23 Year old Virgin: I'M NOT AFC!

[BDDazza]

I have been a long time lurker on this forum for the last 7 years, but I've come to the point where change isnt happening fast enough. I'm not a AFC by any stretch, I do not put women on a pedestal, I'm not a bad boy or a thug, actually I'm well educated yet I'm a 23 year old virgin, I haven't even had a proper girlfriend.

I've done it all, I've read/listened to all the Guru's like David Deangelo, Neil Strauss, Mystery, Pook etc. I've even read the DJ bible. The concepts I fully understand and have been adopting i.e. Kino, pushing & pulling, neg hits, story telling, ****y & funny and it works initially but sooner or later I will be friend zoned.

My inner game is sorted, I'm confident with myself and around women. I put myself and finances and I regard myself as the prize.

I have come to the conclusion that its a numbers game. I tried online dating on Plenty of Fish (POF) a few times but didn’t get any response, it seems full of attentions wh0res seeking validation. I'm sick of day-game pick up as it always ends with the girl not responding to her text/phone calls. Night game at the club is also full of attention wh0res whom exist only to shoot you down when you approach. My male friends are not succeeding particularly well with women so asking them for advice isn't going to happen, my friends know very few ladies so I cannot count on my social circle to introduce me to women.

I guess I'm looking for fresh ideas to meet single women and to lose my virginity ASP.

 

[Fuglydude]

First of all mang, welcome to the forum. You need to initially figure out what you want. You're 23 and a virgin. Therefore, I assume you wanna lose your virginity first and foremost. However, after that are you looking to settle down w/ a gf or are you gonna be a ***** and screw tons of women? By the way the latter is much more fun

Education/intelligence is a good thing... However, many a times smart guys tend to overanalyze the situation and get frustrated that their smarts aren't getting them women as would seem logical. Remember, women and attraction aren't directly logical... they're actually quite paradoxically. I think it was David Deangelo that put it best: Attraction is just nature's way of making sure you get with someone that has the best possible genes. Today, this translates to women going after high status, hypermasculine alpha males.

One thing you can start right away is to limit masturbation and think w/ your cack. Also, don't be afraid to phuck substandard women (women below your physical standards)... think of them as "practice girls". I'm a reasonably attractive guy and I've done substandard women just because they were ready and willing and I needed to blow a load. Every professional athlete has less talented practice squad players to compete with during practice sessions to get them ready for the big game. Use practice girls the same way. I also find that refraining from masturbation prior to a workout makes me more aggressive and I end up w/ a great session. I have had several buddies tell me that they stop masturbating/sex a few days before football camp or an MMA fight just to keep that aggression in them. I strongly believe this will help your game w/ women as well.

What kind of shape are you in? In my experience being in elite shape is by far the easiest way to get laid. I've done a stint on POF and found that picking up and sleeping w/ girls from that site was like shooting fish in a bucket. I used to be a male entertainer, and all I had to do was post promo-type pics where I looked good. These pics attracted women like fly to dog ****, and I got a fair bit of play. If you're on okay or average shape... get into elite shape. Its a tough brutal path, but the world is a completely different place when you're physically elite... I kid you not.

What kind of a social network do you have? I have several buddies that meet women at fitness classes at our local gym. They say that yoga and some of the cardio kickboxing classes are goldmines for meeting hot, fit, single young women who are looking to meet fit guys. Maybe joining other activities and building up a more extensive social network would help you to meet more women.

Make female friends: This goes a bit hand-in-hand w/ building up a social network. Having female friends can kill two birds with one stone in that it can get you social proof in public settings and also help build your social network.

Hope this helps... Let us know how you do.

 

[perseverance]

Your problem is your desperation to lose your V-plates.

You see being a virgin as problematic and you seem like someone who is making a big deal out of it? Correct me if I am wrong here.

All I can suggest to you is that if you are that desperate to get rid of it, go to a brothel or keep trying as you are.

 

[Chickfight]

You're definitely in denial that your inner game is sorted, but I doubt you'll accept that.

