3 months of friendship before sex

[DonJuanabe]

What do you guys think about that -- a woman who wants dating to be establishing a real friendship before sex. Hanging out, going places, doing things, but no sex until the two of you really know each other very well.

A friend of mine has been dating a girl for a few weeks who seems to be interested in him but recently told him that is how she dates (including prior relationships). She has hobbies/activities in common with him that he really likes and specifically looks for in women. He met her on Match.com and gave her an ultimatum: take down your profile and I'll date you that way, but it must be exclusive between us. Otherwise he is gone.

 

[Maximummax]

Some girls look for a better deal to come. I am pretty sure she is one of them, other wise why would she still have the profile. If she meets that guy who is better than your friend she will ignore your friend, she is loosing nothing.

 

[DonJuanabe]

I think that's why my friend told her to make a choice: him and no one else; or everyone else but not him. Fish or cut bait as they say.

 

[Maximummax]

I don't know why your friend gave her ultimatum to her, he doesn't own her. just notice for red flags and than dump her. She might be bored or desperate so she is just passing time with a guy off match.com.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Well, he actually likes the girl, but he does not spin plates. I think he is at a point where what he perceives as BS outweighs his feelings for her and, if it's over he actually doesn't mind. As he told me, mental preoccupation with a girl isn't worth it, he'd rather be thinking about his hobbies, or work, or eating an ice cream sundae. He basically told her behave or I walk, which shifts the power in his favor and calls out how she really feels.

 

[bigneil]

What do you guys think about that -- a woman who wants dating to be establishing a real friendship before sex. Hanging out, going places, doing things, but no sex until the two of you really know each other very well.

A friend of mine has been dating a girl for a few weeks who seems to be interested in him but recently told him that is how she dates (including prior relationships). She has hobbies/activities in common with him that he really likes and specifically looks for in women. He met her on Match.com and gave her an ultimatum: take down your profile and I'll date you that way, but it must be exclusive between us. Otherwise he is gone.

I think 3 months sucks. She'll then meet some hot guy and have unprotected sex within minutes.

 

[DonJuanabe]

My friend has other opportunities but isn't willing to pursue them while interested in this particular girl. He knows that if he continues seeing her but she still has a profile then he is wasting his time because he is giving up opportunities with other girls who are already willing to date exclusively. I guess if the girl says no and he walks he frees up other possibilities that he has on the back burner, so either way is win-win for him.

 

[djokovic77]

No way. I'm not friends with girls. Acquaintaces, sure. Friends of my girlfriend/us as a couple, sure. a 3 month courting period, she can go f8ck herself.

 

[Solomon]

What do you guys think about that -- a woman who wants dating to be establishing a real friendship before sex. Hanging out, going places, doing things, but no sex until the two of you really know each other very well.

A friend of mine has been dating a girl for a few weeks who seems to be interested in him but recently told him that is how she dates (including prior relationships). She has hobbies/activities in common with him that he really likes and specifically looks for in women. He met her on Match.com and gave her an ultimatum: take down your profile and I'll date you that way, but it must be exclusive between us. Otherwise he is gone.

If a woman told me this she better be

1. a Virgin
2. a true blue Christian

I've dealt with women like those and typically they do that to set the frame in the relationship and see how much b.s. you will tolerate. Sure some of them are geniniue but it's half and half in my experince.

Your friend is actually smart in telling her to cut her profile of or else. If she is giving him the stickler he has the right to do it back

Personally for me I talked to a woman who said "6 months" and I told her "oh well too bad, cause If i really like someone it doesnt matter its how mature we are but good luck" she was really shocked, I turned her down, a pretty young lady, and oh did I mention she had 3 kids too boot and was on welfare :crackup:

p.s. It's women like that, that make me not take women serious, cause guranteed there was a guy who hit it within "3 hours" and never called her back so now she is resorting to these tactics.....shame

 

[Robert28]

If a woman told me this she better be

1. a Virgin
2. a true blue Christian

I've dealt with women like those and typically they do that to set the frame in the relationship and see how much b.s. you will tolerate. Sure some of them are geniniue but it's half and half in my experince.

Your friend is actually smart in telling her to cut her profile of or else. If she is giving him the stickler he has the right to do it back

Personally for me I talked to a woman who said "6 months" and I told her "oh well too bad, cause If i really like someone it doesnt matter its how mature we are but good luck" she was really shocked, I turned her down, a pretty young lady, and oh did I mention she had 3 kids too boot and was on welfare :crackup:

p.s. It's women like that, that make me not take women serious, cause guranteed there was a guy who hit it within "3 hours" and never called her back so now she is resorting to these tactics.....shame

Bingo! when a girl mentions she wants to "start off as friends" I say "that's fine and dandy, but just so you know whenever I hangout with my friends they pay their own way". watch how fast she doesnt want to be your friend after that.lol if a girl wants to call you a friend, TREAT her as such. when im out with my friends i pay for me and they pay for themselves, i flirt with any girl i want to, ill fart at the table and scratch my balls if i want to, ill tell crude jokes. if a woman wants to be my friend well shes going to get the friendship package which she might not like.

