5 day 'break'

[Beebo]

Was reading the other break post and it made me wonder. my gf wants to be off break now...after less than a week. she admitted to liking someone else for a bit. This tuesday i should have a date with another girl. Here she wants to be together again. What the hell? This quick. it was her idea!! Read that she may have tested the waters with someone else before coming back to me. she ws very evasive on her whereabout 2 weeks ago before our break. Now i feel it should be my turn. I dont feel its been enough time for me to 'want her back', as i was pondering the idea of calling it all off.

 

[Shiftkey]

Extend your break or break it off completely. Whatever you do, don't get back with her on her terms - they have to be your terms.

 

[jakethasnake]

He is right. You have to tell her, "I'm not sure about us anymore; I'll have to think about it. Please call me in a few days."

Sound very calm and emotionless when you say this. Like when you feel so empty inside after greiving for weeks that you have nothing left inside you.


I would do it over the phone, and hang up first. Let the biatch stew for about 3 days or so. Let the insecurity and blow to the ego sink into her little heart. Then if you feel like it, "take her back". Only this time, it will be on your terms. She'll grovel at your feet like a grateful puppy when you throw it a bone.

 

[Starman]

I would get rid of this byatch once and for all,..if she left once to ride some other dudes pole..she will do it again and again..

gget rid of her..cut your losses now

 

[DankNuggs]

Power can never be gained, only given away....listen to what these guys are saying to put things back on your terms...And you should go on the date for your own accord to see what you think about dating again....

 

[jakethasnake]

Note that I said do this only IF you want to take her 'back'. If your gut's telling you not to, then DON'T. Trust your gut.

 

[drZaius09]

You've got to be f*ckin kidding me here. I've seen this one before: girl thinks she spots BBD, takes a "break" from her boyfriend to test her luck, ploy fails (either BBD rejects her, or turns out NOT to be all that bigger/better), girl goes running back to boyfriend with tail between legs.

Okay, here's the deal... Most guys will happily accept the prodigal b1tch back into their lives and try to forget the incident as if it never happened. I used to be one of those guys. I let an ex do this to me once, except it took her a few weeks to come back after she realized the other dude was a DUD. Guess what happened? She did it again not a month later, and I was sh1t out of luck with my balls in my hand for the SECOND TIME. As for you, make no mistake: there absolutely, positively, WAS another guy in the picture. She basically placed him above you, at least temporarily, and high enough above you to try to make the jump (remember the monkey analogy?) Now, how does that make you feel? Bottom line: you are now LOW on her ladder... at least lower than you used to be. If you take her back you will be making a huge error, because not only will you be allowing her to disrespect you, but you will also be disrespecting yourself, which in everyone's eyes is a much more egregious transgression. You will only continue to drop lower and lower on her ladder, until you are at the very bottom wiping the dirt off your lips.

Please learn from my mistake, so I won't feel as if all my days as an AFC were a total waste. Tell her this, "You know, even though I was opposed to it at first, I really feel like this 'break' was a good idea after all. I've had a chance to get out there and do my own thing and meet some new people, and I'm enjoying it. I'd like to continue the 'break' for now... maybe I'll give you a call in a few weeks or something." Then, never call again. When you talk to her, try to avoid saying things like "you blew it" or "too late now" or whatever, you'll just come off as bitter. Talk as if this break was the best possible thing for you, and let her INFER that she in fact blew it.

 

[Don Loco]

Great Info!!!

Originally posted by drZaius09
You've got to be f*ckin kidding me here. I've seen this one before: girl thinks she spots BBD, takes a "break" from her boyfriend to test her luck, ploy fails (either BBD rejects her, or turns out NOT to be all that bigger/better), girl goes running back to boyfriend with tail between legs.

Okay, here's the deal... Most guys will happily accept the prodigal b1tch back into their lives and try to forget the incident as if it never happened. I used to be one of those guys. I let an ex do this to me once, except it took her a few weeks to come back after she realized the other dude was a DUD. Guess what happened? She did it again not a month later, and I was sh1t out of luck with my balls in my hand for the SECOND TIME. As for you, make no mistake: there absolutely, positively, WAS another guy in the picture. She basically placed him above you, at least temporarily, and high enough above you to try to make the jump (remember the monkey analogy?) Now, how does that make you feel? Bottom line: you are now LOW on her ladder... at least lower than you used to be. If you take her back you will be making a huge error, because not only will you be allowing her to disrespect you, but you will also be disrespecting yourself, which in everyone's eyes is a much more egregious transgression. You will only continue to drop lower and lower on her ladder, until you are at the very bottom wiping the dirt off your lips.

