A committee of c*ckblocks.....

[speed dawg]

Something that has never happened to me happened Saturday night. Some people (a girl, her boyfriend, and his friend) all banded together to do their best to try and take my girlfriend away and set the friend up with them. They all knew me and her had been together for damm near a year. They don't respect nothing or nobody. My girl had been friends with this girl back in high school, and the guy was her brother in law's buddy from high school. I had already met these people and they seemed cool before. I couldn't believe it when they just blatantly tried to steal her in front of me.

It all happened at the main bar in town. Everybody's having a good time, but I know what's going on. The girl has been trying to get my gf to leave and go somewhere different with the 3 of them all night, and I know this is happening, but of course, like a DJ, I play it cool. My gf does the right thing, she never gives in and overly flirts or anything. Well, the thing is, I really can't do anything bc everybody is friends here (I've been living here 2 years, they are all from a town south of here), so I just hang out with some other folks. Yet I'm fuming because I know what these scumbags are trying to pull.

Well around midnight everybody's hammered. The "friend" is pissed because he can't pull my gf, so he starts a fight with me bc he says "I'm looking at him wrong". This guy is 30, has 2 kids, and trying to fight in a bar, over a girl that doesn't want him. Keep in mind this guy is my gf's bro-in-law's best friend from high school. Well the bro-in-law tries to break it up, and the guy hits HIS BEST FRIEND. So then everybody knew what was up, that the "friend" was the one in the wrong.

Nevertheless, I had backed down from the fight and walked away because (1) He's alot bigger than me and I've heard about his prevalent fighting in the past, let's just say I was overmatched, and (2) I knew my girl wasn't going with them. The only thing is my confidence got shaken a little bit.

Any of you had this problem? Just a piece of sh*t trying to fukk with you? Any tips on how to regain that swagger I had beforehand? Or how to deal with a group of people out to get you?

...and please, no trolls or flames.

 

[Vulpine]

What more confidence do you need?

She didn't go with him - she's still with you.

Why?

Duh. 'Cuz you're a smooth operator with game and the other chump is 30 with two kids. Hello? Can you say, "That guy's a dumbazz?"

Don't sweat AFC's.

 

[speed dawg]

I've come up with a new quote that will be my sig now...."Don't argue with stupid people. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." It applies in this situation.

I guess being a "man" has nothing to do with how physically powerful you are. This guy could have beat my ass bad. It just eats at my ego that I had to walk away, esp. in front of the girl.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Good job. It's always better to not fight. Nothing hurts your game worse than prison.

But don't be scared of people simply because they are bigger than you. The bigger guy does not always win.

 

[RedPill]

Here's a strategy you can employ when in these situations, where you're dealing with stupidity, negativity, and people with the intellect of a shaved ape:

Acknowledge... and move on.

I learned this as a sales strategy. It works great there too. When dealing with people's whining, their b1tchiness, their attempts to spin you one way or another - Acknowledge... and move on. Same thing dealing with women and all their crazy emotion-driven thoughts.

The neat part about this strategy is that not only are you unphased by other people's attitudes and actions, but you avoid taking even a baby step toward their reality. When you acknowledge and move on, it's the ultimate statement of confidence. You sincerely do not give a fukk about what the party you're acknowledging thinks, says, or does.

In this particular situation, you did the acknowledge part. You didn't get in a fight, and you let order restore itself. The move on part though... let the negative vibes/hostility go immediately. Don't even think about it or bring it up again, or let it impede the fun you're having in any way. Chances are your chick will stir about why that whole episode didn't even phase you, and get turned on by it.

When crazy drunk retards are giving you gruff, women are whining, or any person you’re dealing with is being negative and irrational - acknowledge the BS their spewing… and move on.

 

[Vulpine]

Yeah, I've been there plenty of times. I'm a fairly small guy, so I've had to "smooth" my way out of so many fights, it's sick.

I've brought it up for discussion to women when situations like this have happened and they replied with something along the lines of "Only dipsh!ts get into fights in bars." or "That guy was 3 times your size: you'd be retarded to get into a fight with him... not to mention being a retard for fighting over nothing... in a bar." All the while they'd be hanging on me - not the fighter guy. "Oh, Vulpine, I can't believe you bought that guy a drink! Wow! That's so cool how you handled that! Meow, meow, meow-meow-meow..."

