25 Key Rules For DJs

[Giovanni Casanova]

The following list has been compiled as the result of insights on these forums as well as my own personal experiences. Now, in life there are sometimes exceptions to rules, but in general these rules should be followed by DJs. Also, some of these aren't "rules" per se, but more like observations or insights. Enjoy.


RULE 1: Chicks communicate in two modes: the way things are and the way they WISH things were. Whenever in doubt, assume it's the latter choice.

RULE 2: Chicks desire attention the same way that guys desire sex. Give attention sparingly. This is your currency.

RULE 3: Do not become so invested in any one girl that you cannot simply walk away.

RULE 4: Confidence attracts women even more than good looks. This is why you see fat, ugly, or dumpy guys with hot chicks.

RULE 5: Desperation repels chicks. You will attract more women when you don't care if you're attracting women.

RULE 6: After getting a girl's phone number, wait at least two days to call her to avoid appearing desperate.

RULE 7: Use the phone only to set up dates. Not to talk about weather, current events, how her day went, etc. Save that conversation for the date.

RULE 8: If you call a girl and get an answering machine, don't leave a message. Just try again another time. Girls, as a general rule, do not return phone calls.

RULE 9: First dates should be short and creative. NO "dinner and a movie". Things involving some activity are best: pool, bowling, roller blading, mini-golf, dancing, etc. Keep it FUN.

RULE 10: Do not give gifts early in the relationship. Doing so makes it appear as though you are attempting to purchase affection.

RULE 11: Girls will test guys to see how much they can skate by with. Do not be tempted to give in. Speak your opinions, stand by your convictions, and don't put up with excessive amounts of bullsh*t.

RULE 12: A person can only take advantage of you as much as you let them.

RULE 13: There is no such thing as a "soulmate" or "the one". It doesn't exist. There are millions of girls out there, though, and many of them have the traits you are looking for in a girl.

RULE 14: Don't put any girl up on a pedestal. You risk not being able to reach her. Women are people too... or so I'm told.

RULE 15: If a girl disrespects you or your time, particularly early in the relationship, don't hesitate to get rid of her. NEXT!

RULE 16: No relationship is a committed one until both people agree that it is. Until then, anything is fair game for both parties involved.

RULE 17: Never be the one that says, "I love you" first.

RULE 18: The challenge is part of the fun. Don't short-change the girl. Let her pursue you. The harder something is to obtain, the more valuable it is perceived to be.

RULE 19: If a girl cheats on you, she is gone. No exceptions.

RULE 20: Never date a girl who has more problems than you do.

RULE 21: Do not date girls from work. Work is stressful enough.

RULE 22: Dating is a "numbers game". Accept the fact that you're going to get rejected more times than not. Suck it up and get back out there.

RULE 23: Getting advice about women from a woman is like asking Osama bin Laden to tell you the locations of all his terrorist camps.

RULE 24: Where women are concerned, pay more attention to what they do than what they say.

RULE 25: Realize that women are tricky, lying, manipulative, devious, scheming, sneaky, cunning, calculating, shrewd, and Machiavellian creatures. Love them anyway.

RULE 26: Bros before hoes. Any girl that can be stolen from your best friend isn't worth stealing from your best friend.

RULE 27: Stay away from your ex. Chances are that you won't be able to get back with them (the pool has been pissed in). Chances are also good that if you DO succeed in getting back with your ex, you'll wish that you hadn't.

RULE 28: Don't reveal too much about yourself too soon. Remain a mystery.

RULE 29: Girls are not the only thing in life. Have other things in your life that excite you.

RULE 30: If you aren't sure about when to bend or break a rule, go with your instinct. If it's wrong, that's a good lesson for next time... and there's always a next time.

 

[The Big Bad Wolf]

Great summary, Gio.

This should be at the top of the bible. and the up 'n comin' DJ's should read through it 2-3 times per day, until they fully remember every last detail.

The Big Bad Wolf

 

[anakin]

Brilliant summary Giovanni. I agree with what's written. Definitely Bible worthy material in my opinion. A good tool for new DJs, and experienced ones!

ANAKIN

 

[daredevil]

Nice post Gio!
but this should be the first rule

RULE 25: Realize that women are tricky, lying, manipulative, devious, scheming, sneaky, cunning, calculating, shrewd, and Machiavellian creatures. Love them anyway.

 

[SomeGuy]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova:
RULE 1: Chicks communicate in two modes: the way things are and the way they WISH things were. Whenever in doubt, assume it's the latter choice.

Great work GC...but that first rule is something I never could understand. Got an example?

