24 never had gf or date ever

joe45

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i have a problem . i am a 24 yr old college student , yea i talk to gals and all -make small talk but i never been on a date, had a gf, or even a gal that was a freind lol. yea i have female aquintances, they come and go all the time but at the same time i have a lot of guy aquintances and no freinds or either sexes. i am a loner. always has been since elem school. i am not gay. ppl from other forums tell me to jsut ask her out... well i did and they said NO. i am not ugly either. 5 7 140lbs asian male. why am i havin so much trouble finding freinds or even a date or gf. ppl from other forums tell me not to be so desperate and clingy and i tried taht but if u don;t go to them they won't go towards u. some ppl will but most ppl i find are just as shy as me
 

tactic

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get hook ups, become assertive, be fun, have confidence, find wingmen.
 

Julian

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READ THE DJ BIBLE
 

alphawolfx

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wow... you need a lot of work

read David DeAngleo's e-book "Double Your Dating" www.doubleyourdating.com for a basic primer, work on yourself with that a little bit

then take a workshop with www.badboycoaching.com OR www.badboylifestyle.com

DJ Bible is FULL of great advice, but sometimes some not so great advice... the only problem is that it's so FULL - to read that and try to implement it all gives you an excuse to only read, instead of doing something more proactive about your situation

oh, and WHEN you get your new GF... don't get married to her, and don't think that every girl is just like her

she'll be special for you, and you'll lose your virginity, but don't stick with the first thing that comes your way... unless, of course, it's the BEST relationship in the world, and you're ALWAYS happy (for more than the first 6 months)
 

joe45

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where is the DJ bible


Originally posted by alphawolfx
wow... you need a lot of work

read David DeAngleo's e-book "Double Your Dating" www.doubleyourdating.com for a basic primer, work on yourself with that a little bit

then take a workshop with www.badboycoaching.com OR www.badboylifestyle.com

DJ Bible is FULL of great advice, but sometimes some not so great advice... the only problem is that it's so FULL - to read that and try to implement it all gives you an excuse to only read, instead of doing something more proactive about your situation

oh, and WHEN you get your new GF... don't get married to her, and don't think that every girl is just like her

she'll be special for you, and you'll lose your virginity, but don't stick with the first thing that comes your way... unless, of course, it's the BEST relationship in the world, and you're ALWAYS happy (for more than the first 6 months)
 

alphawolfx

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top right hand corner of this forum, it say s"New Here?"
 

Guerrero

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This isn't as uncommon as you think man. Interesting enough, there's alot of us college guys like this; so don't feel too bad. It's really sad, the fact about rejection seems to be too much for some guys to handle. Thing is, you always got a 50/50 chance; it's always a gamble. And of course there's ways to raise those odds as much as 80% ; DJ Bible can help you out with some of that. What you really want to attain man is experience; experience is the key to being able to communicate better with women. So start off with your female friends, talk to them more often and about more personal subjects that you normally wouldn't talk to them about. Tell them what you're trying to accomplish, and if they're really your friends they will understand and help you out as much as they can. If you feel you're not as close to your female friends as you like to think, start making female friends on the spot; in class. Go up to or near someone you find appealing and make some small talk (about the class, an assignment, some event coming up, etc ....) and then introduce yourself ( My name's ____ btw, and what's your name?). After you've talked for awhile, bust out with the I really don't know many people in this class, Can get your number just in case I miss a class session, so I can call you up and find out what went on in class? Most of the time you're likely to get their number without question. So after that, don't call right away, call about two class sessions later. You start off by calling and acting like it's regarding class, after that little by little you sneak in personal talk (find out info about her), if you can tell she enjoys your company after a phone call or two, you can bust out with "Do you have any plans this weekend?". General rule: No more than 2 calls a week and they must be 2 to 3 days seperate from each other; you don't want to seem like you're desperate loser (women interpet this as being almost like a STALKER). Hopefully this will get you going man, if you need anymore help, feel free to PM me. ;)
 

Guerrero

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Counseling doesn't do jack. Waste of money; try talking to your friends instead. You'd be surprised what being more sociable can do for you. After all, humans aren't meant to be a lonely race ;)
 

Enzo

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Ditto! I am in the exact same situation.

