?#2

[tamales]

Okay, so yes I am trying to move on from former DJ. Hey, at least I kept my panties on and even refused a kiss on our first meeting after almost three months. But now it seems like a broken record. He just called, got me alll wet and excited... but this time it's sort of like a broken record. I got excited on the phone. Won't go into detail and then just like a woman emailed him and said that maybe this wasn't a good idea. I mean I have other men after me and well, it is very clear that this man is a player and well , while he says he misses me, thinks about me, and now realizes just what he was missing out on.. It's still the same old moves. Seems he just wants a lay or to get lucky. I mean I know that I have a hold over him but I am not in denial that there are probably a string of women he ****s on a daily or weekly basis.

I emailed him to say that I wasn't so sure I wanted to get back into this. I mean I have other options now and well, it's like a broken record. Not bashing him. On one hand he says that now he realizes what he was missing out on but still the same ol' DJ moves. Never staying over, or a real date on a Sat. night and well, hell this time it just won't do. I have cried long and hard over him but got this far and realize that's it's more about taking care of myself and not settling. Not to bash any DJ's on here. I know this man really likes me but there seems to be a major block. Even his best friends thinks it's odd. I mean the chemistry and friendship b/w us is unmatched. He is divorced and I know sleeping with others. Me, I don't sleep around and just waiting for mr. right. At one point, I thought it was him. But now getting my game on and facing reality.

Reality sucks. I wish there was some sort of trick you men could give me or tell me to make him really want me. I know he misses me and is calling like crazy but even now the same old moves and secrets on his part. No weekend dates creep up. Nope, no more settling. Just needed to vent. I know my posts can be confusing. Heck, I am! Again sorry, hey, not sorry a bit!!!! Just a vent tho.. How can I turn things around. Not possible. If this man likes me then time will tell. For now it's about getting out and moving on. Never put your eggs in one basket. Makes you all that more attractive and the chances of failing aren't as harsh

T

 

[Slickster]

Tamales I knew it would only be a matter of time before you caved.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Just start dating other hot guys, and reverse all the DJ games these site teaches guys on him. And he'll be obssessed.

Remember men like things to be difficult

 

[Ninja Dude]

Tamales, I am proud of you. I remember when you first started posting and what a classic AFC you were. You have grown so much, girl! You are doing all the right things by making him see that you won't play his games and showing that you have other prospects. It sounds like you are on your way to getting what your heart desires. Even if homeboy doesn't come around, it is truly his loss. If the connection/sex is as incredible as you say, he is simply a dumbass for passing you up. I am glad you finally realize that pining over this one dude will only hurt your chances of meeting someone just as, if not more incredible who will give you the love you deserve.

In the meantime keep doing exactly what you're doing and stay strong!

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
Remember men like things to be difficult

We do?

 

[tamales]

Slickster.. think what you want. But I don't think I have caved. Fret over him. Sure. I am human. But the fact that I got through two dates now where he is all over me, he has called four or more times and still no date that I will agree. I am pretty ****ing proud tho, so bite me. I mean when anyone likes another it ain't easy, especially, when you fall hard but time will tell and I say, if he were a real DJ he wouldn't have even bothered this far. You can laugh but for a man to call from out of the country more than once and then keep calling after three months. I never once iniatied contact. He did. I think that it's fair to say, I am not the only one confused. Whatever. I wish you well, but next time man, have some input for the gal rather than just say, I told you so. I have my mom to do that But sure, you're right so what. I haven't caved in technical terms and if I do, what is your point. Unless you can be nice and offer support why bother. So you can roll your eyes at me. Fine. Go ahead. I don't need to justify anything but proud as hell that I have at least made it this far. It's a lot. And you know how nuts I was over this guy

Good luck,
Thanks!

Oh yeah, I can't type worth **** so excuse me And thanks for the support. I am certain that I will get through this and even if I did cave a bit, I am on my way. And mystery woman I can't thank you enough. I know you are right. I assume you meant reverse the DJ stuff on here. No worry but thanks. Just needed to vent. I am certain that albeit. I might have caved that this guy likes me a lot more than even he is willing to admit and well for now it's just too late. Not going to go back to the same ol' lousy treatment. Been there done that.

 

[Jay_VCU]

Originally posted by crazykid
We do?

I always wanted an easy **** session, but that's just me.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Tamales, I got your message. I will try and get back to you tomorrow. There is something wrong with my inbox private messages at the moment.