 

[david_med@hotmail.com]

GC,
your rules are great, BUT they sound very similar to what doc love says. also, these rules are good for the up and coming DJ. I think as you get older its better to incorporate gut instinct into each individual situation.

for example, i think waiting atleast 2 days is kinda early. i think guys should wait atleast 4-5, even longer if they can. whats the rush? but like i said, its all on the individual situation. i met a girl at a party years ago, and we exchanged numbers. we both started talking that nite, and she would have come over to my place that nite had her friends not kockblocked her.

also, as far as using the phone for only dates. yeah, in theory thats correct. but you cant eat uncooked meat bro, unless its sushi. u know what i mean? i think one thing all these rules leaves out is the trust aspect. a girl can dig you for miles and think youre the greatest, but if you come off like an arrogant guy stuck on some format way of living your life, shes gonna have her radar warning her something is up, and shes not gonna trust u....its just a natural process. and if she dont trust you, she aint going out with you.

i personally think guys should invest a little bit of time chatting with the girl and vibing with her and establishing a connection. of course, if youre shytting bricks and are at a loss for good convo, then its better off that you just set the date. but phone play can work wonders.

case and point for me was just 3 weeks ago.
i met a girl at a bar and we hooked up. i called her a week later. i spent an hour vibing with this girl on the phone. at the end of the conversation she told me i was not what she expected, that i was really cool. she expected my offer to hang out the next nite and i tapped the muff. so if you ask me, had i gotten straight to the point with this girl and just asked her out, i would have bet she would have had her guard up.

also, the answering machine thing is straight outtta doc love. bro, i can tell you from experience that rule is WACK. why? cuz girls have caller ID bro. it doesnt matter if you leave a message or not, if your ass is calling 20 times a day but not leaving a message cuz shes not picking up, your gonna look like a muff. i say, just leave a message and call her in a week or two if she doesnt get back to you. any girl that truly digs you though will get back to you asap. LEAVE SHORT AND BRIEF SIMPLE MESSAGES AND TALK SLOW.

also i dont want to go on and on about each of these rules. but let me give you a general statement which i have found from my experience to be very true. girls can tell the difference between a softy guy who will do anything for the girl, a guy who is a gentleman who is sincere yet is still a man, or a guy who is hard for some rules and is playing games. i say be the MAN with self respect who is sincere at times....bottom line is whatever you do, you gotta come off as genuine. REMEMBER THAT. its all about good acting skills in my opinion. Especially when youre trying to get your foot in the door and your penis in the hole, she has to be able to see that youre legit. dont be so hard up on rules, you can pass up good opportunities on getting laid in my opinion. ive passed up on a couple good ones, to have only my friend who i gave an inside scoop to, to handle the girl. although his AFCness ultimately killed whatever he had in the beginning.

 

[Kenturkey]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova:
RULE 25: Realize that women are tricky, lying, manipulative, devious, scheming, sneaky, cunning, calculating, shrewd, and Machiavellian creatures. Love them anyway.
[/B]

This epitomizes relationships with women. They can be so difficult to deal with, but you aren't gonna get pvssy anywhere else. ;-)



------------------
"A planet of playthings, we dance on the strings of powers we cannot perceive." - Rush (Freewill)

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by SomeGuy:
Great work GC...but that first rule is something I never could understand. Got an example?

Sure, SG. I've got tons of examples. Here's one -- the whole Nice Guy vs. Jerk debate. Girls will say that they want a guy who is sweet and nice and caring and compassionate and sensitive and gives them foot massages, et cetera ad infinitum. Now, any guy who has really tried that approach will be able to tell you that it generally does not work very well. But almost all girls say they want that. What gives? Well, girls REALLY, REALLY WISH that they wanted the nice, sweet, caring, sensitive guy. They honestly do. But the truth is... they don't really want that. When a girl is communicating to you, especially when it's regarding what it is that she wants in a guy, she will often communicate in a mode where she'll tell you all the things she WISHES she wants, not what she ACTUALLY wants. My apologies to whoever it was who made that point in a recent Jerk v. Nice Guy debate; it's brilliant.

Originally posted by david_med:
your rules are great, BUT they sound very similar to what doc love says.

I don't usually read Doc Love, but just think about it this way. If I was going to tell you the rules for playing hockey, and then you went to another hockey player/fan and asked THEM for rules about playing hockey, they're going to sound very similar, aren't they?

for example, i think waiting atleast 2 days is kinda early.

Um, the whole AT LEAST thing should have given this away. Saying "at least two days" includes people who wait three days and people who wait ten days. The point is not to call right away.

i personally think guys should invest a little bit of time chatting with the girl and vibing with her and establishing a connection. of course, if youre shytting bricks and are at a loss for good convo, then its better off that you just set the date. but phone play can work wonders.

If you want to have a conversation with her, you're much better off doing it on an actual date rather than on the phone. I've made the mistake of chatting with a girl about irrelevant things on the phone and the results are usually not so hot.

i met a girl at a bar and we hooked up. i called her a week later. i spent an hour vibing with this girl on the phone. at the end of the conversation she told me i was not what she expected, that i was really cool. she expected my offer to hang out the next nite and i tapped the muff. so if you ask me, had i gotten straight to the point with this girl and just asked her out, i would have bet she would have had her guard up.