I am really working on making things easier for myself by firstly studying where there are more attractive women. I study a science subject but I have started reading in the law library. When I see someone attractive I usually sit at thier desk and try to go from there.

I am sure that 50% of the problem is just nerves and being in a situation that is conducive to getting to know someone.
 

tom121

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okay. since we both are in vancouver and asian, let me tell you I know

- most western women don't have a thing for Asian men, unless you are super-model good looking or very built, in your case, you are skinny

- you should try to make more Asian lady friends, or just get group of Asian guy and girl friends. For some reason, Asian women tend to go out with a guy they've known for a while, or had been friends for a while.

- Don't approach WHITE-WASHED Asian women, they only like, super good looking, built, rich [INSERT SKIN COLOR OTHER THAN YELLOW] guys
 

Enigma412

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I feel your pain. I am 21 and in the same boat. Here is a I posted about similar problemshttp://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=68629 .

yea i have female aquintances, they come and go all the time but at the same time i have a lot of guy aquintances and no freinds or either sexes.
I am in the same situation. I was a loner and fundamentally anti-social for my first two years in college but I have become increasingly friendly and sociable since I began my junior year, especially since November. I have a large circle of acquantinces but no real friends, as in the kind that you would hang out with over the weekend.

My parents are Muslim immigrants (I am an agnostic who hates Islam for causing 99.9999% of my problems) who didn't allow me to date and that is the core reason for me being an AFC. While everyone else was learning the ropes, so to speak, with women in middle school and high school I was forced to be on the sidelines, even though I had plenty of opportunties in my senior year. Thanks to the curse of being born to Muslim parents, I was unable to make anything of countless opportunities with HB's in my senior year. As I mentioned earlier, I basically threw away my first to years in college--my first years of freedom. Of course, I didn't have a car until my junior year and that is what truly gave me the feeling of freedom and I have tried to change to an extent but, like you, have failed thus far.

most western women don't have a thing for Asian men, unless you are super-model good looking or very built, in your case, you are skinny
First, we Asians must never forget that white does not equal "Western", "American", or "Canadian." However, I understand your point and if that is the case we are screwed since the US is 96% non-Asian (and the largest Asian group is a mere 1% of the population) and Canada is almost 90% non-Asian (the largest Asian group in Canada is just 3% of the population).

You may be right, though. Even subpar whites have decent social success but we are viewed as aliens from outer space by many people, which automatically kills our chances with them--even if we are clearly not immigrants and have no accent and no ties to any foreign country or foreign culture! One of my suitmates is white and he literally plays video games all day but he has several friends and he, unlike me, was able to become friends with his female dorm neighbors across the hall and I have made an honest effort to befriend many women in my dorm and am 0-for-7 or something. Sometimes I curse the day my parents immigrated.
 

true|hockey

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Originally posted by tactic
get hook ups, become assertive, be fun, have confidence, find wingmen.
Forget the bible, this post sums it up best. ESPECIALLY the wingmen part. Girls who tavel in groups have jaelous friends who will try and prevent hookups if your not careful!
 

McKindley

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I will bet money the ONLY reason you've never been on a date is because you've either seldom, or NEVER asked a girl for one.

Which is good and bad. It sucks that you haven't asked many, but the good news is that most single girls are much more receptive to the idea of dating you than you believe.

Next time you meet a single girl that you click with, ask for her number. If you clicked, chances are she'll give it to you.

A couple of days later call her up and ask if you can take her out on a date. You don't HAVE to use the word date if it makes you uncomfortable, but many girls like the forwardness of it.

Take her out, have a good time, and if things go well, try to kiss her at the end of the night. Don't ASK to kiss her, just go in for it at the end of the night.

Regardless of what happens, you'll learn a lot. Just don't get too discouraged if the first few girls don't work out. You'll gradually learn what works for you, you won't be as nervous, and after a little while dating won't be a nerve wracking experience.

