2nd date, she insists to pay!

[trance_addict]

Yep. This is happening next week, and she emailed me to let me know that she's paying for the date...I've never had this before!

Should I suspect anything bad because of this? I'm sure i'm just being wierd about it, but damn I've never took a chick out that insisted on paying, should be interesting.

 

[Tomatoes]

Yep. This is happening next week, and she emailed me to let me know that she's paying for the date...I've never had this before!

Should I suspect anything bad because of this? I'm sure i'm just being wierd about it, but damn I've never took a chick out that insisted on paying, should be interesting.

May be a sh!t test. Offer to pay your half at the time. Dont be too pushy...if she wants to pay then let her...

 

[KillaCam]

Yeesh, that's a cunning little bugger of a test.

As our red-rounded friend above said, still offer to pay your half, it's common manners. If she still insists, then go blow your money on beer, or something just as productive :woo:

Good luck

 

[trance_addict]

lol yea

I do remember that she offered to pay for my coffee last time we went out, cuz I bought her dinner, but I didn't let her

So I think she's trying to "pay me back", for some reason. I'm a gentleman so of course I'll try to talk her out of it, just a bit strange that she'd behave this way.

 

[Tomatoes]

lol yea

I do remember that she offered to pay for my coffee last time we went out, cuz I bought her dinner, but I didn't let her

So I think she's trying to "pay me back", for some reason. I'm a gentleman so of course I'll try to talk her out of it, just a bit strange that she'd behave this way.

Dont talk her out of it....Suggest to pay your half...if she wants to pay let her. You may think your being a "gentlemen" but your not.....A gentlemen holds the door open for a girl. Not buy her everything under the sun.

Also if you push to pay again she may see that as insulting...She may be trying to show that she isnt a spunge and that she is capable of finacially standing on her own two feet.

Like i said....Offer to pay your half but if she says no.....Accept it...simple!

As you have now said you paid for a prev dinner i dont think its a sh!t test and more of a "She just wants to pay this time" which is fair enough.



Sarge On!

 

[trance_addict]

Hmm okay, makes sense.

The reason why I stated that I'm a gentlemen, is because I asked her to go out this time (last time, she asked me out), either way, I see your reasoning. I just wanted to make sure this wasn't something covered elsewhere that I somehow missed, ya know?

Anyways, I have a feeling that she's probably doing just that, she seems pretty excited about her job, so maybe she's trying to show her independance (something that I look for in a girl, anyhow)

Thanks guys.

 

[00Kevin]

She might be doing this out of guilt for the last time you paid.

I would consider her to be a waste of my time already. Any woman that feels the need to prove to me that she can pay is insecure.

Just keep in mind that this isn't a good thing. She is already trying to compete with you and be ‘the man’. Worst of all she has planned this with you already.

I’ll put my money on this date being the last one.

 

[00Kevin]

Also if you push to pay again she may see that as insulting...She may be trying to show that she isnt a spunge and that she is capable of finacially standing on her own two feet.

Sarge On!

It is the natural instinct for women to be a spunge. it doesn't mater how old fashioned or modern they are. The modern women might try to prove otherwise but it is all a big lie in the end.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Geesh guys, just accept it for what it is, a free meal. Enjoy the date, enjoy her company and scaring yourself by reading way too much into a kind gesture just because you're not accustomed to it. Heaven forbid that she might actually be into you.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

Reasons wy she would pay:
1. She really genuinely just wants to treat you (rare for a girl)
2. She is trying to prove something.
3. She's not really interested in dating and hopes you'll pick up on the message/ doesn't want to woe you anything (this is the most common reply I get when I ask a chick about this)

Don't analyze it. I know everybody is saying don't pay or offer your half which is not bad advice. Feel free to use it.

However, anytime I'm in this situation (with friends/family/or whoever) I don't bring up who will pay and if they do I just nod and move the subjet to something else. When the bill comes I'll non-chalantly grab it and slip my credit card in. If they protest I'll just say, 'too late now' or, 'you can get it next time.'

I know alot of people on here will flame me for that, call me an AFC and tell me I'm supplicating, etc...

But I do it from a position of power. I do it becuase that is more congruent with who I am than letting somebody pay for me. I do it because I hate the thought of somebody (especially a woman) paying my way. And I do it because it send a message.

Anyway, just my 2 cents. I just had this convo with a HB the other day.

 

[trance_addict]

interesting.

See, your third suggestion doesn't quite fit with the way she's been acting around me. She dated one of my friends (not a friend of mine these days, however), and after they broke up she contacted me to go out and do something, but left no signs of LJBF or anything like that, but I'm still a bit skeptical because I dont know how she is about these sorts of things.

For instance, the last date, a bit of KINO, lots of laughing, she had her eyes on me the whole time with a constant smile (it seemed like lol). She's yet to speak of ANY drama in her life, seems pretty nervous around me (she also seems really nervous to talk to me on the phone, gets lost in her own words often)

But then again, I dont know much about her personality, so its kinda hard to judge what she's really thinking. I've had zero signs of friends-zone signals from her, so I'm pretty confident about the situation, but theres always that date, due to the situation.

So yea, I think she's just trying to be fair, from the way she's acting at least.

I'll let you guys know when I figure out her intentions...

 

[wayword]

Krist dude, let the girl pay! I LOVE it when they pay (as rare as that is)! It shows they are self-sufficient and willing to pull their own weight in the relationship.

As men, we need to keep ENCOURAGING this behavior, instead of DISCOURAGING it. The more they pay, the better, IMO. :rockon:

I do it because I hate the thought of somebody (especially a woman) paying my way. And I do it because it send a message.

Yup, the message being: "Hi, I am a PROVIDER, not a STUD. I have to pay women to "enjoy" my company - in exchange for sex later. And...I believe in gender inequality. So nice to meet you!"

 

[trance_addict]

true true, I'm defintly not complaining, its just odd, but that says alot about the female species lol

 

[Fash]

Geesh guys, just accept it for what it is, a free meal. Enjoy the date, enjoy her company and scaring yourself by reading way too much into a kind gesture just because you're not accustomed to it. Heaven forbid that she might actually be into you.

Exactly!

You paid last time, so she should bloody pay this time!!! Stop over analysing it. Maybe she feels that paying for you because you paid last time is the correct way and it is!

Man, she sounds like a great girl to out with. I think a lot of the guys here would agree that it is very rare that a woman is like that!

 

[trance_addict]

hehe

Did i mention she's totally model material? (sure as hell doesn't act like it though, which is a good thing)

 

[Jackman]

It's not much to think about as far as I'm concerned. I've been through the situation plenty of times and it leads to various places, from sex to never see them again; nothing to suggest that this always means a woman is doing something particular.

Just say thank you and let it go.

 

[timeforacatnap]

personally i'd let her pay...shes offered, you canpay her back another time.

for me this is her showing me she want to invest in me and the interaction, so i'll accept it. then suggest another meeting, dont say you'll pay but do it naturally at that second interaction.


it really doesnt matter if she pays or not or if you go halves or iof you pay, whats important is that she has shown shes willing to invest in you, that be appreciative of that. and make sure you both have a great fun time, emotional roller coaster and all that.

ww.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com

 

[Unregistered]

You guys are acting like a sewing circle.

 

[trance_addict]

Well its so nice of you to join us Unregistered, we were just about to all make a big happy quilt together, then go watch sex and the city...YAY!! :cheer:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I watch this every once in a while when a question pertaining to who pays come up. Make of it what you wish....

Who should pay for a date.