And yes Crazy, guys like it difficult-they will never admit to this.
This is what I have learnt from you guys in an indirect way from thes forums

 

[The Edge]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
And yes Crazy, guys like it difficult-they will never admit to this.
This is what I have learnt from you guys in an indirect way from thes forums

That's the biggest piece of bullshytte info I ever heard.... Easy fukk session versus a complcated-keep-my-panties-on chykk...?? Yeah what the phukk ever....

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

 

[Slickster]

Tamales

My post wasn't meant to be mean or anything like that.

I can tell that you and this guy have some major attraction to each other. From your other posts, things seemed really hot between the two of you and when I heard you were seeing him again I just knew it would only be a matter of time.

I have been in this position before too and it is extremely difficult to resist temptation from someone you had a really passionate relationship with.

My advice: If you don't want anything to happen with this guy then stay away from him. Resisting temptation can be impossible especially if things were HOT

But who am I to give advice when it doesn't sound like either of you know what you want.

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by The Edge
That's the biggest piece of bullshytte info I ever heard.... Easy fukk session versus a complcated-keep-my-panties-on chykk...?? Yeah what the phukk ever....

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

I conquer...Blue balls or good sex? Gee, this is tough...Mystery, guys like to make it tough for females. If you make it tough for us, you will be back in the bar hoping for someone else to appraoch you.

 

[Bonhomme]

Not if one has a LIFE, Mystery...

I wrote it before and write it once more: a gal being a bit difficult makes me want her more to a point. And it's not that far a point. A couple or three calls not returned, and it's hasta la vista, babe!

Actually, I've never gotten anywhere -- not even so much as a make out session -- with anyone when there was the least bit of doubt in my mind they were crazy about me. So, that precedent having been set, I'm very quick to "NEXT."

 

[Quick]

Mystery, you're wrong. Guys like it when girls play "hard to get" to spice things up a little. But there's a very thin line between continuing to pursue, and assuming that you're a lost cause. I would prefer that every girl that likes me tells me straight out, and I would love to be just as honest with her. Most of the guys when they first come here have to be trained out of telling a girl exactly how they feel. I used to be totally up front and honest, until I realized with experience that no girl would ever match that, and most were turned off by it.

When we were AFCs, many of us were willing to put up with a difficult girl because we thought we would eventually win her, but we didn't prefer it that way. With my new more realistic attitude, a woman that I even suspect is deliberately making it hard will make me lose interest.

Tamale, a girl in a situation like yours is one of my biggest problems. You shouldn't be considering him or dating him or letting him get you hot over the phone. What does it take before you stop giving him chances. I'm glad to see you're getting smarter, but you need to take the next step and cut him off for good. By going back to him, you help to create two jerks. You make it profitable for him to keep doing what he's doing, and you make the "nice guys" who have been after you, decide that being a jerk is the only smart way to go.

 

[Clint Eastwood]

Sorry to interrupt your thread Tamales, but I have to reinforce what Crazy and The Edge are trying to tell Mystery Woman.

Men don't like things difficult.

I'd be really surprised if more than a couple of men disagree with me. Men aren't the ones who like things difficult, but we often are led to believe that women do.

We just want some easy sex. But, there are so many stupid games and tests we have to get through just to get it. And, we are guilty of the games, too. Problem is, women want sex as bad as we do. However, I can assure you that we don't want things difficult. A challenge is nice, but too much of a challenge is a drag for most guys.

There's nothing I'd like more than to approach an attractive woman. Say "hi, I'm so and so. What's your name?" Then have a nice conversation follow where nobody is trying too hard to hide the fact that there is obvious chemistry and sexual tension. And, then to finally move on to sex that night. Whatever happens after that, happens. No pressures from either side for a serious relationship. Just let things take their course.

After all, that's why men and women hook up. It's not for friendship. If it was, why try so hard with the opposite sex?

Unfortunately, that's not the reality I live in. It's not the reality that most guys live in. Instead, we go through all kinds of hell and difficulty just to get laid. That's one of the main reasons that sites like this exist. If things were easy, guys would never need a site like this, and it certainly wouldn't be so popular.

Trust me. Guys don't want things to be this difficult.

 

[tamales]

Hey Slick, thanks and others. No hard feelings and appreciate the input. Honest. He just called but too tired to post my lame ass message back to him. But seeing him again was a bad idea. I mean the truth is, I am not over him, nor will I be for a while. But distance helps and well, some people are like friggin drugs ya know. We all have our stash!

