35-42 yo chick at my gym is smoking hot, I'm 25, what to do?

[Infamous J]

K long story short. I'd say she's anywhere from 35-42, and she owns the gym I work out at but we've only talked once or twice. She's a tight lil' shortie, 5'3" or so but she's tan, muscular and toned. It's pretty obvious to me she's done shows, probably even roids on occasion but I don't care 'cause her body is bangin' and she's got a super cute face.

Most of the guys in that gym are afc around her, but pretty much all I do is smile at her or ask her if she's done with whatever machine or weights I want to use next. She normally replies with a nervous smile and simple yes and we both go on our ways.

I'm 25, and though we've never really had a conversation I've been working out in gyms long enough to know how to work the mirrors and watch people watching you without them knowing it. She watches me consistently and I'm not sure if she just likes what she sees or wants to jump my bones or both.

I've never even messed with a woman that much older than me, but to be honest I just want to bone her and get the hell out. So, seeing as how she owns the gym and I'm not sure as to her marital status, what's the best way to go about this? Also in your experience how often are women interested in guys 10+ years younger than them?

 

[Kris Hansen]

In my experience, women are attracted to men who are attractive, regardless of age. At 16, I made out with a 42 year old mother other two. You're in the safe zone as far as the age difference is concerned. Of more concern to me is her status as a power figure over you. Not in the sense that she can boss you around or anything, but if you 'hit it and quit it' as the young boys say, there could be some real repercussions for you at the gym. It could even mean you'd need to find a new place to work out, if the politics get bad enough.

Mostly, I'd just put your intentions flat on the table. State your intentions flat out. Mature women (in attitude, not neccessarilly age) are usually more than willing to get involved in a one-night-stand if they know that's what they're getting into. It's when they expect more from the relationship that things start to get iffy. It will make getting past her last minute resistance a little more difficult, I think, but it will be worth it in the end for if the political fallout is minimized.

 

[Kris Hansen]

Well he has to let her know eventually. Preferably before he takes off her clothes.

I'm not saying it should be like "Damn. We should go back to your place and **** like rabbits." I'm suggesting that he should make her quite aware of his intentions. "I find a woman who cares about her fitness sexy." Or make cute little comments about biting her. Or something. You can build your own statements of intent, but you need to get across a couple of key ideas:

1) At some point in the near future, we should be naked together.
2) I find you sexy for a personality trait, not your body.
3) Relationships aren't really my bag at the moment.

How you communicate those ideas is up to you. I go pretty direct with it (I'm personally a big fan of actually saying "At some point in the near future, we should be naked together," and watching reactions), but your mileage may vary.

Read up on Juggler for more information on SOIs and how to incorporate them into your game.

 

[The Inside Man]

Wow dude^ are you kidding? How often has saying "At some point in the near future, my calculations predict we should become naked together with each other" worked? so I exaggerated but it still sounds ridic., OP I would not follow that advice. Get to know her. Small talk a little bit. If its someone you see often like at the gym, build it up with small interactions instead of throwing all your cards down, especially not in a way hansen says.

Theres a hot 38 yo in my grad class, and since I see her every thursday for the next year and a half I wouldn't ask her out directly. I get to know her though, flirt some, and maybe something will happen down the road. But honestly I'm more focused on chicks my age but if you really want to get with this chick, just open up with some small talk or a joke and ask her some q.s about herself.

As for the married thing--check for the ring bro. you're 25 you should know that by now lol. although some people don't wear wedding bands these days.

 

[thehexman]

Wow dude^ are you kidding? How often has saying "At some point in the near future, my calculations predict we should become naked together with each other" worked? so I exaggerated but it still sounds ridic., OP I would not follow that advice. Get to know her. Small talk a little bit. If its someone you see often like at the gym, build it up with small interactions instead of throwing all your cards down, especially not in a way hansen says.

As for the married thing--check for the ring bro. you're 25 you should know that by now lol. although some people don't wear wedding bands these days.

First of all he is to subtly communicate all this, point 1-3, no to say it out loud. Make small talk, jokes, whatever, get it across. As a DJ, this should not be a great problem.

Rings are not really an indicator, because I've found that many women will wear rings either to thwart off men or for jewelry. Also wedding rings/ engagement rings are worn on different hands depending on cultural background. Get to know her better and you will know, especially if you communicate your intentions.

 

[Kris Hansen]

Obviously, for a line as direct as "we should be naked together," everything depends on your delivery. Going that direct works for some people, and won't work for others. Thehexman has the right of it, though: most guys are going to want to communicate points 1-3 subtly.

I think the more important bit is a question of timing. Of course you're not going to want to blurt out how sexy you find her at the beginning of an interaction with her. Use your words like you use the sense of touch. Escalate from innocent to sexual in a gradual curve.

 

[saber]

kinda sounds like she is a big afc and feeds off the validation of others...

how did she aquire the gym? she sounds like she has the menatlity of a guy who feels worhtless unless there is some evidence of achievment

i wouldn't go direct if you think she is socialy awkward because you are putting a lot of pressure and outcome dependency on the whole thing

she is probably dying to offer her help and opinion or

maybee shes a dyke...hard to say

 

[Drum&Bass]

Usually a woman that looks great is FIT and in SHAPE isn't thinking about meeting or talking to guys. Chances are, if you think she's hot LOTS of other guys think so as well. If you really want to catch her attention talk about something fitness related and general.

