26 and finally turning my life around...

kinesis

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Well, another one joins the fray. I just wanted to make a post and hopefully garner some support from guys who have made it through what I'm going through... or what I'm about to go through.

A little background, I'm 26, and I've been completely unsuccessfull with my social life (and dating) for the last six years or so. My days consist of going to work, and spending whatever time I have left smoking pot and watching television... not exactly a recipe for healthy living. I had some success when I was younger, despite low self esteem, thanks to my supposedly good looks. Close to my 21st birthday I finally got to date a bonafied HB10, but she took me for an absolute ride. Long story short she played me and was probably the catalyst for a long steady decline in my behavior. My crushed self-esteem led to rejection after rejection, until I practically gave up on women and focused entirely on my career and the gym (Yes, despite my drug abuse and poisoned mental state, I was able to succeed surprisingly well in my professional life, I figure if I can't stop myself, who else can?). Eventually I got into excellent shape, but with the giant void in my mind, I was still unable to forge any success, I think part of me expected for things to just "happen," but I know better now. Subsequently, I stopped going to the gym, and have fallen into another rut.

Now, as I'm getting older and watching the years go by faster and faster, I know that I'll never forgive myself if I don't take the opportunity to do something positive for myself, so here I am. I am going to try and completely turn my life around. I know it won't be easy, I still clench up at the thought of approaching a woman, and I don't have a social group to go out with. The only friends I have left are pothead deadbeats whom have stopped returning my calls, probably because they sensed the unsatisfaction in me when we hung out these last few months. We've had some fun in the past, but I need to move on to something completely different now if I'm ever to live a life that I can dwell on and be satisfied with in my later years.

So here I am. My plan is to break out of my daily routine, I'm quitting the pot and filling my time. I am going to do the DJ Boot Camp. I figure I'll just head to a mall or cofee shop an hour or so away from where I live to do my exercises. I'm getting back into a workout plan and nutrition regimen. I'm going to go and take dancing lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I'll also take Mixed Martial Arts classes as soon as my lower back heals (I hurt it recently). I also plan to start a new business pretty soon, which should definitely keep my mind occupied.

I'm definitely afraid of falling into my old ways. I know it'll be hard my first Friday night that I have nothing to do and noone to call up. Maybe I should consider going out alone? A big part of my success I think will be finding new guy friends to hang out with. Part of me also fears that I may have waited too long to make this change. Any encouragement or advice you guys could impart would mean the world to me. Do with me what you will, I will not turn down any good advice. I'm willing to try all sorts of new things, because frankly what I've been doing hasn't been working for me. I plan on updating you guys with my progress, provided there is some.

Anyway, I guess I'll just say "Nice to meet you all!" :cool: Do you guys think my plan is sound?
 

Trag

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Originally posted by kinesis
Now, as I'm getting older and watching the years go by faster and faster, I know that I'll never forgive myself if I don't take the opportunity to do something positive for myself, so here I am. I am going to try and completely turn my life around. I know it won't be easy, I still clench up at the thought of approaching a woman, and I don't have a social group to go out with. The only friends I have left are pothead deadbeats whom have stopped returning my calls, probably because they sensed the unsatisfaction in me when we hung out these last few months. We've had some fun in the past, but I need to move on to something completely different now if I'm ever to live a life that I can dwell on and be satisfied with in my later years.
I'm in sort of the same boat.

I'm 25, just moved to a small town and don't know anyone here. Also, I am the AFC I've never wanted to be. I used to be good with women, but have recently fallen into a severe case of unconfidence, which has subsequently lead me here(so my life isn't over yet).

I too am going to start the boot camp and it's good to know that someone is starting around the same time as me. So kinesis, a good support network is always good and we should PM eachother as we go along.

I too would like to say Hello to everyone on the board and I am looking forward to all of your deprogramming-reprogramming advice.

Thanks,
Trag
 

kinesis

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What's up Trag! I'll definitely keep you in mind when I actually start going into the field. I'm pretty scared right now, and not completely sure if what I'm trying to do is possible, but I figure what the hell, I'll always have the opportunity to do what I'm doing now, but I won't have the opportunity to do what I truly wish to do for much longer.

Here's to making it happen!
 

kandyass

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I'm in!

Hey guys,
interesting to read your stories. I've just come out of an LTR a few weeks ago and have decided to tackle my AFC issues with the Boot Camp. I bailed on the first attempt and haven't had time since but this week I start. So, would be cool to swap stories, advice, whatever, if you guys are up for it..?
 

legolas

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It's never too late to turn your life around. You're only 26!! There are people out thre in their 40's who still don't know what to do with their life, so keep it up. As long as you adopt the mindset of learning rather than the pressure of succeeding, you'll be all set. I started this change 3-4 years ago but wasn't very consistent with it. What has helped me the most has been the support of my best friend who is in a similar boat as me. We help each other out, and at least I have a person to hang out with when I want to have some dinner or watch a movie.
 

CoolRunning

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Hey man! I'm in the same boat as you. Your plan sounds good to me. I've had trouble doing exercises at the mall, since everyone seems so intent on shopping. Would be interested to hear how you fare, it might give me tips on what I'm doing wrong.
 

dr_devious

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Its never too late to change, most of the plans you have seem sound to me, i wish you luck. My advice would be to try and make a few friends, male or female to try and give you some support and to build your social skills up.
Im not sure about all this "boot camp stuff in the mall". Is this an American thing? Women in the UK would just give you the brush off if you were doing that stuff whilst shopping over here. Its more the done thing to try and pull in bars and clubs here
 

kinesis

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What's up everybody! Thanks alot for the encouragement, it just helps to hear others giving you positive reinforcement.

