2year LTR lost her virginity to a rebound.. Question.

[MrGold]

I wasnt in a rush to lose it, we started going out at 16 and broke up at 18, and didnt really get a chance even though i really wanted to.. She moved away and ultimately lost her virginity to a rebound. she started 'fooling around with him' around to weeks after we broke up and recently broke up with him. BTW, she admitted all of this to me, so im not making any assumptions. Now forward to 2weeks ago.. (after around a year of no contact)... We bump into each other at a club and she admits she still loves me and cares for me and all that and makes out there was a chance we could get back together.. So we talked and initially the AFC and oneitis in me began to creep back in. We were really in love and i did care a huge deal about her.

Eventually (after a couple of weeks of 'i miss you's' and 'i still love you's') the DJ forced it way back in and i basically told her to fvck off :rockon: :rockon: said a couple of harsh things which i kinda regret consisting of, 'your damaged goods', 'your a disappointment', 'you have no right to lead me on'. I was a little cheesed at the fact that she 'made love' him and not me.

Now her AFC ex-bf whom she says she doesnt really love (kinda feel bad on the dude) is doin wha AFC's do to get their ex back rite... and ive totally cut contact.... again. Shes always been loyal and its fair to say humans make mistakes, but is a rebound for a year qualify as a rebound?...... Say i wanted to get back with her in the future, considering we ended our last interaction on back terms, what would i have to do? All opinions welcome. Im kinda confused on what to do with her? Next it? Or save it for later? She was an amazing GF, we clicked almost instantly and even to this day we'd get along real well... Where im from, its rare to find a girl like her. But i kinda find it disturbing that shes bin fvckin this ugly fat dude..

That fact that im still a virgin kinda wounds me, reason being because i believe the first time is gonna be something your gonna remember for the rest of your life and i wanted to lose it to the one i loved.. She admited the fact that her 'first-time' should have been with me and she regretted everything she did with him because it didnt really mean anything and that she thought she was happy (this dudes weird, manipulative stalker kinda dude ). I mean, im good looking, well groomed, i dont have a small or irregular pen!s and all and i know she still wants me (even though she wont immediately admit it) but i dont know how to go about it. Would it be in my best interest to continue a relationship with her or not?

Thanks in advance, Gold.

 

[KontrollerX]

"I wasnt in a rush to lose it, we started going out at 16 and broke up at 18, and didnt really get a chance even though i really wanted to.. She moved away and ultimately lost her virginity to a rebound."

Yeah it seems that she was blue balling you and not very attracted to you.
She enjoyed your company was all and then fvcked the guy who really lit her fire.
Not trying to insult you btw just giving you my opinion since I think you are looking to learn as much as you can.

"she started 'fooling around with him' around to weeks after we broke up and recently broke up with him. BTW, she admitted all of this to me, so im not making any assumptions."

Yeah see two weeks is a bit soon for someone to just suddenly meet another guy and get it on with him after a long and meaningful relationship. Basically what I'm saying is more than likely she was fooling around with him while involved with you but you just didn't know about it since she kept it hidden so well.

"Now forward to 2weeks ago.. (after around a year of no contact)... We bump into each other at a club and she admits she still loves me and cares for me and all that and makes out there was a chance we could get back together.. So we talked and initially the AFC and oneitis in me began to creep back in. We were really in love and i did care a huge deal about her."

I have no doubt YOU loved her but her actions of blue balling you and being fine with a breakup speak volumes about what she really thinks of you.

"Eventually (after a couple of weeks of 'i miss you's' and 'i still love you's') the DJ forced it way back in and i basically told her to fvck off said a couple of harsh things which i kinda regret consisting of, 'your damaged goods', 'your a disappointment', 'you have no right to lead me on'. I was a little cheesed at the fact that she 'made love' him and not me. Tuff sh!t i guess."

Well yeah walking away is a much better thing for a DJ to do from a damaged goods woman than telling her off but you are young and learning so you get a pass for that. Just make sure it never happens again. Also make sure you never get back together with a girl in a scenario such as this where she blue balls you and then goes and gets fvcked by someother guy pretty much immediately. Well for real just drop any girl that is a cold fish right away and you won't get yourself in this situation again. Sure she was fair game due to the breakup but still its foul what she did as she was once again probably seeing this guy for a lot longer than you were aware of.

"Now her AFC ex-bf whom she says she doesnt really love (kinda feel bad on the dude) is doin wha AFC's do to get their ex back rite... and ive totally cut contact.... again. Shes always been loyal and its fair to say humans make mistakes, but is a rebound for a year qualify as a rebound?......"

