Ah, confidence, the seemingly magical beast that will enhance your life for the better. But beware! At its best confidence is a self-love that empowers you to do things that you could never before imagine, at its worst it is a stubbornness that transforms your life into a downward spiral of non-acceptance and dorkism, where every criticism aimed at you is ignored, and you fail to see how much of a fool you really are.
What is this you say? Can confidence really be bad? YES!!! Confidence is bad when you are an overweight computer nerd, refusing to go out and party because you would rather play computer games all night long. My roommate at college was this poor soul. We would try to get him to go with us to have some fun, however he was so confident in his decision to not go, that he never went with us (and missed out on the booze and ladies I might add!) This man was a looser with a capitol-L, but he did not know it! When we brought chicks back to the dorms to hang out, he would talk and babble and act all hot shyt, but they hated him! We had to kick him out a few times! What this kid was missing was not confidence in the traditional sense (if he had less of it, it might have even helped him, he might have succumbed to peer pressure and went out and had a good time with us!) What this kid was missing was a life! (Or so we think!)
Is this confidence the stuff that we search after, the stuff that fuels our successes and allows us to shine, not only with girls—that is really not too hard, you just have to have balls—but with life in general? Does the nature of the confidence that we seek even allow us to settle into a rut and leave our life stagnant, with gut loads of unfulfilled potential? NO!!!
A Different Kind of Confidence
Imagine our hero again for a minute, that's right, our own imaginary overweight computer nerd. Now, suppose he gets used and abused by the girl of his dreams. He gets a hint and starts searching for information so it could never happen again, information that would let him control and manipulate the sexy entity that is woman. Of course, he finds our website! (Cheers heard all around.
) Now, he reads all the information that he can take, and this opens up two possibilities for him:
possibility numero uno
He can take all this DJ mumbo jumbo and incorporate it into all of his dealings with women (since that is what he is here for, of course, is women! "show me dee weemon") and continue to live his life normally as if nothing happened, just a little "self-improvement."
possibility numero two-o
He can realize that he was living his life completely wrong! He can realize that his entire computer-game-driven existence was a product of a severely warped philosophy of life, and that he must become a man to further progress down the path of enlightenment. He embraces the take-what-you-want philosophy to the core, and by changing his thoughts about life he changes himself. Our old friend Mr.Computer-nerd is now dead, destroyed. He has transformed himself into a continually improving person, on a quest to fulfill his entire potential, and to find and conquer any challenges that lie ahead. This is what being a so-called "DJ" is all about. This is when you realize that, although it was women that brought you here (to this site), it is about something more than women.
self-improvement is masturbation; now, self-destruction…
Our hero follows the second scenario (of course) and starts on a quest to improve his life. He begins to crack out of his shell. His mindset is sound, he knows what he must do, but there is a problem…he must do it!
Come 3 PM, where is our buddy nerd boy? Oh look, he is hitting the weights! Squats! Wow, good man! We, as DJs, would take pride in our fellow man's accomplishment. He has the fortitude to take action and turn his life around. But others, people in real life, don't have that luxury that we do.
insults away!
"Hey look, that is the computer guy! Weights won't help you win your games bro!"
"Yeah, why don't you do some finger exercises or something!"
and so on and so on…
This happens in all aspects of his life. He will be insulted, toyed with, chastised, until he proves that he is a true DJ.
But we have come to a problem. He is improving himself in every way: looks, socially, professionally, but he is still being challenged by others that are confounded by his defiance of their image of him. (The psychologist might say that the other people laugh at him because they are threatened, but to the people in question, it is more of a gut-level type of reaction.) Now, what is to stop him from lashing out at those that are challenging him causing much malevolence and ill feelings? What will keep him from taking these insults to heart and keep him from quitting his metamorphosis? What will fuel him straight to the top of the world, never letting him settle for second best?
Confidence, just of a different type.
The confidence that is needed is a kind of self-love. An attitude that says: "I am one of the best, and I deserve the best treatment." Our former nerd boy will look in the mirror and say "Damn I am fine" (even though he is not that great), he will say "all these girls like me" (even thought they all don't—however, some will), he will say "they are just ripping on me because they don't know any better," (even though they might!) This attitude will keep his spirits up and let his personality shine bright to everyone (and he has a good personality—of course—because it is congruent with the DJ Bible!) And, after a while, the world will start to reflect what our hero is thinking in his mind. He will become fine. All girls will want him. And no sane and self-secure person will rip on him. Because, you know what, as you think you shall become, and our hypothetical overweight computer nerd thought and he became a real Don Juan using the emotion/tool/attitude of confidence. Without it, he would have stopped just as soon as he had started, letting others bring him down and destroy his spirit.
Confidence comes before all. Shy-guy seems like an incredibly boring person because he doesn't have that self-love in him, he doesn't believe in himself enough to let his personality shine. He is afraid of what others will think of him. If he had that true confidence, that narcissistic spirit of self-love, then he would not let the opinions of others on himself affect his own self-image. That is key with confidence. You would not let others bother you as much. No, it is not the old cliché I-don't-care-what-people-think-Dorkboy, who acts like a prick and has people hate him because he "doesn't care what people think." It is more like "I am who I am, and if I don't like it I can change it, but if you don't like it…Oh well!" type of attitude.
And you will find out that, when you get down to it, humans are social animals. You won't need to do anything special to attract people and girls. When you remove all barriers, you will see that you are generally concerned with other people. You will radiate warmth. You will not hide your feelings behind a veil of niceness, sarcasm, professionalism, jerkness, or anything else. People (yes, yes, girls too) are attracted to this sort of honesty. And as for girls, they will get better and better, because YOU are getting better and better.
