A Beta’s Morning of the Past

[anonymous12345]

For me some kind of beta unplugging is going on, partly by Tomassi’s books. I’m 37, notch count 13, of which 2 were considered satisfactory (one affair and a mistress). It’s been many years without sex, and I am overall unsatisfied with my sex life so far, so:

• I envy all you here that are younger than me, and awakened much earlier or simply were/are better men. You already have or will have a better life when you reach my current age.
• I mourn the lost opportunities. Due to a high SMV I’ve had opportunities for models and the like, but due to my beta nature and what not I’ve freaked out. (and still working on these things.) “Lost pleasure” is a bit philosophical — how does that past matter now? I guess none, but it’s still plaguesome and hard to ignore. The “what/imagine if”.
• I’m ashamed of all these mistakes and my then strong beta nature; though hopeful I’ll fix it now to a satisfactory level.
• I got thoroughly rejected in early age, 21-23 (due to beta nature) by the two women I either loved or was strongly attracted to, and it maybe set the tone. I got this message “you’re not good enough”, despite having qualities that many successful men had so I couldn’t make sense of it and also took it to heart. Now later on I realise it was not because of what I did right, but what was wrong: all the beta things. And I’m getting closer to having those things fixed now.
• The way I’ve (not) been with women, does not match my ideal self identity which is rather traditional: a man who conquers women. It’s tough to bear.

I think all this above **** creates trouble for me. It’s a massive counter reaction from me: I want to fix this problem and fore mostly catch up from all that was lost.

Tomassi writes in book 2, chapter Mental Point or Origin:

“[…] It’s when I started putting women as a goal, making them into more than just a source of enjoyment, that I transferred that mental point of origin to her and I became the necessitous one.”

And that’s what I’ve done too. So the above bullet points is my mental point of origin, and it is grim. Hence my frame becomes grim, and I needy.

Many in the manosphere says “Be confident”, “have a good frame”, but how the hell do you practically achieve that? As Tomassi writes in book 1, if he knew how to solve these problems/get good at game he would be rich.

I think the kind of digging I do above, is one way to improve frame and confidence. Because, Tomassi writes the mental point of origin is the import and priority that populates that frame. Hence, I think the vulnerable psychological babble as above is what needs to be done — we need to look at and address the mental point of origin to fix our frames, if that is a significant source to trouble.

I made women my goal, just like Tomassi. I wonder how people fix this. I’ve since long lived with a panicked scarcity mindset as mental point of origin. I can’t just “focus on my grind” — nothing happens then. I’ve no trouble accepting The Burden of Performance (Tomassi, book 2): I need to do something actively, the question is what, how and how much.

As with Tomassi I once had alpha traits first because it came naturally, it’s after “the dent” and attempt to “synthetically reconstruct” that things gets hard.

Have you had a similar situation or know how to approach this?

 

[SW15]

For me some kind of beta unplugging is going on, partly by Tomassi’s books.

Beta unplugging is normal. Mothers, who often spend more time with their sons than fathers, teach their sons to be "nice guys". Mothers do this not out of maliciousness (in most cases) but because they think the ideal man is some nice guy. Nevermind that the mother was usually most responsive toward aloof men and bad boys when she was looking for penis for the most part. She might not have ended up having kids with the aloof guy, (often an alpha/sigma male), especially if she stayed on the market into the late 20s/early 30s and picked some beta provider to commit to her and impregnate her so she wouldn't miss out on motherhood.

A lot of media and cultural institutions are geared towards beta male-dom. The commonly prescribed life path of going to college and getting some white collar corporate job is often total beta male shiit.

I’m 37, notch count 13, of which 2 were considered satisfactory (one affair and a mistress). It’s been many years without sex, and I am overall unsatisfied with my sex life so far, so:

A 13 person notch count at 37 isn't bad on the surface. It's better than a lot of the kissless virgin incels. At 37, you are an early Millennial, which is when a lot of men started to experience a rougher sexual marketplace. Inceldom increased in the Millennial generation. There are actually plenty of Boomer and first half of Gen X guys (1965-1973 births) who if they had been born after 1980 or so, would have been more likely to have been sexless or minimal sex guys.

The most troubling thing from this is your extended time without sex.

I envy all you here that are younger than me, and awakened much earlier or simply were/are better men. You already have or will have a better life when you reach my current age.

Concerning yourself with that is quite beta. At 37, look at the positives. At least you are not going to spend the next 5-10 years married to some woman who is going to gradually restrict your frequency of sex while you pay a big mortgage and raise kids in some suburban house. You have freedom and opportunity.

I mourn the lost opportunities. Due to a high SMV I’ve had opportunities for models and the like, but due to my beta nature and what not I’ve freaked out. (and still working on these things.) “Lost pleasure” is a bit philosophical — how does that past matter now?

I got thoroughly rejected in early age, 21-23 (due to beta nature) by the two women I either loved or was strongly attracted to, and it maybe set the tone. I got this message “you’re not good enough”, despite having qualities that many successful men had so I couldn’t make sense of it and also took it to heart. Now later on I realise it was not because of what I did right, but what was wrong: all the beta things. And I’m getting closer to having those things fixed now.

This is normal. Forget it happened and focus on the present and future. If you need to work out some mental issues related to this, see a psychotherapist.

 

[anonymous12345]

Yeah, that fvcking whining is beta. Bloody victim role. Stay positive, look forward, compete with yourself.

The many years of absent sex was due to grabbing a quantitative master's degree, and I didn't focus on my life, doing that first now. It's a kind of The Curse of Potential as Tomassi writes about in RM2. 1/4 of the value I've built over the years would probably be enough. But the upside is that it probably doesn't hurt, especially after I've learned to not (over) qualify myself.

 

[Mike32ct]

It’s normal to regret past opportunities we missed. I think we all have done this. But we did the best we could have based on what we knew at the time. There is no way to take the knowledge you have now and go back for a re-do. Can only go forward.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Yeah, that fvcking whining is beta. Bloody victim role. Stay positive, look forward, compete with yourself.

The many years of absent sex was due to grabbing a quantitative master's degree, and I didn't focus on my life, doing that first now. It's a kind of The Curse of Potential as Tomassi writes about in RM2. 1/4 of the value I've built over the years would probably be enough. But the upside is that it probably doesn't hurt, especially after I've learned to not (over) qualify myself.

Star dust aka thinking ape brought up problems of the red pill. Rollo discussed it. If blue pill you don't know any better whereas red pill rarely if ever cross the abyss. It's no COINCIDENCE WHY there is no receipts in red pill (mostly). There's a lot of programs and ebooks. Few to no receipts.

Vet your guru. I can't emphasis this enough. Level up. Take your shot. The idea of unplugging and playing house imo is delusional yet the most belligerent in the space have no skin in the game. Case and point, as smart as Peterson is, he has no idea how to date in 2022 and nor do the majority of most self proclaimed gurus pedaling rubbish on YouTube. If there not out slinging D and getting girls in 2022, didn't happen. Cool story bro.

Good luck on your journey. Under 40? Assuming you stay healthy and fit, got money handled you are set. Modern women think getting ran through is empowering. Lulz+