5 Dating Lessons every guy should know

[CornbreadFed]

I am seeing a lot of woman's attraction related posts popping up, so I just wanted to give my two cents on the topic.

Lesson 1: Be Yourself. There’s No Skeleton Key

Stop trying to be someone you are not. There’s no magic formula that works on every woman. Sure, some guys seem to have it way easier than others, but that does not mean they are everyone’s type. Women are drawn to specific types, and your job is to find the ones who are into yours. The biggest mistake most men make is forcing themselves into a mold that does not fit—trying to be the fake alpha, the fake nice guy, or whatever they think women want.

If it is not authentic, it is not attractive. Women see through the act faster than you think. You are not going to be everyone’s ideal, and that is fine. Embrace who you are and aim for women who genuinely like that. You will get more authentic connections and save yourself a lot of wasted time and energy.


Lesson 2: You Are Always Competing. Get Over It

Dating is a competition, plain and simple. If that idea makes you uncomfortable, stick to one-night stands or pay to play. You are not just competing with other guys; you are also up against her fluctuating interest level. One day she is into you, the next she is entertaining someone else’s texts. Accept it because it is just part of the game. The best thing you can do is constantly work on yourself, maintain a strong masculine presence, and pursue your hobbies, especially those that align with hers if you choose to date. This way, you will always stay interesting and attractive to her.


Lesson 3: You Cannot Build Attraction. Do Not Force It

If it feels like you are constantly putting in more effort than you are getting back, cut your losses. Attraction is not something you can “build” through persistence or effort. If she likes you, it will happen naturally—either right away or when she is emotionally available. Otherwise, you are just grinding for a result that is never coming. There is no point in fighting for a spot in her life when she is giving someone else all the easy pitches. Your time and energy are worth more than that. If it is not working, move on and work on being the best version of yourself.


Lesson 4: Every Guy Can Be a 7 or 8

No one is saying you need to be a model, but almost every guy can make himself attractive to some women. Start with the basics: get a decent haircut, hit the gym, wear clothes that fit and flatter your build, and carry yourself with confidence. That is enough to put you in the 7 to 8 range for someone out there.

You are not going to be every woman’s dream guy, but that is not the point. Just put in the effort to present the best version of yourself and let the right people gravitate toward it.

Lesson 5: Ditch the Scarcity Mindset

Desperation is unattractive. Period. You can have the perfect look, the height, the money, and still get nowhere if you are chasing women who just are not into you. Building attraction where there is none is like trying to light a fire in the rain—it is exhausting and pointless.

When you operate from a scarcity mindset, you are setting yourself up for failure. If she is not feeling it, move on instead of clinging to the idea that you can change her mind. You are better off focusing on women who naturally vibe with you. Trust me, it will be way more enjoyable and way less frustrating.

 

[The Duke]

Lesson 3: You Cannot Build Attraction. Do Not Force It

Attraction is not something you can “build” through persistence or effort. If she likes you, it will happen naturally—eitherright away or when she is emotionally available. Otherwise, you are just grinding for a result that is never coming. There is no point in fighting for a spot in her life when she is giving someone else all the easy pitches. Your time and energy are worth more than that. If it is not working, move on and work on being the best version of yourself.

Ohh but you can build attraction. There was a time when I didn't and i struggled to get 2nd dates. Now days, 2nd dates are almost guaranteed for me.

The guys that get the easy pitches are the guys that she immediately puts out for that she felt chemistry/connection with, as @CaptFinnBad stated. Learn how to create chemistry and a connection and things will escalate much quicker than the guy who doesn't know.

Sure you move on if you aren't getting a return on your investment. The more you know how to create attraction, the better your returns. There will always be some form of investment.

 

[GoodMan32]

As for lesson 1, I wonder what type of woman (if any) would be into the true me long-term.

 

[SW15]

Lesson 1: Be Yourself.

I completely disagree with this one. This sounds a lot like the "Just Be Yourself" platitude fed to beta males and comment that betas make to each other.

Make yourself the best version of yourself possible. Find some characteristics that will generally be attractive.

Some men need to do massive self improvement to become somewhat attractive.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

I am seeing a lot of woman's attraction related posts popping up, so I just wanted to give my two cents on the topic.

Lesson 1: Be Yourself. There’s No Skeleton Key

Stop trying to be someone you are not. There’s no magic formula that works on every woman. Sure, some guys seem to have it way easier than others, but that does not mean they are everyone’s type. Women are drawn to specific types, and your job is to find the ones who are into yours. The biggest mistake most men make is forcing themselves into a mold that does not fit—trying to be the fake alpha, the fake nice guy, or whatever they think women want.

If it is not authentic, it is not attractive. Women see through the act faster than you think. You are not going to be everyone’s ideal, and that is fine. Embrace who you are and aim for women who genuinely like that. You will get more authentic connections and save yourself a lot of wasted time and energy.