 

[BDDazza]

Thank you all for the encouraging posts.

However, after that are you looking to settle down w/ a gf or are you gonna be a ***** and screw tons of women? By the way the latter is much more fun

In my teenage years I missed out on a few opportunities to either get laid or to get sexual with girls. I feel that I have missed out, so I'm not in a rush to settle down as I want to make up for lost time. I'm already came to the conclusion that LTR aren't for me either as I value my freedom. I guess I'm looking for a FB.

I'd say I'm in an athletic shape, except that I'm know here near bulky enough for my age. I'm one of those guys whom can eat 4 big meals everyday and still not put on a single pound. I try to stay well groomed, fresh clothes, hair cut and I try to work out with dumbbells a few times a week.

Your problem is your desperation to lose your V-plates.

You see being a virgin as problematic and you seem like someone who is making a big deal out of it? Correct me if I am wrong here.

All I can suggest to you is that if you are that desperate to get rid of it, go to a brothel or keep trying as you are.

I wouldn't say desperation. I had a couple of opportunities to lose it over the years but turned down the opportunity because at the time I felt that losing it wasn't a big deal or I would get a "better" and more suitable girl in the future. I've been far from desperate up until now, it was actually the DJ mentality of working on ones "inner game" and "finances" which has lead me to delaying handling the virginity aspect of my life. I'm not going to pay for it or go to a brothel.

You're definitely in denial that your inner game is sorted, but I doubt you'll accept that.

What makes you say that? I've got the right mentality, high self worth, high self esteem, not putting a girls above myself, not being needy, getting my finances sorted etc. If a portion of inner game is missing I'm all ears.

 

[BDDazza]

To give you DJs more background information. My main issue is meeting *quality* women, once I meet women I start to notice their flaws in personality and character and I become critical and dismiss them almost right away. The few semi-quality women I do meet will start playing games as far as texting, phone calls, trying to make me jealous and I would next her straight away! I was reading another thread about how salsa classes being a good way to meet quality ladies. The only issue I have is where I live older ladies (40+) tend to go dancing as a past-time (likewise yoga), not the younger generation. I'm looking for quality women, one that doesn’t give me headaches or mind games.

I guess this DJ path is my own worst enemy. I next and dismiss the few semi-quality girls as I feel I deserve better and it has contributed to me being a 23 year old virgin.

 

[Hakuna]

Baby steps, you can't just start opening sets and expect to get HB10s dropping panties left and right.

I would say the 2 things you need to do prioritize right now are expanding your female social circle, and getting in shape.

Getting a torn physique is an easy way to build social proof and natural confidence. It will enhance your game significantly. You won't need mental steroids or a dating coach, just a gym membership.

meeting a girl through a mutual friend is much easier than doing cold approaches. You'll already have social proof.

And I don't understand, you're a 23 year old virgin yet you have high standards? That's an oxymoron.

 

[Fuglydude]

To give you DJs more background information. My main issue is meeting *quality* women, once I meet women I start to notice their flaws in personality and character and I become critical and dismiss them almost right away. The few semi-quality women I do meet will start playing games as far as texting, phone calls, trying to make me jealous and I would next her straight away! I was reading another thread about how salsa classes being a good way to meet quality ladies. The only issue I have is where I live older ladies (40+) tend to go dancing as a past-time (likewise yoga), not the younger generation. I'm looking for quality women, one that doesn’t give me headaches or mind games.

I guess this DJ path is my own worst enemy. I next and dismiss the few semi-quality girls as I feel I deserve better and it has contributed to me being a 23 year old virgin.

Its good to have high standards when it comes to women. However, if you're looking to be promiscuous and rack up good lay numbers you will have to make compromises on the quality of women that you stick your tool into... such is the fact of life, unless you're exceptionally good looking, loaded/famous, have mad game etc. I'm good friends w/ several veteran male entertainers that have slept with hundreds of women, including strippers, bartenders and other hot girls. Even they have slept with "below standard" girls from time to time.

