yodaisgod1
New Member
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2017
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- Age
- 34
I'm 25. Terrified of woman.
Question is "what do I do?"
Here's my life story.
Growing Up
What do I do? How do I build a social circle? What do I do with them? Do I need a certain kind of therapist? Thanks!
Question is "what do I do?"
Here's my life story.
Growing Up
- When friends started dating girls, I saw it as betrayal to the bro-code of "we don't like girls"
- I was unpopular (sat alone in the cafeteria)
- I skipped prom. few friends to go with. wasn't about to ask a girl.
- PE teachers warned about STD's/pregnancy. I believed people only had sex in marriage. I still have trouble believing sex is a thing, even for people in relationships. After all, no one talks about it.
- I had authoritative parents. Weird as this sounds, I think it affected me. I did what they said. They never said I should convey interest to girls. So I never did. It's a mental block I can't overcome to this day.
- I discovered PUA. started consuming the videos/book almost 24/7 (listened as i did homework, ran etc.)
- I discovered what sex was. That's right. In late college. Before that, I knew only that it involved nudity and kissing.
- At this age, I still assumed sex was painful and unwanted by girls.
- I thought women would appreciate the gravity of the sentiment (someone likes me!) and the bravery required to convey it. It knocked me off my feet that I was wrong.
- I was terrified of bothering girls (stuff like Woman Walking Around NYC convinced me it's wrong)
- I never got comfortable approaching. These past few years, I've chickened out almost every time. Everyday, I beat myself up hard for this. Sometimes, I'll do a few approaches with a wing if I'm at a mixer. If she responds well though, I quickly eject, sure that I'll somehow fail to achieve her standards.
- my first date. a coffee date on tinder. terrified me
- Same year, I did 16 more tinder dates. coffee or bar. i never showed interest, After all, the Woman Walking Around NYC for 10 hours founds interest creepy.
- A few girls invited me to their apartments but i said np, sure that i'd disappoint
- Another reason I've avoided sex is fear of false allegations. One girl I dated kept telling me unprompted how much she thinks about rape culture. She invited me to her apartment. I said no.
- I went to sex ed events including live demos
- first time masturbating. had to read instructions online because i didn't know what to do
- I did a few play parties (PG13). first kiss etc.
- did some therapy
- discovered Red Pill (CH, Rollio). wow
- I live in a city. I have 10 friends. I don't know what to do with them. It's saturday night, should we be at a bar drinking wine?!?
- A girl I used to crush on back when she dated alphas is now 25. A couple months ago, she kept asking me to take her out. She even sent me websites for bars and comedy clubs. But I don't because I'd let her down somehow!
- Stuff like CH has gotten me hating my own flaws
- I don't want intercourse (I fear pregnancy/STD's) so much as I want to overcome my fear
What do I do? How do I build a social circle? What do I do with them? Do I need a certain kind of therapist? Thanks!
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