"I find a woman who cares about her fitness sexy." Or make cute little comments about biting her. Or something. You can build your own statements of intent, but you need to get across a couple of key ideas:

THIS IS HORRIBLE ADVICE and you will come off like a desperate creep. DO NOT IN ANY WAY bring the conversation down to an intimate level EVER !!

take it from an official personal trainer who see's and here's the complaints of numerous women about creepy members who think a girl that looks at them means she wants to get to know them.

reality is...most times when women or men are looking at you, there probably checking your form or how much weight your lifting, possibly even your physique, but there not really interested in meeting you for a drink somewhere.

 

[JackPrescott]

Very true. Let her approach you, she is running a gym, not having sexual fantasies about you two sleeping naked.

 

[Chikito]

DO NOT IN ANY WAY bring the conversation down to an intimate level EVER !!

Gosh thats what ive been doing wrong all these years! I should just talk about the weather then jump her pants!

All this time i've wasted in dark corners of clubs or on my couch asking girls what their deepest desires are for no reason! Phew load off my chest.

 

[Drum&Bass]

All this time i've wasted in dark corners of clubs or on my couch asking girls what their deepest desires are for no reason! Phew load off my chest.

we're talking about a gym, Not a bar thats designed for people to meet and hook up.

you're saying don't hit on her at all?

Theres a huge risk involved. You can blatantly hit on her and a few things might happen.

She MIGHT, be attracted to you and you might be able to take her out, but in reality thats probably NOT gonna happen. So then you create a weird vibe, she's gonna feel uncomfortable around you and your reputation at that gym will be shot. Gyms are HUGE gossip centers and word gets around to EVERYONE. so you have to ask yourself..is it worth it ???

Sure there are lots of attractive women at a gym but the odds of dating these women are LOW..think of a gym as professional environment where men, women, kids and families come to improve themselves. If you go around approaching women you will develop a reputation and it won't be good.

You gotta keep in mind you are gonna be seeing these same people everyday for years. Your better off not shitting where you eat. Just meet women in social places that are designed for that kind of stuff. You may encounter the occasional attention whore or slut but a HUGE MAJORITY of those women are NOT there to meet guys. They like when guys look and think there attractive, but who wouldn't get an ego boost from that ?? Doesn't mean they want you to come up and flirt with them.

I'm only telling you this to look out for you. I work in several gyms and you can be the nicest, coolest person around, all it takes is a good looking girl a few suggestive comments and, BAM ! big trouble.

Do what you want..I just don't think the risk is worth a piece off ass

 

[Jitterbug]

Unless you're an absolute sleezebag, what kind of reputation can you develop if you approach those women with gentlemanly manners? What are they gonna do to you? It's not like work. You don't have to work or interact with people you meet at the gym. If your approach fails, big deal. What is this huge risk you're talking about? Most hookups happen through social circles which include places people frequent.

 

[Methuselah]

I'm afraid you guys are playing it a bit too safe, and drastically misunderstanding the idea of a 'statement of intent'.

 

[Jitterbug]

what do you mean what's the huge risk? The lady works there! They'll have to make eye contact every time he goes to the gym.

Oh of course, the eye contact! Sure, that'd be like looking into the Eye of Sauron or something. That's a huge risk alright...

 

[aldaris]

damn, she will be 90 before you guys decide what the hell this guy should do. she is old. she might even be sterile by now. aldaris wants this boy to go up to this broad tomorrow and ask her if she will help spot him. the sweat, grunting, and muscles will either repulse her or put this dude over the top with her. if he does it i will rep the little bastard to the max! if he doesn't i will rep the first person who does do this to the max! advice means nothing without action.

hey, if the *****es want peace in a gym they should stay home or find one of those female gyms. the gym is for pumpin' and humpin'. right?

 

[Drum&Bass]

hey, if the *****es want peace in a gym they should stay home or find one of those female gyms. the gym is for pumpin' and humpin'. right?

WRONG, and its dudes like you that are the scumbags we have to here complaints about. you AFC's are desperate. Dude find a more appropriate setting to pick up girls.

What happens if it is some dudes girlfriend or wife ?? Are you saying she doesn't have a right to work out and get in shape like everyone else without having to be hassled by every horny chump that has no self control ?

 

[Andromax]

watch out for chicks that've done 'roids their ****s look like mini cacks.

 

[aldaris]

WRONG, and its dudes like you that are the scumbags we have to here complaints about. you AFC's are desperate. Dude find a more appropriate setting to pick up girls.

What happens if it is some dudes girlfriend or wife ?? Are you saying she doesn't have a right to work out and get in shape like everyone else without having to be hassled by every horny chump that has no self control ?

you sound like a sissy boy! so i guess in sissy boy world you can't talk to hors that look at you for long periods of time?

her sissy boy husband should keep her away from men lifting. they have female gyms just for that. if i am lifting and a hor is looking i am not going to play the role of the shy little boy. not my fault that her husband or bf can't take care of her needs. if he won't this little guy should give her the best 5 minutes of her life.

afc? an afc is a guy who respects anything that is interested in him and isn't a virgin. my crew of one and i say, "respect virgins and bang the rest!"

 

[Last Man Standing]

...At 16, I made out with a 42 year old mother of two.

OMG!!! You're a reverse pervert!!!!

Somebody call "Adult Protection Services" (APS) and report this guy!!!!

 

[Drum&Bass]

not my fault that her husband or bf can't take care of her needs. if he won't this little guy should give her the best 5 minutes of her life.

I guess thats the problem with me, I don't think I'd like myself very much if I knew I had the potential to ruin someones life or break up a family. It may be inevitable that she cheats, but I don't wanna be the guy responsible for hurting anyone.

If a girl gives you a good vibe and she is single and seems interested then by all means take things as far as they can go but I personally don't initiate anything in those environments unless I know its a guarantee.