Dodging fights and putting out fires wins WAY more points with women than actually winning fights. I know it's hard for men to understand or agree with, but women see it as "thinking and winning with your brain versus thinking with your testosterone and winning/losing/making a scene/getting hurt/hurting someone/getting kicked out and wrecking the night." Smoothing out fights demonstrates diplomacy, social skill, and presence of mind. You didn't get your azz beat = you win. You didn't beat some dude's azz = you win. You took a hectic scene and quieted it down = you win. Someone was freaking out and you chilled them out = you win.

You're an Alpha to the extreme when you step out of a conversation to cool out some guy getting crazy. You are "protecting the herd" by removing the irritation/threat and the herd will thank you. Example: I was in a group of 5 or 6 people and a couple guys were getting loud behind us like they were amping up to fight. I excused myself from the group, got between the two (much bigger than me) guys and ushered them to the bar...

V: "Hey, HEY, HEEeeey!!! Come here - let me buy you guys a drink." *uses arms to guide them towards the bar* (quietly) "You guys are making a big scene, look around. Look at all the chicks watching you. *pause while they look around* Yeah? You see? Nevermind this fighting crap."
(what'll you have, get drinks, etc.)
Shouldn't you guys be talking to chicks instead of talking to dudes and fighting? Drink your drinks and go your seperate ways: go get on all these hot ladies instead of making yourselves look silly in front of them."
Dudes: "Oh wow, man... thanks." "I'm sorry dude."
V: "Hey, no sweat. This sh!t is frustrating sometimes. Where you guys from, anyway?"
Dudes: (blah blah blah)
V: "Oooh, check her out!"
Dudes: "Nice." "She's hot!"
V: "Are you going over there after this drink?"
Dude: "Totally!"
V: "So what about you, other dude? That chick over there is eyeing you. Are you on that?"
Dude: "Oh yeah, definitely."
V: "Right on, guys, go get 'em!"

Then when you get back to your group, you get a bunch of thank you's. Sometimes even other groups will approach and thank you. AND, if any of the bar staff sees the whole thing, you typically get many free drinks afterwards (sometimes you don't have to pay for the guy's drinks - they wave your money off). Indeed, not fighting = winning.

Yes, sometimes it's stupid to get involved. But, if you see a problem and handle it before it becomes a bigger problem, everyone involved will notice and thank you. In this instance, the bouncers were way too far away to do anything, and these guys weren't at the point of swinging yet.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to stomp some mudholes in fools' azzes when they deserve it. But, ringing some drunk's bell in a bar isn't quite as satisfying. You gotta pick your fights (choose your battles) and getting in fights in a bar attracts the wrong attention - win or lose. Yeah, it stings a bit when you realize you could have smashed their drunk-azz face in, or, they could have pummeled you. But you are certainly a bigger man for handling those situations without violence.
.

 

[Latinoman]

You did the right thing.

I am 5’11” and weight 175 lbs. I’m also pretty fit and athletic. But what I got going for me is that I genuinely look like a “bad boy”.

All said, that sometimes does not deter drunks from making a mistake. About a month ago I almost beat the crap out of somebody. He was very drunk and drop his drink on my girlfriend. He was with two other guys (one by him and the other near by - I scouted the area). She looked at him as to say “be careful” and he simply started making faces. I looked into his eyes and the guy tells me, “sh*t happens” (he was wasted). So, I simply take off my coat and there my girlfriend steps in front of me. I then threw a punch (above her head) and stopped in mid air (almost near his temple). And the only reason I stopped is because she was in front of me…and also, because I realized that he was drunk and I was going to hurt him very badly. His friend was also very polite and that did it.

Here is the thing…I have learned that fights are only worth when you are trying to protect yourself or somebody. When a person gets into a fight, the person has to do that under the assumption that the other man might try to kill him. Therefore, you have to fight under the realization that you might have to end up killing someone in order to preserve yourself. If you can do that and live with that…then go for it. Furthermore, if you end up beating the other person, you might have to live the rest of your life looking over your back. Not worthy…unless you are protecting yourself. And of course, there the possibility of ending in jail or getting a rap sheet.

Your pride should never be shaken is you understand the paragraph above. You see? Walking away takes courage. Because in my case, I know that if I don’t walk away, I will end hurting the other person. And the reason I will end up hurting the other person is that I don’t care if I die or kill someone in order to defend myself: no every man has the same mentality and consequently that gives me an advantage.

Do you feel your pride has been shaken? That your girlfriend might lose “respect” for you? You shouldn’t feel that way. You can even tell her that what those three clowns were doing was very disrespectful to you. That if that guy would have jumped on you, that you would have had no other choice but to defend yourself…and due to the size difference, you would have to do it in such a fashion that could have probably cost somebody life. And said that to her in such a way that she understands that you mean it (and you should mean it). I mean, why get cripple by a BIG drunk? You do what you have to do to defend yourself. And the best thing is to avoid the situation.

