperate to impress. The problem here is that they're trying to be something they're not. Women can see through this and it stinks of insecurity.
Same goes for pictures of your flash car, anything that comes across as bragging or arrogant. These girls want a guy they can connect with on a mutual level.
The online game works quite differently to street game because these women are much quicker to disqualify guys based on first impressions. While many girls you meet via friends or in bars will continue to chase you in spite of your flaws or bad behaviour, most women online will just open another mail and move on.
However, even if you get your profile and messaging down to an art form, you should never expect to meet "the one" or invest all your energy into one girl. You are going to find a lot of them will flake at some point. Women, are by nature, indecisive and so you can't expect them to invest everything in you when they have so many options out there. So, the most important thing is that you approach POF with the intention of having fun. Let them think you're Mr Right and you will love them for life, but just go and enjoy the conversations, the dates and the sex, then let them make the moves from there.
It's quite a deceptive game where you portray yourself as this romantic and nice guy, but act like a player when the times comes.
I've dated girls from there for a couple of months, had a friend with benefits, but most have been one night stands or fvck buddies. However, when I do things right, I do manage to get a lot of replies and girls who message me out of the blue. There are a lot of -5s who message me, but my dates have all ranged from 7s to 9s, including fitness models and dance instructors.
Anyway, hope this helps.
