5 year LTR, she's still not getting off...need advice

[ReconRhino]

First of all, I've been reading the posts here for the past few hours and it's a real eye-opener. I feel like I'm a huge AFC and this problem has been eating at me for years. Just to note, I've never talked about this to anyone else before, but hopefully someone will be able to relate or at least understand what I'm going through...

So for the past 5 years, I've been with this girl that I'm in love with and everything. We started dating in 10th grade in high school, and stayed together throughout all of college. We didn't start having sex until the freshman year of college, but before that we were doing everything else. Every time I gave her oral, she'd get into and it everything and then she said "it would just stop feeling good". Given that I was pretty young and inexperienced, I researched the hell out of it on the internet, on different techniques, ways to set the mood, etc. I tried a lot of stuff and nothing ever seemed to work. This went on for about 2 years, until we finally had a candid conversation about it where she said she had never gave herself and orgasm before. I was pretty angry about it, because all along, she had been making me feel like it was my fault that I wasn't "good" enough to get her off. She never came out and said that directly, but the feeling was implied.

So at about this point, we both go away to college. They're about 3 hours apart, but during freshman year we see each other about once a month. We finally have sex at this point, but it doesn't really do anything for her. Towards the end of freshman year, I decide to get her a vibrator (a small bullet one) to try and help her along. She tries it and seems to like it, but no help as far as getting her closer to an orgasm. Sophomore year passes with more of the same stuff.

I bought her an rabbit vibrator last summer for the hell of it and she says that she uses it on occasion, but again, she hasn't been able to get off. All this time, I've given her oral A LOT, but nothing ever seems to work. I've tried different positions, setting the mood (candles, music, etc), everything I can think of and everything that I've read online. It's like nothing works. At this point, when we talk about it, she seems to get frustrated, because I'll ask what did you like, what didn't you like, etc. I'm really starting to go completely crazy about it, because our sex life is becoming terrible. We'll have sex and she clearly enjoys it, but she's still not having an orgasm. It's absolutely killing my confidence with her, both in bed and in our relationship.

So my question to everyone is two-fold: is there anything left that I can do about this, or am I forced to just wait until she finally gets herself off and then go from there? And two, is this something that would cause her to cheat on me? Again, I'm probably being a big AFC, but I can't help but be concerned given that she goes to a different college and all. I trust her, but I guess I always have suspicions.

So there it is. Thanks for reading.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Try reading this one!

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16888

 

[Entropy4]

Lack of orgasms in women is mostly a psychological thing. It's rooted in how comfortable she is and getting rid of any sexual anxieties. If you've been together for five years, it's obvious she's comfortable with you. So she may have some psychological issues or anxieties about sex. I've seen this in girls who have been raped or sexually abused in their past.

Not only that, but studies have found that about 4% of women WILL NEVER ACHIEVE ORGASM. They're simply physically incapable. She may be one of those unlucky 4%.

 

[Warrior74]

the fact that you guys are stressin it is only gonna make it worse. slow things down in the bedroom. spend time just enjoying and exploring each others bodies.


And really. stop focking worrying about if she gets off. tag her like a dirty whor a few times. just ragg the shyte out of that ass and have your fun. you never know..she might get into that more than you licking on her for hours on end. Take that pussie like a focking animal. throw her up against the wall on the way to the bed room. Bring out that raw animal passion and it might get her where she needs to be.


btw. this damn cursing sensor is bullshyte. men have to talk like focking men sometimes. christ on a crutch!

 

[bugsquish]

Whoah your attitude is very revealing. You've built this up into a massive accusative thing, piled on the pressure, and now she's just defensive about it and feeling guilty. If that's not a mental block I don't know what is!

I can understand how you feel like you've failed somehow, but that's wrong. The main clue is that if she can't make herself come when shes alone, then how the hell can you expect to do it for her? The cold fact is that every woman is different. Some girls can come within 10 minutes of sex alone, and some girls, like Entropy said, just can't do it (prolly for psychological reasons that even she doesn't realise).

So stop beating yourself up about it. If you really want a girl who can come, this isn't the one. If you really are "in love" with this girl, then love her sans orgasm.

To be honest, when I'm getting involved with a girl, how easy she can orgasm is right up there in importance if I'm thinking about a LTR. I would rather have a HB8 who can orgasm easily every time, rather than a HB9 who can't orgasm at all. But that's just me.

 

[lordson]

get over it mate

she knows its hard for her to have an orgasma nd she accpets it so shoud you. do like the guy above me says, just have fun when your fvcking the sh!t out of her.

my girl doesn't orgasm that often, and she knows it, but she still loves having sex with me. she did orgasm last week, took about 30 minutes, and rougher stuff to do it

it doesn't spoil my enjoyment of sex or hers

you just need to chill the fck out and dont worry about it. its not a reflection on you