A bit confused ....

[The_411]

Here's the summary of what happened.

Met girl online

chatted with girl via e-mail

C&F was going so well girl just gave up her number and e-mail.

Called girl and caught her out with a "friend" She said hey can I call you back tomorrow. I was a little AFCish and said sure whatever.

Girl calls back next day and she gets my voicemail. I call back and get hers. She calls back 30 minutes later and gets my voice mail.

I was headed to another date. After date where I had no interest in my date I called the girl..

Lots of C&F and said some off beat stuff and firmed up a tentative plan to meet two days later on a saturday.

Girl calls me on Friday and wants to chat and we talk for 2 hours where my phone dies. She leaves a message and I call her back after about a 1/2 hour (a great trick btw) and we go another hour of C&F etc ...

We meet up on Saturday and more C&F and kino out the arse. She's kinoing me everywhere and I'm doing just about everything I want.

Eye contact is unreal. She tells she loves my voice yadda yadda

End of the date she drives me home and kiss closes me!

So I wait two days to call on Monday and don't get a response until Wednesday which is an e-mail saying ....

I've also been going out with someone else recently. I need to figure out my feelings I don't want to leave you hanging but I want to keep things casual so I don't mislead anyone.

And then asks me what I think?

I believe when I called her the first time and surprised her when she was with her "friend" it was with her other guy. So it appears I'm second guy coming to the party.

How should I deal with this situation?

Next her?

Ignore her?

Reply and move on because there isn't any hope with this girl or what?

Seems that there isn't much I can do here but make myself unavailable.

Defintely need help here my fellow DJs ...

 

[penkitten]

get out now!

she has some interest in you but more interest in the other guy.
you are taking a back seat to him.

she already knows her feelings.
she just is either trying not to hurt your feelings because that would make her feel bad or she is stringing you along in case they break up.

walk away from this.

do not settle for being someone's #2.

get out there and find someone who will dump her bf so you can be her #1.

find someone you cant get enough of and they cant get enough of you.

do not take her calls. do not call her back. make the break clean or it is you that will do the suffering.

 

[scordate]

this is another fine mess you have bungled yourself into ! ;-)

first mistake; talking 2 hours on the phone ?
phone is for making dates ! unless you have been going steady and have phone dates due to long distance between you !

she asks what you feel ?
i would say; hey it was such a nice kiss YOU gave me that I think I will give you the option of giving me a repeat performance + set day and time for next kiss ! perhaps even call it not a date but a kissing date !

this way you have set a standard, if you are going to meet it involves at least kissing ( and I presume you dont need directions from kissing and onwards ? ) ;-)

too wussy / AFC ?
depends on the whole situation
i dont think that saying that you enjoyed her kissing is AFC
just dont make it like you cant live without her and her kissing

and for pete's sake get other dates too

oneitis oneitis GO AWAY !

/ scordate

 

[Crank_It_Up]

she asked you what you think? Tell her you enjoyed your casual date, and look forward to a casual fvck.

 

[DJohnson]

A few simple rules..

1. Do not do 2 hour phone calls. From now on you will use the phone only to set up face to face meetings, talk to family and friends or discuss business dealings..NOT to gab endlessly with a girl you have not had sex with.

2. Do not ever worry about another guy in the picture. HE DOES NOT EXIST.

3. Do not play phonetag even for purposes of rule 1. Forget about it and go out with the other girls you are dating.


4. Online dating is like making money at a part time job or hobby for the hell of it. YOu don't depend on it, you don't think about it, you are just happy with whatever comes out of it, because it AINT your bread and butter ( GET THIS ).

5. Another problem with online dating if you aren't experienced with it is INCONGRUENCY. You came off as C+F online but by your own admition wussed up a bit on the phone.

I learned all of these things pretty much tthe hard way growing up. They are INVARIABLE.

Peace,

 

[The_411]

Thanks for the advice guys and gals

Things are going well and I don't feel a single oneitis bone in my body. I've kept up the C&F heat and keep dialing it up. She's been all over me like a cheap suit but I've been resisiting her advances basically making throw herself at me.

I've taken the approach that she's an expirment for me to work on shaping my game.

If I can get more out of it then that's fine but I feel no pressure in this situation.