Look man you gotta understand that indeed humans do make mistakes but a girl going and putting another guy's c0ck in her mouth and body is not a mistake. She wanted it to happen. A mistake is something like say you are typing on a typewriter and you hit the wrong letter and need to correct it using white out or you tie your shoe laces wrong one day because you just woke up and your mind is a little fuzzy. Things like that are mistakes. A girl sucking some guy's c0ck isn't because she knows exactly what she is doing and why she is doing it. A mistake is a fvckup. Screwing someone else is a decision.

So to conclude don't get back with her, use this experience as a learning experience and when you get with new chicks and start fvcking them always make sure to use and bring your own condoms so chicks can't poke holes in them and try to make you their baby daddy.

Also get a high degree of self respect for yourself going which means you don't scrape and grovel for damaged goods just to acquire some pvssy, rather you accept only the best and will work on yourself to the point you are such an awesome man getting quality pvssy from quality women comes easy for you.

Then you won't ever accept sub par treatment like this ever again because you will know your worth is much greater than this.

 

[MrGold]

Appreciated. Thanks lot man, my mind is made. Hmm, I may have saved myself from BS in the future.. I can only grow and learn from here on out. Thanks again.

Much love, Gold.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

Without any commentary on the girl, here is my input.

You can not get back together with her while you are still a virgin.

Why? Because phsycologically you won't be able to handle it. You will always resent her for what she did. It will eat you up and ruin you and the relationship.

If this girl is worth it (and Kontroller doesn't think so) then you MUST have kinky, dirty, meaningless sex with atleast 2 or 3 girls before you get back together. A threesome would be even better.

I'm speaking in all seriousness.

If you're not prepared to do that then you must not get back with her.

 

[Nutz]

Without any commentary on the girl, here is my input.

You can not get back together with her while you are still a virgin.

Why? Because phsycologically you won't be able to handle it. You will always resent her for what she did. It will eat you up and ruin you and the relationship.

If this girl is worth it (and Kontroller doesn't think so) then you MUST have kinky, dirty, meaningless sex with atleast 2 or 3 girls before you get back together. A threesome would be even better.

I'm speaking in all seriousness.

If you're not prepared to do that then you must not get back with her.

I've been there when I was younger and this is correct. It'll always gnaw at you from the inside knowing she got her sex from some other guy after a short time right after you broke up from the LTR. If you go back into a relationship with that on your mind you'll go crazy from it and it'll ruin things. The only way you can get back with someone in such a situation IMO is to have equivalent (or more) "experience" than she does. Call it a power-trip or whatever, but the effect it has on the ego an psyche is very real.

 

[trv26]

Isn't it funny how she managed to go 2 years without making the "mistake" while she was with you, but it took less than a year to do so with this other guy?......So I think its fair to assume it wasn't a mistake.

 

[sodbuster]

Well, You may have lost your chance telling her off. It may have been best if you'd just walked. You having sex with others is the best idea. BUT in the future,don't ask,don't tell is the best policy.

As far as THIS guy getting her virginity, women start 4 years earlier and have at least 4 guys more than they tell you about-deal with it.

 

[WC2]

KX as always nailed all the points, but..

You say you feel bad for this dude?

Are you living on fantasy island?

You were with this chick for 2 years and never had sex. However he's with her for a month or two and bangs her?

So why are you feeling bad for him? He put in less than half the foreplay and got more than twice the sex. If anything, I'd be congratulating him.

She obviously tells you this was a blatant mistake because she doesn't want to come off as a wh0re. However, it didn't come off as a mistake at the time.

She wanted to do it with him and she did. And you are still a virgin, while she's off having sex with another man.

Don't buy in to these excuses women give you. Have you ever heard a woman say "Oh yeah I had sex with him cause I wanted to!"?

NO! But you have to realize that she obviously did. Women will never truly tell a man she wanted to do it with another person, because she feels she must protect your feelings and keep you as an alternative just in case.

You did the right thing by deciding to get this girl out of your life, but you must realize that women do this all the time.

The timing of it all suggests that she wanted a sexual relationship and she got it from a man who was willing to give it.

Learn from this and become a sexual being yourself. There's no better time to lose that virginity than now.

 

[MrGold]

I understand where you guys are coming from and totally agree, I should have seen this coming. I mean, we did everything but sex, and we enjoyed it alot.. But, I guess the broad had another agenda.

So why are you feeling bad for him? He put in less than half the foreplay and got more than twice the sex. If anything, I'd be congratulating him.

I feel for the guy because she dumped him telling him she wasnt interested anymore, so i kinda feel his pain because hes so loved up and heartbroken. However, hes dealing with it alot worse, shes gettin 20 calls a day, 10 text msgs, voicemails, threats, and even callin her house in the middle of the night etc... Ahh well, hes gotta learn like us hey. Shes in a miserable state because of what i said ive been told by mutual friends, so its kinda satifying. But, i can see the fact that he slept with her gnawing at me if we ever got together again, no matter what she said to dismiss it.

Ah well. Nexted.