"A drink sounds better than coffee..."

[marmel75]

I respectfully disagree with the drink guys here, in my opinion a low investment untill proven worth policy is the best one.

Not gonna waste my time and money with a girl who doesnt look solidly interested, also I train MMA and lift weights, drinking is demanding on my physical shape therefore its a gift for special girls only.

A girl getting free alchool and attention out of me without any sure reward? not gonna happen.

Personally what I like the most are casual dates where you text a girl in that moment and you meet with no previous agreement or better yet to know a girl who shows high interest at the bar that same night...dates planned in advance with girls I still dont know well enough are not my favourite.

If a girl rejects my offer cause its not exactly what she wanted, I know her interest was lukewarm so I probably saved time and money.

No wonder why so many of you have issues. You assume the women has no interest in you from the beginning.

Your mind determines you are right and subconsciously sabotages you in date to get the outcome you believe to be true.

I get free alcohol too because they almost always pay for the 2nd drink.

 

[HankHill]

Good gawd, really? Who the fvck cares, just get her out and see what happens!

I did.

Was she a he?

Not a he but far from what she looked like in her pics which were easily 7+yrs old and I'm being generous here. Glad we met for drinks because I needed the alcohol to keep me from leaving lol
I still did my best to be a good company...then about an hr later I had to ask for the check, she seemed she wanted to hang around but I didn't. She thanked me several times for the drinks at least haha

Never understood the coffee date thing. Just doesn’t feel like a date. I have coffee with my boss and coworkers.

I drink alcohol with my boss/coworkers/friends too, what's that have anything to do with it? As I said in 15+ dates in 2 months this is the second time someone pushed for drinks instead and both times things didn't turn out well.

No wonder why so many of you have issues. You assume the women has no interest in you from the beginning.

Your mind determines you are right and subconsciously sabotages you in date to get the outcome you believe to be true.

I get free alcohol too because they almost always pay for the 2nd drink.

Guys with LTR girlfriends don't get to speak! lol just giving you sh*t man!

Here's the thing I appreciate the constructive criticism and I continue to learn stuff from all y'all here but multiple times now I've come to find out that while others mean well trusting your own gut feeling is important. Because you're closer to the situation your senses are trying to warn you- listen to them.

The bottom line is the venue doesn't matter to the woman who genuinely wants to get to know you. I can't believe all the talk about high IL elsewhere isn't being echo'd here.

 

[Spaz]

I asked her out for coffee, she says she has some availability this weekend but a drink sounds better than coffee.

I'd say : Sure, but this weekend it's coffee and if you've cute plus amusing we'll do drinks at (some fancy bar) on another date.

She (like most girls like a good challenge) : It's a deal !

Or

She : (if I detect some hesitation, I won't let her finish her sentence, I'd cut her off)

I'd : Well if u r afraid I'd understand. I myself prefer girls that has an aura of feminine bravery that I find attractive and liberating.

Don't know abt you boys, I ALWAYS hv it either my way or no way.

And any dates has to be within my frame and never hers.

Works fine with me.

What say u @sazc , would this challenge a modern women such as urself?

 

[The Diver]

those who are interested in you rather than themselves will be just fine with coffee or any other venue.

100% Agree
Those who claim coffee is the worse dates just fooling themselves into believing the alcohol will do the job for them. If she is into you it doesn't matter at all what kind of a date you'll have.
I have been in "coffees dates" and a "drinks dates", and didn't find any difference in the end results.
If you are good, and she is into you, you'll be able to pull even in a fu*cking "cemetery date".

 

[ubercat]

Geez buying a chick one drink is high investment? Are you guys working at Burger King?

I've done both got plenty of SNL from drinks nights. Testing her is when you make her buy the second round.
@fastlife I m genuinely curious - not arguing your obviously a player.

What the heck do you do with chicks at night that doesn't involve buying them a drink or at least somebody buying somebody a drink? A dinner date is going to cost you even more and just about everywhere you go is licensed?

 

[old_skoolr]

Coffee vs Drinks date

Is this going to be one of those pointless threads like text vs call? Those were dumb

I prefer the coffee first date on a weekday personally. It's low-key, cheap and sets the venue of showing her my value without the need for alcohol to cloud her judgement.