Please learn from my mistake, so I won't feel as if all my days as an AFC were a total waste. Tell her this, "You know, even though I was opposed to it at first, I really feel like this 'break' was a good idea after all. I've had a chance to get out there and do my own thing and meet some new people, and I'm enjoying it. I'd like to continue the 'break' for now... maybe I'll give you a call in a few weeks or something." Then, never call again. When you talk to her, try to avoid saying things like "you blew it" or "too late now" or whatever, you'll just come off as bitter. Talk as if this break was the best possible thing for you, and let her IMPLY that she in fact blew it .

DrZaius, your advice is awesome. Great info

 

[PRMoon]

I'm at an impass between Dr Z. and the rest of the post on the board. Firstly, if you didn't know yes she saw another guy while you were on "break". Secondly this whole break thing should be taken seriously. It shows signs that she has doubts about you and the nature of your realtionship. If you want to continue on with her then you should definately extend it to give you time to think about the gravity of the situation and go over the details of the situation well enough to come up with the best possible solution.

You should definately go on what ever date you were sheduled to go on. You don't want to develop a reputation of being whipped because your girlfriend who wanted a break now wants you back so you should break it off blah blah blah... bottom line is you have a spine and its still in tact. You have to show her and everybody else that you are still your own man and when you set something up you should commit to it. Breaking your date is a major sign of weakness and will be interpeted by everyone as such.

I don't reccomend making a hasty decision to either break it off completely or jump back into it so quickly without spending some quality time alone doing whate ever it is that you do in your free time, thinking things over carefully. All in all you need to do what's best for you but it's up to you to figure out what that is.

 

[GirlCrazy]

I'm totally on board with drZaius09 too, except for one point. If you are too emotionally attached to this chick, then break it off for good just how the "doctor" said. But if you feel empowered, which it seems like you do, then by all means date this chick, but make it known that you are having a great time dating and aren't ready to be exclusive like you were before. Make her compete for your attention on equal footing with the other chicks you are dating. Don't treat her any more special than you would treat any other girl you're dating. You are in a great position here, trust me. Then after a while, if she's a good girl and behaves herself, you can decide if she's even worth taking back (probably not), and do it on your own terms. In the mean time you get to have your fun with her. Just remember that YOU are the bigger better deal, and act the part.

But whatever you do, learn by all our mistakes and for godsakes don't take her back with the same deal you had before, because if you do that she WILL bail on you for the next BBD.

 

[Beebo]

Thanks for all the advice so far guys. Ive even had ladies tell me that the break thing is to test water somewhere else. Should i confront her on her possible exploration? Obviously i dont think she is going to be truthful but wtheck right? But why would she want off break after a week??? Guess the new guy didnt pan out? She knows it would not be hard for me to find someone else. I know that she would not have slept with anyone else. But i dont want to look like an idiot. Without playing the game as well. Keep all you updated. Were on a break..but she still calls me at work and at home everyday. I have to answer eventually cuz she knows i am the only one that will answer the phone. This is a 'break'. I dont think so....

 

[bp1974]

Should i confront her on her possible exploration?

No - this is childish and shows her that she got to you and still has your balls in her pocket. Like you say, you'll never believe her whatever she tells you, so what's the point.

drZaius09 gave you great advice on what to do next:

Tell her this, "You know, even though I was opposed to it at first, I really feel like this 'break' was a good idea after all. I've had a chance to get out there and do my own thing and meet some new people, and I'm enjoying it. I'd like to continue the 'break' for now... maybe I'll give you a call in a few weeks or something." Then, never call again. When you talk to her, try to avoid saying things like "you blew it" or "too late now" or whatever, you'll just come off as bitter. Talk as if this break was the best possible thing for you, and let her INFER that she in fact blew it.

If she's asked for a break, it's already O-V-E-R.
Sorry buddy.

bp1974