At this stage in the game you probably wouldn't be able to keep a high quality girl even if you had a chance with one, because you lack sexual skills. High quality women have lotsa options, and they're gonna want good sex. As I said before, since you're inexperienced I'm gonna advise you to get some experience with lower quality "practice girls". ... These girls are practice squad material that prep you for the higher quality girls. Just like an NFL first team offense going against the practice squad D.

You said earlier you wanted a FB... well, I'm gonna correct you and tell you right now that you don't want A FB.. you want several FBs that you can rotate. A high quality man always has options. Having lotsa options will kill desperation and all the other associated shiite that comes about because of it. Unless you're gonna have an exclusive LTR always pursue multiple women.

I'm also gonna reiterate the fact that you need to get into better shape... Being in "athletic shape" as you describe it simply is not enough if you're looking to screw multiple hot women.... When you're in elite shape you don't really need to try... trust me on that. Any semblance of game will have women willing to fall on your cack. To give you an idea this is me (and my fiance) during my stripping career:

http://s102.photobucket.com/albums/m91/Treydesmon/

I consider myself to be the minimal standard for being a male entertainer. I think most of the guys I worked with were in better shape than me.

So in summary:

* Use practice girls (lower your standards)... remember you're not marrying these girls. You're just using their mouths, pu$$ies, and a$$es for pleasure.

* Get into better shape... makes life/getting laid WAAAY easier.

* Always pursue multiple women. (unless you're in an exclusive LTR)

 

[terran2k]

I think you're living in a fantasy land as to where exactly you really are at in life.
there's obviously nothing wrong with you right, you're rock solid, it's just all those women that turn you down, there's something wrong with them right?

 

[UniKKatiL]

Just pay a hoe so you get it out of your head.

 

[perseverance]

You do realise that your first time isn't going to be brilliant don't you? I'd hate to break your vision of how sex should be, but sex is very different to how you imagine it will be.

You'll lose it when it happens, but trying hard to lose it will send out vibes that you're desperate and you don't want to be giving off these vibes. Just relax and focus on other things like sorting out your inner game, which is not up to scratch, no matter how much you disagree and think otherwise. Hell I'm in a better situation than you and even I acknowledge that my inner game still needs work.

 

[CantTouchMyStyle]

I didn't read any of the text - don't need to.

As soon as you get your **** wet for the first time you will be mind fvcked. It happens.

You are in for a rude awakening.

at ease gentlemen.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Dude if you're getting friend zoned then it is you that is the problem. Preventing the friend zone is very easy: you just be open about your intentions! Sure, she might turn you down, but that's way better than being in the friend zone. If you're getting friend zoned then start being more sexual and more open about your intentions and it won't happen. Simple as that.

Anyways, after reading your posts I think you're in denial as to how you truly feel about yourself. I think that any sane guy, given the chance to fvck a girl he's attracted to, would take it and not say "oh I could do better" because that's not an excuse; even if you could do better you'd still **** the cookie right in front of you! You need to stop denying that you have self esteem issues or at least something going on here that's kept you from going for it.

 

[Chickfight]

What makes you say that? I've got the right mentality, high self worth, high self esteem, not putting a girls above myself, not being needy, getting my finances sorted etc. If a portion of inner game is missing I'm all ears.

You may have almost all those things, but you don't have the right mentality. You rationalize that all girls are attention wh0res, because the alternative would be that you have a lower value than the guys who DO get laid.

Let me tell you that neither is true. The only thing separating you from success is that you have accepted a reality in which all girls are attention wh0res. You focus on everything that is congruent with this reality and it becomes stronger. Let go of judgement. It's NOT you and it's NOT them, it's your ego's fault for encouraging you to believe in a reality in which you don't get laid. Your ego is the same thing that discourages you from talking to that cute, interesting looking girl on the street even though YOU want to. Everyone experiences this and the only way to overpower your ego is to accept your reality is not an accurate reflection of the world. What I'm saying is different from your reality and so it will cause your ego to make you feel bad. I'm not here to make you feel good, I'm here to help you.