Lesson 2: You Are Always Competing. Get Over It

Dating is a competition, plain and simple. If that idea makes you uncomfortable, stick to one-night stands or pay to play. You are not just competing with other guys; you are also up against her fluctuating interest level. One day she is into you, the next she is entertaining someone else’s texts. Accept it because it is just part of the game. The best thing you can do is constantly work on yourself, maintain a strong masculine presence, and pursue your hobbies, especially those that align with hers if you choose to date. This way, you will always stay interesting and attractive to her.


Lesson 3: You Cannot Build Attraction. Do Not Force It

If it feels like you are constantly putting in more effort than you are getting back, cut your losses. Attraction is not something you can “build” through persistence or effort. If she likes you, it will happen naturally—either right away or when she is emotionally available. Otherwise, you are just grinding for a result that is never coming. There is no point in fighting for a spot in her life when she is giving someone else all the easy pitches. Your time and energy are worth more than that. If it is not working, move on and work on being the best version of yourself.


Lesson 4: Every Guy Can Be a 7 or 8

No one is saying you need to be a model, but almost every guy can make himself attractive to some women. Start with the basics: get a decent haircut, hit the gym, wear clothes that fit and flatter your build, and carry yourself with confidence. That is enough to put you in the 7 to 8 range for someone out there.

You are not going to be every woman’s dream guy, but that is not the point. Just put in the effort to present the best version of yourself and let the right people gravitate toward it.

Lesson 5: Ditch the Scarcity Mindset

Desperation is unattractive. Period. You can have the perfect look, the height, the money, and still get nowhere if you are chasing women who just are not into you. Building attraction where there is none is like trying to light a fire in the rain—it is exhausting and pointless.

When you operate from a scarcity mindset, you are setting yourself up for failure. If she is not feeling it, move on instead of clinging to the idea that you can change her mind. You are better off focusing on women who naturally vibe with you. Trust me, it will be way more enjoyable and way less frustrating.

I think this is a great list. Perhaps make add make a woman work for you ?

If she's going out her way, she's investing, the more you invest/put in work the more value it has.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Ohh but you can build attraction. There was a time when I didn't and i struggled to get 2nd dates. Now days, 2nd dates are almost guaranteed for me.

Even at our lowest points, there were women that gave us a pre-signaled curveball pitch and we still missed because we were just not good then or bad timing. They might not have showed high Interest, but you could easily tell there was a foundational level of interest level there because you happened to be attractive to her.

 

[Solomon]

I am seeing a lot of woman's attraction related posts popping up, so I just wanted to give my two cents on the topic.

Lesson 1: Be Yourself. There’s No Skeleton Key

Stop trying to be someone you are not. There’s no magic formula that works on every woman. Sure, some guys seem to have it way easier than others, but that does not mean they are everyone’s type. Women are drawn to specific types, and your job is to find the ones who are into yours. The biggest mistake most men make is forcing themselves into a mold that does not fit—trying to be the fake alpha, the fake nice guy, or whatever they think women want.

If it is not authentic, it is not attractive. Women see through the act faster than you think. You are not going to be everyone’s ideal, and that is fine. Embrace who you are and aim for women who genuinely like that. You will get more authentic connections and save yourself a lot of wasted time and energy.

I would say be your "Best Self" This goes in line with your lessons's 4&5. How many men can truly say they are their bestselves? Not just physically and financially? but spiritually? mental health wise, and personality wise etc. I'm not saying you have to be perfect. However, changes to your lifestyle as you mentioned i.e. gym, grooming etc. Can do huge wonders for your personality

Lesson 2: You Are Always Competing. Get Over It

Dating is a competition, plain and simple. If that idea makes you uncomfortable, stick to one-night stands or pay to play. You are not just competing with other guys; you are also up against her fluctuating interest level. One day she is into you, the next she is entertaining someone else’s texts. Accept it because it is just part of the game. The best thing you can do is constantly work on yourself, maintain a strong masculine presence, and pursue your hobbies, especially those that align with hers if you choose to date. This way, you will always stay interesting and attractive to her.

This used to be understood and accepted not just on this site but in general. The reality is that social media and OLD have changed the mating game to a point that even if a woman is not using OLD she has many men in her phone

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

youtube.com

A lot of men are frustrated because of this and lack of success, however, a lot of men have failed to adapt to this changing landscape. The truth is the game is ruthless and you have to use any advantage you have, whether big or small(personality, game, looks, status, money, intelligence, social circle, online presence etc). Throughout human history, approximately 40% of men reproduce, 60% of men don't. The 1950s era of dating/mating a lot of men wish for is never coming back, so stop hoping. We are about to enter the age of "AI" and if you are having problems getting women now. AI will increase the competition even further. You will have men who will figure out how to utilize AI agents to have better conversations and game with women(already happening now i.e. ChatGPT). Nerds who will be "Mini Elon Musk" . Who will attain wealth and leverage it to mate and hook up with gorgeous or pretty women, even if they(The men) are ugly or average at best. You will also being against Chad2.0, but Chad2.0 will have a 200IQ thanks to neuralink or an AI chip implanted in their brain. Now, not only is Chad good-looking and already garnering the attention of hot women but he is intelligent enough to logistically be able to run a 20+ women harem with no problems. Having his own Bunny ranch so to speak (but he's not the client he's the boss) were women will cook, clean for him and all he has to do is service them.