And you will wonder why that quiet scrawny kid never moves from his computer!
What is this you say? Can confidence really be bad? YES!!! Confidence is bad when you are an overweight computer nerd, refusing to go out and party because you would rather play computer games all night long. My roommate at college was this poor soul. We would try to get him to go with us to have some fun, however he was so confident in his decision to not go, that he never went with us (and missed out on the booze and ladies I might add!) This man was a looser with a capitol-L, but he did not know it! When we brought chicks back to the dorms to hang out, he would talk and babble and act all hot shyt, but they hated him! We had to kick him out a few times! What this kid was missing was not confidence in the traditional sense (if he had less of it, it might have even helped him, he might have succumbed to peer pressure and went out and had a good time with us!) What this kid was missing was a life! (Or so we think!)
Is this confidence the stuff that we search after, the stuff that fuels our successes and allows us to shine, not only with girls—that is really not too hard, you just have to have balls—but with life in general? Does the nature of the confidence that we seek even allow us to settle into a rut and leave our life stagnant, with gut loads of unfulfilled potential? NO!!!
A Different Kind of Confidence
Imagine our hero again for a minute, that's right, our own imaginary overweight computer nerd. Now, suppose he gets used and abused by the girl of his dreams. He gets a hint and starts searching for information so it could never happen again, information that would let him control and manipulate the sexy entity that is woman. Of course, he finds our website! (Cheers heard all around.
) Now, he reads all the information that he can take, and this opens up two possibilities for him:possibility numero uno
He can take all this DJ mumbo jumbo and incorporate it into all of his dealings with women (since that is what he is here for, of course, is women! "show me dee weemon") and continue to live his life normally as if nothing happened, just a little "self-improvement."
possibility numero two-o
He can realize that he was living his life completely wrong! He can realize that his entire computer-game-driven existence was a product of a severely warped philosophy of life, and that he must become a man to further progress down the path of enlightenment. He embraces the take-what-you-want philosophy to the core, and by changing his thoughts about life he changes himself. Our old friend Mr.Computer-nerd is now dead, destroyed. He has transformed himself into a continually improving person, on a quest to fulfill his entire potential, and to find and conquer any challenges that lie ahead. This is what being a so-called "DJ" is all about. This is when you realize that, although it was women that brought you here (to this site), it is about something more than women.
self-improvement is masturbation; now, self-destruction…
Our hero follows the second scenario (of course) and starts on a quest to improve his life. He begins to crack out of his shell. His mindset is sound, he knows what he must do, but there is a problem…he must do it!
Come 3 PM, where is our buddy nerd boy? Oh look, he is hitting the weights! Squats! Wow, good man! We, as DJs, would take pride in our fellow man's accomplishment. He has the fortitude to take action and turn his life around. But others, people in real life, don't have that luxury that we do.
insults away!
"Hey look, that is the computer guy! Weights won't help you win your games bro!"
"Yeah, why don't you do some finger exercises or something!"
and so on and so on…
This happens in all aspects of his life. He will be insulted, toyed with, chastised, until he proves that he is a true DJ.
But we have come to a problem. He is improving himself in every way: looks, socially, professionally, but he is still being challenged by others that are confounded by his defiance of their image of him. (The psychologist might say that the other people laugh at him because they are threatened, but to the people in question, it is more of a gut-level type of reaction.) Now, what is to stop him from lashing out at those that are challenging him causing much malevolence and ill feelings? What will keep him from taking these insults to heart and keep him from quitting his metamorphosis? What will fuel him straight to the top of the world, never letting him settle for second best?
Confidence, just of a different type.
The confidence that is needed is a kind of self-love. An attitude that says: "I am one of the best, and I deserve the best treatment." Our former nerd boy will look in the mirror and say "Damn I am fine" (even though he is not that great), he will say "all these girls like me" (even thought they all don't—however, some will), he will say "they are just ripping on me because they don't know any better," (even though they might!) This attitude will keep his spirits up and let his personality shine bright to everyone (and he has a good personality—of course—because it is congruent with the DJ Bible!) And, after a while, the world will start to reflect what our hero is thinking in his mind. He will become fine. All girls will want him. And no sane and self-secure person will rip on him. Because, you know what, as you think you shall become, and our hypothetical overweight computer nerd thought and he became a real Don Juan using the emotion/tool/attitude of confidence. Without it, he would have stopped just as soon as he had started, letting others bring him down and destroy his spirit.
Confidence comes before all. Shy-guy seems like an incredibly boring person because he doesn't have that self-love in him, he doesn't believe in himself enough to let his personality shine. He is afraid of what others will think of him. If he had that true confidence, that narcissistic spirit of self-love, then he would not let the opinions of others on himself affect his own self-image. That is key with confidence. You would not let others bother you as much. No, it is not the old cliché I-don't-care-what-people-think-Dorkboy, who acts like a prick and has people hate him because he "doesn't care what people think." It is more like "I am who I am, and if I don't like it I can change it, but if you don't like it…Oh well!" type of attitude.
And you will find out that, when you get down to it, humans are social animals. You won't need to do anything special to attract people and girls. When you remove all barriers, you will see that you are generally concerned with other people. You will radiate warmth. You will not hide your feelings behind a veil of niceness, sarcasm, professionalism, jerkness, or anything else. People (yes, yes, girls too) are attracted to this sort of honesty. And as for girls, they will get better and better, because YOU are getting better and better.
And you will wonder why that quiet scrawny kid never moves from his computer!