If and once you have accepted this, you ego will still try to make you believe it's not true, it will set off negative emotions encouraging you to go back to your old mindset, but you are not your emotions, you are not your ego . It's time to say "fvck you" to your Ego.

 

[runner83]

Regardless of how good you think you are, if girls are friend zoning you and going off to bang other dudes, you need to change something.

Denying reality is not going to change it. Accept that YOU (or some parts) are the problem in the whole scenario and work out what you have to change.

Don't be so picky with women and get some experience in. The first girl (or even the first 10) you f*ck won't be the one you decide to keep, so don't worry about it.

But if you don't want mind games or stuff like that, and aren't willing to accept that it will continue to happen until you get a bit more experience, then simply give up and keeping w*nking off to porn on your computer.

Otherwise get out there and take action.

 

[1337]

^ chickfight is 100% dead on spot,listen to him he speaks words of wisdom and I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[BDDazza]

Thank for the advice guys.

But some of the advice is based on 100% perception. Both JLay87 and runner83 seem to think I'm being friend zoned. That isn't the case what so ever, as I said earlier my issue is that the I'm friend zoning the few girls I come into contact with for not meeting my requirements in looks, class or personality. Not vice versa.

I'm also finding that I'm not meeting enough single high quality women regularly enough, the few high quality women that I have/had in my social circle tend to be in LTR so its a automatic friend zone by default.

If anything I was hoping to get advice on "where" or "how" to meet more women, preferably quality ones so *I* don’t end up friend zoning her. But it would seem that nobody here truly has the answer so I'm guessing that I'll have to lower my standards and start pursuing less attractive women or women of a lower social class.

Fuglydude, you appear to be in really good shape. I'm putting together a eating plan that involves me eating more calories per-day, I'm going to use the festivities of Christmas as an excuse to put on weight.

 

[BDDazza]

I appreciate the feedback guys. I'm awaiting some more good advice from the fellow DJs.

 

[MrP]

All you need to do is escalate.

Get her alone.
Kiss her.
Make out.
Touchy touchy.
Licky licky.
Sex.
A sense of accomplishment.

 

[Vice]

Thank for the advice guys.

But some of the advice is based on 100% perception. Both JLay87 and runner83 seem to think I'm being friend zoned. That isn't the case what so ever, as I said earlier my issue is that the I'm friend zoning the few girls I come into contact with for not meeting my requirements in looks, class or personality. Not vice versa.

I'm also finding that I'm not meeting enough single high quality women regularly enough, the few high quality women that I have/had in my social circle tend to be in LTR so its a automatic friend zone by default.

If anything I was hoping to get advice on "where" or "how" to meet more women, preferably quality ones so *I* don’t end up friend zoning her. But it would seem that nobody here truly has the answer so I'm guessing that I'll have to lower my standards and start pursuing less attractive women or women of a lower social class.

Fuglydude, you appear to be in really good shape. I'm putting together a eating plan that involves me eating more calories per-day, I'm going to use the festivities of Christmas as an excuse to put on weight.

You're throwing around a bunch of pickup jargon. Not a good sign.

Sounds like you've done alot of reading/researching, how much ACTION have you taken?

Something that happens often in this community is that people read all this stuff and build up a false expectation on how they are supposed to perform socially and sexually, and then become disappointed when they don't fit their own impossible standard. They want to get the hottest girl right away.

Sounds like your male friends are a bunch of losers. Get new ones.

You also sound like you over analyze things.

And if they're ignoring your phone calls, the issue is YOU. Women don't play games, YOU DO. Do you think a woman is going to try playing games with Brad Pitt if he calls? I don't know why the f*ck you text. Texting is for women and chumps.

You also seem arrogant and too smart for your own good. Chill out. You might be killing the buzz.

Post a video/photo of yourself too, so we can take a look at your mannerisms and style. Use the girls that are in LTRs for help to get your sh*t together, you are probably doing things that you aren't even aware of.

I'm making a bunch of judgements based only on the stuff you write, so don't take this too seriously. But take it into consideration