 

[realsmoothie]

Woah, Speed, that's tough.

What's with these people? Don't they understand your GF LIKES YOU? Are they jealous? Or is there something you're not telling us... because I'm sure they would give us a bunch of reasons why she shouldn't be dating you.

I'm nothing saying there IS a reason, but for a guy to get so agitated that he starts a fight says something about motivation.

Either way, you're in a rough spot. It does appear that your GF is on YOUR side, and this is good news. Keep on it.

 

[speed dawg]

Thanks for the replies. It's good to hear from people who've been in these situations, and even better that other people besides myself think I did the right thing.

Are they jealous? Or is there something you're not telling us... because I'm sure they would give us a bunch of reasons why she shouldn't be dating you.

I'm nothing saying there IS a reason, but for a guy to get so agitated that he starts a fight says something about motivation.

The guy is a known hothead, recently divorced. His friend just got out of jail, and his girl used to hang with my gf alot, so my gf didn't really suspect any wrong doing at first. The dude just wanted to get some puzzy, and since I'm not from their hometown, and I didn't kiss their ass (they think they run the place) I guess I kind of intimidated them. I've never done LESS to start trouble in my life. I still don't know why someone can disrespect someone they just met, basically for the h*ll of it. And remember, this WAS my gf's bro-in-law's BEST FRIEND. And he took up for me, that says a lot.

Honestly, I'd love to hear the reasons why they wanted to split us up so bad. It's like they didn't even acknowledge that we were a couple.

 

[Bonhomme]

You did the right thing.

It's probably jealousy. That's why.

 

[cordoncordon]

interesting

 

[flexion_]

It seems a bit odd that a person would come up to you and want to start a fight when you have never even spoke with him? But good work on just walking away - I'd just chalk up it to frustratred drunk guy at bar syndrome. Those situations always make me laugh.

If your friends were trying to set up your GF then:
1) you need new friends
2) or your GF is shopping around

I'd push some buttons with your GF to see if something is up.

 

[Latinoman]

It seems a bit odd that a person would come up to you and want to start a fight when you have never even spoke with him? But good work on just walking away - I'd just chalk up it to frustratred drunk guy at bar syndrome. Those situations always make me laugh.

If your friends were trying to set up your GF then:
1) you need new friends
2) or your GF is shopping around

I'd push some buttons with your GF to see if something is up.

EXCELLENT points...and my best guess is that 1 and 2 are very accurate too.

 

[speed dawg]

Interesting points, flexion. But, her interest in ME never waivered. Believe me, random guys hit on her ALL the time. She's not hurting for options. My rule is, if you cross MY line, you're gone. The gf actually passed that test with flying colors. She hadn't seen these people in a long time, and it's hard to really give the entire situation thru typing on a message board. Believe me, 1 and 2 definitely crossed my mind, now she and our little group of friends have now decided that it's best not to hang around with that bunch of trash. It was at a wedding, and it was sort of like a high school reunion for them and I was sort of outcast. My gf has been known to be a little naive to guys advances and mistake them for "being a nice guy". I've already addressed this with her. Everybody enjoys having their ego fed, and though she will never admit it, she was enjoying having guys drool over her, and I would do the same if there was a table full of girls saying how fine I was....

I just hate hanging around that clicky group of small town fukkers, you know? And just for the record, those people were not our friends, just acquiantances they hadn't seen in awhile.

 

[Latinoman]

Interesting points, flexion. But, her interest in ME never waivered. Believe me, random guys hit on her ALL the time. She's not hurting for options. My rule is, if you cross MY line, you're gone. The gf actually passed that test with flying colors. She hadn't seen these people in a long time, and it's hard to really give the entire situation thru typing on a message board. Believe me, 1 and 2 definitely crossed my mind, now she and our little group of friends have now decided that it's best not to hang around with that bunch of trash. It was at a wedding, and it was sort of like a high school reunion for them and I was sort of outcast. My gf has been known to be a little naive to guys advances and mistake them for "being a nice guy". I've already addressed this with her. Everybody enjoys having their ego fed, and though she will never admit it, she was enjoying having guys drool over her, and I would do the same if there was a table full of girls saying how fine I was....

I just hate hanging around that clicky group of small town fukkers, you know? And just for the record, those people were not our friends, just acquiantances they hadn't seen in awhile.

A wedding with a bunch of people that knew each other from high school?

Then don't worry too much about it. I think you are correct. Important thing is that she did NOT fail YOU.