But I digress; the point is you have to compete and utilize anything you have in your arsenal but you also must adapt.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I completely disagree with this one. This sounds a lot like the "Just Be Yourself" platitude fed to beta males and comment that betas make to each other.

Make yourself the best version of yourself possible. Find some characteristics that will generally be attractive.

Some men need to do massive self improvement to become somewhat attractive.

“Be yourself” has a negative reputation because most men are told to be yourself when they are in a scarcity mindset, like when they are chasing one specific woman (oneitis) or a small selection of women. In reality, being yourself works in the long run because it helps you develop genuine confidence and social skills with women.

Guys who fail to do this authentically often find themselves stuck in situations where they cannot progress past the “talking” or “honeymoon” phase, or they get nowhere because they remain trapped in a scarcity mindset. They keep thinking they will eventually unlock a woman or a type of woman they are not naturally compatible with.

 

[RangerMIke]

There is a difference between attraction and interest. I'm inclined to agree you can't build attraction without self-improvement. You can however build interest. The higher a woman's interest... the more attracted she will become. It's a fine line.....

 

[New_Journey]

I am seeing a lot of woman's attraction related posts popping up, so I just wanted to give my two cents on the topic.

Lesson 1: Be Yourself. There’s No Skeleton Key

Stop trying to be someone you are not. There’s no magic formula that works on every woman. Sure, some guys seem to have it way easier than others, but that does not mean they are everyone’s type. Women are drawn to specific types, and your job is to find the ones who are into yours. The biggest mistake most men make is forcing themselves into a mold that does not fit—trying to be the fake alpha, the fake nice guy, or whatever they think women want.

If it is not authentic, it is not attractive. Women see through the act faster than you think. You are not going to be everyone’s ideal, and that is fine. Embrace who you are and aim for women who genuinely like that. You will get more authentic connections and save yourself a lot of wasted time and energy.


Lesson 2: You Are Always Competing. Get Over It

Dating is a competition, plain and simple. If that idea makes you uncomfortable, stick to one-night stands or pay to play. You are not just competing with other guys; you are also up against her fluctuating interest level. One day she is into you, the next she is entertaining someone else’s texts. Accept it because it is just part of the game. The best thing you can do is constantly work on yourself, maintain a strong masculine presence, and pursue your hobbies, especially those that align with hers if you choose to date. This way, you will always stay interesting and attractive to her.


Lesson 3: You Cannot Build Attraction. Do Not Force It

If it feels like you are constantly putting in more effort than you are getting back, cut your losses. Attraction is not something you can “build” through persistence or effort. If she likes you, it will happen naturally—either right away or when she is emotionally available. Otherwise, you are just grinding for a result that is never coming. There is no point in fighting for a spot in her life when she is giving someone else all the easy pitches. Your time and energy are worth more than that. If it is not working, move on and work on being the best version of yourself.


Lesson 4: Every Guy Can Be a 7 or 8

No one is saying you need to be a model, but almost every guy can make himself attractive to some women. Start with the basics: get a decent haircut, hit the gym, wear clothes that fit and flatter your build, and carry yourself with confidence. That is enough to put you in the 7 to 8 range for someone out there.

You are not going to be every woman’s dream guy, but that is not the point. Just put in the effort to present the best version of yourself and let the right people gravitate toward it.

Lesson 5: Ditch the Scarcity Mindset

Desperation is unattractive. Period. You can have the perfect look, the height, the money, and still get nowhere if you are chasing women who just are not into you. Building attraction where there is none is like trying to light a fire in the rain—it is exhausting and pointless.

When you operate from a scarcity mindset, you are setting yourself up for failure. If she is not feeling it, move on instead of clinging to the idea that you can change her mind. You are better off focusing on women who naturally vibe with you. Trust me, it will be way more enjoyable and way less frustrating.

Solid post. I would say be the best self you can be as others have stated.

As for lesson 1, I wonder what type of woman (if any) would be into the true me long-term.

Are you a man worthy of a true long-term? Because majority of women out there want that.

 

[GoodMan32]

Solid post. I would say be the best self you can be as others have stated.


Are you a man worthy of a true long-term? Because majority of women out there want that.

Most who are familiar with my posts would say no, I'm not a worthy man.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Every Guy Can Be a 7 or 8

Only point I disagree on.