Though if a girl suggests drinks, it does send the message that shes down to smash so thats nice.

Just do what you feel is right

 

[sazc]

I'd say : Sure, but this weekend it's coffee and if you've cute plus amusing we'll do drinks at (some fancy bar) on another date.

She (like most girls like a good challenge) : It's a deal !

Or

She : (if I detect some hesitation, I won't let her finish her sentence, I'd cut her off)

I'd : Well if u r afraid I'd understand. I myself prefer girls that has an aura of feminine bravery that I find attractive and liberating.

Don't know abt you boys, I ALWAYS hv it either my way or no way.

And any dates has to be within my frame and never hers.

Works fine with me.

What say u @sazc , would this challenge a modern women such as urself?

I don't like the stupid back and forth games so this banter would leave me feeling less interested and I would probably decline outright and move on. But that's just me, other girls might love it.

I don't get all petty about initial dates. Usually it's the guy who wants to go get a drink, and I don't drink when I'm starting to get to know someone, but I'll go to a bar and just get a Diet Coke and not worry about it.

 

[sazc]

100% Agree
Those who claim coffee is the worse dates just fooling themselves into believing the alcohol will do the job for them. If she is into you it doesn't matter at all what kind of a date you'll have.
I have been in "coffees dates" and a "drinks dates", and didn't find any difference in the end results.
If you are good, and she is into you, you'll be able to pull even in a fu*cking "cemetery date".

The alcohol absolutely helps a chick feel more attracted to you.

 

[Murk]

Going for drinks doesn't mean you buy every drink. As suggested you take it in turns buying rounds. Sometimes she gets there before me I'll call/text her to get me a drink, sets the tone. On the occasions I get there first and ask what drink she wants (all assuming drinks in the city were you're going to be relatively nearby/walking distance.) she sometimes gives off signs she expects me to be buying drinks all night.

They will treat you how you allow them, you go into the date like an insecure girl throwing money at a problem then they will take advantage of that and probably ask you to get them an uber home at the end too. If you can get a girl to buy you drinks and understand you're not her personal ATM then you will get further in this game.

If you're concerned about money you need to nail this stage quickly so you can turn her into an fwb type deal that comes to your place with alcohol and food like I did on Friday. Makes life so much easier when you can get a fvck from home without travelling or buying anything.

 

[Mike32ct]

It doesn't matter. It's a cheap excuse to meet up in public.

Fair enough.

 

[Who Dares Win]

No wonder why so many of you have issues. You assume the women has no interest in you from the beginning.

Your mind determines you are right and subconsciously sabotages you in date to get the outcome you believe to be true.

I get free alcohol too because they almost always pay for the 2nd drink.

Awfully we are not all 6'5 tall with a 10 inch d1ck and getting paid a billion monthly while girls pray us to cvm on their faces unlike most of the guys online.

Average guys like us need to carefully plan each and every action especially when it comes of money and time management...but im sure its because our "game" is not tight enough.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I don't think there's any way around it that this costs good money, no matter how much you optimise.

Same with why I've never been into the diet and fitness aspect of the sphere. Find it pretty impossible to do that and date at the same time. The lifestyles are opposites.

Its up to you to pick your priorities, personally I'm fine not having sex for a month while I cant see myself at all out of shape cause its part of me.

I would rather drop a potential one night stand rather than not traning for 10 days thats why I date at my own terms or not date at all, not gonna change my life style to accomodate a woman.

 

[Spaz]

Problem with many guys here with women is that they wear their heart on their sleeves, you guys should just allow ur d1cks 2 lead the way.

Don't over think, don't over plan, don't over expect, just fvcking let it flow - see what happens and relax.

 

[marmel75]

Awfully we are not all 6'5 tall with a 10 inch d1ck and getting paid a billion monthly while girls pray us to cvm on their faces unlike most of the guys online.

Average guys like us need to carefully plan each and every action especially when it comes of money and time management...but im sure its because our "game" is not tight enough.

Neither am I. But I've never had a belief that stops me from succeeding so it doesn't. Has it? Im sure it has but I never went into a date believing that will be the case. I always believed they wanted to bang me and that's why they came out that night.

You may not think that limiting self talk hinders you but i can assure you it does many more times than you think in ways that you would never have guessed.