Kandyass, I'm gonna post an update every time I go out. I did alot of the eye contact stuff at my gym on Friday after work. I'm only trying with girls, I held contact with 4 HB5-7s for like a second before they just looked away. Wasn't much of a stretch for me, I felt kinda weird just staring at them but I went with it. There was this other HB7.5ish chick on the stairmaster who just held my stare for like 5 or 6 seconds with a blank expression on her face. I looked away first, I just felt awkward staring at her for so long... maybe I should have smiled? Regardless, I'm going to a mall tomorrow to step it up.

Should I post these updates in the bootcamp threads in the main forum? It seems like I'm a couple weeks behind them.

Legolas and Dr_Devious, thanks for the encouragement. A big part of me is afraid that I've waited too long and that I'll never fully achieve the success I desire now. It really makes me feel optimistic to hear someone else believe in what I'm trying to do.

Cool_Running, just keep an eye for my posts, I'll be updating all my progress here. Shoot me a PM or something if you want to talk about anything.

Dr_Devious, as far as the whole American mall thing... I think that's exactly what it is. I've lived all around the world, and the thing about the States is that there really aren't any chill places to hang out at, I think that's a big part of Starbucks' success. People here use shopping malls almost as a sort of social gathering spot. Think Dam Square in Amsterdam or a town square in Greece or something. Alot of people don't even shop when they go, just walk around and see the sights, people, etc. Of course, some cities are different than others.

Anyway, I'm gonna start going out with my sister and some of her friends for now until I can make some new friends to go clubbing with. One of these days, maybe when I get a little better, I hope I can meet up with a Master DJ so I can just actually see it get done. :eek:

Game on, brothers!
 

El MonoLoco

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Welcome to the club kinesis....

So far you've taken the right steps to achieving personal greatness. As far as what to do and when to do it I can't help ya there but as long as your willing to get on the court, sweat a little, get banged up, or whatever. Then you're right..


GAME ON!!!
:rockon:
 

kinesis

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Well, week one officially begins for me today. The only chances I've had to do the Eye contact stuff were at my gym, and the mall during my lunch break. Nothing really notable to report... I got down probably 15 or so all together. I even threw in a few hellos ahead of schedule, but I'm not counting them... I just figure a little extra practice never hurt anyone.

The game is on!! :woo:
 

STR8UP

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Originally posted by kinesis
I've lived all around the world, and the thing about the States is that there really aren't any chill places to hang out at, I think that's a big part of Starbucks' success. People here use shopping malls almost as a sort of social gathering spot. Think Dam Square in Amsterdam or a town square in Greece or something.
Haha....I stumbled into Dam Square right after hitting the coffee shop while trying to find my way back to the hotel in Amsterdam. I remembered being there a dozen times before on my way back to the hotel the previous few days, but I was freakin DUMBFOUNDED about which direction to go to get back to the room. I guess the Jamaican stuff probably isn't a good idea for a first time smoker.....

I do know what you are saying though. In Europe people are always hanging out at the cafes and such....it's nice. Does anone over there even own a t.v.?
 

kinesis

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Originally posted by STR8UP
Haha....I stumbled into Dam Square right after hitting the coffee shop while trying to find my way back to the hotel in Amsterdam. I remembered being there a dozen times before on my way back to the hotel the previous few days, but I was freakin DUMBFOUNDED about which direction to go to get back to the room. I guess the Jamaican stuff probably isn't a good idea for a first time smoker.....

I do know what you are saying though. In Europe people are always hanging out at the cafes and such....it's nice. Does anone over there even own a t.v.?
:crackup: I had a similar experience my first time in Amsterdam... we smoked some really strong White Widow and ended up getting lost in the red light district with backpacks stuffed with thousands of dollars worth of cash and electronics strapped to our asses. Of course we were sporting the baseball caps and sunglasses to round off the lost American tourist look. I think we had a group of 5 crackheads tailing us at one point... not the best thing for our paranoia.

As for the whole TV thing... yeah they have 'em, just without the 500 channels :rolleyes:

As far as my bootcamp progress goes, I haven't been keeping track too well, I've probably finished my 50 Eye Contacts by now. I think I'm going to start a journal...
 

kandyass

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Front an' Center! Boot Camp Day 1.

Yesterday was my first day at DJ Boot Camp.

I've been meaning to do the BC for the last few weeks but have been making various excuses to myself until yesterday morning when I woke up and thought, "Fvck it!" and decided to start that day.

:eek:

And...as I strode down the driveway full of determination and purpose a passing granny blindsided me with a big cheesey "Good morning"!

:p

One down...49 to go...

Then later that day I was in a loose crowd in front of the cafeteria at work. I asked this young woman (HB5) if she was in the que( an honest question, I'd almost forgotten about the BC) and she replies Yes. Then she turns to me and strikes up a conversation. I was in my usual zombie asocial mode so I was dumbfounded by her three attempts to engage me in conversation. I was scrambling to engage her and after a couple of lines just let it drift off.

The other two were just random Hi's in the street.

That's four so far.

:woo:
 

kinesis

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Keep it rolling kandyass!

I started reading through my DJ Manual to reread week one and get ready for my week two, but then I realized that I ****ed up Week 1 already! :mad: I did all the eye contact, but I wasn't striking up conversations... I thought that was week 2!

I guess I better cram!
 

kandyass

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BC stalled.

Hey Kinesis,
my BC came to grinding halt last week as I got sick. Was pissed off as I was looking forward to the weekend, going out and maybe jumping ahead of myself and doing some cold approaches (always helps with some booze in ya).

Instead have spent it sick at home.

:down:

But back in the saddle tomorrow!

:)
 
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