Thanks!

 

[tamales]

Oh yeah, and thanks to someone on here. This guy as to be off for good. No more. Not more being friends, seeing eachother or anything. I am done. LOL. OKay, I am strong right now but what will tomorrow bring. I have already told him no more, that's it and this time after 3 months of nothing except phone calls and teasing on the phone, nothing actually happening. I just can't blow it.

Thanks again for the support on here. I can't remember your code name but it was recent and just the advice I needed to hear!

Tamales!

 

[Bonhomme]

Good for you, Tamales!

It appears that you've come to face the relality that Addictive Man can only be a FB or a source of frustration if you interact with him.

Yes, some people are like drugs. Just call him Heroin Man. And move on to another who is not so overwhelmingly likely to leave you cold turkey.

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Tamales,

Have you tried to call this guy on his sh!t? Call him out on playing games and see how he responds.

If you two are really feeling each other like that, then give it a shot. Be honest with him and spill your guts on how you feel and see what happens.

Its worth a shot right? If you are talking about him being the one and all then there is probably more to gain then to lose so just go for it.

Good luck.

Mr. Mystery

 

[tamales]

Mr. M: I have tried to call him on his **** a long while back. And will do so again but honestly, it's just not worth it. I mean the sex is the best in the world and the rest, is okay.. well better than okay but he never wanted to go there. The entire relationship was mainly about sex and totally messed up. I let him treat me horribly. I was just a booty call for him. I mean sure he liked me, called a lot and all but it wasn't like he ever brought me roses or anything. Hardly! Ick... I cringe at my former AFCness...I fell for him and got really hurt. Still am some but at a much better spot.

Now he is telling me that he realizes what he's missed out on. Not sure if he means the sex (most likely or ME or both). Been 5 or so months since I slept with him. Gosh, it really has been a while! Or at least four. He calls every week or so to touch base and say hi. We saw eachother for the first time last week. I was very good but now, Ifind myself getting into the same ol AFC pattern and simply won't do it. I will not sleep with him again. Ever. I have to much to lose. Mainly, my self worth and dignity. I am going to try and call him on his **** and just see.. but really in my heart I should just move on. I mean he is once again, calling and talking about just coming over and ***ing. No mention of dinner or a movie. I am horny as hell but no thanks.

I have been doing great since before he came back into my life and not about to go back there and be a chump. I know he cares for me and now, I think he realizes this was more than he bargained for. Even his friends think this whole thing is nuts. I mean the sex is great, we get along, all his friends like me.. why won't he let me in and worse, why doesn't he want me for a gf... Don't answer that if you can't be nice. He is not a jerk in the so called normal way but he is the worst kind. He is a total master DJ with women. More than I can explain.

I also know that he wants me "sexually of course" more than anything and that in his mind, he is certain he will have me. He told me tonight that he simply had to be with me again. He missed me more than anything and that I turn him on in a way no other woman in the world. Just by talking to him. Imagine that guys! And you know how I just love to yap. Well I am keeping my trap shut with him and not going to ever let him have me again. At least not unless he earns it. And he has not proved worthy.

God help me not to cave. I think I can do this. I think I can, I think I can.....I know most don't think so on here but trust me, there is some good to come out of all of this and if it weren't for him I wouldn't have learned all this crap the hard way

We'll see. Now I am just pissed at myself for allowing him to talk to me today sort of dirty on the phone and for me getting aroused. Hey I am human. The saddest part about all of this is that we have mutual friends, he is my patent attorney and well, I wanted us to be able to remain friends. But not sure that will ever be possible. The attraction is just to strong. Ever had a situation where it was this strong and you eventually, did become friends.

I honestly, don't crave him in the sack. But I do want to hold and kiss him. Sigh....

Thanks,


Tamales

PS good to be back. I needed to come back for a time. Hope that's okay.

 

[Jay26]

Wow, sounds like he's got a pretty good deal here, he sleeps around shows up whenever he likes and you let him have his wicked way with you, then he goes off and sleeps with whoever else he wants right? And you of course cry yourself to sleep?

Why's he such a catch? A divorced, short mini-ninja dude??? hello??!

Man if I had a chick I was into that did that I'd kick her to the curb. Have some backbone!

If you really want to move on, cut all contact and do so. Make a decision and do it.

BTW It's true, mean don't like challenges, they like 'small' challenges just for the sake of the game, like someone said for some 'spice' but that's it! Just that! Being a major challenge is just annoying.