 

[marmel75]

I did.


Not a he but far from what she looked like in her pics which were easily 7+yrs old and I'm being generous here. Glad we met for drinks because I needed the alcohol to keep me from leaving lol
I still did my best to be a good company...then about an hr later I had to ask for the check, she seemed she wanted to hang around but I didn't. She thanked me several times for the drinks at least haha



I drink alcohol with my boss/coworkers/friends too, what's that have anything to do with it? As I said in 15+ dates in 2 months this is the second time someone pushed for drinks instead and both times things didn't turn out well.



Guys with LTR girlfriends don't get to speak! lol just giving you sh*t man!

Here's the thing I appreciate the constructive criticism and I continue to learn stuff from all y'all here but multiple times now I've come to find out that while others mean well trusting your own gut feeling is important. Because you're closer to the situation your senses are trying to warn you- listen to them.

The bottom line is the venue doesn't matter to the woman who genuinely wants to get to know you. I can't believe all the talk about high IL elsewhere isn't being echo'd here.

Yes that is right BUT the atmosphere for the first date plays a sizeable part into whether she is going to want to see you again. Many people dont believe it but I do. How you look, how you act in date, your escalation level, the atmosphere of where the date is taking place...all of that stuff matters to some degree...how much it matters will vary from woman to woman but if you are taking her to a lame coffee shop versus a cool bar with a relaxed atmosphere(Bar Louie was my favorite place) you have already made it more difficult for yourself in some way. Hoe much more difficult will vary but rest assured you are not doing yourself any favors with that.

 

[HankHill]

So in summary:

1. Alcohol favors the guy (no argument) in that she will like you more when intoxicated- the opposite is also true, you'll like her more intoxicated. If that's your MO who am I to judge <- see what I did there? lol
2. Coffee vs. alcohol vs. dinner is all subjective and up to each individual. Me? I want the first date to be low pressure and low investment. I don't even try to kiss women on first dates anymore because I don't want to get the cheek - remember that most women these days especially in OLD read books like 'The Rules' etc which teach them to not let a man kiss you on the first date etc. Let her wonder if I even liked her, a woman who doesn't know your true feelings about her will always be interested in you because she wants that validation.
3. I find that there are three main types of women you meet in OLD. One, the gold diggers. Two, the ones looking for attention (they have instagram/FB/Snapchat etc all connected to their profiles). Three, women who actually want to meet a decent guy (for LTR, marriage etc). As they say, know your customer before engaging. I go for the third type of women.

Class dismissed LOL

 

[The Duke]

So much mental masturbation here, and thats the root of most of your problems.

Stand your ground, do whats best for you and act on it. Never let a woman steer your ship. You'll end up off course and taking on water and she'll jump ship everytime.

 

[The Diver]

The alcohol absolutely helps a chick feel more attracted to you.

Yes, and if she's not dtf same night, (most women won't need alcohol to want to fu*ck you, they already made up their mind about it bf they even arrived to meet you ) she goes home, and when her head gets clear, she forgets about this attraction, and lose interest in you if the attraction wasn't genuine, but rather created by the alcohol..

 

[devilkingx2]

I asked her out for coffee, she says she has some availability this weekend but a drink sounds better than coffee.

I've only had one other woman do this before and I accommodated...but despite what I thought was a good date she ghosted me. So this time my gut says to stick with what I proposed- "Let's do drinks next time! How does 6:30p sound at xyz?".

On the other hand a drink isn't that much more than a latte so it's not really a $ issue. Thoughts?

Sounds like she wants to fvck.

Alcohol makes your chances of sex much higher, and so does evening dates

On the contrary, coffee at 9am isn't gonna turn into sex

 

[Who Dares Win]

Neither am I. But I've never had a belief that stops me from succeeding so it doesn't. Has it? Im sure it has but I never went into a date believing that will be the case. I always believed they wanted to bang me and that's why they came out that night.

You may not think that limiting self talk hinders you but i can assure you it does many more times than you think in ways that you would never have guessed.

Sometime it was me not to like the girl or change my mind after she said or did something (I once dated a guy from a gipsy camp said a finnish girl who got nexted instantly), so again keeping the investment low till proven worth sounds a good policy to me.