Its not as complicated as it seems. Just give it a go.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Re: What is a White Washed Asian?

Originally posted by swampwiz
:confused:
A white washed asian girl is an asian girl who has embraced the western culture while practically completely ignoring her asian roots. They tend to listen to rock/alternative/punk/emo. I agree with Tom on this one. I have met plenty of white washed asian girls and from all my past experiences they are no good.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Dapper Swindler

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I love threads like this because I used to be like this and coming to this site changed my life. It's great to see other people come here who deserve to learn the ability to change things.
 

BlaKTooth

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Originally posted by Enigma412
I feel your pain. I am 21 and in the same boat. Here is a I posted about similar problemshttp://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=68629 .



I am in the same situation. I was a loner and fundamentally anti-social for my first two years in college but I have become increasingly friendly and sociable since I began my junior year, especially since November. I have a large circle of acquantinces but no real friends, as in the kind that you would hang out with over the weekend.

My parents are Muslim immigrants (I am an agnostic who hates Islam for causing 99.9999% of my problems) who didn't allow me to date and that is the core reason for me being an AFC. While everyone else was learning the ropes, so to speak, with women in middle school and high school I was forced to be on the sidelines, even though I had plenty of opportunties in my senior year. Thanks to the curse of being born to Muslim parents, I was unable to make anything of countless opportunities with HB's in my senior year. As I mentioned earlier, I basically threw away my first to years in college--my first years of freedom. Of course, I didn't have a car until my junior year and that is what truly gave me the feeling of freedom and I have tried to change to an extent but, like you, have failed thus far.



First, we Asians must never forget that white does not equal "Western", "American", or "Canadian." However, I understand your point and if that is the case we are screwed since the US is 96% non-Asian (and the largest Asian group is a mere 1% of the population) and Canada is almost 90% non-Asian (the largest Asian group in Canada is just 3% of the population).

You may be right, though. Even subpar whites have decent social success but we are viewed as aliens from outer space by many people, which automatically kills our chances with them--even if we are clearly not immigrants and have no accent and no ties to any foreign country or foreign culture! One of my suitmates is white and he literally plays video games all day but he has several friends and he, unlike me, was able to become friends with his female dorm neighbors across the hall and I have made an honest effort to befriend many women in my dorm and am 0-for-7 or something. Sometimes I curse the day my parents immigrated.
enigma;; you're not getting any girls because you f'in HATE yourself. I'm Muslim; I was born in a muslim country and lived there for 6 years of my life. You've been over here your whole life and you're complaining. Whiner :rolleyes:

I'm not into asian culture, I prefer western culture myself. But, not being white hasnt stopped me from enjoying it at all. Hell, i ****ing sing in my show choir at school (i got a sweet baritone voice--pretty much accent-less-- which has gotten me a lot of recognition, like solos in school + awards).

What you don't have is any sense of self esteem. Feeling like an outsider?? the hell, we're all human. You're never an outsider xcept when you think you are.


But anyway, rant over. It's good to hear you're breakin outta your shell; there's hope for you yet :p
 

Enigma412

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Re: Re: What is a White Washed Asian?

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
A white washed asian girl is an asian girl who has embraced the western culture while practically completely ignoring her asian roots. They tend to listen to rock/alternative/punk/emo. I agree with Tom on this one. I have met plenty of white washed asian girls and from all my past experiences they are no good.
What is so noxious about that? I have never lived in Asia. Why should I care anymore about a distant land and alien culture anymore than we expect typical white Americans and white Canadians to do? Do we expect 2nd generation Italian-Americans or Italian-Canadians to know Italian, listen to Italian music, watch Italian TV via satelliate, and read Italian literature?

Until Asians see themselves as, as legitimately American or Canadian as whites the larger society will continue to see Asians as perptually foreign--with very damaging consquences for Asians.

I'm Muslim; I was born in a muslim country and lived there for 6 years of my life.
Your parents were likely progressive. My parents kept me in a de facto prison, in which girls were to have no place. I couldn't even be friends with them! That has had devestating consquences for my ability to understand and interact with women.
 

comic_relief

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