A better response to "I have a boyfriend"

huisy

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I’ve seen many witty, clever responses to a woman’s “I have a boyfriend” line. A lot of them are quite clever, but fundamentally flawed.

Let’s put aside the problems if she does have a boyfriend in the first place (do you want to go out with a girl that cheats? Do you want to piss off a man whose status and strength are unknown to you?) and look at the real issue.

If a girl offers this information on your first meeting, chances are she’s not interested. Whether she is telling the truth or not is irrelevant. She’s not interested in you. You will waste an awful lot of time chasing her if not. Although men and women are quite different, you can usually gauge responses by putting yourself in the situation. You have a girlfriend, and she’s not here. A woman you fancy talks to you, do you tell her you have a girlfriend? Alternatively, you don’t like her, now do you tell her?

One thing I’ve learned whilst dating is that all the tricks, techniques and mindsets will not work if the woman you’ve gone for hasn’t decided you are a good mate. The sooner you can get hold of information that she’s not interested the better.

This is my response to the “I’ve got a boyfriend” line. It has to be said politely and with a smile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know having a boyfriend stopped you from making friends. Nice to meet you”

Turn around and don’t look back. Don’t even try to catch her eye later on in the night. Having done this a few times, I’ve gotten quite a few different responses. They all fall under these three categories:

1.
The woman is embarrassed, and sees the stupidity of the situation. She comes back, and tries to get your attention. I have had women buy me drinks, apologise, give out their number and I’ve even slept with a few of them. I’ve also made many female friends, who help in getting more women.

2.
The woman thinks nothing of it, and forgets you. She chats up other blokes in the place. You weren’t selected by her. It’s better than her saying “get lost ugly”.

3.
The woman actually has a boyfriend. He either arrives or she goes home without talking to anyone else.

Any way is a winner, and #1 is surprisingly the most popular response in my experience, so try it and see what happens. Most importantly though: Don’t waste time chasing women that are not interested. They may seem like an amazing prospect, but there are plenty of other prospects that require far less (or no) effort.
 

sux2bu

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“I’m sorry, I didn’t know having a boyfriend stopped you from making friends. Nice to meet you

I love this! This more or less puts them on a guilt trip for not even wanting to talk to you. Girls don't look at guys the same way when they're in a relationship. They are lured into a false sense of security that - "I already have a man... *rolls eyes*".
 

voodoolover

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If a girl offers this information on your first meeting, chances are she’s not interested. Whether she is telling the truth or not is irrelevant. She’s not interested in you.
Admittedly, it would be great to be able to conclude that a girl who says X means Y. Unfortunately, it ain't that simple.

In my experience, a girl will often mention a boyfriend (real or otherwise) to provide a challenge. A test, if you will.

The man's reaction can supposedly reveal his intentions.

Example 1-

AFC: can I have your number please?
girl: I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend.
AFC: Oh, OK. Bye.

Girl concludes that AFC was interested in sex and/or relationship.

Example 2-

AFC: I don't suppose we could swap numbers?
girl: I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend.
AFC: Oh, that's OK, I only want to be friends.
girl: Yeah, whatever.

Girl concludes that AFC is weak, non-sexual and, ultimately, not boyfriend material.

Example 3-

DJ: it's been good talking to you. We should get together sometime, what's your number?
girl: I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend.
DJ: I hope you weren't assuming that I want to be your boyfriend. What's your number?
girl: it's ######

Girl is intrigued - DJ is in control.

Finally, it's been well documented over at fastseduction.com that a lady will often mention her boyfriend in order to kill any guilt that may ensue from whatever she wants to happen.

For example - she wants you. But she has a bloke. So she tells you about her boyfriend. From then on, anything that happens was down to you. You approached her. You seduced her. And you took advantage of her. So she feels better.

It all comes down to what you want from her. As a man, and a Don Juan, you know what you want - and you take it.
 

Derek Flint

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“I’m sorry, I didn’t know having a boyfriend stopped you from making friends. Nice to meet you”

One small point - I would change the above quote to:

“I didn’t know having a boyfriend stopped you from talking to interesting, new people. Nice to meet you”
 

huisy

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To Flint:
Also a good quote. The end result is the same, but you are implying that you are an interesting person. Like it.

to voodoolover:
You have to judge the quote in context. If she has shown a consistent high interest and then offered this information then you may have a case. Women have often admitted to me just before, during or after cheating that they have a boyfriend. I do not think that a woman would want to "remove guilt" so early on. Women rarely think whilst talking to you "This guy is going to have me tonight". She's not sure she wants you, and if she is, she's not sure you want her. Therefore the thought would not cross her mind until she is very much into you.

I am willing to admit that it's quite possible she would say this as a challenge. If that is the case however, I'd prefer my strategy. If she was, surely I passed? I made her look stupid for putting such a pathetic challenge up. Perhaps the women who come back to approach me afterwards are these women that set the challenge. I think it works better than your approach, which essentially disregards the information. Have you had success with this method? I have only tried what you did once, and she just said "I'd better not". I have used my method many times, and it seems to get a good response at least 50% of the time.

In addition, if she gives you the number your way, it may well just be out of politeness. You could end up wasting more time on her. You could, of course, pull it off. However, my method screens the girls to seperate challengers from those who are not interested.
 

BGMan

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Well, if a girl says "I have a boyfriend" I just say whatever, bye. The reason being 1) I have gotten the numbers of lots of girls who don't have boyfriends, and 2) she's not interested. Bottom line: Mentioning a boyfriend is the fastest way to make me hit the EJECT button.

BGMan
 

voodoolover

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She's not sure she wants you, and if she is, she's not sure you want her. Therefore the thought would not cross her mind until she is very much into you.
It's fair to say that the timing of her "revelation" is important.

As far as my experience is concerned, a lady will usually only mention her boyfriend after I propose some sort of "continuation" of the interaction. Needless to say this only happens after she's shown interest.

I am willing to admit that it's quite possible she would say this as a challenge. If that is the case however, I'd prefer my strategy. If she was, surely I passed? I made her look stupid for putting such a pathetic challenge up.
I've no doubt that you did pass. I wonder, though, just how many girls with flexible interest levels would pass up the opportunity to swallow their pride and lick your boots after realisation of their mistake? A lot, I'd guess.

Less experienced guys are told to "next" a girl with whom you don't appear to share a common goal. On the other hand, for men who know the game, most challenges can be overcome.

Have you had success with this method? I have only tried what you did once, and she just said "I'd better not". I have used my method many times, and it seems to get a good response at least 50% of the time.
The benefit of my method is that it allows the conversation to continue. My third example shows an ideal scenario of the girl backing down almost immediately. In reality, a bit more haggling is usually required.

Your method requires the woman to take the initiative. In my experience, anything that requires a woman to take the initiative simply doesn't happen...

Yes, I've had success with this method. To quote a much-flamed article at sosuave.com, "confident persistence" is necessary.

In addition, if she gives you the number your way, it may well just be out of politeness. You could end up wasting more time on her. You could, of course, pull it off. However, my method screens the girls to seperate challengers from those who are not interested.
I like to see those who are not interested as challengers. It allows for much more by way of experimentation!

Be sure that I'll give your technique a shot the next time I get the opportunity. A 50% success rate directly after walking away sounds too good to be true!
 
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