 

[MisterD]

if she wants to be friends before dating, that's fine. but i would make it clear to her that if i'm not getting sex from her, i will get it somewhere else

 

[DonJuanabe]

I think the smart thing is that he sensed her interest level isn't that high and she probably is doing the same thing with other guys. The guys who are cool with it are basically sycophants, and the best way for him to raise her interest level is to tell her he is willing to walk. If he ends up walking then her interest level not only didn't increase, it wasn't high enough for there to be a relationship anyway, and he didn't spend two months developing feelings for her only to have his heart broken.

 

[MisterD]

the best way for him to raise her interest level is to tell her he is willing to walk.

i think the best way is to either actually walk or to show her without actually saying it

in my experience, ultimatums come from people that are desperate and in a last ditch effort to get their way, present a threat

either you do blah blah blah, or i'll (insert some dramatic answer here)

i personally don't respond well to these threats and end up walking myself

if the chick says either you do xyz or i'll walk. i say haha, no worries, it was nice knowing you.

they usually accept my frame and have lost even more power as a result

 

[nismo-4]

3 months of friendship before sex? Judge nismo rules that bullsh*t!

The way I see it, that's just withheld sex until a better looking prospect shows up. If a muscleman shows up, she'll drop her panties for sure very quickly while still withholding sex from you.

Ultimatums really don't work in the guy's favor. Women belong to everybody and nobody.

Women withhold sex and companionship from guys they aren't attracted to. One who wants to be friends first has problems with men and wants to see how much of a doormat you'll be. i.e. How high is the pedestal she's on? How much bullsh*t will you tolerate? Put your foot down.

Remember, just as easily as you can walk away from her, there are about 100 nearby guys who'll bend over backwards for her (or the chance to touch her.)

Always spin plates. :yes:

Case closed.

 

[Zerro]

if she wants to be friends before dating, that's fine. but i would make it clear to her that if i'm not getting sex from her, i will get it somewhere else

Exactly, if she expects you to not pay attention to other chicks in the meantime then she's got another thing coming.

 

[nightcrawler]

hey dude,

Stay with her friends, but don't let her forget that you wanna stick your penis inside her vagina.

You can do this by flirting with her.

While you are flirting with her, also seek out other women and tell her of the women you are dating etc. You guys are just friends after all...and part of being friends is sharing life experiences.

The above will make her jealous and want you.

Remember though...always keep a frame that yea...you wanna hit it...eventually they break and will **** you...weather it be pure lust, moment of weakness, alcohol, etc.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I've seen a lot of girls online who give the "friends first" speech, but that one is always safely ignored because it's just part of the random meaningless firing of neurons that make her feel "in control".

Once I meet them, that goes right out the window. I usually tell them "There is no such thing as friends first. We are meeting to see if there is a connection and a potential for romance."

Now by this time I already have her completely under my spell and she will agree with me. She is under my spell because I always pre-qualify before going out with them. For me to commit to a date I need to know that she's already enchanted with me.

This girl sounds different though. She is serious about imposing her frame upon the progression of the relationship, and that is a distinct no-no in my book.

I LOVE Robert's handling. I'm going to try that just for fun.

 

[BigJimbo]

Dude, it don't drip oil! That thing stink!

If she isn't a virgin don't wait beyond the first date. Just come out and tell her that. She is damaged goods. You are going places where other guys pee-pee machines have been. Would you have waited three months to wear another guys crusty old briefs that had turned from white to a sickly yellow color?

If you are not going to get a fresh virgin my suggestion is to cut her no slack. If she dumps you what have you lost? A trip to the doctor to get your "love rod" inspected? Think about it, guys.

I only respect virgins and woman who were virgins when they got married. The rest are bimbos who should get no respect.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Where do you find these virgins, and how do you determine they actually are virgins?

 

[handle]

I've seen a lot of girls online who give the "friends first" speech, but that one is always safely ignored because it's just part of the random meaningless firing of neurons that make her feel "in control".

Yeah. I've only run into this 'friends first' thing once and I just ignored it. Fact of the matter is once things escalate... They escalate. Unless said girl is actually extremely religious, which is almost never the reality.