I would have taken you up on that bet and told you that she would have gone for it whether you had talked for an hour or not.

also, the answering machine thing is straight outtta doc love. bro, i can tell you from experience that rule is WACK. why? cuz girls have caller ID bro. it doesnt matter if you leave a message or not, if your ass is calling 20 times a day but not leaving a message cuz shes not picking up, your gonna look like a muff. i say, just leave a message and call her in a week or two if she doesnt get back to you. any girl that truly digs you though will get back to you asap. LEAVE SHORT AND BRIEF SIMPLE MESSAGES AND TALK SLOW.

I didn't say "Don't leave a message and call her 20 times a day." I said DON'T LEAVE A MESSAGE. You call the girl, you don't get an answer. Try back again some other time. Not twenty times a day. What kind of idiot...? Once you leave the message, you put the ball in her court, and she may or may not feel like swatting it back to you. Like I said, girls don't usually return phone calls.

also i dont want to go on and on about each of these rules. but let me give you a general statement which i have found from my experience to be very true. girls can tell the difference between a softy guy who will do anything for the girl, a guy who is a gentleman who is sincere yet is still a man, or a guy who is hard for some rules and is playing games. i say be the MAN with self respect who is sincere at times....bottom line is whatever you do, you gotta come off as genuine. REMEMBER THAT. its all about good acting skills in my opinion.

Let me give you an inside hint, david. These rules came from the real world. They come from experience, they come from the experience of a lot of guys who were groping their way blindly through the insane dating world. They WORK. Am I saying that every single rule must be followed every single time? No. I'm also not saying that these rules are the ONLY way to give you success with women.

Also, and this is sort of an irritation that has presented itself a million times: people who come on this site and think that a guy who follows the advice and the ideas on this site is "fake" and "just playing games". OF COURSE we're playing games when we're dating -- that's just the unfortunate way of the world. Girls are almost ALWAYS playing games... and you can either play also or get played. Welcome to reality. That doesn't mean that a DJ is a fake, fraud, or phony simply because he has a set of ground rules laid out.

For example, Rule 19: If a girl cheats on you, she's gone. No exceptions. There should be no problem there. Rule 22: Accept the fact that you're going to get rejected and don't let it get you down. Rule 14: Don't put a girl up on a pedestal. I mean, these are things you just shouldn't do. You don't have to be fake to be a man. As for the gift giving, the calling and chatting, the answering machine messages, the 2 day minimum callback time, et cetera, you can either follow the rules or not. If you do, you've got the greatest likelihood of success. If you don't, well, then don't come crying when sh*t goes wrong.

 

[RKTek]

A few more of my own:

-Only be with women who make you feel good about yourself.

-Let others make sense of crazy behavior. If she confuses you in the least, NEXT.

-You have permission to say "NO", to change your mind or to express what you want out of life. In fact, a girl should hear NO from you at least once a month, since you are the man it's up to you to make policy.

-Trust your gut, because your mind loves to rationalize and turn you into an AFC. If something doesn't feel right, beware.

-What is 'right' for you is also 'right' for everyone else.

-Give to your cpacity, then stop.

-What others think of you is irrelevant.

-Wherever you are in life is the best place to be.

-Sing your own praises all the days of your life.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Thanx GC!! I must put rule 20 into effect... yes, the 4 letter word - NEXT!

 

[david_med@hotmail.com]

Giovanni Casanova,
your points are all well taken. my criticism was in no way an attack on you. in fact, i respect you more than 99% of my male friends. they are all major AFC's. So keep on keepin on.

My point in putting up that post was not to knock your rules. Your rules are valid, and they do work. BUT let me tell you where i was coming from....

When i first came across those rules a couple years ago, i followed them to the dot. I mean, if a girl didnt return a call, she was out. If I asked a girl out and she said she was busy and didnt make a counteroffer to hang out, she was out. It got to the point where i was following the rules to the point that I was nexting everyone. Maybe I was an idiot, but I came to the realization that some things you ultimately have to judge for yourself. Your gut will give you certain signals and its up to you to tune into it or not. When i started tuning into my gut AND using the rules as a guideline, i found myself being a lot more successful.

I agree with you completely as far as not wasting time on the phone when you can be doing it on the date. but i was addressing the issue of trust. if she doesnt trust you then its not gonna happen. ive had that problem myself. its not hard to come off as an arrogant or overly confident guy who wants to play girls if your following these rules by the dot. especially if youre in a big city like LA, and especially if you have a pretty face to go along with it. thats my experience.

