A comment about taking and giving advice

[The_Reaper]

Some DJs are so far ahead of other people in terms of deeply understanding the psychology and underlying dynamics of relationships and women and life itself, that they are almost on a different plane or realm of thought, and this stage they are at, looks (to the unitiated) like a crazy place or even a dumb place to be. People often mistake some attitudes and behaviour for a type of ignorance, wheras it is in fact an elevated level of development and thought.

A very basic example, is the idea of the "nice guy" and why it fails with women. But if the nice guy is given advice by a DJ about not being so nice, he cannot understand it, he cannot conceptualise it. He thinks the DJ is a dumb, insensitive son of a *****.

Some advice can only be taken and understood if it is close to your frame of reality, and the more you learn and experience, the more you expand your consciousness while others remain ignorant that you have gone through a lot of **** to get where you are.

Does that make sense?

 

[Play the Game]

Yea it makes sense. There's some people who'll never get out of that nice guy phase. I think they have that societal idea so deeply embedded in their nature they just can't see it failing right infront of their eyes. Had a friend like that, he thought he was in a higher reality than me.

Even tried to teach me some AFC stuff. :crackup:

 

[The_Reaper]

Yea it makes sense. There's some people who'll never get out of that nice guy phase. I think they have that societal idea so deeply embedded in their nature they just can't see it failing right infront of their eyes. Had a friend like that, he thought he was in a higher reality than me.

Even tried to teach me some AFC stuff. :crackup:

There you go!

 

[backbreaker]

99% of guys on earth probably fall in that catogory of never getting out. That's why I get so fustrated with some of you guys. you really don't know what you have. you have no idea how vauable you are. you are devaluing your own self worth by not taking the time to learn from the people who have been there and done that

it's like me going to say, bill gates, and asking him "hey man.. show me how to run MS-dos", and he says "son, I'm going to show you the world, the ends of the oceans, the future of pc's and programming and the success that comes with it" and I say "naw man... just dos.. I'm good"

that's what the majority of the guys here do when they come trying to get advice on how to get that 1 girl, that's THAT much different than anyone anyone has ever seen. because "she's hawt"... like we have never seen hot ass before.

then 2 years from now you are in the same situtation that you were, and wonder why. When i first came here, i soaked up everything I could from everyone that had any thing I needed to hear.

now I am in a situation where I have been though alot. I've had ass, I've lost ass. I've chased ass. I've longed for ass.. I've been to the point where I don't want anymore. I'f spun plates, bowls, pans, pots and any other type of eating accessories you can think of

I've been broke and gotten ass.. i've been wealthy and gotten ass. I've had ONS's, LTR's and any other 3 letter abrivation you can think of.

so have alot of guys here. pay attention. that's all we ask.

 

[reset]

I think part of it is when a guy is in that nice guy mode, he sees things in extremes. So the opposite of a nice guy is clearly an assh0le, which isn't what he wants to become.

The key here is to move away from that supplicating mentality, become a man who creates his own rules and lives by his own standards, which obviously includes being aware of all the drama and bs you have to protect yourself against when dealing with women. When you put your foot down, establish boundaries, and treat YOURSELF with respect, the rest of the world tends to fall in line with that mentality.

Now a lot of the stuff you hear from so-called DJs is just as bad as the nice guys they claim they aren't. They MAY be getting a lot of play, but you see what they really feel in their posts... they are bitter, jaded, they call all women h0rs (all women), and think that if they keep reminding themselves of how evil women are, they don't have to face that fact that just like nice guys, they are terrified of women, and also give women complete ownership of them. They're just doing the same thing in a different way.

I get more out of the posts from guys who are aware of all the stuff that goes on between the sexes, have an understanding of human nature (which means they don't take the game personally, they see it as nature's way of continuing the species, nothing more) but still keep a positive outlook. Because it's that positive outlook, mixed with an awareness of how the world "really works" that makes men "alphas" or successful with women.

A lot of this stuff is about gaining control over women, and it's tough at times but it should never be about that, or trying to outsmart them, or teach them a lesson, or prove that you're better than them and you're not threatened by their sexuality... it should always be about gaining control of your own life, your own outlook, and making sure you are doing things in your life that bring you happiness, and give you a sense of purpose, a feeling that your life has a mission and you're respecting that calling in yourself, whatever that is.

Women are secondary to that. Often we have to keep going in circles to come to that conclusion.

 

[Mobster727]

I Agree
Being a DJ is not all about going out there and being the alpha and what not.
Being a DJ is not only about having sucess with women but having sucess with yourself. Being a DJ helps you change your out look on life. Being more confident with women...your job..your family...I know this site has helped me in every aspect of my life and not just women.. The people on this site who give advice are all saying the same message...and that is you need to learn to have fun on your own and have women there to SHARE it with you

 

[The Forms]

I think it was John Coltrane said, "you have to learn the rules. Then you have to forget them."

That's kind of how I see this stuff working. When I was an AFC it was all black and white. Nice guy or *******. Getting laid or not.

I started to do my best when this became just another hobby for me. Like learning how to do most anything else. I had the interest, the time, and the balls to just play around and see what works for me.

Which I think is a very important thing in DJing. Understanding that, with my personality, there are certain things that work and don't work. But it my best friend tried some of the stuff that works fine for me, he'd look like an idiot. On the other hand, he can pull off some stuff that I would never be able to do in a million years.

 

[Bonez]

Reaper man, I agree! You have to talk to people from their point of view if you want them to really understand. Otherwise you're going to scare them or overwhelm them. You can't talk poetry to a kid and have him follow your tempo. You can't spit words to a "mature man" and have him care. Even the way questions are asked and answered needs to be given a keen eye.

How I see it is everybodys trying to give advice, but they have no experience. They're giving advice for the first time, every time, and it just gets damned annoying. There are the people that can give advice and make an impact immediately, those are the guys with experience. Pook reaches the new guys, but looking back at his advice I laugh at how simple it is sometimes. If somebody tried to shove a pile of pook in my face I wouldn't eat it, I'd turn around nodding my head and get back to what I was doing. I'm looking for a pook for where I am now though definitely.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Some advice can only be taken and understood if it is close to your frame of reality, and the more you learn and experience, the more you expand your consciousness while others remain ignorant that you have gone through a lot of **** to get where you are.

Does that make sense?

But there's the rub, a lot of guys would rather believe that their way is right (even though it's not producing the results that they want) instead of considering that there is other possibilities which could reframe their perception of reality. Fear of change (or failure) is like rigor mortis to many.

 

[BingoBango]

Beware of ppl u perceive to be stupid. Chances are they're also working extremely hard and may end up accelerating past u, and u'll be like 'wtf how did that happen?'

If ur on this path ur mind tends to change, mine certainly has. And if ur heavily influenced by something that u've read/done/tested then u may see regurgitated posts of whatever ur feeling at the time.

It's funny, u read over ur own posts 6 months later and u think they're stupid (what was i thinking?! LOL!). It's coz u were on a different level then and u've progressed past that time, and solved sticking points. The same principal applies for when ur reading posts from other ppl who r on different levels.