As far as caller ID is concerned, leaving a message gives me a personal sense of putting the ball in her court. whats wrong with that? who cares if you get rejected? if youre playing more than one girl at a time, it should not be a big deal. NEXT! mark my words, you are in no way creating mystery if she sees your number pop up and you dont leave a message.

Most people have caller ID nowadays....so whether you leave a message or not, it makes no difference. shes gonna know you called. i say just do it and who gives a shyt. i havent met a girl yet that has been worth giving a shyt about so maybe ill change or something. but i doubt it


"Let me give you an inside hint, david. These rules came from the real world. They come from experience, they come from the experience of a lot of guys who were groping their way blindly through the insane dating world. They WORK. Am I saying that every single rule must be followed every single time? No. I'm also not saying that these rules are the ONLY way to give you success with women."

haha, relax bro. we all had a little afc in us at one point. some of these rules have to be 2nd nature of course...no gifts, compliments, dont be a bytch all those things. come on bro shouldnt we all know that by now? but they are a foundation to build upon. ill explain in the next paragraph....

"Also, and this is sort of an irritation that has presented itself a million times: people who come on this site and think that a guy who follows the advice and the ideas on this site is "fake" and "just playing games". OF COURSE we're playing games when we're dating -- that's just the unfortunate way of the world. Girls are almost ALWAYS playing games... and you can either play also or get played. Welcome to reality. That doesn't mean that a DJ is a fake, fraud, or phony simply because he has a set of ground rules laid out."

first of all, ive had my share of experiences. real life experiences that have shaped how I think. women are all players. no doubt. you play or be played, like you say. but im sure you know, women have a stronger intuitive sense than men. there is nothing wrong with playing games, per se, but my point is to not be sooo loyal to them that you genuinely come off like a bad actor. i mean, unless you are naturally an AFC, then stick to them. but im not knocking the game... im saying if you add a little bit of a genuine vibe to your game, you will be more successful. thats how i see it. I think a budding DJ can become real uptight if he follows these rules to the bone. thats how i was, so this is just my view. love it or hate it.


so i think were both pretty much saying the same thing, except maybe i came off like a **** in my post. LOLOL, my apologies. anyhow, in all due respect i give you props. my whole thing is to kinda BE IN TUNE WITH YOUR GUT and play things as you see them sometime. if i can sum it up in a sentence that would be it. and i would personally recommend any guy to change their approach if they find themselves nexting EVERY girl. something is wrong. thats my story. peace and im out,
-d

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

David, I see where you're coming from. Most of the rules that I listed were general, as in not rigid or concrete. The ones that were a bit more specific ("Wait at least two days to call", etc.) are still flexible if used with caution. You say to trust your instinct. I agree... as long as you've been playing the game long enough for your instinct to know what the hell it's talking about.

For people who are just starting to get out there, their instincts are sometimes totally off-base.

So, I guess in summary, David, we agree in philosophy. Not a bad place to be at.

 

[david_med@hotmail.com]

Giovanni Casanova,
play on playa. practice will only make the both of us better. peace
-david

 

[Track_Star]

You guys just reminded me of a very important rule of mine which should be added to your list

26. Once she's giving you the feeling that her interest level may be fading, chances are more than likely that it has faded or is gone.

You can just feel this one in your gut, and it you're wondering if she's still interested you needn't wonder, she doesn't.

 

[david_med@hotmail.com]

that is a deep one. i would interpret it like this.... "once she begins showing signs of low interest, shes pretty much done with." i like to believe that if youre truly in tune with your radar that you can not only prevent a breakup by being a little more of a challenge, but ideally pick up on the early warning signals.

 

[The Matrix]

As always Gio... good post with some great rules that should be followed... or least kept in mind. I'll make sure to post these up somewhere. Good job

 

[Page]

GC-- wait a minute, didn't you just rip these off from what I taught you?

Seriously though, these ARE good things t oremember. I wonder if there's anything new to learn, or if we've discovered everything already.

 

[Bonhomme]

Good set of rules, Gio.

Of course circumstances alter cases, but in general one would do well to follow those rules, and most of RK Tec's ones (I'm not down with "Wherever you are in life is the best place to be," which is anti-self-improvement).

---------

Regarding caller ID, it can be blocked by entering *67 (in the USA -- don't know the code in other nations). But making *too many* calls that come up as "private calls" on the caller ID might be just as transparent, and make you look weak on top of it. Use that sparingly. Of course, some peole's calls are automatically caller ID blocked unless they *enable* it for the call.

 

[Flyguy3663]

Really good post. These are things that have been covered but it's easier when someone can break them down and give examples of each. Definitely an awesome post.



[This message has been edited by Flyguy3663 (edited 06-06-2002).]

 

[wheelin&dealin]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova:

RULE 20: Never date a girl who has more problems than you do.

I've messed up on this one a few times.